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Is Your Insecurity Ruining Your Marriage – 7 Ways To Tackle It
Is insecurity ruining your relationship with your partner? Then this article is for you. Read on to find out signs of insecurity, reasons why insecurity arises in relationships, and ways to deal with it.
Everyone likes to feel confident, self-assured, like they’ve got it all together. And yet everybody will accept having behaved foolishly (or have been at the receiving end of such behaviour) at some point in their relationships because they felt... threatened. While people may be reasonable adults in their social lives, they can act quite the contrary in relationships. At the base of this contradiction is the one word we all feel scared to look in the eye – insecurity.
There’s hardly ever a man or woman that walked this planet that didn’t ever feel insecure. And yet, we do very little to understand what’s really happening when we feel insecure. Let’s try and do it now.
6 Signs You Are Insecure in Your Relationship
Before we try to understand why we feel insecure in relationships, let’s first identify whether or not we are insecure in the first place. Here are 6 cardinal signs of insecurity in a relationship.
1. “Gimme that phone!”
You don’t really know what you are looking for – but you know you want to see their phone. It could be messages, pictures, old emails, social-media inboxes, or just going through their social media network – followers, friend lists, and so on.
If you keep checking your partner’s phone every chance you get, it is a sure sign of insecurity. When you don’t get to do it, it bothers you. And when your partner refuses to give it to you, it makes you doubt their fidelity, commitment, and love.
2. “Don’t leave me!”
If you are the kind of person that wants to do everything with their partner, and also wants the partner to do everything with them, it is a sure sign of insecurity. At the base of this constant urge to touch base with your partner is a deep-rooted sense of mistrust. It’s often not about the urge to do everything together, so much as it is about wanting to always keep tabs on your partner. If they’re always with you, they can’t be with anybody else, right?
3. “Do you still love me?”
Ever find yourself going on a ‘poor me’ pity-trip, where you feel bad about yourself – thinking about all the sacrifices you made all your life, and how you never really did what you wanted to do? Most people will turn to their partners when they feel low. But if you constantly find yourself looking at your partner to comfort you and tell you how much they love you and how you are the best person ever and how you will never ever leave them... take it as a sign of insecurity.
4. “Was that your ex?”
Times have changed, and it is quite common for partners to have been with someone else before they finally ended up with each other. But if you catch yourself thinking about the insignificant other person that is actually nothing but your partner’s past, more often that you find yourself thinking about your present and future... not only is it a sign of insecurity, but also a deep injustice to a committed partner.
5. “You still suck!”
An interesting aspect of insecurity is that it actually stems from low self-esteem. If you think you are not good enough, you are admitting to the possibility of your partner finding someone better. So you try to always feel better than your partner – like they hit the jackpot, and should be thanking their stars they found you! And the one way you do this... is by always demeaning them, and pulling them down.
6. “You’re having an affair, aren’t you?”
The ultimate sign of insecurity is the feeling that your partner is out there with someone else. Most spouses will admit to thinking of this ‘other person’ as prettier, richer, sexier, than they themselves are, validating their doubt over their partner’s fidelity.
When it comes to adultery, the adulterer is almost always sentenced ‘guilty’ – irrespective of the circumstance and reasons for their actions. This puts the other partner up on a pedestal... giving them a reason to be mean to their significant other. It still holds true that constantly accusing your partner of having an affair is a sign of insecurity.
6 Reasons You Could Be Insecure
It could be something as innocent as going to a different room in the house to have a conversation on the phone because the reception is poor, or something as simple as not wanting to have sex because of overpowering feelings of exhaustion – the triggers for feelings of insecurity in relationships are often external, and superficial.
The single-most significant cause of insecurity is fear.
Psychologically speaking, fear guides many of our instincts and behavioural tendencies: we store food in the house because we fear we may not get any later, we put helmets on our heads and fasten seat-belts because we fear death, and we run away from confrontations because we fear hurting and/or losing people.
However, this underlying fear manifests in different ways for different people, giving rise to different causes of insecurity in a relationship.
1. You felt neglected growing up.
While ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, psychologically speaking there is only one primary caregiver, with whom the child shares a very strong bond. Every time the child is in some kind of need or crisis, he turns to this person.
However, life is such now, that this person may not always be available: nuclear families and working parents (both mothers and fathers) make it really difficult to be there for your child every time they want you, even if it may be our moral obligation. This can at times, breed feelings of neglect in children, if not handled wisely by the parents. And childhood neglect often manifests as insecurities and clinginess in adulthood.
2. You are carrying baggage from your past experiences.
Did some boyfriend some time in high-school cheat on you? Did you ever get dumped for your prettier hot bestie? Did either of your parents cheat on their partner? Every person comes with baggage, and the more the age of a person (when they first meet somebody), the more the baggage. So maybe your insecurities are in fact a classic case of “Once bitten, twice shy!”.
3. You think you got more than you deserve.
We’ve all been there – young, single, and crushing on someone whom we thought was waaay out of our league! While age and experience bring a certain confidence with is, that enables us to permanently dismiss such feeling os low self-worth, some people can carry these inferiority complexes way into their adulthood. And then, getting married to someone whom you think is more than you – more successful, more good-looking, more beautiful, more loveable, more popular, more anything really – can become a problem.
4. Your partner does not know your boundaries and preferences.
A lot of times, we avoid telling our partners what works for us (and what ticks us off), because we don’t want to sound ‘controlling’ or ‘dominating’. So we give them a free hand, loose reigns... and then get mad when things get out of control! Every person has boundaries – ‘You can be in touch with your ex, but I need to know what’s happening’, or ‘Yes she is your colleague, but no bringing her home for dinner’ – and if they are reasonable (and reasonably communicated), a lot of insecurites can be avoided. But, sadly, this communication almost never happens for most couples.
5. You are a perfectionist.
This one is a bit tricky to understand, but try. If you are a perfectionist, anything less than your gold standard is not good enough for you. When it comes to achieving goals, this might be a positive thing (although it can get in the way of achieving goals too). However, the desire to be perfect might negatively impact your self-worth – every time you make a mistake, you beging to lose your own credibility in your own mind. While your partner might be completely satisfied – even ecstatic – with you, your lowered self-worth could make you think like they are going to leave you any moment now. In fact, you begin to anticipate it. The surest way to recognise this is by watching out for ‘I knew it!’ responses – do you ever respond to possible signs of infidelity with ‘I knew this was gonna happen!’?
6. Your instincts are screaming ‘Betrayal!’ to you.
Sometimes, insecurities can, in fact, be disguised ‘intuition’. Intuition is the power of your brain to know things... without knowing ‘why’. (Technically, you do know ‘why’, but only on a subconscious level – not everybody can retrieve these thoughts. However, it is safe to say that intuitions should be given due importance). So if you are getting insecure about your partner – and if you know yourself to NOT be that kind of person who is always suspicious – chances are that it is not insecurity but intuition.
7 Tips on Overcoming Insecurity in a Relationship
Having identified the signs and causes of insecurity, let us now get down to weeding it out of our system.
1. Identify the root-cause.
As discussed above, rarely is the other partner’s behaviour (or their actions) at the root of feelings of insecurity. Behaviours and/or actions only prove to be a trigger point that dig out insecurities from within. So work on identifying the root cause of your insecurity, and then work on rooting it out of your system. If required, work with a marriage counsellor (or simply a psychologist) in order to gain more clarity and understanding.
2. Voice your concerns.
Once you start working on yourself, enroll your partner to help you. One of the easiest ways to work on your insecurities is to approach them with an open and understanding approach, rather than anger, guilt or shame. Identify the specific external triggers of your insecurity – and ask your partner to help you by consciously avoiding the things that fuel the fire... at least till you learn to deal with it.
3. Do things independently.
This line of action works on improving your self-worth. Realise that you are enough, in and of yourself, and you do not need a man, woman, relationship, kids, family, to justify your existence or how awesome you are. While labels give you identity, they also limit it. Engage your me-time positively – expand your personality, do things that make you happy, and realise you are more than a significant other.
4. Realise – you are hurting your partner.
When you question a truly committed and faithful partner owing to your insecurities, when you doubt their loyalty and fidelity because you can’t get over or past the doubt in your mind, you are hurting an honest person. Do they deserve it?
5. Give ‘time’ time.
Insecurities make us act... silly. We do stupid things because insecurities blur our perspective. So when you feel the compulsive need to explode, armed with all your investigation and sarcastic comebacks, come back a few steps. Give time some time to do its magic, and show you that there was no reason to feel insecure. Most conflicts between couples can be avoided if only both act wisely and hit the pause button instead of instantly acting/reacting every single time.
6. Turn the focus elsewhere.
How about not over-analysing every single move, word and behaviour of your partner? Turn your focus and detective energies elsewhere! Find something stimulating and engaging to do...
and cut your partner some slack. Realise that your partner – while being your partner – is also an individual, and just because they have chosen to be with you does not bind them to be a complete 100% transparent with you. Privacy can, and should, exist even in couples.
7. Nurture other relationships.
Our biggest mistake in romantic relationships is: we expect one person to cater to all our needs – physical, mental, emotional and social. This is going to be a recipe for disaster for any relationship – not just romantic relationships! The only way to stop yourself from doing this is by nurturing other relationships in your life, and not making your romantic relationship the epicentre of your world. Invest time, energy, effort, feelings in your friends, work, family, in-laws, children, hobbies even!
Understanding Your Partner’s Insecurity
While the previous section talked about how you can deal with your own insecurity, being self-assured is not enough to make a relationship work. It is equally common for people to find themselves stuck with an insecure husband or wife!
Part of the reason some insecurities are more often and strongly felt by a certain gender is because of the stereotypes we have created: men should be macho sex-machines, who are always confident and self-assured, while women are supposed to be giving, loving, caring, and selfless, eternal reservoirs of love and understanding.
Then, we are also fed stereotypes about the opposite gender: women just want the more rich, successful, and sexy man, while men can and will stray if you don’t give them sex every time they want it.
As a person, you may have risen above this. But what do you do, when you’re not to blame? How do you deal with an insecure husband or wife?
How to Deal with Insecurities in Husbands
Common things husbands are insecure about include –
their wife’s past
their wife’s guy-friends
in case of working women, their colleagues and bosses
their performance in bed (and how it matches up to their wife’s ex-lover/s)
becoming the topic of discussion at their wife’s kitty-party
revealing private details about them, and your relationship, to outsiders (like a close friend)
As ridiculous as some of the above reasons may sound, be assured that in a man’s mind, these are all very legit and real concerns, fears and insecurities.
One of the important things to remember, when thinking about how to deal with an insecure husband, is: you should never ever mention a third person while having the conversation. So no saying ‘Even Neha told me’, or ‘My dad used to do the same thing’, or ‘This is exactly why I left Rahul’. If you don’t want him to keep digging your past up, you have to stop doing it yourself too. So refrain from ever doing this.
Having said that, the easiest way to comfort a man is through positive reaffirmations. Remind him why you chose him, why you love him, why this was one of the best choices/decisions you made in your life – and don’t do it for the sake of doing it. Say these things with conviction. But make sure you don’t make a habit of it! Try and also help your partner to realise by themselves that their insecurity is baseless!
How to Deal with Insecurities in Wives
Common things wives are insecure about include –
colleagues and subordinates
fulfilling the husband’s sexual desires every single time
not being heard
husband not giving them enough time
age and ageing
Yes fellas, these are legit things many women feel insecure about. The easiest way to ease your wife out of her pain is to make her feel heard. When she talks, listen. And NO, do not immediately provide solutions or try to solver her problems unless she asks you to. Second, ask her before you put the moods on her. This is not so much about consent as about understanding that sometimes, they just don’t want to – just like you don’t want to.
As a parting thought, we would like to beseech all couple to approach their and/or their partner’s insecurities with the intention of understanding rather than criticising or blaming. Insecurities can be worked through, so don’t give up! Read more
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Common Toilet Training Problems in Young Children with Solutions
For parents, potty training their kids is one of those activities that makes them worry with fear. Having seen your child poop and pee in his diapers all this while, shifting that to the pot can be quite a challenge. There are numerous toddler potty training problems that you might come across, and the results of each one of those will be disturbing for everyone around. That being said, training your child to use the potty sooner than later is extremely important and cannot be taken lightly.
What Is the Normal Age for Potty Training
Potty training is an aspect that varies from kid to kid. Some kids are potty trained by the time they are a year and a half. While others take their own sweet time and embrace the pot by the time they reach 3 or 4 years of age.
Potty Training Problems and Their Solutions
Many parents compare potty training to an army regiment. Although the comparison might be far-fetched, there is a certain degree of discipline required in doing so. And that is purely due to the variety of problems you might face when training your little one to use the pot.
1. In Presence of Parents
Some fortunate parents have kids who are ready to use the pot anywhere. But these kids agree to do so only when a parent is with them, and not in the presence of any other person.
Solution
Instead of making him comfortable with using the pot in the presence of another person, gradually remove yourself from the equation. Once your child is on the pot, lightly close the door and tell him that you are waiting outside.
2. Wetting the Bed
This is usually the number one complaint of most parents. The bladder of a kid is not matured enough to hold the urine through the night or even for a few more minutes than usual, hence they wet the bed while asleep.
Solution
It is best to inculcate the habit of urinating before proceeding to sleep. If your child does want to pee in the middle of the night, keep the bathroom light on so that he won't feel scared to go to the bathroom alone.
3. Asks for a Diaper
Many kids don't use the pot but they ask their parents for a diaper when they want to poop. Your child could go to a corner of the house and poop alone until he is done.
Solution
Advise him to start pooping in the toilet with the diaper on. Once he gets comfortable with the place, you can ask him to use the pot instead of a diaper.
4. Pooping After Getting Off the Pot
Your child may listen to you and get on the pot to pee or poop. But he might fail to do either, only to wet his pants or soil them right after he gets down from the pot.
Solution
There might be a psychological side to this but it is also due to the inability of kids to control their excretory muscles at a young age. Pooping problems during potty training can be due to constipation as well. However, you must make him sit for a while even if he refuses to sit. He may throw tantrums now and then, but slowly he will get used to it and start peeing and pooping in the pot.
5. Crying After Flushing
Some children have known to get sad or start crying when they flush their poop. The feeling of strong attachment might make him avoid pooping in the pot altogether.
Solution
Compare the poop with spit or nasal mucous or even pee and let him know that these need to be disposed off properly.
6. An Unfortunate Accident
Right when your child gets used to the seat, he might slip off the pot and hurt himself, causing him to stay away from using the pot altogether.
Solution
Treat an accident just like an accident. Don’t punish your child for it. Calm him down and treat the matter in a light-hearted manner so as to take his mind off it. And after a few days train him again.
7. Boys Wanting to Sit and Pee
In the early stages, your little boy might want to sit on the pot when he pees. This could be because he might not want to risk pooping accidentally or just not feeling confident about peeing standing up.
Solution
Let him pee in that manner and teach him to stand and pee after he gets used to it. If you are outside, go to a urinal together and let him see how everyone pees while standing.
8. Fear of Falling
The wide opening of the pot might make your child feel that he will fall into it or will have his butt sucked in if he accidentally flushes it. Some kids might actually be scared of the noise of the toilet flushing itself as well.
Solution
Start by flushing pieces of paper and show him how the toilet actually works. He will be fine with it after a few uses.
9. Playing With Poop
Some extremely curious kids tend to indulge in playing with the poop. This could easily get out of hand if they refuse to listen to you.
Solution
Nip this in bud without scolding your child. A firm no right away should do the trick.
10. Can Poop But Cannot Pee
Your child may be able to tell you when he wants to poop and rush to use the loo. However, the same might not happen for peeing, leading him to wet his pants as well as the bed.
Solution
Your child may not have bladder control early in life and would not recognize the need to pee until it is too late. Don’t fret. Let the potty training continue as it is and this phase shall pass.
Problems Associated with Late Toilet Training
Out of the numerous potty training problems, holding it in might just be one of those that is dangerous. But delaying the training can have disastrous results as well. Here are some problems that may arise if you delay the toilet training.
The inability to control pooping and peeing could cause your child to stay away from participating in various activities in the school.
Delayed training can leave a child with the weak bladder and lack of bowel control for many years.
The embarrassment and shaming of the child when he wets his pants in public can affect his self-esteem and mental health.
Tips to Prevent Toilet Training Problems
To prevent certain toilet training problems in 4-year-old kids and many others, there are a few tips you can put to use.
Don’t tell your child to force out the poop unnecessarily.
Try to establish a schedule of visiting the loo at fixed times.
Teach your child to wash his butt and genitals the right way.
Include numerous fluids and fibrous foods in your child's diet to prevent constipation.
Teach the etiquettes of using the toilet seat.
Never scold your child for not using the pot correctly.
Combine potty training by singing a song or telling a story while he poops.
Start slowly and gradually increase the use of pot.
Who Can Help You With Potty Training Problems
If you’re facing problems in getting your child to use the pot, there’s no harm in asking for help. Your paediatrician can be your first point-of-contact, as he can provide you with some simple tips. If your child has developmental delays, opting for a therapist’s advice or getting a child psychologist to advise you can be helpful as well.
Child potty training problems are plenty. You will come across several new challenges when you start training your kid. Being patient and understanding is the key to the process and your child will start using the pot by himself soon.
Also Read: Toilet Training Tips for Girls Read more
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Your Baby This Week : 4 Month Week 1 Old
Kids love to look themselves in the mirror. Hold your baby in front of a mirror and take a look at his expressions. He does not understand that it’s his own reflection until he’s about 7 or 8 months old. You can be early to get a push from an over-zealous grandmother, or friends with young children to introduce solids. Make sure to wait until the 6 month mark.
Read more
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These 6 Warm Desserts are Perfect for Cold Winter Nights
It’s almost that time of the year - to be all bundled up in warm layers and keep away from anything that isn’t at room temperature! Winter nights can be mildly chilly to downright freezing, and the cold weather does have a tendency to bring down your spirits as well. But there’s nothing a nice sweet delicacy can’t fix, is there? Treat your taste buds to these warm desserts that you can devour during a chilly night!
6 Dessert Recipes for Winter Nights
Here are some recipes you can try to fix yourself a nice treat. Some of these may be a little time-consuming or may take effort, but hey, at least you get to work up a sweat before digging into your dessert!
1. Creamy Rice Pudding
Hearty and comforting, this pudding is easy to make and will fill you up too! It takes about 15 minutes to make and can serve 4 people.
Ingredients
Uncooked white rice - ¾ cup (short or medium grain rice)
Milk - 2 cups, separately measured out
White sugar - ⅓ cup
Salt - ¼ teaspoon
Egg - 1, beaten
Raisins - ⅔ cups
Butter - 1 tablespoon
Vanilla extract - Few drops
How to Prepare
Start off by boiling 1½ cups of water in a medium saucepan. Add the rice to this water and stir.
Bring the heat down. Cover the saucepan and let it simmer for 20 minutes.
Combine the cooked rice with the sugar, salt, and 1½ cups of milk in another saucepan.
Let it cook over medium heat until it gains a thick and creamy consistency, in about 15 to 20 minutes.
Add the remaining milk, the egg, and raisins. Make sure that the heat is on low so that the egg doesn’t cook.
Stir the mixture continuously for 2 more minutes. Take the pan off the stove and add the butter and vanilla extract. Serve warm.
2. Gulab Jamuns
Gulab jamun is technically an all-weather dessert, because who can ever say no to it? Even so, there’s something special about a bowl of piping hot gulab jamuns on a cold night, isn’t there! While gulab jamuns are traditionally made with khoya, this recipe is an easier version for those who don’t have access to the same. Make note that the recipe has to be followed exactly to yield the right results; the maida-to-milk-powder ratio is crucial in producing soft gulab jamuns.
Ingredients
For the Sugar Syrup
Sugar - 1 cup
Water - 1 cup
Powdered cardamom - 3
Lemon juice - 1 tablespoon
For the Gulab Jamuns
Full cream milk powder - 9 tablespoons
Plain flour (Maida) - 3½ tablespoons
Semolina (Rava) - 1 tablespoon
Lemon juice - 1 teaspoon
Ghee - 1 teaspoon
Warm milk - 4 tablespoons
A pinch of baking soda
Pistachios or almonds to garnish (thinly sliced)
How to Prepare
Sugar Syrup
Pour out a cup of sugar into a wide saucepan. Add the water to the sugar and bring to a boil.
Let the mixture simmer for around 4 minutes. You’ll notice that the syrup turns slightly sticky.
Add the powdered cardamom and the lemon juice. The juice helps the syrup stop crystallising.
Take off the heat and keep the syrup aside, covered.
Gulab Jamun
Transfer the milk powder to a large bowl. Add the maida and rava to this, and the baking soda as well.
Add the ghee and lemon juice to the bowl. Mix well.
Slowly start adding the milk in small amounts, and at intervals, knead the mixture as you’re adding the milk. Knead until you have a soft and smooth dough.
Apply some ghee on your hands to grease them. Form small balls with the dough. Make sure there are no cracks on these balls as the jamuns can break while frying.
Heat some ghee on a low flame; take enough to fry the jamuns in. When the ghee is moderately hot, fry a jamun tester. If cracks develop and the ball breaks, add a teaspoon more of maida to the dough and knead it well.
Fry the rest of the balls on a low flame until they turn golden brown. Once they’re out, drain them of the ghee and drop them immediately in the sugar syrup so that they can absorb the syrup.
Let the balls remain in the syrup for 2 hours, covered. Once they’re ready, you will see an increase in size as well.
Serve warm, of course!
3. Chocolate Mug Cake
Chocolate lovers who’re looking to whip up a quick and decadent dessert, look no further!
Ingredients
Flour - ¼ cup
Milk - 3 tablespoons
White sugar - ¼ cup
Unsweetened cocoa powder - 2 tablespoons
Baking soda - ⅛ teaspoon
Salt - ⅛ teaspoon
Sunflower oil - 2 tablespoons
Water - 1 tablespoon
Vanilla extract - ¼ teaspoon
How to Prepare
In a large microwave-safe mug, mix together all the dry ingredients.
Once the dry ingredients have been blended well, mix together with the wet ingredients.
Cook in the microwave for about 1 minute and 45 seconds (up until the cake is done in the middle). Add chocolate chips for additional decadence!
4. Moong Dal Ka Halwa
Indulgence tastes so good - but may need a bit of patience and elbow grease! Try this popular halwa recipe when you have some time and energy to spare.
Ingredients
Small yellow lentils / Moong dal - 1 cup
Ghee - ¾ cup
Mawa - ¾ cup
Almonds - 2 tablespoons, chopped
Sugar - 1¼ cup
Cardamom - 1 teaspoon, powdered
Milk - ¼ cup (to be divided)
Saffron strands - 1 teaspoon
How to Prepare
Soak the lentils overnight for around 12 to 15 hours. Crush the soaked lentils in a mixer or with a grinding stone to form a thick paste. Avoid adding water while grinding the lentils.
Keep aside a tablespoon of warm milk infused with a few strands of saffron.
In a deep-bottomed pan, heat some ghee. Add the dal paste to it and saute well. The dal slowly absorbs the ghee and starts to form a dough-like consistency. It also changes to a light brown colour.
Once the ghee starts to come away from the sides of the pan, add the mawa and keep stirring while maintaining medium heat.
Add the remaining milk (including the saffron-infused portion) and stir for another 2 to 3 minutes. Add in the cardamom powder and chopped nuts.
Add the entire portion of sugar to the mixture and continue stirring till it blends in perfectly. The entire process should take around 35-40 minutes.
Serve the halwa warm. You can also store this for up to two weeks in an airtight container placed in the refrigerator, to relish if your halwa-cravings are to strike again soon! You can also try different variations with carrots, pumpkin, beetroot, etc.
5. Steamed Bread Pudding
Refine a yummy and familiar dish with a simple syrup!
Ingredients
For Caramel Sauce
Sugar - 3 tablespoons
Water - 3 teaspoons
For Bread Pudding
Whole milk - 1½ cups
Sugar - ¼ cup
Bread - 4 to 6 slices (depending on how thick or thin they are)
Eggs - 2
Vanilla extract - 1 teaspoon
Butter or ghee (to brush the sides of the bowl)
A pinch of salt
Raisins - 8 to 10
How to Prepare
Prepare the caramel sauce by melting together the sugar and water on medium heat and cooking it till it turns a golden colour. Ensure that you do not burn it.
Pour the prepared sauce into bowls that can be placed in a pressure cooker. Swirl the bowl to make sure that the caramel coats it well, and brush it with some butter and ghee.
For the pudding, start off by heating milk and sugar (no need to boil the mixture). Chop up the bread and add the pieces to the milk. Stir it well and let the bread soak up all the milk.
Beat eggs separately and then add it to the pan with the milk-soaked bread. Blend it together to prepare a custard. Add the vanilla extract and salt to this mixture.
Pour the mixture into the bowls, but only around ⅔rd of the way. In the pressure cooker, place the bowl(s) over a stand, covered with a foil lightly (make sure to cut in some steam vents in the foil before placing it in the cooker). Once the cooker is covered, place the weight and cook the pudding on medium-heat first. After a single whistle, lower the heat and allow the pudding to cook for 20 to 25 minutes.
Once the pudding is cooked and cooled, invert it on to a plate. Enjoy!
6. Chocolate Momos
A sweet twist on the savoury delicacy? Yes, please!
Ingredients
Flour - 2 cups
Salt - ½ teaspoons
Dark chocolate - ¾ cup, chopped
Warm water
How to Prepare
Prepare a dough by mixing together flour and salt, and water at regular intervals. The dough should be soft but not sticky.
Make small balls from the dough and roll them out into individual sheets or discs.
Place a portion of the chocolate on each disc. Use some water to seal together the edges of the disc.
Steam the momos for a couple of minutes or fry them off in odourless oil till they’re nice and crispy! Try not to be making these every so often, which you may, considering how easy they are to make!
How good do these desserts sound? Good enough to push off the winter blues and get to making them, that’s for sure! Read more
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Everything You Need to Know About Postnatal Exercise
Congratulations! After nine months of anticipation and preparation, you're finally a new mom. At this point, you're probably beaming with excitement — but don't push yourself trying to get back into the normal swing of things just yet. Regaining your strength and normal physique is going to take some time and patience, but it does come with a ton of benefits.
Getting regular exercise after giving birth not only gives you a helpful boost of energy and less stress, but it also equips you with better health to perform your new mum duties. However, don't forget to take it easy on your body and keep in mind that there are some precautions to take to ensure you stay safe.
Wait for Your Six-week Postnatal Check-up Before Breaking in a Sweat Again
Generally, you should wait until your six-week postnatal checkup to see if you’re clear to start exercising again. You don’t want complications such as postpartum depression or haemorrhages to get in the way. It might also take longer if you had a caesarean birth, as your body will need more time to recover. It will also depend on your fitness habits and how conditioned your body is prior to the birth of your baby.
Start Slowly
Of course, there’s no pressure to hit the gym again just yet. Getting back into shape could mean something as simple as taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or walking to your neighbourhood shop instead of driving your car. When your postnatal bleeding has stopped, you can consider exercises such as swimming, whichBody Soul identifies as one of the safest exercises to do even during pregnancy. Not only is swimming easy on your joints, but it also improves circulation and alleviates swelling as you immerse yourself in water. And, as previously discussed here on First Cry Parenting, don’t ever forget to warm up properly.
Your Core Won't Feel the Same
A study published on Manual Therapy found that majority of women go through diastasis recti, which is the separation of your left and right abdominal muscles at the end of pregnancy. It often comes with feelings of vulnerability and a disconnect from one’s center. Unfortunately, up to 39% of those women still experience its symptoms even after six months postpartum. One of them is R&B singer Ciara, who took to Instagram after her pregnancy to reveal her struggle. In a post, the hopeful artist wrote, “I have diastasis rectifrom both of my pregnancies, so I have to work extra hard to regain my core strength. Determined. Let’s Go Mammas!” This is completely normal, and it is recommended to see a physical therapist or trainer who specializes in postpartum training.
Invest in New Sportswear
I know you’re eager to put on your favorite athleisure wear again, but you might need to buy new sports bras for extra support. This reduces the risk of back pain, bad upper body posture, and stretch marks. Pretty Me also emphasizes the need for the right shoes, especially since your feet have most likely swollen up since pregnancy. Consider the kind of workout for the clothing support you need. This is important so as to avoid injuries.
Be Prepared to Experience New Kinds of Pain
Relaxin is the hormone that helps loosen joints for labour, but it can remain in your system for up to 12 months after your baby’s birth, causing you to be less stable when moving around. As such, you'll need to focus on balancing or stability exercises to get you back on track.
Another newfound pain can take the form of postpartum depression. Even Kate Middleton isn’t exempt from this issue, which affects millions of mothers worldwide. After her pregnancy, the Duchess opened up about her mental health problems where she felt a lack of confidence. Of course, this can make you demotivated to get fit, but exercising can actually be a good way to boost your mood and confidence. Just don’t fall prey to unrealistic expectations, and go at your own pace.
Don’t Forget Proper Nutrition
You know how they say that fitness has more to do with your diet than exercise? The same still holds true for postpartum health. Remember that you just spent the last nine months growing a baby inside of you, so you are going to need all the nutrients you can get. Mind Body Green suggests eating nutrient-dense foods to replenish your body, which is also one of the best things you can do for yourself in the first six months and beyond. Hydrate often, and look to add supplements into your diet.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
10 hours ago
Q. I am 9 week pregnant and I have runny nose very badly can I use cetirizine tablet?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
6 hours ago
A. use nasal drops , that acts faster .
You should have proper consultation with your treating doctor , as some examination or investigations may be needful, so that proper medications can be given And the treatment can be done very properly.
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
10 hours ago
Q. hi,
my LT 10x18mm and RT 18x20mm and ET 6.5 , what if I intercourse after 2 days, can I do intercourse in ovulation day can become a pregent .
on ovulation day if we intercourse can become a pregent..pls advice..
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
6 hours ago
A. since the follicle size is 18 to 20 mm your ovulation may occur within 24 hours also so if you have intercourse with in that time it will be more effective to get conceived
your endometrial growth is not good enough for conception but still you can just try
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
10 hours ago
Q. Hlw dr its my 6th month pregnency can i intimate with my partner
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
9 hours ago
A. Hello dear! If your pregnancy is going on fine without any high risk factors then it’s okay. Still, would advise you to check with your doctor once before going further. Maintain a good personal hygiene routine and a healthy lifestyle
Abhaya Rajput has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
6 hours ago
Q. My breasts feel full and heavy, but there’s no milk when pumping and during feeding baby —what do I do?
Abhaya Rajput
Mom of a 14 yr 4 m old boy
36 mins ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much. But it is really very difficult to say anything without proper examination. It is advisable to get yourself evaluated by a doctor and follow doctors advise properly. You can also book online doctor’s appointment on FirstCry where the doctor can help you and guide you properly.
Thanks and take care
Dr Disha Patel has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 6 months
6 hours ago
Q. can I take medicine pcm n citrazene in pregnancy fir sore throats n fever
Dr Disha Patel
Ayurvedic Physician
1 hour ago
A. dear mom.
better to take tab pcm for time being n do take steam inhakation couple of tines a day, follpw good home renedies for cold, taje more rest .
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Mom of a 9 m old child
9 mins ago
Q. hi everyone good morning,
sorghum can I give to my 10 month baby is it safe or not please revert I waiting for your reply
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
7 mins ago
A. yes
whenever you give any new food to the child you have to take care of two things.
you should give in small quantity. if the child doesn't develop any digestion problem in next 24 hours to 48 hours and the child is able to digest that food then that food can be given again.
but if the child is not able to digestc or there is some problem with vomiting or loose motion or colic pain then kindly avoid that food.
we wait for 2 to 3 days to confirm whether the child is having any problem to that particular food or not
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