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Actress Chhavi Mittal's Traumatic Delivery Is a Wake-up Call for All Moms-to-be!
Dealing with the changes that pregnancy brings about and taking care of a child is not an easy job, but mothers do justice to the task with all their heart - and without complaint. They cocoon their babies in their wombs for nine months, so it most certainly gives them the right to plan every aspect of the birth - the process of the delivery, the hospital they will give birth in, the doctors they want to consult, everything! So, how would it feel when you plan everything, but there comes a moment when everything goes for a toss? Having little to no idea of medical terms and processes, we trust our doctors implicitly believing that they won’t let any harm come our way. But not all doctors live up to our trust.
Actress Chhavi Mittal, who gave birth to a baby boy on May 13th, shared the traumatic experience of her labour and delivery through her Instagram posts, and we are in shock! Chhavi had wanted to practice hypnobirthing while delivering her second child. Hypnobirthing is a method of pain management used during labour and delivery, which helps a woman prepare for childbirth through relaxation techniques such as visualisation and deep breathing. Chhavi was so focused on this idea that she had shared the birth plan with her doctor, the nursing staff, the head of the hospital and with other people who were even remotely involved in her birthing process. As per the plan, Chhavi had also wanted her husband Mohit Hussein to be by her side at all times. She had also shared in the plan that her baby should be given to her after the birth and that the doctors should delay the cord clamping up until the placenta stopped pulsating. You can read the excerpts of her birthing plan here -
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx1UmX1noaB/
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx1UmX1noaB/
Chhavi’s requests were not outrageous; a comfortable and safe delivery process is what all pregnant women deserve and of course, they trust their doctors to respect their wishes. But in Chhavi and Mohit’s case, the exact opposite happened. While they were assured that their requests would be honoured, they most certainly were not. When Chhavi was in labour, she was administered a drug to hasten dilation. With the introduction of a drug in her system, her dream of having a hypnobirth quickly slipped away. She had been practising hypnobirthing techniques for months, but her doctor was never on board with her plan, which Chhavi realised only later when she was in the OT.
She was rushed to the operation theatre for a C-section delivery (despite being in labour for 7 hours or so and having been 8 centimetres dilated), but her husband was not allowed to enter the OT; not at first. This clearly violated a point of her birth plan, where she had mentioned she wanted her husband to be with her at all times. However, after she threatened to walk out of the hospital unless he was allowed into the OT, the doctor allowed Mohit to stay by her side. But the ordeal did not end just yet.
In the operation theatre, the doctor said certain things to her which a pregnant woman would never want to hear, especially not at a time when she is in unimaginable pain. Chhavi could not understand how a woman whom she had believed in for nine months, never actually cared about her idea of birthing. Here is what the doctor told Chhavi while she was in the OT.
“Your labour is not strong enough, your body is not meant to do this, if you felt pain, you would be screaming, not sleeping.”
She then went on to say, “Don’t worry, I’m famous for giving really small incisions. You won't have a big scar!"
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx4Bc_LHk2t/
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx4Bc_LHk2t/
Chhavi couldn’t believe that the doctor thought that her main worry was about having a scar. After the baby’s birth, the umbilical cord was clamped all too quickly. The little one was taken out but was not given to his mother even after she had repeatedly asked for him. To her horror, the doctor also said, “Dekha, pain-free delivery.” Chhavi was even administered a sleeping injection thereafter without her permission. The doctor not only disagreed with Chhavi’s birth plan but managed to make a complete mockery of the whole situation!
But it’s Chhavi who is now living with the consequences of her doctor’s decisions. Post delivery, she struggled to establish a good latch with her newborn. She also faced a loss of hearing in one ear due to the spinal tap procedure. However, she is now on the road to recovery and at home, comfortable and surrounded by the people she loves.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BxkXI9rHOnG/
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BxkXI9rHOnG/
This was Chhavi’s experience, but many women have a similar story. We put a lot of trust in our doctors and caregivers with the hope that they will honour our requests and make our birthing experience a memorable one for us. But not all doctors respect or care for a pregnant woman’s choices. A woman who carries a baby in her womb for nine months should be treated with love and care - it’s the least she expects and deserves. And she has every right to express her discontentment - be it with doctors or anyone.
Through her birthing story, Chhavi has also raised many important questions which need to be pondered upon.
1. Why is a woman given a drug without her consent?
2. Why did her doctor suggest a C-section delivery all of a sudden when everything was normal?
3. Why didn’t her doctor, who was a lady and perhaps, someone’s wife or mother, respect her wishes?
This is the story of a lot of women in India, going by the comments on Chhavi’s post.
Source: https://www.instagram.com/chhavihussein/
To all the moms-to-be out there, you deserve good things. Find a gynaecologist whom you can trust. Share your concerns with her. If you have a birthing plan, share that too. Take her opinions on the same and ask about possible complications. If you and your doctor are not on the same page, there will be reasons for the same. Express your concerns and take her advice but find a middle ground. Also, before settling for one, consult two or more doctors. Go with the one whom you can trust, who respects your wishes wholeheartedly, and who can reassure you when you lose your calm.
What happened to Chhavi is harrowing and disturbing and should never happen to any woman again. The wishes of a woman bringing a new life into the world should be respected, and she should be treated with dignity. Doctors should also attend to a pregnant woman with respect and address her concerns without losing their cool. People believe in doctors and are willing to do whatever their doctors suggest, hoping that it would be in their best interests. Hence, it is a doctor’s responsibility to be honest with their patients. A few kind and reassuring words won’t hurt either.
As for Chhavi, we wish her a speedy recovery and a happy and healthy life with her family. Read more
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Periods after Pregnancy
One of the many perks of pregnancy is – no periods for nine months! You will enjoy a nice break from this monthly visitor, and once your baby arrives, you can expect your periods to return anytime. Every woman’s body anatomy and circumstances are different; therefore, there is no exact time limit when you can expect your period back. However, in the following article, we shall discuss all that you need to know about your periods after delivery.
When Will Your Periods Start After Delivery
Many new moms may wonder, after normal delivery when will my periods come? In most cases, you may start off with your menstrual cycle within 6 to 8 weeks after giving birth, if you are not breastfeeding your baby. However, if you are exclusively breastfeeding your baby, you may not have your period till you stop breastfeeding. Here exclusive breastfeeding means that your baby is only on breast milk. Some women may start off with their periods within a couple of months after giving birth, whether breastfeeding or not.
What to Expect From Your First Period After Giving Birth
Bleeding and vaginal discharge are very common after giving birth. Whether you have had a vaginal birth or caesarean delivery, you will experience some amount of vaginal bleeding and discharge after giving birth. This is due to shedding of extrauterine lining and blood that the body had acquired during pregnancy. In the initial stages, you may experience heavy bleeding and clots; however, after a few weeks, the blood gives way to vaginal discharge called lochia. This vaginal discharge can be creamy white to red in colour. You may have this discharge for up to six weeks, and in case you are breastfeeding your baby, you may expect your first menstrual period after birth around this time.
Why Breastfeeding Moms Don't Get Their Periods Quickly
Many moms do not get their periods after delivery while breastfeeding because of change in hormones. The hormone Prolactin, which is present in breastfeeding moms, is required for the production of the milk. This milk-producing hormone suppresses the reproductive hormones. Therefore, in the dearth of reproductive hormones no eggs are released for fertilization. Without the egg, there will be no menstruation, and thus feeding mommies do not get their periods quickly.
How Your Period Will Be Different After Pregnancy
You may experience some changes in your period after pregnancy. This is because your body may be adjusting to your period routine after delivery. You may experience some of the following:
Your period may be more painful than your previous menstrual cycles.
You may have a heavy period after pregnancy in comparison to your usual period.
You may experience scantier or less menstrual flow than your normal period.
You may experience more or less cramping than usual.
You may notice small clots in your period blood.
You may have irregular cycles.
The reason for a heavier period after delivery is the increased uterine lining. The shedding of this lining leads to heavier blood flow. In very rare cases, adenomyosis or thyroid may cause heavy bleeding after giving birth.
On the other hand, women who undergo endometriosis before pregnancy may experience scantier or lighter blood flow after childbirth. There are some other rare medical conditions, such as Asherman’s Syndrome or Sheehan syndrome which may cause lighter bleeding.
How Long Will Your First Period After Giving Birth Last
Your first period after giving birth may last up to five to seven days, which you may be accustomed to. However, some women may experience vaginal bleeding for two to three weeks after giving birth. If you experience vaginal bleeding more than three weeks, it is recommended that you seek medical advice for the same.
How Will You Know if Something is Wrong
If you experience any of the following symptoms, it is suggested to get medical help:
You have fever
You are changing the sanitary pad every hour
You are bleeding continuously for more than a week
You are experiencing severe are sudden bouts of pain
You have foul-smelling discharge
You have bigger blood clots (size of a softball or bigger)
You experience any pain while urinating
You face any trouble in breathing
You have a severe headache
All the above-mentioned may be symptoms of any medical complications such as infection, retained placenta or tubal pregnancy.
Misconceptions About Periods After Childbirth
There are many misconceptions associated with periods after childbirth. Some of these misconceptions are as follows:
Many women assume that the vaginal bleeding right after giving birth is their 1st period after delivery. That is not their first period, but it is postpartum bleeding, which includes expelling of extra fluids, tissues and blood from the body after delivery. The postpartum bleeding may continue for 4 to 6 weeks, and afterwards, your body becomes ready to have the first period.
It is also misunderstood that breastfeeding is a natural form of contraception and you will not get pregnant until the time you are breastfeeding. However, it is not completely true; breastfeeding may only provide 60 percent protection against conception. You have good 40 percent chances of getting pregnant even when you are breastfeeding.
Your body goes under a lot of change in pregnancy, and thus it may take some time for your body to adjust to the usual routine of normal periods. However, if you experience anything out of the ordinary with your menstrual period, it is best to seek medical assistance for the same to avoid any complications.
Also Read: Kegel Exercises after Delivery Read more
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The 7-year Itch - 6 Reasons Most Couples Consider Divorce in the 7th Year
Ideally, marriages are meant to last for a lifetime - after all, you are promising your partner that you’ll spend the rest of your life with them no matter what the situation. And in the Indian society where divorce is still a much-stigmatised issue, the chances of partners (especially women) walking out on a marriage, however troublesome, isn’t extremely common, although the trend is now seeing a change. So, does that mean every marriage you know of is a truly happy one or have the partners just learned to adjust with each other’s flaws after years of togetherness? Now, we’re not saying that behind every happy couple lies an unhappy truth they’re hiding, no, not at all! But did you know that in a marriage, the 7th year counts as the make-or-break point when most couples consider divorce? If you and your partner are soon approaching the 7-year benchmark, don’t stop reading!
What is the 7-year Itch?
A psychological term for the decline of a relationship or marriage by the 7-year mark, it actually originated as the title of a 1955 Hollywood film. While the term in the movie meant dissatisfaction in a marriage after 7 years, the concept has since evolved and has become an umbrella term to include dissatisfaction over a long period of time in different matters - a job, the place someone lives in, etc. Again, in the traditional Indian context, where the concept of divorce itself is not so common, this doesn’t mean that you’ll be giving up on your marriage and walk out on the 7th anniversary of the occasion. But this phenomenon has been seen to have the backing of scientific data, so it’s definitely not just a silly fable or concept either!
In a few studies conducted, it was seen that tension between partners rose to the breaking point usually around the 7th year of marriage, due to which divorce rates were higher. In fact, data samples taken from 1922 to 1990 actually showed that the median duration of marriages in the United States hovered around the 7-year mark, be it 6.6 in 1992, 7.5 in 1974, or 7.2 in 1990. In recent years, however, the time span seems to have reduced further to have come down to 4 years. It was also seen in a study conducted by the late Dr Lawrence A. Kurdek, a psychologist at the Wright State University in Ohio, that people with kids were more likely to experience a dip in their marital happiness around the 4th and 7th year! The first dip was mainly due to the ‘honeymoon phase’ wearing off while the second had more to do with the arrival of kids, whereby prioritising them and their needs took precedence over working on the marital relationship.
6 Reasons why People Consider Divorce in the 7th Year of Marriage
So why is it that your relationship with your partner might just falter around the 7th year of marriage in particular? Read on to find out some of the reasons.
1. You crack due to the monotony of your days.
By the 7th year, you’ve been married for a while, have a child or two, and basically, have had your roles change from being ‘partners’ to ‘parents’. Especially when your life centers around your kids, it becomes difficult to concentrate on your marital relationship, right? Your kids’ needs come first, your schedule revolves around them, your conversations are about them - you know what it’s like. After a point, the monotony of the same old routine can get to you, which you tend to take out on the marriage, because of the lack of a new or interesting avenue to channel your frustration.
2. You take your partner for granted.
Remember how in the beginning of your relationship, you’d look for any opportunity to shower love and affection on your partner? Sweet gestures like cooking special dinners every night, going off on long drives, dressing up just because your partner would love it, you probably did them all. Think back now - when was the last time you took an effort to impress your partner or make them happy? Seems like a long time ago, doesn’t it? While taking each other for granted does show that you’re secure enough with your partner to do so, it also could show that you’re not willing to take efforts to make your marriage feel special.
3. You rarely talk about anything other than the kids.
While you’re thinking about stuff, here’s one more thing to ponder on - when have you made the time to sit next to your partner, hold hands, and simply talk about something other than the kids recently? Do you know what’s going on in their lives, at work or with their friends or similar things? Do they know what’s going on in yours? Basically, are you living two different lives under the same roof? If so, there’s a good chance you feel like you’re doing things by yourself and can feel lonely and bored.
4. Additionally, you keep stuff bottled up.
At the beginning of a marriage, you may be a little shy about bringing up a lot of things, something that changes as you become more comfortable with your partner. But a few years with them can also make you purse your lips about certain things you feel there’s no point talking about. This can be about anything - dissatisfaction with your current situation, any physical or mental frustration you’re facing, even things about your sexual relationship. Keeping little things to yourself is always fine, they can be your little secrets. But if you’ve reached a point where you’re lying about stuff just to maintain peace or avoid confrontation, there is a problem.
5. You don’t have any common interests.
You’re two different people so of course, you’re not going to have the exact same personality and interests. But if you don’t even make the effort to try and take up at least one of each other’s interests, you’re simply creating a bigger gap between you and your partner. While having alone time is a wonderful thing for both partners, it shouldn’t be that you’re always looking to spend time alone and away from each other!
6. You both handle life at different paces.
You and your partner may see the concept of time from two different angles - what may seem like ‘too fast’ for you may seem like ‘too long’ for your partner, and vice-versa! Especially at a point when you or your partner feel like you’re stuck in a rut or that things are not really moving along as expected, this point of view differs. For example, if you’re all too patient and can wait for as long as needed for something to happen, for you, time might be pacing along just fine. But this logic won’t apply to your partner if they’re someone who likes things getting done quickly without much of a waiting time. So what might seem like a short phase of boredom to you might seem like a never-ending one to your partner. This is probably why there’s a lack of effort put into reviving the marriage, or why one may feel that things are fine while the other is panicking over how slowly things are progressing.
How You Can Get Over the ‘7-year Itch’
For your marriage to successfully move past the ‘7-year’ hurdle, you need to be quite conscious of the role you play in your marriage. Don’t think of the effort you’ll have to put in as ‘hard work’; think of it more like ‘paying attention’ to your relationship. If it’s worthy of keeping in your life, there is some fighting you’ll have to do for it!
1. Remember why you’re grateful for your partner.
Taking someone for granted happens when you’re so used to their presence in your life that you don’t realise their value. But that should never be the case! Your partner is your strength and backbone and the parent of your children, so the role they play in your life isn’t something to dismiss as unimportant. Remember with gratitude what they’ve meant to you and have done for you. And then, be vocal about it - go tell them why you’re so grateful to have them in your life! Also, it’s time for those romantic gestures to make a reappearance in your lives! Little things like planning a simple date night can help you and your partner cherish your relationship and climb out of that rut!
2. Realise that the ‘perfect’ relationship doesn’t exist.
It’s quite easy to compare your life to that of someone else, especially when they post all about it on social media. But it’s important to remember that behind the #couplegoals pictures you see lie two people who are just like you - human, imperfect, and with their fair share of problems. Just because they’re not putting their issues on display doesn’t mean they have everything you want! If anything, they could be wishing for what you have - you never know! Stop pressuring yourself to attain perfection in your relationship; it already is beautiful and special!
3. Communicate!
Proper and regular communication to strengthen a relationship isn’t just a cliche, people! Keeping niggling issues to yourself and going over them excessively and obsessively is neither helpful to your partner, nor to you. It’s time to open up and have that honest conversation. Put it all out in the open - you and your partner are both mature enough to have a real discussion or a productive argument, where you can find solutions to issues. Similarly, in the case where both of you tend to process time differently, there’s nothing a heartfelt conversation can’t fix. After all, you guys have made it this far successfully, haven’t you?
4. Find yourself some much-deserved ‘me-time’.
If you’re constantly feeling bored and complain that there’s nothing new or exciting happening in your life, it’s time to take charge of the situation yourself. After all, no one else can do this for you! Find time for yourself, even if it’s just half an hour a day to do something you love. Me-time has been highly chanted about but it isn’t overrated at all - you’ll see when you experience it!
5. Find yourself some much-deserved ‘couple time’ as well!
Doing an activity that both of you love, together, is important to forge and strengthen your friendship with your partner. It gives you something to talk about or something to look forward to; it becomes your 'something special'! Take up a common hobby and designate a fixed time for it so that you’re regularly indulging in ‘couple time’ with your partner. While you’re at it, ‘couple time’ can also mean simply dedicating time to sit with each other, cuddle, talk, and just be intimate with each other.
The above reasons for why relationships face a strain around the 7-year mark may not sound like incredibly strong reasons over which a marriage can actually break. And you know what, they shouldn’t be either! After all, you and your partner have been together, happily for that matter, all these years and there’s no reason that it shouldn’t continue. No matter how long it’s been and who’s come into your life - remember, you’re partners as much as you’re parents! 4 years, 7 years or 25 years, it doesn’t really matter. You’re in it for the long run and it’s going to be a beautiful journey!
Also Read:
Signs That You're Actually in a Good MarriageWays You Can Show Respect to Your PartnerImportance of Communication in a Marriage Read more
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Back to Office after a Long Career Break?
Most women think that returning to work after a career break is tough. But, good planning and a positive attitude can help you get back on your feet. Don't let the break mar your ambition. Let it motivate you instead.
You took a break from your work to enjoy marital bliss and bring up your kids. Now, that you're all settled in, do you often think of getting back to work? Are you nervous about fitting in again after so much time has passed? Going back to work after a long break is not easy but it hasn't stopped women from trying and succeeding in their careers. A little planning and lots of confidence is what you need to kick-start your career again.
Things to Consider Before Returning to Work
Take Stock of the Situation
One of the first questions put to you when you seek out new employment after a break is why you took it and what you did during this period. The next concern could be the number of hours you can work and how far you're ready to travel as all this would affect your personal life. This can be a tricky one to answer because you don't want to spend too much time away from your children. While a career is important, ask yourself whether you're willing to make such a sacrifice. Weigh your options and then consider getting back to work.
Boost Your Self-esteem
The career break you took was necessary and wholly rewarding. What could be better than spending time with your brood and being a part of their lives? Still, the break could've left you out of sync with the latest developments in technology. What you should do is update your knowledge by teaching yourself or taking some classes. You can also use the time to assess your skills to understand where your strengths lie. This can help reinstate your belief in yourself and help you look for a suitable job.
Revamp Your CV
In between cuddles, laughs, and playtime with the kids, take time to revamp your CV. Include a short description of what you did while you were on a break. In case you weren't working, list down some significant experiences that would prove essential for the jobs you apply to. For instance, maybe you brushed up on your typing skills at home and can now hit 60 words a minute.
Network
The best way to find a job when you're returning to work after a career break is to contact old colleagues and employers who know your credentials and work ethics. You can use social media to your advantage too. Float your CV and it shouldn't be long before you make a hit.
Getting back to work after a career break is not all that difficult. It just needs a little preparation for you to believe in yourself. Go ahead, gear up to find the job you want and make yourself and your family proud. Read more
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
10 hours ago
Q. #AskTheExpert hello dr.
baby planning kar rhi kuch tips btayiye conceive ho jaye
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
10 hours ago
A. it's a natural process ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
8 hours ago
Q. when baby is kick? I'm 13 weeks pregnant
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
8 hours ago
A. during first pregnancy you may feel the baby movements after 24 to 25 weeks of pregnancy and till then only mild flatters may be felt but which you may not be feeling if you are doing some work
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
8 hours ago
Q. I’m in my 31 week 1 day of pregnancy. What will be my delivery date??
As I have low lying placenta with grade 1 maturity.
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
7 hours ago
A. you had to correlate is ultrasound examination. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
8 hours ago
Q. My hemoglobin is 6.4 from 28 weeks of pregnancy. Now I’m 31 weeks pregnant. What should I do?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
7 hours ago
A. Haven’t when you having some kind of iron supplement because they’re very good during the time of pregnancy if you are not having one you need to start with and whatever tabs you take you should just take it with any good juice specially pomegranate juice that’s going to help in doubling the impact of the medicine that you’re taking secondly try and include more of Iron which diet like spinach broccoli beetroot pomegranate black rice sweet potato these things are exceptionally healthy for you to consume
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
7 hours ago
Q. This is my cbc report
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
7 hours ago
A. No there is nothing visible on my wall so I can really really cannot help you can you please repose the question once again providing all the necessary details as once I’m certain what are you talking about what’s mentioned in the report according to that I can provide you proper help on your question
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
5 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert
now I'm 24 weeks. Sometimes I'm feeling pain in my thigh.
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
5 hours ago
A. For thegh query asked needs consultation with doctor for proper guidance so it is better that the doctor will guide you the correct way .
Onlfine consultation can also be taken and the expert will give you the proper answer .
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