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5 Simple Tips To Put Your Toddler's Bedtime Tantrums To Sleep!
Toddlers perform a major struggle every night to evade sleep! Handling it could prove to be astoundingly frustrating if it’s a daily routine. As a mom, you must first understand the reason for your munchkin's bedtime tantrums and then deal with it in a manner than keeps you in control of the situation but doesn’t terrorize your child either!
Leaving a crying toddler to soothe himself could send any parent on a guilt trip, but this could very well be the first step towards conditioning your toddler into accepting a bedtime routine. After a long day of work commitments, household chores and severely depleted energy levels, managing toddler tantrum at bedtime can prove to be an absolute nightmare.
Watch: Everything You Need To Know About Toddler Bedtime Tantrums
https://youtu.be/xF2KKzm6mb4
However, you can make your child's bedtime a cakewalk with just the right parenting strategy. While dealing with toddler bedtime problems, you must understand the cause of these tantrums. Toddler crying at bedtime could very well be because of any of the following reasons –
Fear: Your child may be scared of monsters or of the dark. Your presence may give him the sense of security and that may be why he doesn’t want to sleep on his own.
Sign of Independence: This may be one of the ways in which your toddler is learning to exert his independence and control over his life choices.
Feels Left Out: Your toddler may want to spend more time with you and feels that if he sleeps off, you will continue to enjoy without him.
Wants to Spend Time Together: This may be the only time when you spend some quality time with your child, so obviously he wants to milk it the most and get as many hugs, bed time stories and sing-along with you as possible.
Easily Distracted: Your toddler may be too distracted to wind down for bedtime.
Here are some tips to make your child sleep without bedtime tantrums –
1. Maintain A Bedtime Routine
Undoubtedly one of the best tips for beating toddler’s bedtime stalling tactics is setting a bedtime routine for toddlers. By setting up a bedtime routine you give your toddler ample time to prepare for bed. Start with a bath, changing into favorite pajamas, reading a story or listening to rhymes before bedtime. Make this a daily routine so your toddler can anticipate bedtime.
2. Give Your Toddler Controlled Choices
Give your toddler some choices which make him feel in control of the solution. However, don’t keep the choices open ended like “do you want to go to bed?” The answer would invariably be a “No". Instead let your little one decide which bedtime story he wants to listen to or which color pajamas he wants to wear. This way he will exert his independence without evading bedtime.
3. Remove All Distractions
Reduce nearby activity level to minimum so that your child is not distracted and doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on anything fun. Ambience plays a critical role in inducing sleep in kids. Ensure lights are dimmed, Switch off your phone and television and make sure there are no ambient noises that can make your little one cranky or distracted.
4. Set A Limit On Indulgences
Be firm but not heartless. Give him that extra hug or read that extra story to him if he insists. But always set a limit for these indulgences so that ultimately you can put your child to sleep on time. It is very important for your child to learn that bedtime means that he/she must get to bed and cannot indulge in other activities.
5. Stay Close At All Times
Assure your toddler that you are nearby and check on him multiple times to reinforce this belief. That ways he can get over the fear of monsters or dark and even learn to self-soothe himself.
Ultimately, the toddler bedtime battle in each household could be unique and can only be resolved with some creative parenting. The key is not to lose patience but remain calm while dealing with your sleepy but not-ready-to-sleep toddler, every night. Read more
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Setting Healthy Boundaries for Your Child - Why and How
Child rearing psychology has been through many changes throughout the years. For instance, a few decades ago, parents made decisions for their kids. Children back then were even subjected to punishment. In recent times, the child-knows-best mode of rearing has come into place, with parents often allowing their little ones to choose for themselves. In theory, this is a great practice, but children cannot make right decisions, well not always. Hence, it should be a parent's duty to help their kids find direction in life. You should focus on your child’s behaviour as well as on their emotional state, as nothing supersedes their mental health and peace of mind. Nevertheless, as a parent, you must ensure that you set healthy boundaries for your child, within which he can thrive and learn to handle the world around him. This article will explain how to establish boundaries for kids and the importance of setting limits.
Why Is It Important to Set Limits for Kids?
These days, it is observed that parents are considerably free with their kids, with no clear set boundaries. Sometimes this can be problematic. Below you will find a few reasons as to why you should set rules and boundaries for your children:
1. The Brain of Kids is Not Fully Developed
Children have prefrontal lobes that are not entirely formed. This leads to something known as “magical thinking” according to child psychologists. This allows them to live in a semi-imaginary world, which means they are not capable of making big decisions, hence parents should make important decisions for them. Children under the age of eight are less abstract in their thinking, making them less likely to know the better of two decisions. Of course, this excludes simple choices like what clothes to wear or which food to eat. Let them choose that.
2. Limits Make Kids Feel Protected
Young children thrive on routine and discipline. Establishing firm timelines for different activities will instil a sense of predictability, which in turn can lower uncertainty and anxiety. Yes, there will be days when your child may rebel but make him understand that the boundaries you have set are for his own good. As he grows, he will realise that whatever you are doing is in his best interest and he will feel protected and cherished.
3. Boundaries Interrupt Narcissistic Tendencies
It is not a good idea to allow your child to get control over you, especially when it comes to making important decisions. This will make them feel like they are the centre of the world, and can lead to narcissistic personality disorder. Children need to experience the feeling of disappointment and loss, so they can learn how to deal with these situations as adults. However, please ensure your boundaries for them are not dictatorial or extremely strict, as this can lead to trust issues in later years.
Tips to Set Boundaries for Children
If you are wondering about how to set limits for your child, then these tips will help you establish proper boundaries:
1. Don’t Expect Too Much
Please set limits keeping in mind the developmental stage of your child. For instance, toddlers find their way everywhere while older kids can refuse or demand reasons for your rules. Remember that it takes a while for them to cross these stages of growth, and set your rules accordingly.
2. Use a Warm and Friendly Tone
Be friendly with kids without letting them have their way. If you speak to your child in an angry tone or shout at him unnecessarily, it will scare him or make him feel nervous and he will be obliged to follow the boundaries. Frightened children will agree to your limits but not happily. Therefore, if you want your kid to follow the limits that you have set for him, speak to him in a gentle and friendly tone. First, make him feel relaxed and safe and then talk.
3. Be Clear in Your Approach
Don’t use words that can mean multiple things. For example, don’t tell your child you don't want him to do or not do something specific. Instead, tell him softly what he is doing, why it is wrong, inappropriate or dangerous. Explain this gently and ask him to change his behaviour.
4. Plan in Advance
It is important to strategise in advance, especially when it comes to setting limits for preschoolers. As parents, you should be aware of when your kid is most emotionally comfortable and when and where he begins to get fussy, nervous, or angry.
5. Let Your Child Complain
Your child will invariably complain about the limits you have set. This cannot be avoided. But it will certainly help if you react to his upset state with composure and understanding rather than being angry at him. Yes, he will complain in the beginning but later he will understand why you have set boundaries for him.
6. Remain Firm in Your Decisions
Do not waver once you set boundaries for your kid. Your child will complain initially, making you feel that you should give up but don't. Be firm in your decisions and remember that you are doing it for your child's good future. Set boundaries but change them as per circumstances.
7. Maintain Consistent Body Language
Keep your non-verbal cues consistent. This is important to maintain authority. Instead of intimidating your child with your height and body, crouch down to his level and maintain a neutral facial expression. Explain him about the rules you have set for him in a serious yet friendly tone and he will follow them.
8. Don’t Over Explain the Boundaries
Explain yourself once or twice, until your child understands what you mean. Don’t keep trying to get it through his head, as this will only annoy both of you.
9. Make Him Feel Protected
Be there for your child whenever he needs you or whenever you think he is in danger. For instance, if he insists on running across the road or tries to climb trees, hold his hand and stop him from doing so. Keep calm and remember that you must not ever touch your child when you are feeling enraged. Further, please keep an eye on the amount of force you are using, so your child does not feel pain. It is also necessary that you let him go once he calms down or is able to handle himself.
10. Be Humorous
Being funny always works. You can set your limits with songs, limericks, rhymes, anything that sounds entertaining and amusing. Use a funny voice or create a fictional character who is actually making the rules instead of you doing it. This will take less time than other tactics such as shouting or bribing your children.
How Do You Know If You Are Blurring Boundaries as a Parent?
It is possible to blur your boundaries as a parent. This is unhealthy for your relationship with your child as they need to see you as loving, warm, and protective but also as an authority figure. Here are a few signs to keep an eye out for:
Allowing your little ones to explore your personal space, either yours or your partners. This makes them feel like they are the centre of your world all the time.
Not allowing your child to do things which they are completely capable of. This makes them dependent on you for the most basic things.
Having an emotional reaction to your child’s outburst. This might make him feel like he can’t be emotionally available for you.
Continuously interrogating your little one about anything and everything. This will make him scared of you and will lead to distrust.
Allowing your kid to do whatever he wants without stopping him. When you do this, he does not see you as an authority figure.
Treating your child more like a peer than as a child. This might be fun for a short time but will lead to problems when you want him to follow certain rules.
Treating him as an extension of yourself, with his victories and losses being yours. This puts pressure on him to perform better to please you, causing unnecessary anxiety and stress.
Children will always push your tolerance, patience, and stress levels. This is something that you have in your complete control. Please understand that your child wanting to do more things by himself is a part of his development stage. It is up to you to guide him along the way so that he can make the right choices and correct decisions in his life. It can be easy to simply let your kid do what he wants instead of keeping firm limits. It is also easy to force strict military rules on a kid so that he is totally obedient. But neither of these techniques will make your child into a healthy or happy individual. Raising a child is a dynamic process, not a static one. You will not know everything in the beginning, but you can pick up a lot on the way. Once you define your limits and resolutely stick to them, your child will listen to you and look at your behaviour as something to be modelled.
Also Read: Healthy and Good Habits for Child to Learn Read more
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Stepsisters to Soul Sisters - Breaking Stereotypes
When parents get married, their children not only have to accept new parents but also new siblings. This seems to be the biggest challenge because there is a lot of friction and pre-conceived hatred between the children on both sides. Since there is no genetic link between the children, they find all the more dissimilarities and reasons to fight or stay away from each other. Read on to figure out how to bridge the gap between stepsisters.
Mostly, if stepsisters belong to the same age group, they may go to the same school, have the same kind of lifestyle or even the same set of friends. But all this is not enough to keep them bonded well in a close-knit family.
In fact, they probably resent being together and sharing common stuff. It might not be a great idea to make them share things from the first day on, but there are lot of small things that you can practice to make sure they bond well.
How to Help them become Soul Sisters
Here are a few things you can do to break the stereotype and help them become soul sisters:
1. Be Unbiased
As a parent you need to be unbiased. Unless and until both parents have a similar approach, the sisters will not be able to bond. You have to treat them both equally; neither of your children should feel left out, as this directly leads to hampering their relationship.
2. Consider Their Ages
If your children are toddlers or primary school goers, helping them bond will not be as difficult as it may be in the case of teens and preteens. Either ways, you will have to keep into account their age and help the elder one take care of the younger one.
3. Prepare Them in Advance
It will be a great idea to prepare your child in advance just like pregnant moms do, so that mentally your child gets ready to accept a new sibling into her life. If possible, try to make them meet a few times before they start living in the same house.
4. Build Perspective
You will have to develop similar perspectives in both your daughters to avoid unnecessary fights and rifts between them. You might have to compromise, but make sure your daughters build a lifetime bond.
5. Prevent Bullying
Bullying is one thing that you need to make sure doesn’t happen because it comes naturally to the older one, and being stepsisters, they might indulge in power fights. The older one will always try to bully the younger one.
6. Teaching Them to Share
Giving them one bed room would be a good idea. Make sure they both have separate distinct areas so that they don’t disturb each other, but at the same time, learn to share a single room. It all starts with a room and they will eventually learn to discuss and share their deepest secrets.
Stepsisters can become soul sisters if their parenting is done right. Not only this, but you should also encourage more of activities that they can do together to make them best friends. You need to bring in the love and make them soul sisters for life. Read more
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Importance of Connecting with your Preschooler
As your baby grows from being an infant to a toddler; and then a preschooler, you will notice his surge for independence. Your young one may seem to be steadily stepping out, and exploring ways to be independent in doing certain tasks, be it brushing teeth, putting on clothes, feeding him/her self. Apart from you getting a time-off, it is enjoyable to see those little hands and feet at work.
With this independence, it’s very important that we connect with our kids physically, emotionally and socially, and explain to them at each step what is right and what is wrong. Children at this age can show extreme emotions.
For example, if a friend is annoyed, either s/he will shout, cry or get angry and may throw things. It’s important at this stage to explain to the child how they should handle such emotions, and develop better social skills. Remember that the basics taught at the right time will play a huge role in your child’s life later on.
Developing Self-esteem and a Positive Outlook:
A positive self-image helps an individual to understand the reason behind a failure, and accept it without undergoing any emotional extremes. Though it is not right to expect a balanced outlook towards life at the age of 3 and 4, you can definitely contribute in developing your child’s behaviour a little at a time. Given below are some pointers you can follow:
Explain your child about his relations with relatives, what s/he is to his cousins, grandparents etc. This will make him feel a part of the family circle.
Encourage your child to take independent decisions (be it small) for example, what clothes s/he wants to wear or what a child would want to have in a restaurant.
Ask them to preserve their kindergarten pictures or drawings in a folder and keep them in their cupboard.
Give them a space in their room wherein they can keep their little stuff, it can be a paper, a chocolate or just a stick which they found in the park.
Appreciate your child when s/he does well and encourage for achieving more.
Saying ‘Thank you’ and ‘Sorry’ can go a long way in teaching children the essence of using such words.
Hug them, pat them, listen to them and play with them.
Do not scream at their mistakes, but help them realize its ok but they need to correct their mistakes and try not to repeat them in future.
Tell them stories about the scenario they are facing and what can be possible outcomes of the same.
In case, they tried doing something but could not accomplish the task, try to help them and explain them how the task can be accomplished.
Encourage them to play more team games rather than individual games.
If your child and his/her friends are fighting, intervene and encourage them to work out a solution for their problem and once the solution is agreed, appreciate all of them for solving the issue in a nice manner.
Developing Social Skills
Social development is a very important part of a child’s growth. For developing good relations with people from different age groups, it is important that a child should learn certain basic social skills:
Teach your child the importance of sharing, taking turns, helping others.
Make them learn the importance of speaking, as well as listening. Tell them how to use the right words and language to convey something to their friends, parents, relatives etc.
Co-operating with friends, and supporting them.
In 90% of the cases, children learn social skills by observing their parents when they are around people.
Pretend plays are a very good mode of teaching your child about social skills.
Encourage them to play games that involve winning and losing. Encourage their participation in group games and activities.
Connection parenting will help in bringing out your natural parenting ‘know-hows’. Your kid will listen and co-operate depending on how you behave with him/her. Here’s wishing you luck in connecting with your child. Read more
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Rayan has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 1 month
11 hours ago
Q. what types of clothes are good for a new born baby during summers
Rayan
Mom of 2 children
3 hours ago
A. Cotton, Muslin clothes can be used. Prefer white or light coloured clothes since it absorb less heat.
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Mom of a 1 yr 10 m old child
2 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts please suggest diet plan for wait gain of my 2 years old baby
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. normal traditional food rich in protein ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
1 hour ago
Q. My due date is 5/5/24 but doctor was saying that baby head didn't get down.is it possible normal delivery for me
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
1 hour ago
A. depends on many factors your doctor can explain you after ultrasound examination. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Disha Patel has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
40 mins ago
Q. hi mam/sir mne nerothrestrone prevent-N leli thi when i was unaware of my pregnancy to delay my periods only one dosage of 5msg was taken by me is there any harm for my baby wil be there as heartbeat is there and my edd according to lmp and esg dates are having 2weeks gap please reply i am so tensed
Read moreDr Disha Patel
Ayurvedic Physician
29 mins ago
A. dear mom.
it would be good to talk to ur own yreati g gynec, he ir she will advice lr guide u accordiny..
take care n all the very best.
POOJA KOTHARI has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
36 mins ago
Q. hi sir/mam i had taken nerothrestrone prevent-N one tablet of 5mg when i was unaware of my pregnancy to delay my periods only one dosage was taken by me and i scanned fewdays and heartbeat came but there is the gap of 2weeks in my edd according to lmp and esg is there any problem please reply i am so tensed
Read morePOOJA KOTHARI
Mom of a 7 yr 1 m old boy
35 mins ago
A. In clinical practice, the gestational age and EDD are often determined using the LMP, except when the discrepancy between the LMP-derived gestational age or EDD and that of early pregnancy ultrasound scan exceeds 1 week; in this situation, the ultrasound scan estimates are more reliable and should be used.
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
36 mins ago
Q. #asktheexperts advice some parenting hack.
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
34 mins ago
A. Can u please elaborate your questions so that I know what’s can I help u with in detail so that u can help u as parenting is a very vast thing so till the time I do not now that is the detail I’ll not b able to help u with it ..
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