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Oops, 10 Things It's Best Not To Say In Front of Your Indian Mother-in-Law
Mother-in-law! How does the word make you feel? Happy, scared, irritated, angry, anxious, nervous or a mix of all this? Your MIL may be the sweetest human being on the planet, but as per unofficial statistics, 81.5% women have some or the other worries about their MILs! These start before they get married and the mother in law problems continue for ever and ever!
Jokes aside, we are a culture that has always seen in-laws in a light of respect, obedience, but also some dread. Can the MIL ever be like your own mother? How should you talk to her and how should you not? Times may have changed, but trust us, there are some things that are still best left unsaid to an Indian saasu ma.
We spoke to moms around us and put together this list of things you should avoid saying to your mother-in-law.
Unwise Things to Say to Your Mother in Law
Disclaimer: The points mentioned in this article are meant in jest and not intended to offend anyone. Much love to mothers-in-law; we may fight with them, criticise them, and tell tales about them, but most of us know deep within – they will be there for us when we need them.
1. I’m Thinking of Going to My Parents’ Home
You mean maayka? Didn’t you know your husband’s house is now your house, and that family you grew up with for some twenty years is now paraaya (stranger). It’s another story that your sister-in-law keeps coming to visit every now and then and even stays for as long as a month. But she’s the daughter of the house; you are the daughter-in-law. Why one earth would YOU want to visit your parent’s home?
Tip: Many of us have experienced – some MILs are happy to let us go when they feel we don’t really want to. So, next time you’re planning on going, don’t look too interested, or just suggest that you'd rather go another time. Chances are, she will give you ‘permission’!
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2. Could I Wear a Dress to the Function?
Why? Where are all your sarees and salwar kameez? Good Indian bahus don’t wear Western clothes to functions. Even actresses like Priyanka Chopra are criticised for wearing dresses when they go for functions like meeting important people.
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3. I’m Not Ready to Have a Baby Yet
Listen, it’s very important to do everything according to the right age. There is a right age to get married, to have children, to live, and to die. If you delay pregnancy so much, your body will give up and then how will your in-laws get their waaris (heir)?
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4. I’m Not Good at Cooking; Can I Keep a Maid?
Wait, you are a housewife, right? Why does a housewife need a maid? Even working women need to cook for their family; it is their prime resposnibility. Didn’t your mother teach you how to cook?
Many MILs can competently whip up 7-course-meals from starters to desserts, so this one will have her totally judging you.
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5. My Mom Never Cooked It Like That…
Oh, it gets worse and worse! When you move into a new family, the new methods and lifestyles are what you need to adopt. So, if your mother added onions to the oil first and your MIL adds garlic first, you know whose rule holds ground. Talking about this is a leading source of conflict with mother in law, fellow moms report!
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6. These Saas-Bahu Serials Are Such a Waste of Time
Excuse us, but they are NOT! If they were a waste of time, would they be running for years and years? Would every MIL know the serial theme song, when it played, and when the reruns were? These serials with their fantastic storylines, amazing fashion tips, and larger than life characters are what Indian culture and good bahus are all about. Oh yes, good saas too.
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7. I Think That Saree Looks a Bit Tacky
Haww, did you even know that saree your MIL picked out for the wedding, or gave you as a gift, was modelled from a saas bahu serial? Those shows are ace when it comes to fashion sense, and if you find it tacky, there has to be some deficit in your perception as far as fashion is concerned. To avoid mother in law trouble, simple solution would be to steer clear of such fashion talk.
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8. I Really Miss My Family…
So, you’re unhappy in your husband’s house? Your in-laws mistreat you? No? Then there is no legit reason for missing your family! This is a common sentiment especially in a controlling mother in law.
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9. I Will Raise My Baby The Way I Like
Your MIL has a lot of experience of raising kids. Her kid is now your husband and what a fine man he is! That said, it is a distant dream if you think you’ll raise your baby minus interference and mother in law advice. Unless, of course, if you are among the lucky few whose MILs are helpful without being overbearing. A lot of us simply end up in awkward positions when we can neither accept nor refuse what our MIL has to suggest for the baby – from nappies to first foods.
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10. I Understand What My Husband Wants
This one is extremely delicate. So, of course you know your husband, but can you know him better than the one who gave him birth, potty trained him, saw him through schooling and college, and consented to marry him off? Whatever the answer to that is, it really is best not to challenge authorities on this one. Let your husband bask in the glory of love from both the lovely ladies in his life!
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Have you said any of these things to your MIL yet? We bet you have – some of them cannot really be avoided, no? While some of us are blessed to have MILs who see us just as their own daughters, others have a hard time figuring out how to deal with mother in law issues. Read more
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Complete Vaccination Guide For Your 12 Months Old
Now that your baby has turned one, you may think he needs fewer vaccines than before. Truth is, twelve months is a very crucial stage in your baby's life, and you need to take certain shots to ensure that he is in the pink of health.
Check out the list of vaccines your baby needs to take at this age
1. Hepatitis A
Along with maintaining hygiene in everyday life, taking this vaccine is a sureshot way to prevent your darling from contracting Hepatitis A. And don't forget, the next dose is just three months away, when your baby turns 18 months old.
2. Hib
This vaccine safeguards your child from serious infections like epiglottitis, meningitis, and pneumonia. Previously given at two, four and six months of age, now is when you give her a final booster dose.
3. MMR
The first dose of the MMR vaccine has to be administered between the age of 12-15 months. Short for Measles, Mumps and Rubella, this vaccine protects your little one from these contagious viral diseases. For full protection, take the next shot at 4-6 years of age, right before he joins kindergarten.
4. PCV
PCV shields children under the age of 5 from some of the worst childhood diseases like meningitis and pneumonia. Previously administered at 2 months, 4 months and 6 months, this is the final dose of this vaccine for your little one.
5. Varicella
Remember the itchy red spots and scars caused by chickenpox? Well, you can prevent all of that by the Varicella vaccine. Remember to keep her protected by going for the second shot when your child is 4-6 years old.
6. Influenza
To prevent contraction of the flu (seasonal, H1N1 and bird flu), an annual Influenza shot is recommended for everyone who is 6 months and older.
Remember, vaccines keep your bundle of joy protected from dangerous and deadly diseases and illnesses. Make sure you consult your paediatrician if your baby experiences any major or minor side-effects. Read more
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Fractures in Children - Types, Causes, Diagnosis and Treatment
Barring a few, children can sometimes be rough while playing and it wouldn’t be a big surprise if your kid came back home complaining of pain. If your kid has been diagnosed with a fracture, here is what you need to do.
What Is a Bone Fracture?
As the name suggests, a bone fracture is a condition where there is a crack or a small break in the bone. They are categorised into two types:
1. Open Fracture
This is the case when there is an open wound, usually as a result of bone fragment breaking through the skin. An open fracture is dangerous and requires immediate attention as bacteria, and other agents can cause an infection.
2. Closed Fracture
There is no open wound, and the risk of infection is minimal. However, there may be soft-tissue injury, and the form of treatment would be based on the extent of damage to the soft tissue.
Common Types of Bone Fractures in Children
Some likely fractures your child may get include:
Buckle Fracture
This fracture is unique as the bone doesn’t break but simply bends or buckles. The fracture occurs in young kids because the bones are still growing and are flexible. Children who have this type of fracture respond well to treatment and heal in no time.
Greenstick Fracture
In this type of fracture, the bone first bends and then breaks. However, it is incomplete as the bone is not fully broken.
Supracondylar Fracture
This usually happens when your child falls to the ground on an out-stretched hand and breaks the bone near the elbow. Sometimes, the broken bone (humerus) can affect the nerve which controls motor function making it difficult for them to bend the tip of the index finger or do the okay sign. The broken elbow recovery time in children is six weeks.
Mid Shaft Forearm Fracture
This form of injury occurs in the middle part of the forearm and happens due to a fall from monkey bars or a trampoline. It is an open fracture, and in most cases, both bones (radius and ulna) in the forearm are affected. Studies have shown that children who are lesser than ten years old can heal from this even without surgery.
Galeazzi Fracture
The fracture affects the radius bone that is located near the wrist. One of the possible ways in which this can happen is if your child falls down sideways on their wrist.
Monteggia Fracture
This is a fracture that mainly affects the area a few centimetres below the elbow. In sixty per cent of the cases, only the ulna bone is affected. However, there is a chance that the radius is either dislocated or even broken. This is a severe injury and may require surgery.
Metaphyseal Fracture
This is related to an injury to the growing cartilage of long bones such as the tibia, femur, etc. This form of fracture can take place when your child has been yanked by a limb in a violent manner. The healing time is roughly three months.
Clavicle Fracture
This involves an injury to the collarbone. Clavicle fracture in children occurs as a result of falling on the shoulder or an outstretched arm.
What Causes Fractures?
Some of the many ways that fractures occur in children include:
Falling into an awkward position
Getting a finger wedged between objects
Getting limbs accidentally twisted
Sign and Symptoms of a Bone Fracture in Children
These include:
Swelling
Visible deformity
Pain
Difficulty in moving the injured limb
How Is a Broken Fracture Diagnosed?
Some diagnostic procedures include:
X-Ray
This procedure uses electromagnetic waves to get pictures of internal parts of the body such as bones.
CAT scan
Short for computer tomography, CAT scan is a more detailed X-ray that uses technology to produce images of the body from different angles. The quality of imaging is greater than an X-ray.
Ultrasound
A device known as a transducer uses sound waves to map out the internal structure of the body. Similar in capabilities to an X-ray, an ultrasound can be used in children, especially for shoulder related injuries.
How Is a Fracture Treated?
Treatment of the fractured bones is done with the help of cast in children. Surgery is usually not recommended. If the bone is not properly aligned, then they are placed back to their original position and held there which is known as reduction.
Home Treatment
Some of the ways that a fracture can be dealt with at home include
Applying a cold compress will help reduce the swelling.
Consuming pineapple which contains bromelain which is known to reduce swelling.
Consuming turmeric which contains curcumin has anti-inflammatory properties that help reduce the swelling.
How Does a Bone Fracture Heal?
Blood rushes in immediately after the fracture, and the protein in them known as haematoma is used to plug the gap in the bone. The growth of new bone takes place at the edges of the broken bone. Additionally, cartilage tissue is produced to fill in the gaps which are eventually replaced by stronger cartilage until the bone is fully healed.
Broken bones in children are common. However, kids have a very resilient skeletal structure when compared to adults and healing is relatively fast.
Also Read: Greenstick Fracture in Kids Read more
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4 Powerful Mantras: Guaranteed to Help You Manage Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression
Pregnancy for most women is a dichotomic experience. On one hand, you feel all-powerful for being able to nurture a living being inside you. On the other, you feel vulnerable for being solely responsible for the safety and normal growth of your baby. I gave birth to a healthy child in November last year. One of my biggest concerns during my pregnancy was my struggle with depression. I wanted to avoid unnecessary depression-related anxiety to protect my baby. So, I reached out to my friend who is a spiritual guide. He enlightened me with three potent mantras that helped me greatly reduce my stress levels. Have you been bombarded with pregnancy advice from everyone you meet? I was advised to change the way I walk, told what I should watch for entertainment and given photos at which I should stare so that my baby was born happy and fair. In the middle of this mental chaos, I found peace while chanting the three mantras shared below. I have presented the mantras in three parts:the mantra the meaning of the mantra and the significance of the mantra for you and your babySri Gopala Sahasranama StotramImage credit: www.shriradhakrishna.ingopa-svaami gokulendrogovardhana-varaa-pradaahnandaadi-gokula-trataadaataa daaridrya-bhanjanaahगॊपस्वामी गॊकुलेन्द्रॊ गोवर्धनवरप्रदः।नंदादीगॊकुलत्राता दाता दारिद्रयभंजनः।।Oh! Master of the cowherds, the granter of wishes, and the protector of beings. Lord! Burn away poverty. You invoke Lord Krishna by chanting the above mantra and tell him to grant you a wish. You ask him to protect your child and destroy any insufficiencies that could harm the baby.Ramcharitmanas ChaupaiImage credit: www.divine-rudraksha.commangala bhavana amangala haaridravahu sudasaratha ajira bihaarideen dayaal virad smabhaari harahu naath mama sankata bhaariमंगल भवन अमंगल हारी। द्रवहु सुदसरथ अजिर बिहारी।।दीन दयाल बिरिदु संभारी। हरहु नाथ मम संकट भारी।।Dashrata’s beloved son who played in his courtyard, you are the destroyer of evil and the abode of all goodness. You are the protector of the powerless and eradicator of the obstacles. As the Vedas claim, evade any harm that may fall on my path. You invoke Lord Ram and pray to him to rid your pregnancy of any complication. Thus, asking him to support you throughout your journey of nine months and destroy any malice that could harm your child. Maa Durga MantraImage credit: rimple.insarva mangala maangalyeshive sarvaartha saadhikesharanye tryambake gaurinaraayani namo-stute सर्व मंगल मांगल्ये शिवे सर्वार्थ साधिके |शरण्ये त्रयम्बके गौरी नारायणी नमोस्तुते ||We bow and worship Goddess Gauri who is auspiciousness and goodness herself. She is the achiever of desires, the provider of refuge and mother of the three worlds.You invoke Goddess Gauri who is a form of Maa Durga by saying the above mantra. You humbly surrender the responsibility of safeguarding your child to the Goddess knowing that she will guide you through all obstacles.Gayatri MantraImage Credit: brushstrokesandbuzzedfolks.comom bhur bhuvah swahtat-savitur varenyambhargo devasya dheemahidhiyo yonah prachodayatॐ भूर् भुवः स्वःतत् सवितुर्वरेण्यंभर्गो देवस्य धीमहिधियो यो नः प्रचोदयात्We chant and meditate on the ancient energies and the Sun to inspire our physical, mental and spiritual self. We urge the most adorable Lord to destroy our sins and enlighten our minds.You seek wisdom and intellect for yourself and your unborn child so that both of you can achieve a balanced physical, mental and spiritual life. You meditate upon the ever giving Sun, who is the creator of existence to destroy all suffering and inspire your journey of life.Is being homebound due to the COVID Pandemic causing you anxiety? Are there other factors affecting your pregnancy negatively? Do not worry any more! Set aside a few minutes any time during the day - Early in the morning, after your shower or before your evening tea. Recite the first three mantras 21 times and the Gayatri Mantra 12 times. Use prayer beads or the segments of your fingers to count. Start by taking a few deep breaths to relax. Concentrate on the child growing within you and begin. Practice this at least 5 times in a week till you give birth to a beautiful and strong baby. I was suffering from a painful case of postpartum depression immediately after childbirth. It withheld me from connecting with my newborn. At such a critical time, again, these mantras came to my rescue. Chanting these powerful mantras will reduce your stress levels and allow positive energies surrounding the earth to flow towards you and your child. I wish you “A Happy Pregnancy and Beyond!” Read more
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Time, Love, Laughter, Hugs and Kisses, Memories, Modern Age Parenthood
Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to make my husband look bad :)
Ishaan's dad is currently the sole breadwinner of the family, which means he is away most of the times. In a day, he hardly gets few minutes to spend with Ishaan. Me on the other hand, is the lucky parent to literaly be next to him all the time. Well, almost all the time. Ishaan is 5 months old now and thanks to the lockdown, my husband gets to spend some time with him. It was late at night and I had put Ishaan to sleep and went to the kitchen to get on with my pending chores. My husband was lying on a recliner next to the bed and busy watching some random fb video. I heard Ishaan's cry and I ran back to the room to find him being held by my husband. He was trying to calm him down. I quickly switched on the light to see if he is okay. The moment he looked at me, he smiled with tears welled up in his eyes and leaped towards me. I will never forget this mental picture in my life. Such moments are what makes everything worth it. I held him close to myself and patted him saying he was safe and okay. He instantly calmed down. My husband felt a little bad which I totally understand. Showing love to a baby is not in what kind of clothes or toys we get them. What matters the most to them is when we show them how much we love them and how much they mean to us, by actually spending time with them. My everyday routine is mostly tedious, but no matter what I try to always greet him with a smile and warm soothing sounds or words whenever I am about to lift him. It really does have an impact and his warm smile in return just melts my heart. Being a mom is hard, I know. But when it comes to our kids, they grow up so fast we hardly get the time to capture memories that are meant to be etched in our hearts forever. Just remember, you don't need to be a perfect mom, just a happy one! At the end of the day, a mom can never be replaced. Read more
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The Story of My Miracle Pregnancy
My pregnancy story is a little weird. I was planning for a year but was not getting pregnant. My periods were irregular as I had PCOS. In Oct 2017, I didn't have regular periods. In Nov, I went to the doc. She did a scan and said I wasn't pregnant. I had PCOS and my fertility rate was low. I lost all hope when she said I would never have a baby. That day, I cried and prayed to God to help me out. It was 3rd Dec. My hubby told me to take a test. I just did the test and told him to see the result and went to do my household work. After a few minutes, he shouted, "Baby, its 2 lines. I thought he was joking. He came and showed me and I just fainted in shock. Yes, it was 2 lines. I was pregnant. I can't express in words. I was just flying in the sky, I just thanked God. And by God's grace, my pregnancy went very smoothly and today I have my miracle baby Zainah Ashraf.
So, leave it to God. He takes care of things. Hope you all loved my story. A woman bears so much during pregnancy but all the pain just vanishes when she hears the heartbeat of her child inside the womb. When a woman is young, she takes care of her brother, father, then her husband and later her kids. Women are a miracle in this world. After giving birth, I realised what a woman can do. And how much my mom has done. Kudos to all women. Love you all.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
Swati Kar Samanta has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
16 hours ago
Q. why I am getting dizziness in my pregnancy
I am going with 3rd month of my pregnancy it's a very strong dizziness I feel at times means every day .....no other symptoms of pregnancy .Please help with elaboration .All okay means isn't part of this journey.
Read moreSwati Kar Samanta
Mom of a 2 m old girl
5 hours ago
A. Do consult your doctor as soon as you can. It's important to find the real reason because without that, proper medication is not possible.
Dr Priyanka Kalra has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
16 hours ago
Q. I am currently 32 week pregnant and had growth scan recently.My baby is in cephalic presentation.does this change after 36 week or does this remain the same?
Dr Priyanka Kalra
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist
8 hours ago
A. usually fixed. better to show to specialist always as they get the correct diagnosis. try to avoid self and extra medication that will only complicate this and create more damage to the child
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. it's my 5 month n I still didn't went for check up yet not even once is it okay if I go now or?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
6 hours ago
A. You should have started going from the very beginning itself once you get to know you’re pregnant but since you haven’t reached that now if you’re pregnancy has been healthy last five months please get it checked with your doctor also if you need to start with any supplements or diet the doctor would advise you after a ultrasound so please visit your gynaecologist
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. size chart is not correct for age of the baby
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. generally it is available from Indian academy growth chart download from Google. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Nikitha has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
2 hours ago
Q. Mera 8 month start hu white distance hora mere ko
Nikitha
Mom of a 9 yr 5 m old boy
2 hours ago
A. hello since u are a expecting mom this would require a proper medical attention and it is better to check with your doctor and your doctor will be able to guide you better on examination of the same and advise you accordingly
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
1 hour ago
Q. hello doctor, I'm 3 weeks pregnant. can we sleep on our belly or which side We can sleep on during pregnancy...
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
9 mins ago
A. during pregnancy it is always advisable to avoid sleeping on your tummy and you should always sleep on one side either left or right which ever you are feeling comfortable
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