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Authoritative Parenting
Are you in the midst of chaos where everything is haphazard and every day has a new problem? If your kids are out of control and you find that firm decisive action is required to keep them in check then authoritative parenting might be the answer.
Authoritative parenting is when you have a high-level of demandingness and responsiveness in your family. You set expectations and make it clear to your kids that they must meet them, based on their individual capabilities. Followed by most modern middle-class families, keep reading to learn why authoritative parenting is the ultimate style of parenting and how it is beneficial for the development of your kids.
What is Authoritative Parenting?
Authoritative parenting uses amicable communication between the parent and child, setting rules and objectives and laying the foundations for achieving them. Parents communicate in confident, friendly, affirmative and peaceful ways and do not set goals based on the child's desires, but rather, based on past performances and achievements. Keeping the child's calibre in mind before setting the bar's height is the cornerstone of authoritative parenting basics.
What Are the Characteristics of Authoritative Parenting
These are the characteristics of true authoritative parenting-
1. Demand and Response
It's all about raising your standards in life and so should your kids. As an authoritative parent, you set demands and expectations, based on their potential and current limits. You set goals and ensure they are working towards them. Explain what you expect from them and set reasonable timeframes.
For example - if you notice your kid performing well in the classroom, ask him to get straight As if he's already scoring a few B’s and a bunch of As. Explain how this will expand his academic profile and benefit him in the future, thus making even the toughest problems easier.
2. Give and Take Verbally
This style of parenting leverages communication. You basically set the house rules and explain the reasons behind them to your kids. Your kids get to understand why they need to follow those rules and how it will benefit them. Be absolutely transparent about these rules and make the rationale behind them crystal clear.
For example - Waking up at 4 AM in the mornings will allow them to be more productive individuals and encourage the building of leadership qualities. Tell your kids why waking up early is linked to peak performance and how it benefits their well being.
3. Involvement and Assistance
Authoritative parents understand their child's needs and do not shy away from participating in their child's daily activities. Be it helping out with high school lessons or mentoring them on different subjects; parents get involved in their world of academia and sports as well.
For example - if your child isn't making the cut in the high school baseball team and has his dreams set on being a top-class professional athlete, you make sure his diet is in place and discuss with this school coach his pain points and strengths. You focus on what needs work and plan out a program for achieving those goals and turn the necessary changes into reality.
4. Critique and Praise
Parents who are authoritative in nature do not shy away from giving honest, non-biased feedback, even if it sounds a little harsh. Feedback helps children grow and understand their own weaknesses and strengths. They also don't forget to praise and appreciate progress when the time arises. By blending appreciation and criticism, you fine-tune their development and build character.
For example - if your child hasn't been performing well in his exams and despite giving him reminders, he is nonchalant about it. You point out the changes in his attitude and how he needs to work on that, followed up by future consequences if continues to move in that direction. Although a bit harsh, your child may think about it and slowly start changing.
When he shows signs of change and brings results, you appreciate him for his change and progress, this reaffirming his efforts in a positive fashion.
5. Giving Freedom and Supervision
Authoritative parents ensure that they're kids get the freedom they need but also keep track of their situation. They don't let their kids give total freedom since complete freedom may let them get derailed from their goals or distract them, however, for minor decisions and some activities, they give a certain degree of dependence.
For example - Your child wants to go out to a party with his friends. You ask him the venue, what time will he be back and whether there are drinks involved (since you won't let an underage kid drink). If you feel something's out of the ordinary, you ask his older siblings or someone in the family or your neighbours to keep tabs on him while he's out.
6. Love and Restrictions
As an authoritative parent, your love will serve as reassurance for your child's confidence and develop his sense of self-worth and self-esteem. However, you can't pamper them with too much love at the same time which ends up in giving into wants and demands. You need to set boundaries or limits on the things they want and make sure they play it safe by preventing them from walking through the wrong path.
For example - Your child wants a pair of roller-skates. However, you're afraid that they may go beyond the neighbourhood and get themselves hurt by skating rashly on the busy streets. Be assertive and firm by letting them know that you will only buy them the pair if they promise to skate within the premises and not skate in public or bustling places.
7. Quality Time
Authoritative is a cooperative and friendly way of parenting and not a dictatorship model. You must spend quality time with your kids at the end of the day and bond with your family, such as during dinner times or maybe by going to the movies on weekends and through similar activities.
For example - You make a rule to keep all your cell phones, and electronic devices switched off at the dinner table to talk about how everyone's day went. No interruptions, no distractions, just pure and simple quality time with your family.
What Are the Effects of Authoritative Parenting Control on a Child?
The following are the effects of authoritative parenting control on a child-
Open Discussions - You discuss freely different topics with your kids. From bullying to school work, making friends, going out and provide them with an open and encouraging environment for flowing conversations.
Mindful Listening - Your children listen to you mindfully and so do you when they have something to say. Mindful listening will actually encourage better communication as children begin to treat you with respect and trust as you listen to them without judgment.
Love and Assurance - Parents shower their kids with love and affection. They make their kids feel safe, loved, and protected. In this way, children don't withdraw into a corner and bottle up feelings. By expressing their feelings, they holistically develop into better people.
Fair Discipline - Consistent and fair discipline is the threshold for authoritative parenting. Your child knows the rules of the house and codes of living. By enforcing discipline in a healthy way, you assure that your child isn't met with angry punishments when they fail to follow the rules. Instead, you take disciplinary action to minimize or lower the bad and accentuate the good by letting them know that you're back to normal once they carry out their tasks. This promotes peace of mind and acts as a safety net for kids.
Authoritative Parenting Skills
Every authoritative parent has a slew of skills which makes them stand apart from the rest. Children of authoritative parents grow up to be successful adults most often and here are key skills you must be aware of-
1. Open Lines of Communication
Your child must be able to trust you, and you must be their anchor. Stealing a comic book from the bookshelf or eating desserts before dinner may be no big deal at first, but things start escalating as kids grow older. What if he mixes with a bad group or ends up in a car crash?
By hiding too much, they pile up on their secrets. Be open to them and assure them that you won't judge them. Failed a test? Don't be angry. Relax, ask him how he felt, where he went wrong or why he couldn't ace it. Understand your kids' problems and help them instead of lecturing them.
2. Do Fun Stuff
Bonding with your children is important. Spending time going out camping, hiking, picnicking or even to the movies and amusement parks are things your kids will love you for and have fond memories of when they grow up. By bonding, you become their treasured friend too.
3. Praise for Progress
You mustn't praise your kids for no reasons but when the reasons are right, you must. Every authoritative parent appreciates progress and praises their kids for a job well done. Praising will also assure them that they are going in the right direction and positive feedback never misleads. Criticism is warranted when they go down the wrong path.
4. Grant Autonomy
Granting autonomy will reflect your trust in your kids, and they'll know it. You can grant it based on age-appropriate activities and let them learn how to cope with tough problems, solve situations and overcome failures. This will improve their confidence and sense of self-esteem, and they will feel that they can handle anything that comes their way.
5. Give Privacy
Maybe your child doesn't want you to show his first drafts or maybe has painted a picture he feels embarrassed to share. Maybe they had a bad day and needed some time alone in their room. Whatever the case, respect your child's privacy. Everybody needs space occasionally, so be sure to provide a healthy dose of it where needed.
6. Respect Their Opinions and Views
Your children are different as individuals and have their own views of life and opinions. Be open to hearing them out and don't judge them for their perspectives. Authoritative parents don't enforce their own beliefs on their children and allow their children to have freedom with their thoughts and sets of beliefs. And that's a good thing! You can help your children use their beliefs to shape up into better, holistic and successful individuals.
Pros of Authoritative Parenting
Here are the pros of authoritative parenting-
Responsibility - Kids develop a sense of responsibility and are less prone to mixing with bad company, doing substance abuse, etc.
Academic Performance - Kids do well in school and even outside the classroom.
Personal Development - Kids experience increased self-confidence and self-esteem.
Mental Health - Both parents and kids tend to be happy, positive and pleased with positive outcomes.
Mutual Respect - Kids respect parents as do parents respect their kids' point of view.
Open Communication - Open discussions and friendly relationships with parents
Skill Acquisition - Kids have an increased desire to learn new skills and participate more in school activities.
Discipline - Kids follow the rules, become responsible citizens and adhere to limits/restrictions in healthy ways while being aware of rewards and consequences.
Cons of Authoritative Parenting
Although authoritative parenting has its benefits, there are some downsides to it too. Here are the cons-
Adamant Children - If kids are adamant or very wilful, it can be difficult to enforce and exercise authoritativeness in the family environment.
More Responsibility - Parents have to take time out of their busy schedules to be more involved with their child's wellbeing and school activities. They also have to think out of the box sometimes and have answers to unexpected questions.
Review And Refinement - Periodic review of house rules and refinement of parenting processes are needed to nurture kids. Parents will need to modify the rules every year based on age requirements.
Rule-Restricted - The family may hinge on rules too much and make the system of living a tad too mechanical instead of organic and growth-based.
Low Self-Esteem - Some children may feel that their world is being controlled and they aren't the freedom to exercise their own judgments and actions. This may lead to rebellious behaviours in the household and in school too.
How Can You Be a Better Parent with Authoritative Parenting?
Authoritative Parenting isn't a means to an end. It's flexible, effective and reviewable. Every family is different, and this is how you can be a better parent with authoritative parenting-
Set a Framework - A structure or a framework gives your kids direction. Morning rituals to time management habits and study skills, these are things which must be taught early on. Enforce rules which revolve around the must-needs for success in school and life.
Rewards and Consequences- According to Charles Duhigg, author of the 'Power of Habit,' rewards act as a feedback mechanism for good/bad habits and enable individuals to ingrain in themselves the changes they want to make. With no reward, comes no motivation and with no motivation halts progress.
Be Responsive - Instead of judging your kids, be responsive. Responding instead of reacting will teach your kids that it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes are part of the learning curve and the more that are made, the more they learn, and that's how they progress.
Create Boundaries - Boundaries discourage bad behaviours, such as not mixing with bad groups or indulging in illicit activities. Explain how they impact their health, life, and well-being and your kids will definitely understand gradually.
Be Appreciative - Finally, being appreciative and happy for your child is crucial to their future success. Make sure you let them know whenever they make progress or do something outstanding. It will encourage them to keep pushing and progressing, in the right direction of course.
FAQ's
These are some of the most frequently asked questions most parents have about authoritative parenting. Here's what you need to know.
1. How does authoritative parenting style work?
Authoritative parenting is not authoritarian in nature. You command respect, but you don't demand it. It comes naturally, and there's a healthy balance between beliefs, rules, and freedom. Put simply; it's open, friendly and disciplined too.
2. Why is authoritative parenting different from other styles?
What makes authoritative parenting different from other styles is that it's not neglectful in nature or negative in structure. Every associated consequence and action is positive, and this style aims to help your child grow.
3. Why is it the best parenting style?
What makes this the best parenting style is its openness and friendly nature. You become your child's pillar, anchor and also disciplinary. All at the same time. You give your kids love, warmth and enable them to express their emotions freely and this empowers them down the lane in a healthy way. The blend of all these qualities makes it the best parenting style.
4. What are the common things authoritative parents do?
Authoritative parents reward their kids, host birthday parties, play games with their kids and understand their kids as a whole person. They are involved with schoolwork, sports and anything else their child is in. Not too obsessive but involved in a healthy way.
5. Should my parenting style be strict?
You may resort to authoritarian parenting which is stricter in nature, but authoritarian parenting hinges on harsh criticism and lack of positive feedback. Kids may feel deprived of love and affection, thus plummeting their performance in every sphere in life. Strike for a balance. Neither too strict nor too soft. Moderation is key.
Authoritative parenting style effects have been tested and used for generations which makes it one of the best parenting styles in the world. As your children grow and transform into capable and responsible individuals, they will appreciate you for having given them a good childhood. Variety is the spice of life when coupled with moderation, and we believe, authoritative parenting takes the cake where that is concerned.
Also Read: Bad Parenting & its Effects on Children Read more
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Complete Guide on Your Baby's Hands
Pinching, holding, grasping, writing, reading books, tying shoe laces, playing a sport, cooking… what do all these have in common? Hands! Your hands are such an important part of your body and now that you have a baby, you need your hands all the more! In fact, you could do with some extra hands at this point. Since hands are so crucial to every activity in a person’s life, you may be wondering if your baby’s hands are developing normally. Let’s have a look at another natural wonder as you take note of each beautiful stage in the way your little one’s hands develop!
Your baby’s hands are so cute, aren’t they? Remember the first time you saw them under the scanner? That joy! After birth and much before that your baby’s hands will be clutched together with the thumb rolled between the other fingers. This hand being clutched is a newborns natural position. Unfurling of fingers is considered an important milestone for a baby. Your baby’s hand will develop gradually and you’ll be amazed at how he will keep developing as days go by. The complete step by step guide is summarized below.
First Things First
Your newborn little one will keep the palm closed for almost 90% of the time. You may try opening the fingers and let him hold your finger. The grip will be mighty tight,mind you! This goes on until 6 weeks for most babies.
3-4 Months
At this age, your baby has already opened up his palm and can grasp tiny objects. A rattle will keep the little one busy as your baby is excited to learn that his hand is attached to his body. You need to keep a watch on the little one as everything that goes into the hands will eventually end up in the mouth. The hands will have gained strength by now and your baby uses it to turn over or push himself up on the back.
6-9 Months
The grip has become much stronger now in your baby’s hands. The little one can hold the rattle in one and look for another with the free hand. Self-dependency will be at new heights at this stage. This is because, your baby will be able to hold a glass of water and drink it comfortably.
From then on
At around 10 months, your little one will be fully mature with his hand movements and will be able to balance all his body weight with ease. A particular milestone that should appear now is “pincer grip”. This grip will help your little one pick up small things like cut fruits, raisins and cereals around. At this stage, you can also introduce games like building blocks, stacking toys etc. These games will master the grip of pincer and help your little one learn a better control over his hands.
There is time for everything and your precious one will pick that up at his own pace. Do not fret over anything and get your baby upset. A regular check with your family doctor will prove beneficial if you are worried about delayed milestones! Read more
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Can't Do Situps Right? Here's Help
Situps are an integral part of working out and your best friend when you want flat abs! If you've been working on them but feel the going is really slow, maybe you could use a guide that makes them more effective. The proper way to do sit-ups could be your missing link in the fitness challenge!
Sit-ups are a great workout for the abdominal muscles. They’re also excellent for the hips. Doing them religiously, combining them with crunches, leg lifts and planks, as well as eating right can get you a flatter stomach. Match your procedure with the steps below to ensure you're well on your way!
How to Do Sit-ups at Home the Right Way?
Step 1
Lie down. But never on the bed! A floor or a hard surface is the best as it provides better support. Use a yoga mat or a large towel to cushion it.
Step 2
In the next step of your sit-up workout routine, make sure your neck is as straight as you can keep it. Your head should be completely relaxed. Place your hands beneath your head and neck to steady them but don’t support them completely. If you're a beginner, you may find crossing your hands across your chest easier than placing them beneath your head. As your core strengthens and you get better at doing abdominal sit-ups, you can gradually progress.
Step 3
The third sit-up exercise step is to bend your knees to a 90-degree angle, keeping the balls and heels of your feet flat on the floor. Don't let anything anchor your feet as it will take away the work that your abs need to do. Your back should never be arched but maintain the natural curve.
Step 4
Tighten your abdominal muscles by deeply exhaling. This will draw your belly to your spine, letting you execute the proper way to do sit-ups. Inhaling while performing the exercise will only strain your back muscles. Next, gently lift your head, followed by your shoulder blades. Keep moving up until you're at a 90-degree position or when your elbows cross your knees.
Step 5
Now that you've raised your torso, hold the position for a few seconds and tense your abs. Slowly bring your back to the floor but try not to let yourself go back to your resting position. When you've mastered the right way to do sit-ups, you can move on to the next level.
Step 6
Continue with the required reps for the day. Keep your lower back and the bottom of your feet flat against the floor throughout. Be aware of how your abdominal muscles are contracting to make sure that they’re doing all the work. This is the correct way to do a sit-up, and you can practice every day to perfect it.
If you haven't exercised in a long time, consider doing half sit-ups. Sit-up exercises for women work best when you also stay hydrated, eat a balanced diet and stay motivated. Cheers to a flatter belly!
*This article has been certified by Gold's Gym experts. Read more
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6 Makeup Products That Battle the Effects of Humidity!
Now that the weather is a weird cross between sunny days, rain and humidity, it is a tough job staying fresh-faced. The sun can play havoc with skin and make it clammy. The humidity can also be particularly harsh. When skipping the makeup is not an option, use the right kind of sweat proof makeup to breathe easy!
Hate the feeling of sweat trickling down your face on a hot day and your makeup running down eventually? You don't have to go through this embarrassment anymore. Switch to humidity-proof beauty products that'll keep you looking fresh despite the heat.
6 Makeup Products For a Sweat-Free Look
1. Au-naturel loose powder
Heavy liquid and cream foundations are prone to melting and do nothing to reduce the oily effect. Powders are a perfect substitute. Mattifying mineral powder, in particular,is lightweight and doesn’t clog the pores even when it mixes with sweat and oil. The result is a spotlessly clean face and an au-naturel polished look no matter how many hours you're under the sun.
2. Liners and mascara
The most telling feature of a face is the eyes, and if you’re not careful with your eye makeup, a few hours braving the sun could turn you into a horrendous sight! Sweat proof makeup for the eyes should include a water resistant eyeliner and smudge-proof mascara and kohl. These products can withstand sticky situations and sweat-filled days with vigour. What you should avoid are wax based pencils as they don’t pass the humidity test.
3. Summer eyeshadow
Dark colours, no doubt, make eyes stand out, but this season calls for pastel eye shadows that provide light coverage. To ensure your eyeshadow doesn’t crease, apply it over an eyelid primer for a smooth finish. Also, for a long lasting effect, use powder eyeshadows instead of creamy ones.
4. Oil-free foundation
The best makeup for humid weather is oil-free makeup. So, if you must wear foundation, make sure it’s oil-free so your face doesn’t end up with a shine that is not the kind you're looking for. A better solution would be to apply an oil-free tinted moisturiser, which gives the skin a soft hint of colour and a much more radiant appearance.
5. Matte lip colors
Lipsticks that are creamy or buttery in texture will just melt off and spread around the lips. Matte lipsticks are ideal for humid weather as they tend to stay in place. You might even want to skip the lip gloss because it tends to slide around. A more suitable alternative is lip balm on naked lips and a satin or matte lipstick to top it off.
6. Cheek colour
When it comes to blush, you can go with a cream or powder formula depending upon the texture of your skin. This is one of those things you need in your humidity resistant makeup kit. If you have dry or normal skin, creamy cheek colors sink in well and smoothen out nicely on the apples of your cheeks. If you’ve got oily skin, go for powder blushes as a creamy blush will only cause you to feel greasy.
With the right makeup, you can look your sizzling best even in hot, sultry weather. These humidity proof makeup products are the perfect solution to end all your makeup woes. Read more
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Prawns in Coconut Curry
Come weekend and the entire family turns up to you asking for what special dish you’ll be cooking. This time surprise them with mildly-spiced yet so-delicious prawn coconut curry. This lip-smacking curry is ideal for a relaxed Sunday family lunch. The best part? You just have to throw in a few ingredients and you’ll have a pot of fragrant curry made in less than 45 mins.
Serves
Preparation Time
Cooking Time
4 People
15 - 20 Minutes
20 - 30 Minutes
Ingredients
500 g prawns, de-veined and shelled
200 g coconut milk
150 g tomato, chopped
5 cloves
2 inch cinnamon stick
A pinch of asafoetida
1 tbsp cumin seeds
1 tbsp coriander powder
1 tbsp black pepper powder
1 red chillies
2 tbsp ginger paste
2 tbsp garlic paste
Salt to taste
Method
Step 1
Marinate shelled and de-veined prawns with lemon juice, salt, turmeric powder and red chilli powder for 45 minutes.
Step 2
In a grinder, blend black peppercorns, cinnamon, cloves and red chillies.
Step 3
In a pan, heat oil and add cumin seeds. After it splutters add asafoetida, black pepper powder, coriander powder, ginger and garlic paste.
Step 4
Add chopped tomatoes and stir it. Let the tomatoes cook till it starts leaving oil.
Step 5
Next, add marinated prawns and salt. Let prawns cook in the tomato juice for 2-3 min.
Step 6
Add coconut milk to the pan and cook it for another 2-3 min.
Step 7
Garnish with coriander leaves and serve hot with steamed rice or roti.
Nutritional Information
Calories
292 K cal
Proteins
30.7 g
Fats
14.6 g
Carbohydrates
10.1 g
Cholesterol
263 mg
Sodium
319 mg
Potassium
513 mg
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Vandana Sharma has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
12 hours ago
Q. I'm currently 37 weeks 4 days my baby weight is 2.4kg whether it is normal?
Vandana Sharma
Nutritionist
12 hours ago
A. Hello mam that is fine , and this varies as it depends o various factors as well too , so avoid stress, take rest and and also healthy diet as well
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
12 hours ago
Q. what could be the baby weight when we are in 37 week 4 days? what could be average weight before labour?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
12 hours ago
A. there is lot of individual variation it can be around 3 kgs ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Disha Patel has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
11 hours ago
Q. hlo plzz tell me gripe water de sakte hai baby ko Mera baby 15 months ka hogya hai ???
Dr Disha Patel
Ayurvedic Physician
11 hours ago
A. nahi.
its not nessesary to feed it.
ur baby is 15 month okd, give all family food in roughly mashed form, include seasonal fruits n veggies.
t..c
Sarika gupta has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
11 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert
Am 25 weeks pregnant with Twins, and cervix of 25mm. got cerclage done at 21 weeks. please suggest precautions so that I can smoothly continue ue my pregnancy and avoid premises.
Sarika gupta
Mom of 2 children
11 hours ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much and please have coconut water on daily basis and also have more green leaves vegetables fruits and dairy products in diet and also home made food. Also go on regular check ups. Also be happy and stress free .
Thanks and take care
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
11 hours ago
Q. what does this mean
"There is a funneling of internal os with effective cervical length (measures ~2.8 cm on TVS) "
in 29 weeks 5 days pregnancy?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
10 hours ago
A. small cervical length ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. my baby approximately weighs only 2.4 kgs in my womb what are all the foods that can increase baby weight?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
32 mins ago
A. normal traditional foods if you are having deficiency of hemoglobin can take iron supplements calcium etc. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
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