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Perfectionism In Parents - Not A Good Idea!
Perfectionist parents are never satisfied with their child's performance and their own performance as a parent. They can’t tolerate their own mistakes and hence can’t tolerate the mistakes of their children either. Their need for control often exaggerates to the extent that instead of helping their children, it starts ruining their bond and creates a negative environment at home.
How Your Perfectionism is Hurting Your Child
There is no harm in being a perfectionist. Knowing what you want and exactly how you want it is what makes you a successful person in life. But adopting the same approach for parenting is a risky decision to make. Perfectionist parents often forget that their perfectionist behaviour harms their children more than benefiting them. To understand how perfectionist parenting affects children, you must know signs of controlling motherhood and try to rectify your behaviour before it's too late to do so.
Characteristics of a Perfectionist Mother
Controlling motherhood and related behavioural characteristics can be easily observed in certain parenting styles and situations. To be sure if you’re a perfectionist parent or not, check your parent-child relationship for the following signs —
You are constantly obsessed and stressed about managing your time between home and work.
You are never satisfied with the quality of food your children are eating, the amount of time you are spending with your children and the attention you are paying to their performance in school.
You find it difficult to relax unless all your chores for the day are over and remain constantly irritated with yourself.
You keep pushing your child towards achieving the best possible grades, take up extra-curricular activities and excel at all of them.
Any time you fail to do something for your child, you feel seriously disappointed in yourself and experience depression.
You can’t handle your children’s failure in school and at anything else they do.
You like to be on top of things and know every single detail about your child’s life.
If you have recognised two or more signs from the list above as your own character traits, then you are most definitely a perfectionist parent. You can’t settle for anything less than perfection. While previously your work served as an outlet for your perfectionist tendencies, your children are your new project and you are putting in your best efforts to become a perfect parent. But in reality, instead of achieving your dream of perfection, you are straining your relationship with your kid.
Harmful Effects of Perfectionist Mothers & Fathers
While your perfectionist behaviour may be much appreciated at your workplace, as a parent you have to learn to let go. Harmful effects of perfectionist parents on children are -
Children also learn the same stressful habits and strive to be perfectionists. Although it is a good thing to have high standards for performance, it is not good to be constantly dissatisfied and unhappy. If your child also adopts the same perfectionist behaviour as you, he/she is bound to get frustrated with situations where external factors will not allow them to remain in control.
Children may rebel against your controlling and perfectionist behaviour. While some children adopt substance abuse and self-harm practices, others simply stop relating to you and start developing a negative outlook towards you.
Children may also stop trying at all. If you are a highly successful perfectionist parent, your child may labour under constant pressure of superior performance. This may force them to either stop competing or deliberately underperform.
Instead of pursuing idealistic standards of parenting and losing the real connection with your children, you should learn to let go every once in a while. Perfectionism in parents is more harmful than it is beneficial. So, expect a little less from yourself and make yourself as well as your children a lot happier. Read more
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Soy Allergy in Babies - Symptoms, Management and Safety Tips
For breastfeeding infants, soy allergy may not be immediately evident off the bat. As a child starts trying out different food items, any allergies that might exist begin to surface and can be diagnosed effectively. Giving soy to a child is definitely recommended since it provides a huge nutritional serving, but soy allergy is also a condition that one needs to be aware of.
Is Soy Safe as a Baby Food?
Before giving soy to your baby, it is important to understand whether it is safe to do so.
Derived from soybeans, soy contains numerous nutrients that are good for the child.
Giving soy milk to a lactose intolerant child is a great substitution.
Soy shouldn’t be given as a baby’s first food but can be introduced once he has other food items as well.
What Causes Soy Allergy in Babies?
Any allergy that a person suffers from is usually the reaction of the immune system of the body. The same condition exists for a soy allergy as well.
In this case, various proteins present in soy products may be misinterpreted by the body’s immune system as harmful substances. This causes a secretion of a specific kind of antibodies, called immunoglobulin E, or IgE. Therefore, any time when soy is ingested, these proteins are detected by the antibodies and the immune system reacts by sounding the danger alarm and releasing a flood of histamines in the bloodstream to combat the substances. These chemicals are the reason for allergic symptoms being visible in various forms, right from skin rashes to breathing problems, and many more.
At times, a food allergy can be delayed as well and trigger only when the allergen enters the intestine or the colon. The reaction, in this case, is not immediate but occurs after a few hours, and majorly results in stomach ache, diarrhoea and similar symptoms.
Symptoms of Soy Allergy in Infants
The signs of soy allergy in a baby are pretty evident. These need to be observed as early as possible in life so that the allergic condition can be diagnosed properly. Most of the symptoms are:
Eyes swell and start itching and watering
Reduction in blood pressure
A feeling of being lightheaded
Seeing red coloured spots
A repeated occurrence of wheezing
The existence of an oral allergy syndrome
Repeated vomiting
An anaphylactic attack
Various issues of the gastric system
The appearance of rhinitis due to the allergy
An onset of asthma
Presence of hives all over the body
Dizziness and a feeling of nausea
How to Manage Allergy Reactions
Making use of a special formula for babies with milk and soy allergies can help avoid any untoward incidents. However, if your child does face a severe reaction, it needs to be managed effectively without panicking.
It is always better to keep common anti-allergic medicines such as antihistamines or others to control any allergic attack.
Talk to a doctor to get epinephrine and understand the right way to use it.
Epinephrine injections are also available in a compact form that can be carried anywhere or even given in your child’s backpack.
At times, using an auto-injecting epinephrine might be necessary to be used by other caretakers who may not be aware of the proper techniques to handle allergies.
What to Do if Baby Attends a Nursery
For children that suffer from an allergy and spend their time at a nursery, extra care needs to be taken by informing the staff about the allergy as well as providing a plan of action in case your baby has a reaction.
Provide them with an emergency number to call upon should they spot any signs of a reaction.
Give them your own contact number or alternate numbers of other family members to reach out to immediately.
Keep an epinephrine injection with your child or the nursery and ask the staff to use it, if the child starts showing signs of swelling or breathing difficulties.
Safety Guidelines for When Your Baby is Diagnosed With Soy Allergy
When your baby is diagnosed with an allergy towards soy, there are ways to manage the reactions should they occur. However, prevention is a better alternative any time and there are a few guidelines you can adhere to, in order to keep your little one safe from certain foods.
When purchasing food items from the supermarket, check the label for the ingredients. Avoid items that mention any soy derivative on it.
Certain cuisines such as Asian foods make use of soy products liberally. Be extra careful when opting to go ahead with one.
Many bakeries have started using soy in mixtures of cakes, chips and even roasted nuts. Double check for any presence as such.
Keep away from sprouted soybean as well.
Some spice collections that contain mixed elements do have the possibility of including soy as well.
Be careful when choosing any kind of vegetable stock or canned food products like soup and others. They might contain soy in the ingredients.
Certain variants of margarine make use of a soy oil in their preparation.
Multiple dips, sauces, spreads, dressings for salads also make use of soy to accentuate their flavour.
Nowadays, there are varieties of biscuits, bread, and other desserts that use soy in their preparation, too.
Check with fast food joints and inquire if they make use of soy in any of their preservatives or cooking techniques, as well as items such as flour or cheese.
Figuring out any kind of dairy and soy intolerance in babies can be a messy affair because such conditions can be diagnosed only when they occur for the first time. Once the diagnosis is attained, it is quite easy to prevent any reactions from occurring again, as well as keep a contingency plan in place to treat its emergence.
Also Read: How to Recognize and Treat Egg Allergy in Baby Read more
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Motherhood or a Solitary life?
Every thing has a cost!
The princess when born is introduced to this world like a fairy tale only if not born in a family of so called underprivileged people. The world is competitive and hence, the upbringing of our kids being a boy or a girl.The parents shower them with all the goodness of their life more than their own worth. A girl also grows up aspiring and living her own dreams, her own life, her ambitions, her career and above all her own rules of living life but the word 'Motherhood' is that beautiful word in a girl's life which molds her completely!
“Mother” word in itself encompasses the feeling of warmth, love and care but like any other good thing, it too comes with its own cost. In the journey of becoming a mother, certain changes are expected like a new baby, physical changes, responsibilities, etc. but one may not anticipate all the ways that motherhood changes you from within; your own inner-self! Being a 'mother' is an exhilarating experience and children bring a new meaning to every moment of your life and depth to your experience as a human being. As a 'parent' your life has a revolutionary change in the way not only your day to day life but it alters your very identity as a person! You life is no more of your own. The happiness of giving it all to your little bundle of joy energizes you to keep doing it day and night but at times you feel like running away from everything. Sometimes you really want to reanimate your earlier days. But the motherhood word is so deep that even a smile on your baby's face makes you forget everything, you want to play with him, feed him, see him growing, and wake up all night to watch him asleep and may be you feel proud realizing the worth of being a mother, a creator of another life on this Earth!
The motherhood becomes like an invisible job.You keep grappling the entire day but when you count, you are actually not able to sum it up! All this causes a huge emotional fluctuation and many times a woman is not able to balance herself due to both physical and mental changes. But no one understands that this is indeed a very big change in her life. After becoming a mother, we realize that we not only held a new baby, we owned a new identity! Somewhere I read "Marriage was a minor blip but having a child was something different." People look at her just as a mother. Now the ambitions of a women, her dreams, her style of living, her choices everything needs to go in sync with her child. Forgetting those lazy weekends, those only 'me' outings, reading, writing, anything you want to or like to, you need to create a balance with the preferences of your child.
Being called a "Dad" makes you feel proud and yes you should feel so but for all this you need to respect the 'mother' of your child, love her the most and support her in all the ways during this important transition. When a child is born , a mother also gives birth to various relationships and make the entire family feel privileged but in most cases it is only the mum who bears all the responsibility, put in her best efforts and sacrifice everything for his/her upbringing! Keep loving her and go ahead to at-least calm her during these emotional fluctuations!
So, the “motherhood” even at a cost makes us feel privileged that the God above has chosen us as a creator on earth. It makes you understand the real meaning of two words ‘Love’ and ‘Care’. Let her not realize that her solitary life has come to an end but together we can discover the new dimensions of this beautiful feeling of parenthood instead of just motherhood!
Being a mother of a one year old child now, I could sail in the same boat of my mother and feel how much she loved, cared and sacrificed to bring us here! Kudos to all the mothers of this world! Read more
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Deep Cleaning your Sofa, Mattress And Pillows
Give your dull and limpid pillows the as-good-as-new look. Clean your mattress to make it feel fresh and inviting. Just use a smart sofa cleaning solution to make your lounging time more hygienic. All this, and a lot more is possible with these simple deep-cleaning tips. Use them, today!
Do you worry about having to sleep on dirty pillows that look nice on the outside? Is your mattress smelling funny and crying for a thorough clean up? Fortunately, it's easy to clean your sofas, mattresses, pillows and other home accessories on your own. With simple and effective cleaning tips up your sleeve, you'll have a more hygienic environment soon!
How to Deep Clean your Mattress, Sofa and Pillows at Home
How to Clean your Pillows
If your pillows are a far cry from their nice, white, and fuller version (when they were new), they need to go through natural cleaning processes. Just toss in dingy pillows into the washing machine and leave them to soak. Next, add the vinegar and hydrogen peroxide to the washing machine’s drum. While vinegar handles deep-set stains adroitly, hydrogen peroxide serves as a whitener. Once you've run the soak cycle, use regular liquid detergent to wash the pillows. Thereafter, add the laundry booster that enhances the abilities of your detergent—you now know the right way of cleaning your pillows.
Best Way to Clean the Mattress
Use your vacuum! There is no better way of getting rid of all the dust, allergens and mites that are harbouring in the various layers of your mattress. Along with dead skin cells and other kinds of debris, you'll find hair and other nasties piling up in your cleaner’s attachment. Musty smelling mattresses are best left out under the sun for deodorising purposes. You may even go the traditional way of beating your mattress for dislodging the dirt. You can also invest in mattress steam cleaning purposes. Affordable and quick, this method leaves your mattress all plumed and fresh!
How to Clean a Sofa at Home
Thorough cleaning of your sofa set is best done twice a year, as it's really cumbersome. The process requires hard-core vacuuming of all the grooves, layers, posterior surfaces, and the areas beneath the sofa. On other days, dust the fabric of your sofa with a cleaning brush to remove dirt, food crumbs, and other residues left behind after use. A dishwashing liquid and warm water solution is what you need. It’s best to do a patch test on an obscure part of the fabric to see the results. Refrain from wetting the fabric as it may lead to bad odours or fading.
Deep Cleaning with Steam
These days, there are many who swear by the methods of steam cleaning—be it for their pillows, mattresses, or sofas. As these products are not too moisture-friendly and get spoiled if washed regularly, deep cleaning with steam is certainly the right thing to do. Professional cleaners go a long way in using this method for the removal of allergens, moulds, mites, bugs, dirt and all other residues. Try it—you won’t be disappointed!
So, instead of waiting any longer, embark on DIY or professional ways of keeping your bedroom and living space accessories clean and refreshed. You'll love the results! Read more
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Dr Disha Patel has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 6 months
14 hours ago
Q. can I take medicine pcm n citrazene in pregnancy fir sore throats n fever
Dr Disha Patel
Ayurvedic Physician
9 hours ago
A. dear mom.
better to take tab pcm for time being n do take steam inhakation couple of tines a day, follpw good home renedies for cold, taje more rest .
Swati Kar Samanta has added a new answer
Mom of a 9 m old child
7 hours ago
Q. hi everyone good morning,
sorghum can I give to my 10 month baby is it safe or not please revert I waiting for your reply
Swati Kar Samanta
Mom of a 2 m old girl
5 hours ago
A. Yes but first give in very small quantity to judge the reaction of your baby.
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
5 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts is it okay that the baby is kicking less than usual?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
5 hours ago
A. Yes it is the what part is that your child is kicking if you feel that there is a movement of your child whether it is a cake or slight movement also you know that your child is doing fine so there is no problem in that if the movement is less it’s completely alright
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
4 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts what to do if the baby’s nose is blovked
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
4 hours ago
A. Nasal blockage is very common, specially in small children because of the narrow nasal cavity. Any kind of saline drops like nasal clear will be helpful in dissolving the stuffy secretions, which can be taken out by vnasal aspirator gently also steam inhalation will be helpful also, try to avoid keeping the child directly under the fan.
Ankita Mehta has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 4 months
2 hours ago
Q. 22 week pregnant,baby konse month me or din me kitni baar move kartaa he ,pls bataye abhi sirf 2, 3 baar hi hota he
Ankita Mehta
Mom of a 8 yr 7 m old girl
13 mins ago
A. hi
yes it's enough
and the frequency and timing may vary as we all are different
but yes, the frequency of feeling baby movements will increase now
please go for regular check-up to your gynecologist
and follow his or her suggestions
Rashmi has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
1 hour ago
Q. hi
need help and advice
my RT 18x16mm and LT 10x16mm ET 6.59
and did ovulation rest also showing fertility test C as if now , pls advice if we intercourse tomorrow then when will be my ovulation start.
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. You can check with an ovulation kit if it is positive then you can certainly go ahead with the conception because ovulation kit is going to give you 100% clarity whether you are ovulating or not with that you can try practising if you can conceive the same time
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