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Choosing to Have Only One Child - How It Affects the Behaviour of the Child
Friends, in today's fast-moving world, everything demands a good financial situation - even raising kids. It starts with their different needs - nutrition, health, education, entertainment and so on - and many of us decide to be the parent of a single child by choice to balance our finances without compromising on the care we can give our only child. The motive behind this is only the proper and best care for the baby.
Another factor behind this thought is the aspect of both parents working and facing a shortage of time. Kids need time for happiness. These days, both parents work and kids are being taken care of by grandparents, extended family, daycare faculty, etc. The couple already lives with the guilt of giving less time to their kid. All these reasons force them to have a single child.
But what happens ultimately?
Being parents we balance our time and finances and try our best to take good care of our child. But is this actually true? Because who does the child have for company?
Every child needs a constant companion. Your kid also needs a companion with whom he can play, and share his parents, relatives and childhood with. You can do everything in your power for your baby, but the happiness he will get when he is with other children is irreplaceable. Just think of what will happen when he is able to experience this happiness at home! He will be on cloud 9!
There is also a matter of behavioural issues to think about. Depression is a disease related to behaviour, thinking, and emotions, and I was shocked to know that little children can also be affected by this condition.
One of my friends provides tuitions at home to students of the 9th and 10th grade. She was discussing an incident that happened at her place. One of her students went up to her and seemed sad. She asked him if he was okay. There was no reply from his side, and on asking again, he started crying.
She got upset. What was to be done now? She sat with him, pacified him and tried to counsel him. Ultimately, the boy said, "No one loves me. I have no company. My parents don't have time for me. I don't know what to do."
We all were shocked to hear about this! A boy of hardly 15 years of age was depressed because he had no one - no one to talk to, to fight with, to love, and to share things with. His parents also had no time for him as they were working.
He was a single child of his parents. My friend counselled him regularly and spoke to his parents about it separately without telling him. She tried to make a jolly good environment in the class and threw some snack parties to make the kid happy and joyful. She was able to get that child out of his depressed state. Obviously, his parents too did their job wonderfully. His father took a few months off from work and then later, his mom decided to leave her job when his father had to rejoin work. Now, the boy no longer feels lonely. These career sacrifices are worth it when they save the happiness of your child!
Just imagine what would have happened had my friend not noticed the changes in the boy which his parents couldn't even see because they were busy! The boy could not even express this front of his parents as they were always away at work. He could have lost his soul and mind to depression. While parents work for the well-being of their kids, at times, some decisions have to be taken to make things right.
So friends, please do not gift loneliness to your child by choice.
These are my thoughts and observations only. They are not applicable to those who are in difficult financial situations or working couples who don't have anyone to depend on to take care of their child in their absence. Nothing mentioned here is meant to offend anyone.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Nilima
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Diet Plan for 19 Month 2 Week Old Toddler
Introduction:
We hope your toddler loved his meals last week. This week, let’s kick it up a notch by making food fun. With your child now in the second half of his teething phase, he may be slightly irritable and fuss around a bit during mealtimes. Don’t fret, as this is normal. If he doesn’t like certain foods, you can always re-introduce them later. For now, continue to feed him his favourites, as well as some new dishes mentioned in the meal plan. Make sure to continue tracking his likes and dislikes, as this week’s meal plan includes some new dishes for you to add to the list. Keep the milk and nutritional supplements going, and above all, remember that toddlers are fussy eaters, so experiment with flavours and ingredients, and your little one will gobble up the food in front of him. After all, who says no to delicious food?
Food Menu & Schedule for 19 Month 2 Week Old Toddler
Diet for a 19-month-old – Week 2, Day 1
Breakfast
Grated cucumber and oats pancake
Mid-morning
Plain curd with any fruit (except pomegranate and grapes)
Lunch
Roti + dal + a sabzi of choice + a few slices of cucumber + hand pounded rice
Evening
Boiled chana (black chickpea) chaat
Dinner
Ragi (finger millet) dosa with potato sabzi and sambar
Diet for a 19-month-old – Week 2, Day 2
Breakfast
Vegetable upma made with buttermilk
Mid-morning
Pineapple cubes with chaat masala or honey
Lunch
Multigrain roti + dal + a sabzi of choice + a few slices of boiled carrot + curd rice
Evening
Wheat- walnut ladoo
Dinner
Methi (fenugreek) pithla with jowar (sorghum) roti
Diet for a 19-month-old – Week 2, Day 3
Breakfast
Omelette with bread or paneer (cottage cheese) sandwich
Mid-morning
Peach/apple
Lunch
Roti + dal + a sabzi of choice + a few slices of cucumber + hand pounded rice
Evening
Hara bhara kabab with curd dip
Dinner
Stuffed paratha with curd or lassi
Diet for a 19-month-old – Week 2, Day 4
Breakfast
Rajgira (amaranth)- wheat sheera with mashed raisins for sweetness
Mid-morning
Watermelon
Lunch
Paneer pulao with pumpkin soup
Evening
Boiled sweet potato pieces or potato pieces
Dinner
Besan (gram flour) methi (fenugreek) paratha with carrot and palak (spinach) raita
Diet for a 19-month-old – Week 2, Day 5
Breakfast
Oats- almond kheer
Mid-morning
Mango slices
Lunch
Multigrain roti + dal + a sabzi of choice + a few slices of boiled beetroot + hand pounded rice
Evening
Pear-dates milkshake
Dinner
Sprouted moong (green gram)-oats cutlets with homemade date-tomato- mint chutney
Diet for a 19-month-old – Week 2, Day 6
Breakfast
Poha with tomato and capsicum + chocolate- walnut milkshake
Mid-morning
Pomegranate juice
Lunch
Curd rice with grated cucumber
Evening
Chana (chickpeas) powder mixed with date ladoo
Dinner
Puri with aamras and aloo sabzi
Diet for a 19-month-old – Week 2, Day 7
Breakfast
Banana pancakes
Mid-morning
2-3 mathris
Lunch
Roti + dal + a sabzi of choice + a few slices of tomatoes + hand pounded rice
Evening
Fruit yoghurt
Dinner
Mini roti pizza with vegetable soup
Conclusion:
Take your toddler’s likes, dislikes, and food allergies into account when preparing food for him. You can always substitute certain fruits and vegetables with others, without affecting the nutritional value too much. Has your little one liked the dishes in the diet chat so far? For week three of the meal plan for your 19-month-old toddler, click here. Read more
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Eating Cherries during Pregnancy - Benefits, Recipes & Precautions
Cherries are an excellent source of Vitamin C but are they safe to consume while pregnant? What are their benefits and side effects might often be on your mind when you are pregnant. Read on and know all about the fruit, few recipes that you can whip up with it and get answers to few of the frequently asked questions.
Is It Safe to Eat Cherries during Pregnancy?
No doubt, cherries are safe to consume while pregnant. They are loaded with Vitamin C and other nutrients that boost immunity in pregnant women. However, carefully discard the pit which can be hazardous if it enters the throat.
Benefits of Eating Cherries during Pregnancy
Cherries are a rich source of nutrients and pack a healthy punch. Listed below are some of the benefits of eating cherries during pregnancy first trimester and beyond.
It is a great fruit to be eaten while pregnant because it helps in improving the blood flow to the placenta which carries food from the mother to the baby.
Since they are loaded with healthy minerals, vitamins, enzymes, folic acid etc.
, cherries keep health ailments at bay while pregnant.
The sweet and sour taste of cherries helps in combating common nausea during pregnancy.
Cherries contain fibre which helps in preventing constipation and makes bowel movement easy.
Cherries when eaten dried help cure diarrhoea.
Cherries being a rich source of iron improve blood-related problems like anaemia during pregnancy.
The melatonin present in cherries relaxes the nerves. This prevents anxiety in pregnant women and helps in getting good sleep.
The anthocyanins in cherries are very beneficial in protecting neural cells and stimulating good brain health of the foetus. It also helps in curing migraines which are caused due to the fluctuations in estrogen level.
Most pregnant women suffer from oedema which can be prevented by including cherries in the daily diet.
The anti-oxidant and vitamin C present in cherries prevents inflammation which is common during pregnancy.
Cherries are juicy and have high water content. Therefore, they prevent dehydration, and the potassium boosts energy thereby avoiding fatigue in pregnant women.
The potassium in cherries helps in controlling blood pressure levels which can prove to be fatal to the foetus as well as the mother.
Delicious Cherry Recipes for You
Cherries can be paired and relished with various other foods. Here are a few cherry recipes that you can enjoy during pregnancy:
1. Cherry Lassi
Ingredients
Yoghurt – 2 cups
Milk – 2 cups
Cherries – 4 cups fresh cherries (deseeded)
Sugar – according to taste
Salt – a pinch
Direction
Blend all the ingredients.
Pour it in glasses and add some chopped cherries on the top.
2. Cherry Halwa
Ingredients
Cherries – 2-3 cups (deseeded)
Cornstarch – 2 tsp
Water – 3 tsp
Ghee – ½ cup
Walnuts, cashew nuts & raisins – ½ cup each (chopped)
Sugar – according to taste
Cardamom powder – a pinch
Direction
Add 1- 2 tbsp of ghee in a frying pan. Then add the chopped nuts and raisins and saute them till they roast well.
Remove the fried nuts and add the cherries. Cook them until they become soft.
Then add the sugar and stir it occasionally. Crush the cherries with the ladle in the process. Continue until the cherries are fully cooked.
Mix the cornstarch with some water and add to the pan. Continue stirring it. Once it thickens, check its consistency. If you can draw thoroughly line on the ladle with your finger, it is the right consistency.
Reduce the flame and put a tbsp of ghee. Keep stirring till it gets mixed well with the cherry paste. Then add another tbsp of ghee.
Continue with the process until the paste stops absorbing the ghee and can be seen above the mixture.
Then switch off the stove, add the cardamom powder and the fried chopped dry fruits in it.
Serve it hot or cold.
3. Cherry Chuski
Ingredients
Fresh cherries (chopped) – ½ cup
Castor sugar – 1 cup
Water – 1 cup
Edible colour (red) – ½ tsp
Ice cream sticks
Direction
Add water and castor sugar in a saucepan and keep the flame low. Stir it continuously until the sugar dissolves.
Turn off the flame and let it cool.
Cook the pitted cherries in a pressure cooker till they are soft.
Then puree the cooked cherries.
Add the sugar syrup to the puree.
Use a fine sieve to strain the puree and add some edible red colour.
Pour the sorbet into the ice cream moulds, add the ice lolly sticks and place it in the freezer.
4. Cherry Lemonade
Ingredients
Fresh cherries - 1 cup
Lemon – ½ (2 tbsp juice)
Cold water
Sugar – according to taste
Lemon wedges and mint leaves (for garnishing)
Direction
Wash the cherries and pit them.
Blend sugar, lemon juice and the cherries together.
Strain the liquid and add water to it.
Pour it into glasses and garnish it with lemon wedges and mint leaves. You can also crush the mint leaves roughly before adding it to the drink.
Side Effects of Having Cherries While Pregnant
Cherries are abundant in many nutrients and vitamins. However, there are a few problems pregnant women face after consuming cherries.
Although cherries are said to be anti-inflammatory, they may trigger an allergic reaction in some women during pregnancy like oral allergy syndrome.
Consuming too many cherries can be harmful, even if you are not allergic to cherries. It may result in anaphylactic shock or anaphylaxis in rare cases, which can prove to be fatal.
Eating too many cherries may cause bloating, gas and stomach ache. Therefore, it is advised to consume cherries in moderation.
The sweeter varieties of cherries have a higher concentration of natural sugar. Therefore, too much of the fruit is likely to raise the blood sugar level. So it is advisable for women with gestational diabetes to avoid it.
Eating too many of the dried, sweetened cherries or the maraschino cherry can cause excess weight gain in pregnant women. Therefore, watch your portion and avoid eating too many of them or don’t eat them at all.
Precautions to take while Consuming Cherries
Here are some of the precautions that you need to take before eating cherries.
Remember to wash the cherries well before taking it. If not washed well, it may cause infections which could pose a problem for the mother as well as the foetus.
Always eat pitted cherries because the pit contains hydrocyanic, a poisonous chemical.
Remember to consult your doctor before including cherries in the diet during pregnancy.
Dried cherries are coated with sulphites to preserve them. Therefore, if you are allergic to sulphite, avoid them. In case you have a dried cherry craving, keep it dipped in warm water for half an hour so that the sulphites are washed off before eating them.
FAQs
Want to know more about cherry fruit in pregnancy? Here is a list of frequently asked questions that may help.
1. Can I Consume Maraschino Cherries when Pregnant?
Maraschino cherries are rich in calcium, magnesium and potassium which are essential nutrients for the growth and development of the foetus. However, consuming too many of them could result in the rise of blood sugar.
2. Is it Safe to Eat Dried Cherries during Pregnancy?
Dried cherries are laced with sulphites to preserve them. Therefore, it may trigger inflammation in pregnant women who are allergic to sulphites.
It is a known fact that eating cherries during pregnancy is beneficial for the mother as well as the unborn baby. However, remember to eat them in moderation since too many of them may do more harm than good.
Also Read: Consuming Kiwi Fruit in Pregnancy Read more
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Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT)
When you visit your doctor during the initial days of your pregnancy, you will be given a list of prenatal tests that have to be done at different stages. These tests give doctors the essential information about your health and that of your unborn baby. This can help detect any issues like genetic disorders and birth defects to help you plan healthcare requirements if any. Blood and urine tests, as well as ultrasounds, are most commonly suggested.
What is NIPT?
Also known as cell-free DNA screening, non-invasive prenatal testing (NIPT) is a blood test that looks at the DNA in your baby’s placenta to determine if there is an increased risk of you giving birth to a child with a genetic disorder. The advantage of NIPT over other tests is that it can be done early during pregnancy and is accurate compared to other screening tests. It is also more sensitive and specific than quite a few other first and second trimester screenings.
What Does NIPT Screen for?
NIPT is helpful in detecting Down’s Syndrome, Edward’s Syndrome, and Patau Syndrome, also known as Trisomy 21, Trisomy 18, and Trisomy 13, respectively. It can also pinpoint the baby’s gender and Rh blood type.
Who Should Do NIPT Test?
Earlier, it was recommended only for pregnant women who were at high risk of giving birth to children with chromosomal abnormalities. This includes women aged 35 or older, those with an older child having genetic disorders, and women with a family history of genetic problems. It is also suggested that those who are carriers of X-linked recessive disorders like haemophilia or Duchenne’s muscular dystrophy be tested. Also, if you have a Rh-negative blood type, this test can determine if the baby has the same Rh factor or not. If not, steps need to be taken to ensure a smooth delivery in some cases. Nowadays, the decision to test is to be taken by you and your doctor.
When is NIPT Normally Done?
This test is done when you are ten weeks pregnant or later and the results are known in about two weeks. It is not recommended for cases where fetal anomalies can be spotted on an ultrasound or for genetic anomalies that will not be detected by NIPT.
How Is NIPT Test Different from the Combined/Quadruple Test?
In both these tests, a sample of maternal blood is taken for analysis. While NIPT looks at the cell-free DNA in the mother’s blood, the combined and quadruple test check’s the mother’s hormone levels. Given its accuracy rates, NIPT is considered a better tool for evaluating the chances of the baby having Down’s syndrome than the other two.
How Does the Non-Invasive Prenatal Test Work?
The NIPT takes into account the fact that chromosomes come in pairs but those with Downâ™s Syndrome will have an extra copy of the chromosome 21. In Edwards Syndrome, it is an extra copy of chromosome 18 while those with Patau Syndrome will have an extra copy of chromosome 13.
Risks Associated With Prenatal Cell-free DNA Screening
There are no risks involved with prenatal cell-free DNA screenings. Getting this test done can help you avoid a few other invasive tests that can put your pregnancy at risks such as amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling (CVS).
What About the Accuracy of NIPT Test?
This test can predict with 97% to 99% accuracy whether your child is at risk of three of the most common genetic conditions. The reasons behind the inaccuracy of both positive and negative results are as follows:
Causes of False Positives:
This might happen due to ‘vanishing twin syndrome’, and a scan can help determine if this is the case. A false positive might also be due to some problem present in the mother rather than the baby or caused by the presence of an abnormal cell line in the placenta but not in the baby.
Causes of False Negatives:
If the amount of foetal DNA present in the sample is too little, it can result in a false negative. An abnormal cell line that is present only in the baby, not in the placenta, can result in a false negative. Technical issues can also give a false negative.
Also, when the mother is carrying twins or multiples, the result of NIPT may not be clear cut because it can be difficult to know which of the foetuses is affected without an individual amniocentesis for each.
What About the Results of NIPT?
The terms used when reporting the results will vary depending on the lab that does the testing. But usually, the results of a non-invasive prenatal screening are likely to be positive, negative, or inconclusive. Here’s what each means:
Positive:
Some type of abnormality is present, and you might need to get further invasive testing done. That might mean amniocentesis or CVS.
Negative:
Highly unlikely that there is any kind of chromosomal or genetic issue.
Inconclusive:
Only about 4 % of all NIPT tests turn out to be inconclusive. This might happen when there is a low amount of foetal DNA present in the sample. The NIPT might have to be repeated.
If the tests show that the baby is Rh negative, there is no need to do anything. But if the baby turns out to be Rh positive, your pregnancy will have to be monitored carefully depending on your health and other factors. Based on the results of your NIPT as well as results of any first trimester ultrasounds or nuchal translucency screening, your doctor might recommend further testing.
It is natural to feel anxious and concerned about the NIPT and its results, especially if it turns out that your baby might have some kind of chromosomal condition. Chromosomal abnormalities cannot be remedied or treated. Talking to your doctor and a genetic counsellor might help you get answers and decide on the future course of action to adopt.
Disclaimer:
This information is just a guide and not a substitute for medical advice from a qualified professional.
Also Read: A Complete Guide to Pre-Pregnancy Check-Up & Tests Read more
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Double the Joy! 16 Celebrity Parents Blessed with Twin Babies
We love celebrities. We love angelic twins. When we combine these two things we love, we get the perfect combination of cuteness and stardom. It can be fascinating to know more about celebrity parents of twins and how they handle the pressure of being mommy or daddy to not one but two precious babies.
Celebrities seem to live in a parallel universe where everyone has perfect bodies, 32 hours in a day, beautiful families, and careers to die for. While reality is often different from what gets portrayed onscreen, there's one thing that we can all agree upon. Looking at baby pictures instantly cheers us up!
Plus, when we're talking about twins, the joy just gets multiplied manifold! These famous twins of the proud celebrity parents are sure to win hearts. Let's meet the lucky parents who have been blessed with two bundles of joy at once!
Celeb Couples With Twin Babies
1. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.thesun.co.uk/[/caption]
Angelina and Brad became parents to fraternal twins, a girl and a boy, on the 12th of July, 2008. They named the kids Vivienne Mercheline and Knox Leon respectively. Although no longer together, they are currently co-parenting their six children.
2. Sanjay Dutt and Manyata
Sanjay Dutt and his third wife Manyata are also blessed with twins. The little ones have beautiful names: the boy is called Shahraan and the girl Iqra.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.masala.com/[/caption]
3. Jlo and Mark Antony
Jennifer Lopez, one of the world's hottest singers and actresses, married Mark Antony, the soulful singer, in 2004. She gave birth to a son Maximilian David and a daughter Emme Maribel in 2008. Needless to say, these famous celebrity twins' snapshot became the highest paid picture at the time.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.hellomagazine.com/[/caption]
4. Ricky Martin and Carlos Gonzalez Abella
In 2008, Ricky Martin became a father to twin boys Matteo and Valentino with his life partner Carlos Gonzalez Abella.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: http://www.famous-lgbt-news.blogspot.com/[/caption]
5. Celina Jaitley and Peter Haag
This gorgeous, doe-eyed dame married Austrian businessman Peter Haag on 23rd July 2011 in Austria. This celebrity mom gave birth to twins, Winston and Viraaj Haag, on 24th March 2012. In September 2017, the couple became parents to another set of twin boys, although the incident turned out to be 'bittersweet'. Arthur and Shamser were born on 10th September, but Shamser lost his life due to a serious condition soon after his birth. Celina took to social media to announce the birth of her new babies, and mentioned that while the loss of her baby was heartbreaking, a part of him lives through his brother who survived.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/celinajaitlyofficial/[/caption]
6. Celine Dion and Rene Angelil
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://people.com/[/caption]
The famous Canadian singer took the help of IVF treatment and delivered two healthy fraternal twins on 23rd October 2010.
7. Mariah Carey and Nick Canon
The melodious singer’s twins are as famous as she is. Her twins, Moroccan and Monroe, were the paparazzi’s favourite even before they were born. The celebrity mom can often be seen playing in the park with her twins.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.thewrap.com/[/caption]
8. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Brodericks
The Sex and the City star welcomed twins Marion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodge in 2009. They were born through surrogacy.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.eonline.com/ap[/caption]
9. Muhammed Ali
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.itv.com/[/caption]
The undefeated boxing legend was the proud parent of twin daughters Jamillah Ali and Rasheda Ali-Walsh.
10. Shatrughan Sinha and Poonam Sinha
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.business-standard.com/[/caption]
The veteran actor and politician is father to gorgeous daughter Sonakshi Sinha and two fraternal twins, Luv and Kuush Sinha. The handsome men are steadily making their place in the film industry.
11. Sunny Leone and Daniel Weber
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/sunnyleone/[/caption]
This couple has made it to our lists on couples who chose adoption and surrogacy, and make an appearance yet again in this list too! Sunny and Daniel became parents to twin boys, Noah and Asher, earlier this year.
12. Karan Johar
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/karanjohar/[/caption]
KJo welcomed his 'double bundles of joy' via surrogacy in February last year. The twins, Yash and Roohi were born prematurely, and despite the initial complications that are common of premature births, they are happy and healthy today.
13. Hiten Tejwani and Gauri Pradhan Tejwani
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/gpradhan/[/caption]
The TV actors who got married in 2004 had twins, son Nevaan and daughter Katya, back in 2009.
14. Karanvir Bohra and Teejay Siddhu
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/bombaysunshine/[/caption]
It's impossible to not have come across these two and their twin girls who are making waves on the internet with their adorable shenanigans. Bella and Vienna are famous on Instagram; and one look at their account managed by their mom will show you why!
15. Roger Federer and Miroslava Federer
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/[/caption]
The power couple got lucky twice when it comes to twins! Miroslava gave birth to twin girls, Myla Rose and Charlene Riva, in 2009, and were blessed with twin boys, Lenny and Leo, in 2014. The quartet makes for a gorgeous picture!
16. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/nph/[/caption]
The stars became parents to girl-boy twins, Harper Grace and Gideon Scott, back in 2010 via surrogacy.
Nothing raises the cuteness quotient like lovely twin babies. We sure love our celebrity parents of twins for bringing these bundles of joy into the world! Read more
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Lockdown 1.0 – the Millennial Momma Can Fix It All!
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They say, it takes a village to raise a child, but during the current pandemic, it’s more like a muqin (mother in Mandarin) is raising the village!
Who am I… well, yet to find an answer to that one.. but currently a psychologist and a mother to three (two boys and a counselling centre).
So it all started 43 days ago. Gosh! I didn’t think I could pull it that far! Supercharged and pumped up (after quitting the real pumping ordeal barely a few days prior) for the Janta Curfew, as requested by our nation’s leader, we happily gave a break to my maid brigade. Well, I am. Rather, I WAS a royal in that segment. Had 7 of them! (two at my husband’s house, 3 at my mom’s house and 2 nannies for both my boys so I could take care of my third baby during the day) Oh by the way, for those wondering about this dual home set up. That’s the best postulation ever, by my Dear Husband! When we moved from Mumbai (a part of me still lives there) to our hometown 6 years ago, I whacked my brains at various educational institutions in the city, trying to establish the role of a counsellor but came back home each day frustrated and demotivated. He then pushed me to start my own practice. And advised my parents to chuck off their tenants so I could open up my centre there and they get to see me back then, and now, with both my monsters – every Monday to Saturday! What a win-win situation! Guess that’s why this Punjabi married that Baniya. Will share in-depth, crazy love, marriage and parenting ride of mine, soon enough. But for now, let’s get back to the current crises.
Within 48 hours of the adrenaline rush most of us experienced by clapping and ‘thaali bajao‘ moments for our corona warriors, came the biggest shock of my life, 20 days without a single domestic warrior! 2 toddlers, 3-floored Bajaj Bhawan (which is more of a Hawa Mahal that requires infinite cleaning) AND staying at home 24×21! I was flabbergasted! The only silver lining in this darkest overcast ever, was my knight in shining armour, standing tall and determined, with his weaponry…oops utensils, proclaiming “B, I’ll do the dishes every time”. Those words had more compassion than the “I Love You” I heard 17 years ago. These unprecedented times have changed lot of things in and around us. The very first thing I noticed, we started calling each other Ramu kaaka and Gangu bai instead of “Pati” and “B” from B.C. (Before Corona times)
So it took me another 48 hours to gather myself and accept the new normal, chalk out a plan for the household chores and toddlers’ tasks. Mind you, that doesn’t include any fancy activities and creative task schedules with them. I don’t plan to either. Well, that I will explain in my next write up. But since then (for the next 19 days), I had this new sense of being productive and independent! And clearly boredom had no scope because every day was a new challenge and I love challenges!
With little learnings from my academic certifications and more so from on-the-job training in quaran-times, here are some takeaways for life in any crises situation. As experts say, if we don’t learn a lesson of co-existence with nature, we will witness more pandemics from now on.
Clear division of household chores, even if the other significant adults in the house feel you are torturing their “Lai Chhora” with the disgraceful yet essential domestic tasks. Do not try to become the “Octopus Mom”, you’ll either crash in two days or end the days in Maa Kaali avatar.
However irritated/ exhausted you are, don’t pour it out on your offspring. Show them some love, you’ll get it back in manifolds and take all your blues away.
Reward yourself! Keep that 1 hour in a day to do what you like most. Trust me, your performance (in any kind) will double in the remaining waking hours. Like-
video calling your girl’s gang
watching some stand-up comedy or any web series
reading that book lying in your bookshelf since ages waiting to be dusted at least
dancing it out with your partner or kiddos
rekindle any long lost hobby to burst those stress bubbles
Also, got this exciting idea from a dear friend, plan a late-night date with candles and music for just the two of you (well an hour might not be enough for that one)!
And now my secret weapon, with 100% positive feedback from family and friends!
DO NOT indulge in arguments! This pandemic cannot bring men to Venus or take us to Mars! You are anyway seeing each other way too much and topped with the extra workload, the Clash of Clans are inevitable. I know it might sound impossible, but even my Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy trainings remind me of converting “Demands” into “Requests”. And wrap up each task accomplished with a smile (even if you have to fake it) and thank you! For those who are facing conflicts with partners or parents or teens or toddlers or pets, try this bulletproof scheme!
Time literally flew by in lockdown 1.0 and in 2.0, we took a short vacation to the Bahamas to refuel for the long road ahead! Stay tuned to know how. Also, leave in your super honest comments to help me perk up my new found hobby.
Signing out on this note…
Anything that doesn’t kill you, leaves you stronger and wiser!
Stay home and Stay Happy!
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Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. hi sir/mam i had taken nerothrestrone prevent-N one tablet of 5mg when i was unaware of my pregnancy to delay my periods only one dosage was taken by me and i scanned fewdays and heartbeat came but there is the gap of 2weeks in my edd according to lmp and esg is there any problem please reply i am so tensed
Read moreDr Ghouse
Paediatrician
23 mins ago
A. it's okay no problem now. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
1 hour ago
Q. #asktheexperts advice some parenting hack.
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
24 mins ago
A. regarding what ok repeat question. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Nikitha has added a new answer
Father of a Newborn child
31 mins ago
Q. #asktheexperts what is the best time to keep baby in the sun and for how long?
Nikitha
Mom of a 9 yr 5 m old boy
17 mins ago
A. hello in the morning around 7 to 9:00 a.m. for 10 minutes you can get your baby exposed to the sunlight which would be safe on baby so the child will also get the vitamin d naturally which should be good and nothing to worry about
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
30 mins ago
Q. currently I'm in 25th week of my pregnancy. I would like to when is my 7th month or red trimester is going to start?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
3 mins ago
A. you had to complete 28 weeks ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
25 mins ago
Q. #asktheexperts I am having vaginal infection from last 2 months my doc have given me antibiotics meds but still I am having it …. 8 months pregnant I am ….is anything I am doing wrong that’s y I am having this infection
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
2 mins ago
A. ok cd. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
12 mins ago
Q. Hlo sir / madam
I m 36week 6 days pregnant
My baby’s head doesn’t fix into the pelvis
Lightening or baby dropping not happend
My AFI is 18 (mild polyhydroaminous)
What should I do?? Normal delivery possible?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
3 mins ago
A. your treating doctor will advise accordingly ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
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