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Pros and Cons of Having a Third Child
Having a single child in the family seems relatively easy, two make for good company but three- it might turn into your worst nightmare. Or maybe it won't. "Should I have a 3rd baby?" is what you may be thinking.
But if you're curious and want to know what it feels like, we have you covered. Let's delve into the pros and cons as we explore some of the lifestyle changes you'll get to experience after you welcome that third member. Here's to having a third at child at 35 and beyond.
What Life Changes Can You Anticipate Once You will Have a Third Child?
Your whole world changes when you have a third baby. Okay, we don't want to sound so dramatic, but yes - you'll have more responsibilities. Have a third baby or not, here's what you can expect with three or more kids in the house:
1. You Have More Household Chores
From doing the dishes to laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning the house, your household chores rack up in the numbers department. Having a third child is like signing up for a Spartan Warrior Bootcamp and hey - it's not easy.
2. Your Kids Get More Attention
If you're young parents and are thinking of having a third child, here's the newsflash - you may go outside the picture. Not kidding. If your other two children are young and your third one is at the age of 5 or below, you'll have to give the younger one more attention. And the other two may notice that and want a piece each too.
3. Movie Nights Aren't The Same
Have two kids fought out on which movie to watch? Your third child will be their tie-breaker and help decide what title gets played.
4. Your House Gets Noisy
If your younger kids are quiet or shy, you might have it easy. But sometimes having a third child may throw things out of the loop and be bustling with excitement. This means more noises, crying, screaming, and head-scratching. But it also means you get your equal shares of smiles, laughter, and those adorable faces that make hearts melt.
5. More Food, More Supplies
It's pretty obvious. Having a third kid in the house equals more food and more supplies. This also means financially you might get a bit tight if you haven't planned it out. Look at your finances and see if you can afford to have another child in the house. We're not mean, just realistic. The economy you live in matters too - if you have a third child in India, it might be cheaper than having one in places like US or UK.
6. Asking for Help
Having a third kid to take care of equals more responsibility. The most significant lifestyle change would be asking for help. Sometimes parents find it challenging to juggle responsibilities and hesitate to ask for help when things go awry. But you'll find yourself not waiting and will ask for help from family and friends. It's just life.
7. Added Responsibility
Having a third child does equal more responsibility or an increase in it. You're literally caring for, sheltering, and feeding another human being. You'll find yourself budgeting more aggressively too and being mindful of the things you spend money on. For example, you might cut out cable and use the internet for shows instead of blowing money there. Or you may realise saying goodbye to that Netflix subscription you never use.
8. Time Crunches
Yes. Your life will be busy. If you've been getting a lot of free time in your hands, you won't find that to be the case after your third. You'll find your personal time slipping away and your clock ticking. But it's not always the case when you have friends and relatives for the added support.
What are the Pros of Having the Third Baby?
Here are a few pros of having a third baby:
1. There's Energy in The House
If your home is waning or seeming a bit too quiet with just two kids, having a third one may just do the trick. Sometimes this energy becomes infectious, and life goes from dull to fun. Moms can vouch for this one.
2. Your House Stays Guarded
When you teach your kids to trust each other and watch their backs, you'll find that your kids take care of each other and stay close. There's a close bond that forms and your house feels protected. You'll notice the siblings supervising and watching the younger ones back and vice versa.
3. More Pizza Nights
Because, hey - who doesn't love pizza? We're serious about this. And ordering one pie won't cut it, you'll actually need four to five pies because it'll be a feast.
4. You Share Responsibility
Yes, it does get busy in the initial years, but once your kids start understanding and grow older, like around seven to ten, they might ask for more responsibilities. We've seen four-year-olds folding clothes and seven-year-olds taking out the trash. So yes, your work does get cut out a bit, not only as a bonus side effect. This pro isn't always the case for every household though.
5. You Have More Fun
The more, the merrier, they say: it's right in this case. You'll have a lot of fun when it comes to visiting amusement parks, eating out, and celebrating birthday parties in style. Plus, your kids never feel lonely, and you don't have to hunt for playdates since they're like friends in the house. It's a cool lifestyle once you make it work.
What Are The Cons of Having the Third Baby?
Everything's not glittery or sunshine and rainbows when it comes to having a third baby. Here are some of the downsides or cons of it:
1. You Don't Get Time for Self-Care
If you get busy attending to a gassy baby or finding out that young ones need more pasta ASAP, you won't get the me-time you want. Self-care is essential since you want to exercise, meditate and stay your very best day by day. But sometimes life gets in the way, and you won't be able to make the time for that.
You might even have even to stop working and put in more hours for mom time, in some cases. But being a stay-at-home mom (or dad) and looking after your kids isn't something some parents prefer but it's a sacrifice that turns into a necessity.
2. Your Sleep Schedules Goes Out of the Window
Yes, it does. If you have a third child screaming at 2 am asking for more food - guess who's going to do that? It's parenting 101 but taken to another stage. Get ready to take more naps and say goodbye to long hours of snoozes.
3. It Gets More Stressful
According to a Mom Survey at Today, research says that having a third child is more stressful than two or four. Because of science. And if you like numbers, you're welcome.
What sort of stress? Siblings fighting, maybe kids receiving complaints from school and the endless parent-teacher meetings. Also, you'll have to pack their lunches and keep tabs on if they come back on time before curfew (depending on where you live).
4. Lack of Homely Space
This isn't the case with every household but if your apartment is cramped up or if you've got less room, having a third kid might be a bad idea. Kids love space, the freedom to move and do things the way they want. Don't give them that because you're financially tight and they won't understand.
Because kids will be kids and that's how it is.
5. Sharing Stuff
If you love to go out shopping with your kids, you'll find that you can't hold three hands. It does feel sad, but one of your kids will have to compromise. The same goes for video games. Your kids may fight over who gets to play the videogame, and you might witness some home wars in action. But don't worry, it's fun. Especially if you like pillow fights.
They say having a third child can change your life, and although we believe that's true, we certainly don't believe in falling for the hype. Having a third child will give you more responsibility and joy, in odd proportions. But it's about what works for you and your partner.
If you feel you have what it takes to take life on ahead, then go for it. Otherwise, be happy with two kids for now and bring up the subject later when the time is ripe. That's all we have to say or our three favourite words: keep it realistic.
Also Read:
Advantages and Disadvantages of Having One Child
Why the Arrival of Second Child is Amazing
Terrible Reasons to Have a Baby Read more
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Answering The What's That Question In Toddlers
A 22-month-old toddler asking 'why' can leave his mom distraught and wondering ‘Why me?’ But instead of losing your cool, understand why toddlers seem to question just about anything and everything they see and hear. Maybe they're just learning how to talk, or maybe they want attention.
Every day, and even at bed time, your child wants to know why daddy sings out loud while having his bath. He also wants to know why the dog is rolling on its back. So many questions put on repeat! What does it all mean?
The Reasons Behind Toddlers Asking Questions
1. Want Of Attention
As a mom who’s always eager to satisfy her toddler’s curious queries, you obviously leave what you’re doing and answer. Your kid knows that by constantly throwing questions at you, he will get your attention and a good response as well. He craves meaningful exchanges that will make him draw you away from your computer, cooking, or the laundry, just to be at his side.
2. Receives Better Responses
A 22-month-old baby has a restricted vocabulary of about 20 words. As such, he starts speaking when he realises that some words flow through easily while others are tough to articulate. Moreover, some terms in his treasury of words such as ’why’ or ‘what’ end up getting a better reply than a firm ‘no’ or ‘yes’. Under the circumstances, your ‘in-the-making communicator’ would love to throw a volley of questions your way to initiate exciting conversations. Just smile and go with the flow!
3. How Many Questions Does a Child Ask A Day?
There no way of predicting how many times the same or new questions are liable to fall on your ears across the day! So, even though you may feel rattled and on the verge of pulling your hair, take a step back and relax. Understand why your toddler asks ‘why’ or ‘what’ all the time. He’s just wondering about the things and people that he observes in his environment. Exercise patience and answer as many questions as you must, without stifling his curiosity.
4. Why Do Kids Ask Why?
Sometimes, it takes a little while for new information to get absorbed into the mind of a 22-month-old toddler. Hearing his parents give the same answers time and again can help drive unfamiliar concepts home. It helps him to better understand the meaning of the words he uses and hears, be it while trying to converse with his parents or siblings.
5. Why Do Toddlers Keep Asking Repetitive Questions?
They find comfort in repeating, rewinding and replaying questions. It’s just a way of seeking emotional support and acknowledgement. One way of dealing with repetitive questions is to ask him the same to see if he has answers of his own. It may not be anything related to the questions asked, but at least he’ll start thinking about it and will try to make a connection.
The number of questions toddlers ask can be numerous! Don’t shy away from answering them. Take a moment to think of the best possible answers that will satisfy your baby’s inquisitive mind. Read more
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When Can You Let Visitors Hold Your Newborn Baby?
Newborns are so delicate, and parents often wonder when the right time is to allow visitors to hold their babies. The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby.
Things to Keep in Mind before Letting Visitors Hold the Baby
Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby:
If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she wash their hands well before doing so. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not yet fully functional.
Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. Third-hand smoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first and second-hand smoke.
Sick people should not hold your baby. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding.
Do not let others kiss your newborn as people can carry bacteria or virus in their throats even without showing symptoms.
As you do not yet know if your baby has allergies or sensitivities, ask that others do not wear strong cologne or perfumes if they want to hold the baby.
If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. She may need to be changed or fed, or simply needs your comfort after being handled by people she doesn’t know.
If possible, do not allow others to handle your baby for too long as your little one may become over stimulated, and they will need their rest.
How to Tell Visitors Politely to Keep their Hands Off Your Baby
A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody.
1. Post on Social Media
Today, social media is everything. Make a polite post on either Facebook or Instagram letting people know the few guidelines you would like them to follow when visiting you.
2. Wear Your Baby
Yes, you read right; wear your baby. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. This is may just be the best way to keep all hands off the baby.
3. Stick A-List
Whether it is on the room to the hospital door, or even your home, make sure to post a list of do’s and don’t for visitors to follow when visiting baby.
Visiting boundaries is a rather sensitive topic as no new parent wants to offend the people who want to share in their joy at the birth of their precious child. However, newborns do not yet have a very developed immune system, and so it is wise for parents to be careful of how many people touch the little one.
Also Read: How to Hold an Infant Properly? Read more
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Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
18 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert hi this is Sarika here . my question is how to encourage my baby to latch because he get irritated whenever I try to latch him
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
18 hours ago
A. It’s very important that when you ask a question please provide us the age of the child currently I would say that if your child is unable to latch properly so whenever you’re feeding Press your breast with your hands for the feeding of the milk is better because the milk flow is going to be better and hopefully that you do the trick
Mohammad amin has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
8 hours ago
Q. my baby have gastric problem..
Mohammad amin
Guardian of a 2 yr 11 m old boy
7 hours ago
A. use colimex df drops
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 1 month
8 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts red scretch marks
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
8 hours ago
A. You can mix coconut oil and Kapoor together and that is what you can apply regularly want to your stretch marks is one of the best options that you can use currently other than that also I would recommend you that if you feel any kind of a burning sensation or irritation then you can have a word with your gynaecologist
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
4 hours ago
Q. left side pain kyu hota h
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
4 hours ago
A. many times and the most common cause would be due to accumulation of milk clots and sometimes it can be neurogenic pain and sometimes it might be a partx any local mass like lymph nodes or tissue pain.
if it is not improving with simple massage as well as simple hot compressesx and expression of accumulated milk then meet your doctor at the earliest for local examination.
you can take paracetamol for pain.
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
3 hours ago
Q. I got chicken pox in my 8th week..it's just started how I can deal with it?
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
3 hours ago
A. Hello dear! Chicken pox during pregnancy is a matter of concern. Consult your doctor for personal evaluation and seek medical advice. Maintain a good personal hygiene routine and follow your doctor’s advice. Good luck and take care
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
2 hours ago
Q. is sesame seeds healthy in 37th week of pregnancy
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
46 mins ago
A. yes you can have but limited .
During pregnancy it is always advisable to have your normal routine foods and include more of sprouted grains along with green leafy vegetables and adequate water intake which helps maintain good health
Do have regular daily walking
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