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Aggression in Children - Reasons and Tips to Handle It
Pure dread takes over your heart when you see your child throw a gigantic fit in a public place. You as parents could feel completely flummoxed and may not know how to deal with your aggressive child. Aggression is fairly common in children between the age of 3-8 and in teenagers (due to a variety of changes both intrinsic and extrinsic occurring in their lives). They can occur in many forms of verbal aggression such as screaming, shouting incessantly, etc. It can even get physical, where the child kicks, hits, spits, pinches adults around him. It can get very difficult for parents to deal with such behaviour on a day to day basis.
Wisdom lies in knowing why aggression manifests and how to nip the situation in the bud when it does. There are quite a few tricks that one can employ as parents to deal with violent moods of children, and we break it down for you here.
What Causes Aggressive Behaviour in Kids?
Aggression can be caused in children due to a variety of reasons. As parents, it is good to break down the situation and understand what your child is dealing with internally in order to take quick, good decisions. Sometimes aggression can also arise because it is beyond the child's capabilities to solve a complex problem and that can lead them to become frustrated and nervous. If you are feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to comprehend how to tame your violent child, then getting to the bottom always helps. Maybe discuss with your partner and figure out how to handle the situation. Meanwhile, also try and interpret the reasons for this kind of a behaviour.
1. Impulsive Behaviour
Your child is extraordinary in their behaviour and many times they act spontaneously without reason or logic. For those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and any other learning disorders, bad logic and impulsive behaviour can be mistaken for aggression. Children are often unaware of the significance of their actions.
2. Trauma
If your child is sulking or behaving differently it could also be a result of a traumatic incident at school or home. Maybe your child is getting bullied at school or has suffered abuse in some form. If the occurrences become frequent, there is an underlying issue at hand. They could also be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD).
3. Conduct Disorder
If your child is exhibiting antisocial behaviour and is acting out, it could be because of conduct disorder. It can become a serious emotional disorder that needs to be dealt with as soon as it’s identified. This is mainly because kids who suffer from this premeditate their negative actions and behaviour.
4. Psychosis
According to psychology, this is a serious mental disorder where emotions and thoughts are so impaired that individuals cannot deal with reality. This is the case for schizophrenic children who cannot comprehend their violent reactions. They are not aware of their surroundings in this case and have entered a state of psychosis and behave differently.
5. Mood Disorder
A mental disorder that makes individuals oscillate between aggression, depression and leads to maniacal outbursts. This is a case when it comes to children who have any form of bipolar disorder. Children who suffer from this lose self-control and become irritable and angry very quickly. These kids can then lash out in a physical or verbal manner.
6. Pure Frustration
If you have a hyperactive child and he becomes restless, and there is no outlet for his energy then he can get frustrated and throw tantrums. This could also be the case in children who have autism or intellectual impairment and get anxious or annoyed and do not know how to verbally communicate their feelings.
7. Injury
Sometimes when kids have a serious injury, they can have aggressive outbursts due to their frontal lobe being damaged. Sometimes aggression is noticed in some types of epilepsy as well. Any form of an upset in the physical health of a child such as if he/she is in constant pain could lead to outbursts.
8. Environmental Factors
If the situation at home is not conducive and a child has witnessed a dysfunctional relationship between family members, it could also contribute to aggressive behaviour. The triggers for this type of aggression could range from socio-economic to school issues. If your child is having difficulty with bullies in school or they are unable to concentrate on school work, this frustration and helplessness that builds up can also be a factor.
How to Handle Childhood Aggression of Your Kid?
When you are managing aggressive behaviour in children, it can get very infuriating to deal with it day in and out, leaving you exhausted. However, there are always ways to work around it and teach your children some good behaviour. Here are a few ways:
1. Lead by Example
Whenever you start to get angry with your kid for their volatile behaviour, calm yourself down by counting to 10. Be calm yourself and then lead by example by telling them that throwing tantrums and being physically or verbally abusive will not get them what they want. Maintain an even temperament throughout and do not give into the situation.
2. Create Time-Out
When your kid acts out, one good parenting technique to adhere to is to create a ‘time-out’. When they throw a fit, start by telling them in a calm voice that this will not work and tell them that they are getting a ‘time-out’ to deal with their own emotions. Repeat as many times as necessary and set a pattern in place. This will encourage your child to behave well when required and know that when they behave badly, there is a ‘time-out’ waiting for them by the end of it.
3. Teach Self-control
Self-control is an important lesson that will be useful to everyone even after they grow up. Exercise self-restraint and teach your kid not to kick or hit when they are angry. While parenting an aggressive child, this proves to be a great technique. All children do have the innate ability to control themselves, so remind them of it.
4. Discourage ‘Tough’ Syndrome
It is not okay to be ‘tough’ or to ‘toughen up’ when it comes to a difficult situation. Teach your kid not to be a bully or to suck it up when things are not working in their favour. Instead, explain things to them from a place of calmness. Encourage sharing and being okay with being vulnerable, or weak. Tell your child: it's okay to not know how to deal with your feelings, but it is not okay to become aggressive when you reach that point. Encourage dialogue rather than outbursts.
5. Do Not Resort to Violence
Disciplining your kids with physical violence is not acceptable as you are setting a benchmark for them by spanking or hitting. They will believe it is okay to resort to it, if necessary to avoid this at all costs.
6. Create a Safe Environment
Instead of stifling the aggressive behaviour, create a nurturing healthy way for your child to express their anger or any negative feelings. Tell them to understand their feelings and where they're coming from and give creative ways to express these emotions. Some of the things they can do instead are to go out and play, paint or pick up a skill.
7. Praise Good Behaviour
Perhaps the most important way to handle an aggressive child is to encourage them when they showcase good behaviour. When they have done something right in a tough situation, praise them and instil in them that non-violence is always the best thing to do.
8. Set Boundaries
When it comes to dealing with an aggressive child, get to the root of the problems and discuss things in a calm and collective manner. Tell them that certain things are unacceptable such as hitting, spitting or kicking and it will be given a ‘time-out’ if things get pushy.
9. Reprimand Immediately
Take swift action such as scolding the child in a stern voice and explaining things to them immediately after an incident occurs. Do not under any circumstances bring up the past and admonish them later for an act that way done a while back.
10. Showcase a United Front
As parents, you must always show yourself as a team when it comes to dealing with bad behaviour. Both parties need to say and do the same thing and give no room for the child to manipulate one parent over another. Be a cool duo when it comes to addressing aggression and also control your own anger in front of them.
Patience and a certain amount of authority are your greatest allies when it comes to handling aggressive children. With time, their attitude will improve, and you will be able to bring about some real changes in their lives.
Also Read: Parents Fighting Impact on Kids Read more
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5 Simple Ways to Switch Your Kids to a Big-Kid Cup
Nutrition plays an important role in your little one’s growth and development. Now that he is a toddler, he will be old enough to have learned basic control over small sippy cups. Soon, he will be entering a phase where he will transition from sippy cup to regular cup. This marks an important step in his physical development. Some extra effort on your end can aid him well and a few hacks can help you do so well!
1. Ask to imitate
Kids at this age are quick learners and tend to imitate adults around them. Drink your soup or coffee in cups in front of your children and then offer them the cups to get them to imitate you. Your child will be excited to try this and, with practice, will learn how to balance the weight and liquid flow.
2. Designer Cups
Designer cups make one of the best transition cups from sippy cups. A favorite cartoon character or colours tend to excite children. Leverage on the same and use kid friendly cups or bowls that are colourful or are printed with cartoon characters to help your child transition to big cups. Your baby will happily indulge in careful eating when using these attractive cups and bowls
3. Let her pick
Why not ask your little one to pick out what he likes? When shopping for a bigger cup, guide him to choose what he likes in terms of the color and the shape! Doing so will make your little one excited to use the cup as it is his choice and soon, the small sipper will be forgotten.
4. Switch Directly
Serve your little one’s favorite drink in a bigger bowl. He is sure to not fuss about it as he has his favorite drink to look forward to. Let him try to have the drink on his own after initial guidance and then give him some space for practice once he gets what to do. He will happily try to learn on his own with his favourite drink as a reward.
5. Manage the Gap
You might have a problem if your little one’s play school typically uses sippers and smaller cups or bowls. Your little one would demand the same back home. Help your kid and manage the gap by differentiating between the two. Make the home cups interesting and attractive with designs and label them for home use to help your child get used to them.
Spills are an expected part of any progress in your child's physical development, especially so in sippy cup transition. Patience is the key in aiding your kid's faster development. Read more
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शुरुआत एक नवीन पहल की (अंतिम भाग-5)
क्रमश: ......*****.......... भाग-4 से
जब अनुपमा के पतिदेव अचानक ही देश की खातिर शहीद हुए तो देवर राजीव कॉलेज के अंतिम वर्ष की परीक्षा की तैयारी करते-करते संबंधित जगहों पर नौकरी के लिए आवेदन भी भर रहा था! साथ ही भाभी को पूर्ण रूप से सहयोग भी कर रहा था, पर इन्हीं सब ऊहापोह में न जाने कब उसे अपनी भाभी से ही प्यार हो गया। राजीव दिनबदिन सोचने लगा कि उसकी कहीं तो नई नौकरी लगे तो अनुपमा से विवाह कर उसे यहॉं के प्रताड़ित चंगुल से बचाकर अपने साथ ले जाएगा! ताकि अनुपमा को सहयोग भी हो जाएगा और कंवल की परवरिश भी यथावत हो जाएगी। वह कई बार माता-पिता को समझाने की कोशिश भी करता! कि भैय्या के साथ जो भी हुआ, उसके लिए सिर्फ भाभी को कारणीभूत ठहराया जाना उचित नहीं है! बल्कि उन्हें इस स्थिति से उबरने के लिए हम सबको सहयोग करना होगा और भाभी को वर्तमान जिंदगी जीने के लिए एक नवीन पहल की शुरुआत तो हम सबको घर से ही करना होगी न मॉं?
इन्हीं सब कशमकश में जिंदगी की नाव धीमी गति से ही सही, पर बह तो रही थी! न जाने उस दिन अनुपमा की सास को अचानक क्या हुआ? उसके पूर्व वे बड़े ताऊजी और ताईजी से कुछ चर्चा कर रहीं थीं और अनुपमा को ताने मारकर बोलने लगी कि एक बेटे को खा गई! वह काफी नहीं था, जो राजीव के पीछे पड़ गई हो। मालूम भी है तुम्हें, समाज और बिरादरी वाले तुम दोनों के बारे में क्या-क्या बातें करते हैं? ऐसे बरस पड़ीं मानों भूचाल आ गया हो! और तो और राजीव के मन में क्या चल रहा है, यह जाने बिना ही बोलने लगी कि तू क्या अनुपमा के सहयोग के पीछे पड़ा रहता है हमेशा ही! कंवल को छोड़े वो झुलाघर और नौकरी जाए आटोरिक्शा या कोई दूसरे वाहन से चली जाएगी या नहीं तो नहीं जाएगी। घर ही की गाड़ी से छोड़ना इतना जरूरी है क्या? महारानी हैं घर की, जो रोज बग्गी चाहिए! आखिर जात बिरादरी वाले क्या कहेंगे? तुझे अपनी जिंदगी जीनी नहीं है क्या? और ब्याह नहीं रचाएगा क्या? कब तक यूँ ही कँवारा ही बैठा रहेगा तू? और ससुर जी हैं कि सब सुनते रहे जबकि वे अनुपमा की हालत से वाकिफ थे। इतनी सब उलाहनाएं सुनने के बाद तांव-तांव में अनुपमा कंवल को लेकर मायके चली गई और राजीव हक्का-बक्का होकर अवाक खड़ा रह गया।
कई बार कारण सामने दिखते हुए भी निरपराधी को हमेशा ही दोषी ठहराया जाना कहाँ तक सही है? यही तो हमारे समाज की विडंबना है! वैसे तो सच का साथ देने की कोशिश करने वाले कुछ विरले ही होते हैं और जो सच का साथ देते भी हैं तो उनके ऊपर भी अनावश्यक रूप से इल्जामात की लड़ी सी लग जाती है, जिससे निकलने वाला धुआं पटाखों के धुएं से भी खतरनाक होता हैं।
इसके बाद भी राजी और वत्सला की सलाह पर अनुपमा ने मायके से नौकरी पर जाना जारी रखा ताकि उसकी मानसिक स्थिति मजबूत रहे और वह कंवल की देखरेख कर सके। उसे तो पता भी नहीं था कि देवर राजीव उसके बारे में क्या सोचता है?
अकस्मात ही एक दिन राजीव को मुंबई में उसके मन मुताबिक नौकरी के लिए नियुक्ति-पत्र आखिर मिल ही जाता है और वह अपने मन की बात अनुपमा से कह देता है कि मैं तुमसे प्यार करने लगा हूँ! शादी करना चाहता हूँ तुमसे, कंवल की परवरिश हम दोनों मिलकर अच्छे से करेंगे, ताकि भैय्या और आपने साथ देखा हुआ सपना पूरा हो सके। मैं तुम्हें और ऐसी परेशानी में छोड़कर नहीं जा सकता! अब अंतिम निर्णय तुम्हें लेना है। इतना सुनते ही अनुपमा बोली कि इससे अच्छी बात और हो क्या सकती है? अपने घर की समस्या सुलझाने की कोशिश कर रहे हो! जानते हो, समझते हो, वैसे भी मेरे ऑफीस की सखियॉं मुझे कंवल की परवरिश और आगे की जिंदगी जीने के लिए दूसरी शादी करने की सलाह दे भी रहीं थीं! आखिर इन सामाजिक बेड़ियों की जंजिरों को तोड़ने के लिए हम में से ही किसी को "एक नवीन पहल आरंभ करना तो होगी न?" पर राजीव तुम अपनी जिंदगी क्यों मेरे लिए दॉव पर लगा रहे हो?
सुनते ही राजीव ने कहा.... नहीं अनुपमा जी, मैं सच में दिल से मोहब्बत करने लगा हूँ तुमसे.... अब रजामंदी तुम्हारी है! अब बोलो इस नवीन पहल की मुहिम में कदम से कदम मिलाकर साथ दोगी न मेरा? अनुपमा ने कहा मैं जरूर साथ दूँगी जिंदगी भर तुम्हारा, जैसे कि पहले भी देती ही आई हूँ पर इस समाज और बिरादरी वालों का क्या करें? वे तो मुझे ही भला-बुरा कहेंगे न?
ये कौन से खोखले समाज की बात कर रही हो अनुपमा? सबसे पहली बात ये कि क्या तुम इस रिश्ते के लिए तैयार हो? सबसे महत्वपूर्ण तुम्हारी राय है क्योंकि तुमने पहला जीवनसाथी खोया है और तुम्हारी मानसिक स्थिति भी तुम स्वयं ही जानती हो। इसलिए सबसे पहले तुम्हारा मत समझना बहुत जरूरी है। फिर आती है बारी मेरी सलाह की, तो मैं तुमसे शादी करना चाहता हूँ, भले ही तुम उम्र मे बड़ी भी हो तो भी क्या फर्क पड़ता है और मैं तो तुम्हें समान नजर से ही देखता हूँ।
चूंकि, हिन्दू समाज मे विवाह के समय लड़का और लड़की का गोत्र देखा जाता है पर मैं और तुम इन सब चीजों में विश्वास नहीं करते और एक दूसरे से विवाह के लिए सहमत हैं।
यह सब विचार-विमर्श बहुत देर से अनुपमा के सास-ससुर और मॉं, भाई, सखियाँ राजी, वत्सला और दोस्त रमेश सुनते रहते हैं और शहीद अशोक का जिगरी दोस्त जो नवीन दौर में विश्वास करता है, साथ ही नवीन प्रकाश की उम्मीदों की किरणों से सब बुजुर्गों की ऑंखे खोलता है ताकि उनकी स्वीकृति से ही राजीव और अनुपमा की शादी की एक नवीन पहल की शुरुआत कामियाबी ओर रूखसत हो सके।
दोस्त रमेश राजीव के हाथों में अनुपमा का हाथ देते हुए! कंवल को दोनों की गोद में देता है और वे सभी बुजुर्गों का आशीर्वाद पाते हैं, "शुरुआत एक नवीन पहल की करने के लिए।".... और इतने में अनुपमा की स्थायी नौकरी हेतु नियुक्ति पत्र भी आ जाता है।
जी हां साथियों.... तो ये था अंतिम भाग-5! यह प्रथम प्रयास कहाँ तक सार्थक रहा, यह तो आपकी प्रतिक्रियाओं पर निर्भर करेगा और यह कहानी मेरी आंखों देखी है, जिसको मैने शब्दरूपी मोतियों से पिरोने की कोशिश की है।
अतः आपसे अनुरोध है कि अवश्य ही पढ़िएगा और अपनी प्रतिक्रियाएं व्यक्त करिएगा। आपकी प्रतिक्रियाओं के इंतजार रहेगा।
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Sarika gupta has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
19 hours ago
Q. Am craving to have a burger at McDonald’s. Am 15 week pregnant.
Is it safe to have
Sarika gupta
Mom of 2 children
7 hours ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much and it is better to avoid this at this time and also if you want to eat burger then it is better to make it a home . Thanks and take care
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 6 months
18 hours ago
Q. It's my 12th week of pregnancy but last night I noticed some bleeding. So, my doctor prescribed Duphaston for 2 weeks. Is there anything to worry about? Please guide me.
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
18 hours ago
A. at present take rest and use medicines as advised by the doctor. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 3 months
12 hours ago
Q. I am 7 month pregnant with second baby I have severe abscess pain in armpit and buttocks pls tell me remedy for this ...Dr recommend antibiotics and ultracet pain tablet I have taken some doses of it but worried about the foetal development..does it hurt my baby
Read moreDr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
10 hours ago
A. You should have proper consultation with your treating doctor , as some examination or investigations may be needful, so that proper medications can be given And the treatment can be done very properly.
continue antibiotics regularly
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
6 hours ago
Q. Hello dr meri beti 6 days ki hai or use feed karwane ke bad nose or muh se milk bhar aa raha hai to aesa kyu kr rahi hai….me kya Dr ko dikhau kya???
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
6 hours ago
A. Hello dear parent! Keep your baby’s heart in a little elevated position while you’re breastfeeding. Burp your baby after every feed. Keep Babyhug tummy roll on handy. Consult your doctor for further assistance
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts how to reduce belly fat after pregnancy and skin was loose .two year passes but problem is persist.How can reduce it
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
6 hours ago
A. For weight loss diet is good in intermittent fasting a good and but if your body is loose or you feel you really do tighten up your body then gymming or yoga both the things are going to be very good both the things are going to be helpful in tightening up your body and muscles at the same time but it is time consuming we just have to have patience
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
5 hours ago
Q. my baby is one month old and have cold symptoms. can I consume buttermilk?
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
4 hours ago
A. yes u can further you can contact with your doctor and you can get thhje the solution for this by discussing with him he will guide you for more details if required .
Its always better to take the guidance by the concernged person with the geniune advice ...
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