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Separation Anxiety: Causes, Symptoms & Cure
Parting with someone you love is difficult, even it is for a short time. This is especially painful if you are a child being separated from his or her caregiver for the first time. Separation anxiety is a situation in which a person feels anxious or stressed when they are put into an unfamiliar situation or with an unknown person or are kept away from their home or a family member. This is mostly observed in children and infants aged between 6 months to 3 years.
Video: Separation Anxiety in Children
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS5OxBuG3M4
What is Separation Anxiety Disorder in Children?
Separation anxiety disorder (SAD) is a condition developed in children above the age of 6 months when a child feels stressed or nervous while he plays with other children or while he goes to school. A child tends to display enormous fear or distress once separated from the ones he/she loves or has started to recognise as family or caregivers. Separation anxiety in children is a normal stage of development but may require professional help to conquer if it is severe. Various steps can be taken to help children learn how to tackle separation anxiety.
While separation anxiety is normal, an extended period of fear and distress means that your child is not facing a normal feeling of anxiety but is experiencing Separation Anxiety Disorder.
Is It Common in Babies?
Yes, every child faces separation anxiety to a certain degree when their parent or caretaker is separated from them.
The question that may arise is when does separation anxiety occur? Separation anxiety in babies starts around the age of 6 months to 10 months and can generally last until they are 3 to 4 years old. A baby generally starts to develop separation anxiety when he/she starts to realise object permanence (understanding that faces and objects still exist even when they cannot be observed, heard, touched, etc.).
Understanding the symptoms and causes of this situation can help a child to overcome the fears and anxiety caused by it.
Causes
There may not be a single reason which can lead a child to this condition. Here are some of the possible causes:
Separation anxiety can be inherited from the child’s parents or even other family members around who are stressed or anxious around the child. If a mother herself had faced stress or depression or a similar kind of disorder, then the chances of it getting transferred to the baby are high.
Children whose parents are over-protective may make it more difficult for their young ones to cope with separation anxiety. For example, a parent allowing a child to miss school when they don’t want to go can only lead to the child feeling more anxious the next day.
There are some other environmental reasons too that may trigger separation anxiety. These include the death of a pet, divorce of parents, separation from a cousin, etc.
Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder
Symptoms of separation anxiety can help you know the root cause of the condition. As a parent, one can prepare by noticing the change in the behaviour of their young one.
Also, a child diagnosed with SAD tends to face problems at school. Adjustment with the school becomes difficult, and if the extent of SAD is extremely high, then the child may also behave aggressively. Records suggest that SAD also leads to family conflicts.
Signs of Separation Anxiety in Babies
There are many signs which signal the occurrence of separation anxiety in children, such as:
Being afraid of the idea of not sleeping with parents or a caregiver
Having a fear of their close ones getting hurt or fearing their death
Constantly refusing to go to school or to play with other children
Having nightmares about getting separated from their loved ones
Wetting their bed overnight or while sleeping
How to Diagnose It?
SAD is diagnosable only if it is present in extreme conditions and levels. Otherwise, if it is minute in its existence, then it is taken as just another behavioural change.
It can be diagnosed via interviews, self-proclamation, reports by parents, observation of parent-child interaction, etc. There is also a provision for specialised assessment for preschool children. There are a variety of categories under which the assessment interviews are categorised. If you are worried about SAD in your child, please consult an expert to explore one of these diagnostic tools. The expert will also be able to assess the severity of the problem and recommend corrective measures.
How to Help your Baby with Separation Anxiety?
As a parent, you have to help your child in this condition to avoid problems in the future where he/she may continue to be upset about someone’s or something’s absence. A parent must try and get a grip on how to cure separation anxiety in babies. The following tips will be helpful in easing the child’s fears:
1. Don’t Express Nervousness in Front of the Child
Don’t let the child feel that they are going through tough times. Reassure them and make them believe they can get over the anxiety. Let them know it’s normal and it is just a phase of their growing up. Some children appreciate the fact that they are growing mature and tend to rely on it if stated accordingly.
2. Know Why Your Child Gets Anxious
Knowing the exact issues which cause anxiety in your children can prove to be a good place to start helping them to cope. Otherwise, it would become tough to talk to them or handle them.
3. Predict When They Can Be More Prone to Anxiety
Try to predict situations your child can feel distressed in and help them feel secure by comforting them in advance. It might take some time to figure this out, but it is essential to curb the anxiety.
4. Give Them Confidence
Tell them that it is okay and they are brave enough to cope with their fears and nervousness. Praise them for their little achievements and give them small, easy tasks, so that they gain confidence. Developing positive environment around them can really be helpful. A familiar perfume, a photograph, or even a belonging of their parents can make them feel safer. Timely encouragement can boost their morale to a great extent, and this will also assure them that you are always there by their side.
5. Let Them Play Outside
Playing and interacting with other children and people in the neighbourhood can help them relax. It will take their mind off the continuing trauma and help them forget it for some time.
How to Prepare a Baby for Separation?
It is recommended to help your child learn the basics of how to feel safe even when you are away. Doing this early will simplify the task of coping with separation anxiety.
1. Choose a Person They Will Be With When You’re Away
Select someone whom the baby feels comfortable with in his usual activities. Let them change his/her diaper, make them take a bath with the baby, and let them take walks or play together. It is a start of making your child comfortable with someone other than you so that there is a backup. This way, they get to realise that it is vital for them to be with other people too.
2. Let Them Know When You Leave; Don’t Sneak Away
Make a fun ritual for saying goodbye. If you go away when they are distracted, and they discover your absence afterwards, it may cause greater stress in your child and make them aggressive too.
3. Stay Connected
Occasionally, calling or sending them a greeting card to convey that you are with them even though you are not physically present, helps. Convey that you care for them and that you will be there if they are upset.
4. Tell Them Why You Go Away
While you may think that your child is too young to understand your situation, your body language can express a lot, which they can understand. Tell them about the reasons for your departure and arrival too.
5. Realise The Bigger Picture
It may be difficult for you and your child initially, but both parents should trust that the children have it in them to come out stronger. Don’t be overly protective of the child, and let him express himself. Believe that one day, everything will turn out as you planned and he will not be distressed when you are away.
Reducing Baby’s Clinginess
Tearful, hesitant goodbyes are usual in a child's early years. Teaching them to gradually overcome their fears is important for treatment for separation anxiety.
While becoming independent, children will sometimes feel unloved. However, it is just a part of their development. Hold their hands when they need to be held and let them go when you think they are ready to be released. Some babies take more time than others. So, don’t compare your child with someone else’s. Clinginess usually resolves itself on its own, as the baby grows up and becomes independent.
How to Handle Bedtime Separation Anxiety?
Regular bedtime activities: Try to make the environment and activities associated with bedtime predictable. Try not to experiment too much with their bedtime schedule
Keep dim lights beside them: When you are not around them, it helps them feel less tensed
Let them know you check on them after you leave: This will help them know that you are always just around the corner.
Physical interaction: Hug them or kiss them when you put them to bed
Teach them to entertain themselves: Encourage independent playtime. Keep a toy with them, and let them play on their own until they get tired and feel sleepy
Are There Any Preventive Measures?
There are several prevention measures for separation anxiety disorder. However, it is important to understand the signs properly and start implementing these precautions early on:
1. Keep Goodbyes Short
A short and simple goodbye, maybe with a hug or kiss, is recommended. Make sure you don’t make it long, even if the child feels bad about it. In the long run, it will only help them
2. Be Fearless as a Parent
As a parent, try not to express negative emotions when you go away from them or meet them after a while. Children can learn to develop emotions from your anxieties and tensions
3. Learn How to Leave
Gradually train your child by leaving for an extended time. Be away from them for five to ten minutes initially. Then, increase this time day by day until the time when he/she loses the fear of being without you
4. Control Your Emotions Upon Meeting
Don’t go overboard with affection right when you meet after a while. Restrain yourself from showing feelings which can feed their fears. Temporary separation should be presented as a matter of course instead of as a special event
Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. Although it might be frustrating initially, your efforts are sure to pay off and help you raise a confident child in the long run. In case none of the above solutions seem to be helping or your child displays severe symptoms such as aggression, age-inappropriate tantrums, or persistent refusal to go to school, consult an expert. Read more
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It's how I started to write blogs on social media
Being an introvert person I always preferred to pen down my feelings. When I was in school I started writing on the back of notebooks( rough copy or house copy) no one new my habit.
But one day I made a fresh copy of all my writings and wrote few lines for my elder sister's birthday. She was amused and praised me a lot. Than I stopped writing as I was busy in studies, but it was always near to my heart.
To write is a magical way to express and destress yourself and it further helps to pen down the most happy, important and sad moments.
I remember when I conceived for first time I started mentioning every thing in my diary and it's my biggest treasure because when I read it I feel so proud of being a mother and to have such a beautiful daughter.
Though pictures, videos do capture the emotions but to write it down is more special and close to my heart.
We all live in life full of gadgets and feel less important to write ,but writing is an art and I like this purity.
Few years back when I was at home(homemaker by choice) I discovered the need to write on social media, I started with Facebook, and few websites. I really got a good response and specially my family members acknowledged my talent. My father,mother, sister 's and all my relatives were so happy to read my blogs. My old school friends connected with me though social media and praised me. Everyone liked,views boosted me and I started writing more and more.
Its like something was within me but I was not so sure to share, I remember how I used to hide my short poems, thoughts written on back of notebook. But now I freely write on websites, where so many people read, comment and try to react.
It's how I started to blog how about you?. Do share how all of you started or willing to write. Read more
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How I Brought My Baby Home During the Chennai Floods
My elder son was 2 1/2 years old when I was pregnant with my second child. I was in Chennai for my delivery. It was the 28th of Nov, 2015. It was a dull and cloudy day, and I had become restless during the night.
I had fever chills and my mom applied balm to my forehead and covered me with heavy blankets.
A few minutes later, mild pain started. I urged my parents to take me to the hospital since I felt that it was labour. My parents, my first child and I got into the car. It was raining heavily outside. My mom informed my husband and in-laws who were in Dubai at that time.
We reached the hospital by early morning. I was taken to the labour room. The doctor was waiting for dilation. To my aunt, I would ask about my son and my parents. She would tell me that they are waiting outside. After an hour or so, I felt so stressed and requested her to call my mom inside.
A few minutes later, my mom stepped in and her eyes were red with tears. I consoled her and asked about my son. She told me that he was with my dad and that they were taking good care of him. From 3.30 am and to 1.30 pm the next day, I underwent labour. I was feeling a bit restless.
It was around 2.40 pm. Severe labour pain had started. Around 2.45 pm I gave birth to my younger son. A few minutes later, my dad stepped in asking about the baby and my condition. I pleaded to see my elder son. Then, he revealed that my son had a high fever and fits. He was taken to the emergency childcare hospital. The doctors suspected that they were febrile convulsions.
However, with expert care and treatment, my son's temperature came down in an hour. When the nurse asked me if she could bring me the little one, I told her to wait since my heart was wandering to see my son who was not well.
With a big list of procedures and lab tests, my son was discharged that evening. My mom came to see me in the hospital along with my son. You can't imagine my mental condition at that time. I grabbed and hugged my son, had no words to explain that situation, just the tears.
My son said, "Amma all ok now, fever jus flied and will go home." We told him that we would be taking our baby along as well. Only God knows how we came home as the roads were flooded and our car was sailing on the water. With the water level covering the bonnet of our car and hoping for a grip to hold for our lives, it is was a dangerous situation.
I was watching the floods in Kerala and the Indian Army rescuing a pregnant woman from a remote area. At that time I thought I should share my experience during the floods in Chennai. I hope nobody has to go through this.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her.
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Mom of a 1 yr 9 m old child
4 hours ago
Q. hi mam , my baby 1 year and 9 month old just now onwards stop breast feeding .pls suggest formula milk to my baby
Dr Ghouse
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4 hours ago
A. your baby is more than 1 year 9 months of age any milk including buffalo milk cows milk ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
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Q. #AskTheExpert hello dr.
baby planning kar rhi kuch tips btayiye conceive ho jaye
Dr Ghouse
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A. it's a natural process ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
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A. during first pregnancy you may feel the baby movements after 24 to 25 weeks of pregnancy and till then only mild flatters may be felt but which you may not be feeling if you are doing some work
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Expecting Mom due in 2 months
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Q. I’m in my 31 week 1 day of pregnancy. What will be my delivery date??
As I have low lying placenta with grade 1 maturity.
Dr Ghouse
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A. you had to correlate is ultrasound examination. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
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Q. My hemoglobin is 6.4 from 28 weeks of pregnancy. Now I’m 31 weeks pregnant. What should I do?
Rashmi
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A. Haven’t when you having some kind of iron supplement because they’re very good during the time of pregnancy if you are not having one you need to start with and whatever tabs you take you should just take it with any good juice specially pomegranate juice that’s going to help in doubling the impact of the medicine that you’re taking secondly try and include more of Iron which diet like spinach broccoli beetroot pomegranate black rice sweet potato these things are exceptionally healthy for you to consume
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Q. This is my cbc report
Rashmi
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A. No there is nothing visible on my wall so I can really really cannot help you can you please repose the question once again providing all the necessary details as once I’m certain what are you talking about what’s mentioned in the report according to that I can provide you proper help on your question
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