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Why Should Parents Stop Comparing Their Child to Others
Comparison of a child is generally made with the intention of motivating the child to excel. But it produces a contradictory effect where the child feels low because it hurts the self- esteem. The spirit of competitiveness is good in a child but teaching them to be better than their counterparts can sometimes be counterproductive. It causes deep set emotional bruises which are difficult to heal. It results in aggression, antagonism, and resentment. All these qualities are detrimental to the gradual growth and progress of the students. This is the reason why parents need to be very careful.
Why Do Parents Compare Their Child to Others?
Every parent dreams to see the child accomplishing success in all the endeavours but little do they realise that this can never be achieved by comparing the child to many others. It is quite a prevalent practice for parents to make every possible effort to bolster the performance of the child. They feel that this will make the child enhance his learning and skills, but on the contrary, it mars the confidence level of the child.
What Parents Need to Understand Before Comparing Their Kids to Others
The sole reason why parents compare their child to others is to instigate the spirit of competition in their child. They feel that it is the right way to bring out the latent potential and capabilities in the child to excel over the others. The comparison is not the only driving force to enable the child to perform his best. They have to understand that each individual is unique and is blessed with different strengths. Their interest and talents bloom at a varied pace. If the parents constantly keep expressing their displeasure or unhappiness for their poor performance, it will break and not build their self- confidence. Some other points that parents need to understand are given below:
1. Each Child is Unique, and They Should be Thinking Individuals
Parents must spare some time to listen to their children. They must try to understand their thought process. As individual human beings, as soon as they learn to express their likes and dislikes, they should only be guided and not be influenced by their thoughts and opinion. Children should be allowed to think critically and take decisions on their own which is how they will develop mutual trust, respect, and love.
2. Children are Not Decorative Pieces
Children should not be treated as accessories by parents. They cannot be treated as an object to show off in social circles. By setting unrealistic goals, they tend to exploit their own children and bring disappointment for themselves and ruin the lives of their own kids. They should be treated with respect as independent individuals and need to be loved and understood.
3. Education is Not a Special Favour But a Right
Some parents think that they have done their child a favour by putting them in good and expensive schools. Acquiring education is a right of the child, and it is the responsibility of the parents to provide education to them. Parents should understand that the primary goal of the best education is to create responsible and self- reliant individuals and not qualify them for acquiring a job and earn money.
Negative Impacts of Child Comparison
Even when parents want to refrain from comparing their kids to others, they, unfortunately, end up doing it. Though it seems to be an inevitable human trait, parents need to restrain that impulse. Children do not respond well to negative criticism and comparison to others is even more debasing. The negative impact of comparison is as given below:
1. Increases Sibling Rivalry
If you as parent compare your child to the younger sibling, it will foster rivalry, and the child might then start teasing, fighting or hitting him and behave aggressively.
2. Starts Keeping Away
When a child is compared with his sibling, friend or cousins, he feels insecure and tries to maintain distance from you. It can also lead to behavioural or developmental problems later on as he matures.
3. It Suppresses Talents
When a child’s talent is not appreciated, and he is constantly compared to others, the child’s talent will not bloom and eventually lose the potential and talent both.
4. Leads to Carefree Attitude
If a child notices that others are appreciated more than him by his parents, then the child will feel ignored and then he will never try to please his parents.
5. Avoids Social Interactions
If your child receives constant ridicule and taunts from you, he will gradually start avoiding public interaction in your presence.
6. Diminishes Self–worth
The self-confidence of a child breaks when he is compared to other children. If the ‘good for nothing’ feeling creeps in, it will deteriorate the performance of the child even further.
7. Destroys Self Esteem
A child’s growth gets hampered when he starts believing that he is not capable enough to perform well. He will always think that he will never be able to match up the expectation of his parents.
8. Builds Stress
As a parent, you must not pressurise your child to perform and make him feel burdened. Think of solutions if there is anything bothering him by talking it out with him.
What are the Positive Comparison Approaches That Can Help Children?
Negative criticism is a detrimental factor for a child’s growth and development. Certain ways of positive comparison approach are given below:
1. Give Unconditional Love and Support
An appreciation in public will boost the morale of the child. The child should be spoken to respectfully and given a lot of love and support.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Do not commit the mistake of setting unrealistic goals for your child. Always try to understand the inherent potential of your child and help him to excel in his field of interest.
3. Appreciate the Strengths
Whatever task your child does well should be appreciated generously. Liberal appreciation will help the child gain confidence to face the world.
4. Help Your Child to Cope With His Weakness
If you know about your child’s weak areas, you must support and help him so that he is able to overcome it. Though it is not easy, it can be achieved with unconditional support and motivation.
5. Do not Compare, Rather Set Benchmarks
If you set realistic benchmarks rather than criticising your child, he will improve his performance. At this stage building, confidence and self-worth are of utmost importance.
The trait of comparing and competing is more common among parents than children. The undue pressure of performance is most degrading for a child and produces a negative outcome. You must not rob the joy out of your child’s life and allow him the space to grow and prove his own merit. No one is perfect encompassing excellence in all the fields of performance is it sports or academics. Hence the only thing which helps is positive comparison approaches
Also Read:
How to Support Your Kid After Trauma
How to Deal With Anti-Social Behaviour in Children
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The Day a Baby is Born, a Mother is Also Born
Yes, it's not only a baby who's born; on the day the baby comes into the world, a mother is also born. A girl who did not know anything about parenting, who couldn't handle other children for even an hour, naturally learns to manage and handle her own baby. There's no training needed to become a mother; when you first see your baby, at that moment, you'll come to know all about motherhood. Pregnancy is beautiful but more beautiful is the moment after delivery. I delivered my baby through C-section. In an operation theatre, it was quite horrible until I heard the crying sound of my baby. But I got to see my baby only after 3 days because it was a C-section. That was a moment when I forgot all my pains and worries. In these two months, every moment with my baby is just adorable, it can't be expressed in words. For all the would-be mothers out there, congrats to you and get ready for the roller-coaster journey of motherhood. When you eat will depend on your baby's timetable, and you'll sleep when your baby is napping. Your life would simply revolve around your baby, you won't have time to use WhatsApp and your other social media; but still, it is the most precious time for me and for all the mothers out there.
After I conceived, I used to be very careful about walking and eating. I ate the sort of stuff which I never imagined I would eat, like apples and pomegranates. After my delivery, doctors prescribed for me medications for a month which I'd always forget to take. But when I was pregnant I used to take all my medicines on time. It's like you care for your baby far more than anything. It's just not a 9-month-long journey; motherhood is the journey of a lifetime for all women.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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My Counting Seconds to See My Baby and She Was Waiting for Me
My baby's birth story is like a thriller movie with all suspense, chills but with a happy ending. I had a complicated pregnancy. Advised bed rest because of previous miscarriage. I had to resign from my job. Only my husband was there during my difficult time of pregnancy. I had bleeding in the 13th week of pregnancy, I was scared but the baby was fine. In the 24th week, I had to undergo cervical stitch as my cervix was dilating.
On the night of April 30th, I couldn't have dinner. There were menstrual period-like cramps at around 8 pm. I was not sure what pain it was. It was my 32nd week of pregnancy. My due date was June 14th. The whole night I couldn't sleep. I had read about the delivery pain which will occur with time intervals. So, I started to check time intervals. My pain was occurring in intervals. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't wake my husband as he was in deep sleep. I walked around the house for a while. It was a very mild pain. Then I woke my husband up at 7 am and called my doctor and informed her. She told me to come to the hospital.
My younger sister had planned to visit me as she had a holiday on May 1st. We all went to the hospital. With some ultrasound and machine check-up, it was made sure that it was delivery pain. As it was the 32nd week, my doctor wanted to postpone my delivery and as a precautionary measure, an injection was given to develop lungs. My pain reduced and I was under observation till May 2nd. The doctor advised discharge from hospital and complete bed rest at home. We were just getting ready to leave the hospital and again pain started.
So, back to the hospital bed. On May 2nd night, my baby's movement was too much in my stomach. I got worried but the nurse said it's fine and that I should inform her if there is no movement. It was May 3rd. I woke up the next morning and observed there was no movement, got shivering and my sister called the nurse. Then the whole nursing staff came running and observed my baby's breathing on the monitor. Actual reading should be maximum 120, but it was 170,190. Then Doctor came running and said "emergency delivery".
I didn't know what to do. I was in shock. I looked at my husband. He was also blinking. My mother in law said, "Pray to God, everything will be good." I was happy that I will see my baby soon and I will be holding her in my arms. I was so tensed about how she will be like. I never had negative thoughts even for a second. The nurse told me not to get tensed as it might effect my baby. I went into the operating room with a smile and a calm heart.
I was given anesthesia and in 10 minutes, my baby was delivered. I thought they will show my baby to me but she was rushed to another room. Her crying was not loud and she was grunting. I asked the doctor whether everything was fine. She said everything is fine and it's a girl.
I was kept in the observation room and my baby was in NICU. Then, it was observed that my baby's breathing was not normal. She was shifted to another hospital. I was in one hospital and she was in another. My husband was with her and my sister with me. It took so many hours for me to gain consciousness and my chills to stop. I was under too much pain.
The doctor said that my baby will be brought back soon. I was just waiting. Then the next day evening, the doctor said that her breathing is not consistent, she has to be still in another hospital. I had not cried till then but I was out of control. I was shattered. It was already 24 hours since delivery and I had not seen my little girl. I cried and cried and requested the doctor to shift me to the same hospital. She said to wait till the next day. My heart was breaking and God only knows how much my heart was aching to see my baby. After 48 hours of observation, I was discharged from that hospital and shifted to the same hospital where my baby was there. I was just counting minutes to see her. When we reached NICU, my heart was beating so fast. We entered inside, she was plugged with so many tubes and was sleeping like an angel. I couldn't hold her in arms but I touched her tiny feet and hands. She held me tight as if she was waiting for me. I told her to open your eyes baby, your mama and dadda are here. She just gave a smile and I cried holding my husband.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Best Christmas Slime Recipe for Kids
Get into the spirit of Christmas by making a lot of homemade slime with your children! This is a brilliant holiday-themed activity that kids would love and is an excellent opportunity to feel excited about the holidays! Christmas slimes are not just for decorations; they also make great homemade gifts that your loved ones would love to receive!
Top Christmas Slime Recipes for Children
Slime is a fun activity that is also incredibly simple to prepare. Take a look at these simple Christmas slime ideas that you'll need this season!
1. Holiday Scented Christmas Tree Slime
Let the kids use their imagination and decorate the trees with this creative holiday-scented Christmas tree slime this winter! The best thing about this slime idea is that you could add in essential oils with any of your favorite fragrances that bring you the joy of Christmas!
Ingredients
Clear glue (5 oz.)
Water (1/2 cup)
Green candy color (paint and food coloring will also work)
Green glitter
Pine essential oil
Contact solution (1 tbsp)
Baking soda (1/2 tsp)
Pom poms
Steps
Take a bowl and pour all the clear glue you took for the craft.
Pour the water into the bowl and stir well until the glue and water are well blended. Warm water might make it easier to mix things together.
Put a few drops of food color or green candy color until you feel the slime has the same color as the tree. Then add one or two drops of pine essential oil.
Put some green glitter (you can mix fine and chunky glitter) into the mix and stir well.
Add the baking soda to the mixture somewhere around ½ tsp based on how thick you want the slime to be.
Pour in 1 tbsp of contact solution but ensure that it contains boric acid since this determines the slime stays sticky.
Knead the slime properly and keep kneading until the slime is not very sticky. Add some pom poms of various colors since these can act as the ornaments of the tree.
Finally, store the slime in an airtight container.
2. Glittery Grinch Slime
Get your Christmas party started by making some Glittery Grinch Slime with your kids!
Ingredients
Clear glue (5 oz)
Water (1/2 cup)
Baking soda (1/2 tsp)
Green food coloring
Contact solution (1 tbsp)
Green glitter
Small bowl
Red heart charm
Airtight container
Steps
Pour the clear glue into a bowl and add in the water you have taken for the activity.
Add a few drops of green food color and stir the combination well. Put in the baking soda, add the green glitter, and then store it well.
Once the mixture is stirred well, add in the contact solution and mix it well. The slime would start coming together.
Knead the slime properly and make sure it is not sticky anymore. Finally, add in a heart charm if available and store it into an airtight container.
3. Stretchy Christmas Tree Slime
Get creative with your stretchy slime by adding in all the confetti you want of different shapes!
Ingredients
Clear glue (1 cup)
Contact lens solution (2-3 tbsp)
Baking soda (1/2 tsp)
Confetti sprinkles
Mix bowl
Steps
Pour the baking soda and the glue into the large mixing bowl and mix the mixture well.
Add in a few drops of the contact lens that contain a saline solution and stir the mixture well.
Knead the mixture well until it stops being sticky.
Add in confetti sprinkles of various designs of your choice and have your own personalized Christmas themes slime!
4. Elf on the Shelf Slime
Have some fun with your slime and include various characters of Christmas with this Elf on the Shelf slime recipe!
Ingredients
Baking soda (1/2 tbsp)
Contact lens solution (1 ½ tbsp)
Clear glue (16 oz)
Green glitter (1 tbsp)
Large bowl
Green food coloring (2 tsp)
Mason jar
Spatula
Steps
Take the large bowl and combine the clear glue and the baking soda.
Knead the mixture well and then put in some contact solution.
Mix well with the spatula until the mixture does not feel sticky.
Add in some food color and then enough glitter till the slime looks good.
Mix the combination well. You could even add in some pom poms and store the slime in a glass mason jar.
Place the mason jar along with pretty elf toys near your tree!
5. Peppermint Scented Slime
Ever wanted to try and make slime that smells like Christmas? Then check out this Peppermint Scented Slime this season!
Ingredients
Clear glue (16 oz)
Liquid starch (1 cup)
Peppermint essential oil (3- 5 drops)
Raspberry pink acrylic paint
Lime green acrylic paint
Light pink acrylic paint
Steps
Pour the clear glue with a few drops of the peppermint essential oil into a large bowl and mix them,
Slowly add the liquid starch, stir well while it is being added. When the slime pulls away from the sides, divide it into three equal parts in separate smaller bowls.
Add lime green paint to one bowl, light pink to the second, and the raspberry pink paint to the third bowl, and mix these slimes separately.
Once the mixtures are set properly, the three slimes can be positioned next to each other in three strips to look like peppermint ribbon candy! However, note that these colors will eventually mix once you start using them together and playing.
You could even add various colors to make other things like candy cane slime.
6. Melting Snowman Slime
Not every place in the world is lucky enough to see snow, so why not bring snow into your home with a melting Snowman slime.
Ingredients
White glue (1/2 cup)
Water (1/2 cup)
Baking soda (1/2 tsp)
Saline solution (1 tbsp)
Googly eyes
Foam carrot noses
Buttons
Foam ball
Steps
Mix the white glue and water in a large bowl and stir well.
Add in the ½ tsp of baking soda to this mixture and mix the combination well. The baking soda keeps the slime a bit firm, so you can always increase or reduce the amount according to that.
Add in the saline solution and stir the combination well. Mix well until the mixture is not sticky anymore. You can always add more saline solution if the solution still feels sticky.
Knead well and store the solution in an airtight container.
Finally, apply the slime to the desired location, place it in the foam head that will serve as the snowman's head, and connect all of the other elements.
7. Snowflake Slime
Take the charm of the snowflake into your home with this beautiful snowflake slime!
Ingredients
Clear glue (5 oz)
Liquid starch (5 oz)
Warm water (5 oz)
Snowflake confetti
Spoon and bowl
Measuring cup
Steps
Pour the clear glue into the bowl and add in some warm water. Mix both of these ingredients well until they have blended properly.
Next, add the snowflake confetti pieces to the mixture. You could go for white and blue snowflakes based on what colors you want your snowflake slime to be.
Now, pour the liquid starch you have kept aside for this activity entirely into the bowl and stir it well with a spoon.
Mix the ingredients well until the slime gets a bit thicker.
You can add polar animals like penguins and polar bear mini toys for the decoration part, along with the slime!
8. Elf Snot Slime
Give your boring old gift cards a fun little twist by sticking them in Elf Snot this year!
Ingredients
Clear glue (5 oz)
Baking soda
Neon green food coloring gel
Contact solution
Mason jar
Steps
Combine the clear glue and the food color in a bowl and blend it well using a spatula. You could even use gel food color instead of a liquid one to keep the liquid ratio right.
Once both the ingredients have blended well, you could sprinkle in some baking soda and mix well until all the lumps of the powder are gone.
Next, add in a few drops of contact solution to convert your sticky slime into something playable.
Mix the combination well until the slime is not sticky anymore, and place it in a small transparent mason jar!
9. Santa Slime
Make your Christmas merrier with beautiful Santa slime!
Ingredients
Liquid starch (1-2 cups)
Red glitter glue (2 cups)
Cinnamon extract
Red glitter
Large glue
Steps
Pour the red glitter glue into a bowl and add in some extra glitter for some sparkle.
You could pour in a few drops of cinnamon extract a little to add in the fragrance of the season!
Mix the combination well and add in some liquid starch until you get the desired consistency.
Once the slime begins to form, knead the mixture well using your hands.
Make this Christmas extra special with these easy-to-prepare and delicious recipes that you may use all year. So prepare to have a good time with some homemade slime!
Also Read:
Butter Slime Recipes for Children
Slime Recipes Without Borax for Children
Gooey-Wooey Slime Party Ideas for Children Read more
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Boredom is an important aspect of growing up. You don't have to be the clown always!
Many times we come across situations where we run out of ideas to entertain our children. That's OK! Realise this, you are not born for the sake of entertainment. Not to sound fussy, but this is a very important aspect of a child's growth and development. We need to let them run out of ideas for their entertainment so that they can think and develop creative skills in themselves and by themselves.
Every child is unique and their minds work in mysteriously amazing ways. Let your child figure out new ways of doing things. It might get pretty messy at times, but yes they will surely be more connected with their minds and with time they will develop their creativity.
A child might get fussy initially, but that's okay. Eventually, they try to figure out ways to end this boredom. Do not give in to their tantrums. Letting them explore the ways to get over boredom doesn't mean that we can let them watch screens. It won't be as helpful as an open environment would be.
The level of exploration is the bare minimum for screens whereas when you give the child an opportunity to observe the world and the surroundings closely they tend to develop better concentration and understanding of nature. That way we are giving their brains a chance to observe and question the existence of everything around us.
Education nowadays is demanding our children to become independent and creative learners. The primary stage of learning starts from home. This is step one to prepare our children to face the competition and pace of the world.
Let them do their thing in their lone times or boring times, but yes, needless to say, 'we just have to look out for their safety and of the people around them.
Let us make a difference! Read more
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
17 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert hi this is Sarika here . my question is how to encourage my baby to latch because he get irritated whenever I try to latch him
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
17 hours ago
A. It’s very important that when you ask a question please provide us the age of the child currently I would say that if your child is unable to latch properly so whenever you’re feeding Press your breast with your hands for the feeding of the milk is better because the milk flow is going to be better and hopefully that you do the trick
Mohammad amin has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. my baby have gastric problem..
Mohammad amin
Guardian of a 2 yr 11 m old boy
6 hours ago
A. use colimex df drops
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 1 month
6 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts red scretch marks
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
6 hours ago
A. You can mix coconut oil and Kapoor together and that is what you can apply regularly want to your stretch marks is one of the best options that you can use currently other than that also I would recommend you that if you feel any kind of a burning sensation or irritation then you can have a word with your gynaecologist
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. left side pain kyu hota h
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. many times and the most common cause would be due to accumulation of milk clots and sometimes it can be neurogenic pain and sometimes it might be a partx any local mass like lymph nodes or tissue pain.
if it is not improving with simple massage as well as simple hot compressesx and expression of accumulated milk then meet your doctor at the earliest for local examination.
you can take paracetamol for pain.
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
1 hour ago
Q. I got chicken pox in my 8th week..it's just started how I can deal with it?
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
1 hour ago
A. Hello dear! Chicken pox during pregnancy is a matter of concern. Consult your doctor for personal evaluation and seek medical advice. Maintain a good personal hygiene routine and follow your doctor’s advice. Good luck and take care
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. is sesame seeds healthy in 37th week of pregnancy
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. Yeah that’s totally good to n eaten but in moderation so u can have rest u can check with your Gyn in case of any doubt so u can make sure about it as what u know it’s not a problem so b sure about it with your doc
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