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Is Your Child Acting Out - Know How to Respond in Right Way
Sometimes children may exhibit weird behavioural traits and act out may be one of them. So what exactly is acting out? Is it just another developmental phase your child may be going through or is it more than that? Let us take a look at why a child usually acts out and what rectification measures you can take as a parent, in the following post.
What is Acting Out Behaviour?
When your child acts fussy, shows temper tantrums, exhibits unrestrained behaviour and depicts other such kinds of emotions, it can be classified as acting out behaviour. This kind of behaviour usually results from suppressed emotions or feelings. So, if you find your kiddo or toddler acting out, it may be your child’s unintended cry for help. Many reasons may evoke such personality or behavioural traits in kids and teenagers, and as a parent, you may want the reasons behind the same.
Reasons Why Child is Acting Out
Before you look for the solutions to rectify or amend your child’s erratic behaviour, it is imperative to go to the root cause of it. Here we have short-listed some of the reasons that may make your child behave in this manner:
1. Untreated Learning Disability
Sometimes children may suffer from learning disabilities. In most cases the parents may be able to identify such issues, however, in situations where such problems remain untreated or undiagnosed, it may hamper the child’s ability to perform various tasks. Inability to do so may give birth to acting out behaviour.
2. To Impress Friends or Peers
Sometimes a child may exhibit such nasty personality traits only to gain their friends’ attention or to overcome any kind of neglect. Whatever may be the reason, if a child is acting out to get attention, it is vital to nip it in the bud or else the child may continue to do this so that he may grab the attention of his friends.
3. Seek the Attention of the Adults
It is not only their friends’, but sometimes children may act out to gain the attention of the adults too. Most of the times the children may opt for this resort because the positive resort to gain attention did not work well. Therefore, they may unleash their negative streak and show this kind of behaviour.
4. To Gain Power and Control
Sometimes the sheer aim for such behaviour could be to gain power and control of a situation. This happens when a child feels that he lacks power and control. He may express this kind of attitude to show that he in control of the situation.
5. Agitation Due to Some other Factors
Sometimes children may behave all grumpy and fussy because something may be bothering them. This could be something that may be going with their health for example; they may feel bloated or gassy. On the other hand, children may feel uncomfortable due to tight clothing, uncomfortable shoes and various such factors.
6. Unable to Express
Young children may often find it difficult to express themselves, especially because they lack proper vocabulary. Inability to put across their feelings and emotions may frustrate them, and thus he may showcase such behavioural traits.
7. In Response to Certain Situation
Many times such kind of behaviour comes into light when the child is in a particular type of situation or as a response to an upsetting situation. Therefore, a child acting out after starting kindergarten could be a response to separation anxiety, child acting out at school but not at home could be because of peer pressure or being bullied at school, child acting out because of divorce could be due to emotional stress, child acting out after visitation could be because of resentment and so on.
8. Undiagnosed Mental Disability or Condition
In some cases, children may be exhibiting this kind of behaviour due to some underlying mental disorder such as autism, OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder, ADHD or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or anxiety disorders.
9. As a Response to Over-Controlling
When children are nurtured in an overly protective and controlling environment, they may feel suppressed. This kind of behavioural traits may be their way of revolting against the control of their parents and showing their resentment.
10. It May Be Plain Curiosity
We all know that children are super curious and want to try out everything under the sun. Therefore, sometimes a child may be behaving erratically or unacceptably just to test the boundaries with the parents and to see up to what extent he can take it.
Symptoms of Child Acting Out
Most children behave erratically once in a while, so how will you be able to establish that your kiddo is acting out. Well, here are some symptoms that may help you to find out if your child exhibits the following traits on a regular basis:
Lying
Stealing
Damaging stuff
Harming others (people or pets)
Self-harm
Poor academic performance
Frequent temper tantrums
Drinking, smoking or drugs
How to Discover the Cause of Acting Out Before Treatment?
Many reasons may make your child behave a certain way. It will not be a wise thing just to put a tag on the child saying ‘he is a bad child’. Such kinds of behaviour have their cause deeply rooted in the child’s emotions, feelings, loneliness or fears. So, simply shunning a child’s behaviour by labelling him as a ‘naughty child’ or a ‘spoilt child’ may further aggravate the situation than putting an end to it. It is important to establish the cause and then look for ways to cure the behaviour.
Ways to Respond When Your Child is Acting Out
Following are some ways of responding when your child shows this kind of behaviour:
1. Be Positive
Do not scold, punish or mock your child for his behaviour. On the other hand, whenever your child behaves well, you should praise and reward him. This way he will understand what is expected of him.
2. Be Consistent and Clear With Your Expectation
It is essential to explain rules and regulations to the children. Once they are aware of it, it is easier for them to follow. They may also understand the implications and consequences for not abiding the rules.
3. It Is Not Always About You
Your child may be acting all weird and erratic, and it may be a hurtful sight, but it is important to understand that your child’s behaviour, anger and resentment may not always be because of you. It is important to talk to your child and know the cause.
4. Be Calm
When the child acts all hyper and unreasonable, it is essential that you do not opt for the same path. When you are calm and composed, you will be able to handle the situation better and help your child too.
When to See the Doctor
You will know for sure when the situation may not be in your control. If you are not able to manage your child’s tantrums or your child’s symptoms are becoming worse, you must seek medical help. Sometimes a child’s behavioural traits may not only be affecting the child, but it may be affecting the siblings or the entire family, you must seek the help of a professional or a child psychologist.
Identifying the root cause of the problem is crucial. Only then, it will be possible to correct any such behavioural problems.
Also Read: Causes of Aggression Behaviour in Children
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Social Taboos that Still Shackle Indian Women
Social taboos have long been discussed and criticized, but sneakily continue to linger. Existing more commonly in economically underdeveloped countries and eastern nations like India, women are usually the worst victims of taboos. What is heartening is how the perspective is changing against taboos that have long impeded life for women.
A walk down the centuries brings to light scores of restrictions we have placed on life based on the times, gender, caste or some such “category”. These prohibitions, that were probably relevant in the past, get suffocating when they fail to change with the growth of civilization. Social taboos have proved especially damaging to the development of women, their social status and overall living. There is a pressing need for society to re-look and reconsider taboos in order for us to enjoy a fresh lease of life.
Disturbing Social Taboos for Women
Social taboos in India date back to the prehistoric times and the list can be unimaginably long. Shocking as they are, women have predominantly been targeted and forced to adhere to them. Some of these taboos now seem decadent but continue to be real for some women:
During her menstruation cycle, a woman is considered “impure” and has limited access to the social world. She cannot visit a temple, touch certain things, associate with people, wash her hair or touch elder’s feet. She cannot even spell out ‘period’ and has no option but to wait it out.
Widows in many parts of India have to go bald. With their husband's death – who is often far older than her – her venturing out of home and socialising come to an abrupt end. Remarriage is only a dream.
In the child marriage era, little girls were often married off early and kept away from school as education would come at the cost of social interaction. Being a girl meant remaining illiterate for rest of her life.
Menstrual Taboo in the Modern Scenario
Amid increasing awareness about female physiology, inclusion of sex education in schools, and transformation of perspectives about the menstruation cycle, findings of a recent survey are not too encouraging. Recently conducted research reveals that more than 90% urban women rule out the idea of washing hair when they are menstruating, close to 70% consider it inappropriate to water plants, and a large section in Southern India won’t go out of home during this time.
Strangely enough, the menstrual taboo prevails in all major religions albeit in different forms. The propagators of this taboo, often belonging to conservative families, bring out remote mythological connections and religious beliefs. There is no denying that menstrual taboo persists even in so-called modern India.
Breaking the Shackles
While setting prohibitions and restrictions in some spheres of life is essential, this is not so for debilitating social taboos that only bring down quality of life for women. Taboos for women string us to conform to illogical beliefs and hamper our growth and development. If you encounter members of your society adamantly sticking to age-old taboos that serve no purpose but to humiliate a woman, try to communicate to them the pitfalls of their beliefs. The spread of education and higher standards of living among women, who are now increasingly getting financially independent, should help rid India of hogwash.
As responsible women, it is a good idea to participate in community workshops, express your ideas in social circles and stand up for your beliefs if subjected to familial or social pressure about taboos. If need be, we all have it in us to be the women who can pioneer constructive change. Read more
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Bedtime Poems: Make Learning Fun With These 4 Types of Poems
Teach your children the importance of positivity, curiosity and learning with engaging bedtime poems. These nightly rituals can promote sound sleep and also strengthen the bond between parents and children. There's a huge collection of poems for kids that you can explore. Use the internet to your advantage and create a collection of poems which makes learning fun!
Reading out an interesting bedtime poem for kids is a great way to relax them. It gets them ready for bed and can instill in them happy and positive thoughts. Reading their favourite poems over and over again also help them learn, so it's not long before you'll have them recite the poem to you. Since children learn very quickly, it's imperative to select the right types of poems. Humorous poems, inspirational rhymes and fantastical limericks are fun to read and listen to. Here are a few that you can try.
Types of Bedtime Poems for Children
1. Funny Poems
Kids love humour, so indulge them with funny poems. Most moms would agree that laughter is good for kids and what better way than poems that can make them laugh. You'll love to see your darling sleep with a smile on her face. A couple of humorous poems you can check out are 'The Tighty-Whitey Spider', 'Carl the Cookie Carrier' by Ken Nesbitt, and the very cheeky 'Today The Teacher Farted'.
2. Inspiring Poems
Inspiring poems can have a big impact on kids. You should get as many of them as you can. Some poems you can read are 'Aim High to the Sky' by James McDonald, 'The Man Who Thinks He Can' by Walter D. Wintle, and 'Growing Smiles'. These poems will infuse the kids with a spirit of positivity and motivate them further.
3. Animal and Character Poems
Children love anything to do with animals and fantastic characters. They're stimulating and can expand their creative side. Let their imagination soar as they listen to 'My Dog and I' by Alice J. Cleator, 'The Fly-Away Horse' by Eugene Field, and 'The Ant and the Cricket'. Some voice modulation will bring the character to life and your kids will love it!
4. Poems About the Moon and Stars
It's never too early to instill an interest in astronomy! Such poems are loved by kids as these pique their curiosity. Choose poems with rhymes that make learning easy. You can recite 'Our Star' by James McDonald, 'The Princess in Saturn' by Laura E. Richards, and 'Escape At Bedtime' by Robert Louis Stevenson. These poems will help them imagine beyond their limit.
Remember: Variety Makes for Fun Learning.
Just one or two poems won't make your child happy. You'll get bored reading them too. Have a collection of engaging numbers instead, and you'll have no problem meeting the requests of "one more poem, please!" from your children.
These are only a few bedtime poems from among dozens that you can try. There are numerous websites dedicated to children's poems that you can visit. Pick the best ones that match the interests of your children. You can also ask them to choose. They'll love their poem time and will learn them all before you know it! Read more
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Teaching the Art of Giving to Your Children
In this world of competition and our constant endeavour to become the best, we have forgotten the most important thing, i.e., to teach our little ones the art of giving.
No doubt, we try to do the best for our children. But we don't realise when this becomes pride and we loose our focus on becoming and doing the best for our children, and start focusing on being better than others.
All this is constantly observed by children and they also start talking in similar terms.
These days the topic of discussions in schools among children are related to material things. For example, they ask, "Which car you bought?" Or "Do you have an expensive phone?"
As parents, we give everything to our children whatever they demand as after all, we are earning to give the best life to our kids.
Our children in their growing years receive almost everything they desire. Today, everything is so easily available to them that they forget the value of it. Sometimes, they are even ashamed of the things they have and want more expensive and glamorous things. Hence, I have started taking my daughter to NGOs once a while to show her how small children of her age are deprived of basic needs.
On every occasion, like her birthday and every six months, we take her to an NGO, where we distribute Stationary items, school bags, medical kits, food items, etc to children.
We are instilling this value and the art of giving in our daughter right from an early age. This way children will understand that we are lucky to have a comfortable life, but not everyone around is as lucky as we are. Hence, it is our moral duty to give something to the people who are in need. If not money, then at least clothes or food.
By donating something to students, patients, etc., we help them and by making this contribution, children will gradually understand the realities of life and start valuing the things that are given to them.
Apart from this, the sense of satisfaction we get is beyond explanation. So friends, from now on, involve your children in this noble act of kindness and help them become humble.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Dr Priyanka Kalra has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
11 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
At which day should I take pregnancy test
Dr Priyanka Kalra
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist
9 hours ago
A. after 2 weeks. do ultrasound n necessary tests after consulting a specialist. without proper check up we can't advise or help you.. Avoid shirt cuts when it comes to health if mother n baby. ok.
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
11 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
when should I take pregnancy test?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
9 hours ago
A. after missed your periods you can wait for one week more ,then you can do a urine pregnancy test to know about the pregnancy result and consult with your doctor according to the result for medication
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
11 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
but having regular cycles below 35 days. some time it will extended upto 40 days.
so when should I take pregnancy test at home?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
10 hours ago
A. If you have missed your periods you can wait for one week more or else you can do a urine pregnancy test to know about the pregnancy result and consult with your doctor according to the result for medication.
The best treatment to have Regular periods is by having a healthy lifestyle with regular daily walking or jogging along with mild exercise and meditation whenever possible. as medications will only act till you are taking them
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
8 hours ago
Q. Done my first routine blood test ..it shows thyroid border line.its my 6 week running as per USG.
but prior to that my thyroid level was always normal I did check up every year and got it normal .this time it shows borderline high in 6 week pregnancy.
is it something to worry.plz guide
Read moreDr Ghouse
Paediatrician
7 hours ago
A. it is better to follow your doctors advice for treating the thyroid deficiency. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts
Best activity toys for 15 month old baby
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
3 hours ago
A. Toys which have light and also sounds so that is going to be a good option for you to use apart from the different kids have different interest some kids like to play with cars some like to play with something else so just have to try to figure out what your child likes to eat just check what your child is more inclined towards
Rashmi has added a new answer
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3 hours ago
Q. how to gain weight 32weeks
Rashmi
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3 hours ago
A. You need to have a lot of good proteins and that is what is going to be helpful have a balanced diet and good have good amount of proteins as well which is what is going to be beneficial and good weight gain for your child as well
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