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What Age Gap is Best Between First and Second Child
There are parents who have just been through a pregnancy and their child is simply growing up when the thought of the next child starts to seem interesting. Having grown up in joint families or having siblings of your own can further fuel the thought of having another child in the minds of new parents. Almost all parents want that their child should have a companion just like they did. But at the same time, you might be tensed and worried about whether it is too early or too late to have a second child. Many parents wonder about the ideal age gap between siblings.
What is the Best Age Gap Between Siblings?
Age gaps between siblings can vary from simply a year to about 5 years or more. Each gap has its own share of benefits and challenges.
1. Small Age Gap
A small age gap is defined as that of a duration of a year or less than a year.
Pros
Your children will practically grow up together with each other, provided you have enough energy to cope with the demands of both the children.
The years of changing soiled diapers and listening to whiny babies will extend from a few months to a year. However, this would all end completely in a short time leaving you to come back to normal for the good.
Your older child will start feeling like an elder sibling and proceed to do things by himself. The younger sibling might learn a few things quickly by observing his elder brother.
Since both will nearly grow together, they will learn to share things amongst themselves. There might be fights or so, but a strong bond of friendship will develop between them. They will end up having a readymade partner to play games of their own age with.
With the right kind of parenting, the short difference in their age won't give rise to a feeling of jealousy or rivalry between them.
Once they grow up to a reasonable age where you don't have to worry about their needs, you can start focusing on your career and other life choices.
Cons
Giving birth to a second child within a year after the first one is born can be extremely tough. The initial years will be absolutely filled with the same routine of waking up in the middle of the night, wading through soiled diapers, breastfeeding and preparing formulas, washing an endless supply of dirty linen and so on.
The chances to enjoy watching your babies grow up will be fewer since you will always be occupied with one child or the other. This can easily get quite exhausting for both the parents.
The sleep schedules of your elder child might not be regularized by the time the younger child is born. This could then result in clashes as both children might require attention in different ways at the same time.
Having two children altogether can create quite a pressure on your finances since this calls for an extra crib, an extra pram, seats, all of which could be reused if the second child is born after a few years.
Since both the children will be growing up simultaneously, the expenses to meet their demands and the money required for their education will all take place at the same time and it can throw your financial planning out of gear.
2. Medium Age Gap
A medium age gap is defined as that of a 2 year age gap between babies and at most a 3-year gap.
Pros
Having a decent age gap of 2-3 years between each kid allows you to enjoy the growth of each child.
The elder child will be on his way to getting independent as well. He would be done with his share of soiled diapers and nappies and might be able to communicate his needs in a better manner. This could help you in looking ahead to another set of sleepless nights and dirty diapers with some satisfaction.
Your first child would be extremely excited to get in the role of the elder sibling. He might even take the responsibility of looking after his younger sibling and keeping him engaged, while you take care of other things.
With a gap of 2-3 years, your body would have recovered from the stress of pregnancy, delivery, and feeding the child. In 2-3 years, you will be back to your healthy state.
During the day, when your first child will go to preschool or so, you can focus on the second child, and schedule activities for the both of you.
Cons
With a 2-3 year age difference, there will be a few years before the siblings could play with each other.
Over the years, the age gap can create problems. The younger child might want to join the elder one and learn from him. But the elder one may refuse to play with the younger one, as he will lack the skill to even understand the game. This can lead to fights, shouting matches, and endless crying. These differences even out as they move closer to the teens.
As the life of the elder child changes, the younger one might inevitably become a part of it as well. For example, if you have to feed your younger child, and at the same time, the elder one has to go to the school, you will be in doubt. You might end up taking your toddler around everywhere, and he might not always get the rest he needs.
Taking your toddler everywhere might not even be always possible. You might need to hire a nanny or employ daycare for your elder child, which could eat into your expenses.
3. Large Age Gap
A large age gap is defined as that of a 5 year age gap between siblings or even more.
Pros
You get the chance to experience the full growth of your child until he reaches school. This allows you to fully focus on each child until they turn independent.
Having handled the cycle of an entire pregnancy, delivery, and taking care of toddlers, you will be calm and relax to handle the second pregnancy in a better manner. You will have enough energy and loads of time on hand to be able to focus on the new baby completely.
The elder sibling will be more than happy to help you out with taking care of the baby. It’s best to not load him with the responsibilities of a parent but just to allow the dynamic of an elder sibling with the younger child develops by itself.
Cons
A 5 year age gap is a large one, putting each child in a completely different stage of their development. This might result in both of them not having much in common or much to share.
Schooling will be a different thing for both of them since one might still be in school while the other makes his way to college.
Each child will make his own set of demands to you and it will be a tightrope to not let them feel like one being preferred over the other. The younger one might want to play when you will be busy helping the elder one with schoolwork.
In your heart, you may feel ready to have the next baby. But the body might take its time in getting pregnant and you might have to try harder than usual. There are certain risks involved as well with a large gap in pregnancy.
The groups you made during your first child’s toddler days might not exist anymore. Therefore, for the younger child, you might have to start from scratch and get used to the novelty all over again.
While taking care of your first child, you might have made the shift to working part-time or socializing with your friends again and getting in touch with them. Choosing another child would mean taking a break from work yet again, and you may not be ready to indulge in the baby caring attitude again. Social conversations too might revolve around future plans of growing kids, while you may still be engrossed in choosing the right kind of diaper for your newest child.
When to Have Another Child - Deciding Factors
Here are some things that you should consider before you decide to have a second child:
1. Age and Fertility
Age and fertility are inversely proportional to each other. Therefore, when making a decision to have a second child, think about your age and the how you will get pregnant.
2. Financial Condition
A smaller gap between consecutive children can put quite a load on the finances in the present as well as in future. A larger gap helps space out the expenses in a better way.
3. Age Gap
The difference in age between siblings has its own share of pros and cons. Take them into account while making a decision of when to have your second baby.
4. Babies within a Short Period of Time
This allows you to get done with the infantile care of both children in a comparatively short period and helps you pursue your career goals thereafter. But it can get quite taxing physically and emotionally.
5. Babies with a Larger Age Gap
This allows you to have time for each child in a focused manner, but at the cost of your career and a huge change in social life yet again.
6. Emotional Preparation
Of course, you will plan everything, you will be rational and think about finances when planning for a second child. But it is extremely important to know whether you really want a second child and are you prepared to handle it all. More than anything else, being emotionally ready is necessary.
Every family handles the choice of a second child in a different manner. No choice is better than the other, except for health issues. Choose what works best for you and take the leap in expanding your family.
Also Read: Getting Pregnant in Your 30s Read more
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8 Ways to Help Your Children Develop a Positive Attitude Towards Life
As parents, we want our children to excel in all spheres of life. To succeed in life, one must have a positive attitude. If a child is confident and thinks positively, he can achieve anything he wants in life. There are many things you can do to encourage positive behaviour in children. Read this article to know how you can help your children develop a positive attitude.
Why Is It Important to Develop Positive Attitude in Children?
Having a positive attitude in life can help children overcome any problem in life. If a child thinks positively, he will be able to solve problems quickly and will learn to look at various aspects of life with positivity. A small setback can affect children negatively, but they should understand it is not the end of everything. If they remain positive in difficult situations, they will be able to come out of it quickly. Positivity can also make children resilient. You should not force your children to dismiss negative thinking or emotions but help them deal with these emotions and move on.
What Makes a Child Develop a Negative Attitude?
If you observe your child exhibiting negative behaviour, there are chances that he may be doing so because of the following issues:
If you have imposed too many restrictions on your child.
If you as a parent express too much negativity.
If you are overprotective.
If your child is suffering from psychological issues.
If there is a disturbed environment at home.
If a child experiences a lot of criticism then he may become negative in life.
Tips to Foster Positive Thinking in Children
Here are some ways that you can try to develop positive attitude in children.
1. Let them know that it is okay to express their feelings.
One of the most important ways to help your children embrace positivity in life is by letting them acknowledge their emotions. Be it sadness, happiness, fear, shame, anxiety or any other emotion, tell them that it is normal to be happy or sad at times. Once they learn to accept these feelings, there will be no room for negativity. If your child is unhappy or angry, ask him about his problem. Once he lets you know his problem and his feelings, make him understand that these clouds of negativity will pass. Tell him that he should try to look for solutions instead of worrying about the problem. This way he will understand that every problem has a solution. Your child will soon learn to look at things positively.
2. Be a role model.
Children learn a great deal from their parents. If you remain positive in life, your kids will develop the same attitude. You may not be aware, but your children observe your every action, feelings, and emotions. Slowly and gradually they start following whatever you think or believe. Show them that remaining positive in the face of adversity and everything that follows is possible and can be good. This will help them develop a positive attitude.
3. Encourage and motivate your kids.
If your children feel dejected or demotivated, encourage them to look at the positive things in life. Appreciate them when they succeed in something and do not scold them if they make mistakes. If ever your child misbehaves, do not scold him. Explain to him politely that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable and teach him how to correct his mistake. When you explain to children how to rectify their mistakes, you instil positivity in them.
4. Give them freedom.
It is important to exercise discipline in children, but at the same time, they must be given their freedom too. Sometimes, it is okay to let children do things in the manner they want. Let them pursue their dreams and desires.
5. Let your kids be surrounded by positive people.
The people we are friends with influence us greatly and if we are surrounded by positive people it impacts the way we perceive things too. Same holds true for a child; therefore, make sure your kiddo is in the company of happy and positive people.
6. Encourage them to talk about positive events.
It is good to learn about your child’s day, however, make sure you lay more emphasis on positive events rather than laying stress on the negative ones. Show them that positive events have the power to trump negative events. Encouraging them to focus on positive events and emphasizing on their importance will help them realize that a positive attitude towards daily incidents, in general, can give them a stress-free day. Ultimately, they'll lean more towards a positive attitude in life.
7. Teach morals and values to them.
A child, who knows what is right and wrong, turns out to be more positive in life than children who don’t, and this can happen when you teach morals and values to your child from the beginning. When your children know their values, they know that they are in the right. If they stick to morals and do the right thing, they will have no guilt, doubts, or regrets about wrong-doings. In the absence of fear, guilt and doubt, kids will find it easier to develop a positive attitude.
8. Encourage positivity through stories and games.
Positivity can be imbibed in children by narrating positive stories to them. You can also indulge your children in positive thinking activities and games. This way your child would learn valuable lessons in a fun way.
Having a positive attitude towards life can help children overcome any problem in life. We hope this article will help you instil positivity in children.
Also Read:
Tips to Discipline a Talkative Child
How Your Marital Relationship Teach Children About Love?
How to Control Super Competitive Kid Read more
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Socializing after Having a Baby - Challenges & Tips to Maintain Social Life
Once you have a child, he or she becomes the centre of your world while your social life tends to take a back seat. It is important not to let either side go and keep a balance between your child-rearing and your social life.
Importance of Social Life for New Parents
When a baby enters your life, it’s a joyful occasion but also a lonely and stressful period for most moms and dads, especially if they have always been socially active. Giving birth to a baby and the early stages of parenting are emotionally a rollercoaster ride. Having someone around to talk to, complain to or cry with during this period is a godsend for you as a parent.
What Challenges Can Parents Face while Trying to Socialize After Having a Baby?
You know having a baby will change your life. But did you know your existing friendships can also be affected? Here are a few challenges you have to be ready for:
1. Singles Effect
A new baby means fewer nights out with your single friends. They may stop calling you when they go out together thinking that you’re too busy or not interested to go out with them when you have a baby at home. Or maybe you might feel reluctant to call them thinking you may have less in common with them than before.
2. Spontaneity Will Be Less
You and your spouse may not be available for last minute movie or dinner plan like before. Even having friends drop by unexpectedly at your house during odd times will become difficult because you have a tiny baby to take care of. Whatever spare time you have will be spent either sleeping or relaxing. As a result, your friends might stop calling or coming home out of consideration for you.
3. Couples Effect
You and your partner might start being more interested in spending time with other couples who have babies, on account of common things to talk about. But don’t cut off your other friendships for this!
4. Free Advice
You might get irritated when each time you meet your friends, some of them give you too much unnecessary advice on parenting. You might want to meet them less if that is the case. But if you have friends who give your constructive advice, then they are a blessing and can be a strong support to you.
Impact on Social Life When Your Infant Hits Toddlerhood
Things will continue to change when your baby gets older. For example,
1. A Bigger Circle
Your baby will play with whichever friend you introduce him to in the beginning. He or she will get friendly with your friend’s children. But as they grow older, they will start to make friends of their own, and you may end up socialising with their friend’s parents. In this way, your friend circle will widen.
2. Competition
Your friendships with new and old friends may be affected once your kids start growing up. All parents want their child to be the smartest and fastest and best at school. This will create competition with your other friends who have children, and if you’re not careful, you may find yourself becoming a pushy parent.
Tips to Make Socialising Easy While Parenting a Newborn
Maintaining friendships after baby birth can be hard but still worthwhile in the long run. Here are tips on how to socialise while parenting a baby:
1. Accept Change
Once a baby comes in your life, you’ll be constantly sleep-deprived, tired or frustrated. You will end up losing some friends, or they may lose you. But don’t fret, there are plenty of new friends to make in the process.
2. Make Dates
It’s easy to make vague promises of when you’ll meet your friends and getting caught up taking care of your newborn and forgetting it. So program the date into your schedule, set reminders in your phone and tell your friends what time you will be free to meet them without activities like feeding your child or bathing him coming in the way.
3. Have Conversations
Once you have a baby, you may be too busy and miss out talking to your friends or returning their messages. Even if they may understand, this might cause a strain on your friendship. That’s why it is important to always communicate with a message or call that things are busy with you. Just short but constant communication can reassure them.
4. Just Relax
If some of your friends don’t seem as understanding or taken with your baby as you are, don’t take it personally. They may be going through problems of their own, so if they don’t seem supportive, just relax and let it slide. This will also help sustain your friendship.
5. Watch What You Say
Not everyone wants to continually hear you chatter about your baby, so talk about different things too in your conversation with friends.
6. Don’t Succumb to Pressure
If your friends pressure you to leave parenting to your partner, don’t listen. Jump in to do it yourself. Avoid such company at all costs.
7. Watch the Competition
You may be envious of your friends baby does something better than yours but stop that thought process immediately. Having such negative feelings towards your friends is not worth causing a row.
8. Take a Night Off
Leave your baby to your spouse for one night and hang out with your friends freely. This is the time you can use to really revive your friendships and get refreshed.
9. Include Your Kids
Think of activities you can do with your friends that they will like, even with your baby in tow. You can spend time both with your precious friend and your baby at the same time.
10. Join an Online Group
You can have a social life virtually too by connecting with like-minded parents on online parenting forums or social media groups.
Maintaining friendships after your little one arrives may require many adjustments, but will definitely be worth the time and effort.
Also Read: Should You Take Parenting Classes? Read more
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Delicious Breakfast Recipes With Oats
Oats have incredible nutrition. They are a good source of fibre, including the powerful fibre beta glucagon. They also contain more protein and antioxidants. They help to reduce blood pressure, control cholesterol and provide other many benefits for good health. I want to share my personal experience with you. After cesarean delivery, my weight increased. Then I started using a diet plan to decrease weight. Thus, I added oatmeal in my food chart. Oats recipes help lose weight and also increase breast milk production. Here are some oats recipes you can try.
Delicious Oats Recipes
1. Oats Dosa
Serving 3 to 5
Preparation time: 40 minutes
Cooking time: 5 to 10 minutes
Ingredients
Oats 3/4 cup
Rava 1/4 cup
Rice flour 1/2cup
Sour curd 1/2cup
Water as required
Few coriander leaves finely chopped
Onion 1 finely chopped
Salt to taste
Oil as required
How to make oats dosa
Grind oats in a mixer. Grind it well until it becomes a smooth powder.
Take a bowl and add oats powder, rice flour, rava, curd and salt. Mix it well.
Then add coriander leaves and onion to the mixture.
Add water as required and make perfect dosa batter. Keep aside.
Heat tawa and spread coconut oil to tawa.
Pour the batter from the edges towards the centre.
Add 1/2 tbsp coconut oil on the top.
Let it become golden crisp, and transfer to a plate. No need to cook the other side of dosa.
Prepare all the dosa in this way.
Oats dosa has to be served immediately, otherwise it becomes tough. Serve with coconut chatni.
2. Oats Puttu
Servings: 3 to 5
Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Ingredients
Oats powder (grind the oats to powder) 1 cup
Coconut 1/2 cup
Water as required
How to prepare
Take a large bowl and mix together oats powder and salt.
Add a little water in the bowl and mix again to make it slightly wet.
Take this mixture in a puttu mould and add the grated coconut. Fill the mix of the oats, add the coconut, add oats and finish with coconuts.
Steam for 8 minutes.
Serve with vegetable kuruma.
3. Oats Idli
Servings: 3 to 5
Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 10 to 15 minutes
Ingredients
Oats powder (grind the oats to powder) 1 cup
Rava 1/2
Curd 1cup
Water as required
Carrot grated 1/4 cup
Coriander leaves chopped 1/4 cup
Lime juice 1 tbsp
Salt to taste
How to make
Take a bowl and mix oats powder and rava.
Pour curd to the oats-rava mixture and mix it well.
Add carrot and coriander to the mix.
Add salt, lime juice and water. Make thick idli batter.
Consistency of batter should be smooth with no lumps
Cover the bowl and keep idli batter aside for 30 minutes
Add water to the idli steamer and let it heat.
Oil the idli moulds and add the batter to them.
Cook the Idli for 10 to 15 minutes.
Serve it with sambar and chatni.
4. Oats Utthapam
Servings: 3 to 5
Preparation time: 40 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Ingredients
Oats powder 1 cup (grind oats to powder)
Rava 1/2 cup (grind rava to powder)
Curd 1 cup
Oil 1 cup
Red chilli powder 1 tbsp
Soda bicarbonate 1 pinch
Green chilli 1 tbsp (chopped)
Onion 1 (finely chopped)
Yellow capsicum 2 tbsp (finely chopped, optional)
Tomato 1 (finely chopped)
Salt to taste
Water as required
Oil as required
Coriander leaves for garnish (chopped)
How to make
Take a bowl and add oats powder and rava powder to it. Mix it well.
Then pour the curd into oats-rava mix.
Add red chilli powder, chopped green chilli, onion, tomato, capsicum and coriander leaves to the mixture.
Add soda bicarbonate and salt to taste.
Add water as required to make a thick batter.
Keep aside for 30 minutes.
After 30 minutes, heat a non-stick pan and spread a little oil to the pan.
Then pour the batter to the pan spread a ladleful. (pour like pancake)
When it becomes golden brown, flip on the other side and cook.
Garnish with coriander and serve with veg kuruma.
5. Oats Upma
Servings: 3 to 5
Preparation time: 15 minutes
Coking time: 5 minutes
Ingredients
Oats 1 cup (easy cook oats)
Oil 2 tablespoon
Green chili chopped 1 tablespoon
Carrot grated 2 tablespoon
Onion 1 finely chopped
Salt taste
Turmeric powder 2 to
Water 1.5 cup
Curry leaves 2 spring
Mustard seeds 2 tablespoon
How to make
Dry roast oats on low flame for 5 minutes and keep aside.
Take a saucepan and add 2 tbsp oil. When it heats up, add mustard.
Add curry leaves to the pan sauté it.
Add finely chopped onion to the pan.
Add carrot and green chilli to the pan and sauté.
Add salt to taste, and turmeric powder.
Add 1.5 cup of water to the saucepan, cover and boil it for 5 to 10 minutes.
After boiling the water, roasted oats to the pan and cook for 3 to 5 minutes.
Serve immediately.
Try these recipes out!
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her.
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Sarika gupta has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
19 hours ago
Q. Am craving to have a burger at McDonald’s. Am 15 week pregnant.
Is it safe to have
Sarika gupta
Mom of 2 children
7 hours ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much and it is better to avoid this at this time and also if you want to eat burger then it is better to make it a home . Thanks and take care
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 6 months
18 hours ago
Q. It's my 12th week of pregnancy but last night I noticed some bleeding. So, my doctor prescribed Duphaston for 2 weeks. Is there anything to worry about? Please guide me.
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
18 hours ago
A. at present take rest and use medicines as advised by the doctor. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 3 months
12 hours ago
Q. I am 7 month pregnant with second baby I have severe abscess pain in armpit and buttocks pls tell me remedy for this ...Dr recommend antibiotics and ultracet pain tablet I have taken some doses of it but worried about the foetal development..does it hurt my baby
Read moreDr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
10 hours ago
A. You should have proper consultation with your treating doctor , as some examination or investigations may be needful, so that proper medications can be given And the treatment can be done very properly.
continue antibiotics regularly
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
6 hours ago
Q. Hello dr meri beti 6 days ki hai or use feed karwane ke bad nose or muh se milk bhar aa raha hai to aesa kyu kr rahi hai….me kya Dr ko dikhau kya???
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
6 hours ago
A. Hello dear parent! Keep your baby’s heart in a little elevated position while you’re breastfeeding. Burp your baby after every feed. Keep Babyhug tummy roll on handy. Consult your doctor for further assistance
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts how to reduce belly fat after pregnancy and skin was loose .two year passes but problem is persist.How can reduce it
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
6 hours ago
A. For weight loss diet is good in intermittent fasting a good and but if your body is loose or you feel you really do tighten up your body then gymming or yoga both the things are going to be very good both the things are going to be helpful in tightening up your body and muscles at the same time but it is time consuming we just have to have patience
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
5 hours ago
Q. my baby is one month old and have cold symptoms. can I consume buttermilk?
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
4 hours ago
A. yes u can further you can contact with your doctor and you can get thhje the solution for this by discussing with him he will guide you for more details if required .
Its always better to take the guidance by the concernged person with the geniune advice ...
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