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6 Expert-Recommended Ways to Develop Self Control in Kids
In collaboration with Nestlé Start Healthy Stay Healthy.
Have you heard of the marshmallow experiment conducted in the 1960s by social psychologist and university professor, Dr. Walter Mischel? In this experiment, a 4-year-old child was made to sit in front of a table in a laboratory. On this table was a plate with a marshmallow. The child was told that they could eat the lone marshmallow on their plate at the moment, or they could wait as Dr. Mischel left the room and did some work. And when he came back, if the marshmallow was left untouched, then the child could have an extra marshmallow. At the end of the research, it was found that self-control in this experiment predicted, among many other factors, the high school and career success of the kids in the experiment.
If this was your 4-year-old, what would he do? Would he eat the marshmallow, or wait? Before we delve deeper into this, let’s understand what self-control is.
What Is Self-Control?
Self-control is part of the group of skills (Executive Functions) that allows children and adults to manage their actions, emotions, and thoughts to get something done. In short, it is the ability to pause and think before taking action. Waiting in a line, sitting still, and taking turns — these actions require self-control in ways that may seem simple. But, in reality, self-control is a much more complex skill that develops over a period of time. Children start building self-control when they’re very young and continue developing it into their 20s.
As children get older, they develop self-control in three areas:
Impulse control
Movement control, and
Emotional control
Having self-control is important in all areas of life. But, it’s more important when it comes to socialising, especially for kids.
Why Is Self-Control Important?
Self-control is a long-standing challenge and one that is beneficial if established at an early age. Dr. Walter Mischel found that the children who displayed considerable amounts of self-control at even four years of age went on to do better at academics, were more popular with their classmates and teachers, and were highly successful in their careers as adults. Self-control also leads to good choices, which are the building blocks of self-esteem.
How to Develop Self-Control in Your Child
Here are six key ways to building your child’s self-control, which you can begin right away.
1. Create a routine or schedule.
Create a fixed schedule for each day, so that your child gets used to the routine. When he knows what he’s supposed to be doing, he will be less likely to get distracted by other activities. You can establish a morning and bedtime routine, and help your child learn to follow it independently. For an older child, assign suitable household chores, and make it his responsibility to remember to complete them.
2. Be an example.
Remember that your child is observing and imitating everything you do. So, if you lack self-control, your little one will learn from you and behave accordingly. When he sees you spend too much time in front of screens, eat junk food, or do anything else that may be considered a poor example, he’ll assume it is okay for him to do it, too.
3. Ensure your child eats a balanced diet.
Yes, a balanced diet plays an important role in your child’s mental and socio-emotional development. The importance of good nutrition is often underestimated when it comes to mental development. The right nutrients, along with the right stimulus, are known to enhance a child’s learning abilities. So, ensure your child eats healthy, as this will improve his executive functions (which includes self-control) that are important for him to navigate life.
4. Praise good behaviour.
Most of the time, good behaviour goes unnoticed. It’s important to praise your child and provide positive attention whenever he shows self-control. Point out the good behaviour that you would want to see from him more often. Also, don’t forget to praise your child when he does something without any reminder!
5. Enforce limits.
One way your child can learn about self-control is to experience what happens when he does not exercise his self-control. If your child does not respond to you or his peers appropriately, he needs to understand that he should have thought about his alternatives before acting. In this way, he would have had a better chance to make a good choice. A loss of privilege or a timeout will help your child learn that exercising self-control and thus making a respectful choice is always the best option.
6. Play games that require self-control.
Games like ‘Freeze Dance,’ ‘Red Light, Green Light,’ ‘Simon Says,’ and ‘Follow My Clap’ require a child to listen to certain patterns or instructions or patterns, follow them, and make changes accordingly. You can try these games with your little one and have some fun while he learns the value of self-control.
Do understand that self-control doesn’t come naturally to kids. But, by helping them understand how to keep their behaviour in check, you can make it much easier for them to control their impulses and handle their emotions in a better way. And this can improve self-esteem in the long run!
In case of any further questions and clarifications regarding your child’s development, health, and nutrition, do get in touch with your paediatrician. Read more
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Eating Raw Vegetables during Pregnancy - Is It Safe?
Pregnancy is a blissful and joyous phase in a woman’s life. It is filled with excitement and pampering, but more importantly, it is accompanied by food cravings of different kinds. Fulfilling these cravings can be a roller-coaster ride for a pregnant woman because of the number of things that you are advised to avoid during pregnancy. One such speculative item on the list is raw vegetables. Here we discuss whether it is prudent for pregnant women to consume raw vegetables.
What are Raw Vegetables?
Raw vegetables comprise uncooked vegetables that contain edible seeds and roots. Raw veggies are a staple in the diet of vegans, vegetarians, and also herbivorous animals. Vegetables when consumed raw have numerous health benefits. Maximum nutrition can be absorbed when the dietary source is unprocessed as with raw vegetables. We look at the benefits of indulging in a raw diet during pregnancy.
Can You Eat Raw Vegetables When Pregnant?
Deciding to eat raw vegetables during your pregnancy can be a healthy and nourishing choice for your foetus. It is important, however, to understand the safety concerns and risks linked to the consumption of uncooked vegetables. Research proves that eating raw vegetables helps to take in more proteins and minerals.
Benefits of Having Raw Vegetables in Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a delicate phase of life where you have to weigh the pros and cons of your choices before deciding to do anything. Here are the benefits of eating raw vegetables during pregnancy, that can help you decide:
1. Plenty of Fibre Intake
Raw vegetables are a rich source of dietary fibre. This comes in handy during pregnancy as a majority of women face issues of constipation and bloating during pregnancy. A diet that is high in fibre facilitates easy digestion.
2. Calcium
Calcium is a vital nutrient during pregnancy and can be easily sourced through raw greens like spinach, collard greens, and kale. It helps in bone formation and skeletal mineralisation of the foetus.
3. Vitamin C
Raw vegetables are also a good source of Vitamin C which is important to teeth, bone, and collagen formation.
4. Beta Carotene
Beta-carotene is very important for the proper development of tissues, immunity, and vision of the foetus. This is available in plenty of raw vegetables like carrot and sweet potato.
5. Potassium
This is another essential mineral that is essential to aid regulation of blood pressure in pregnant women.
6. Folate
Malformation of the brain and spine can be averted by taking sufficient folates like folic acid or folacin. Vegetables like broccoli, peas, asparagus, and cabbage are high in folates.
7. Omega 3 Fatty Acids
Raw vegetables are an extremely rich source of omega 3 fatty acids which aid in the neurological development of the foetus. Good sources include cauliflower, squashes, and brussels sprouts.
8. Controlled weight Gain
Unhealthy weight gain during pregnancy can be controlled by eating raw vegetables As they are high in dietary fibres, they help to improve energy levels and regulate weight gain.
Raw Vegetables that are Safe to Eat During Pregnancy
Not all raw vegetables can be consumed during pregnancy. Following a raw diet during pregnancy requires some care. Detailed below is a list of vegetables that are safe for pregnant women:
1. Carrots
Carrots are a storehouse of nutrients that can work wonders on a pregnant woman. It also helps in improving the immunity and eye development of the foetus.
2. Broccoli
Broccoli is a vegetable that is rich in calcium and vitamin C. When cooked, the water absorbs these vitamins and makes it unavailable to the body for absorption.
3. Green Peas
Green peas are a healthy, tasty and sweet option for women craving raw vegetables during pregnancy.
4. Sweet Potato
Sweet potatoes are a great source of vitamins A, B, and C. Make sure to get some of this nutrient-rich vegetable while you are pregnant.
5. Bell Peppers
Rich in dietary fibres as well as vitamins, bell peppers eaten raw can be very beneficial to pregnant women.
6. Tomato
Rich in vitamin K and C, as well as biotin, tomatoes are delicious to eat in raw form.
7. Asparagus
Asparagus is very rich in folates and is very essential for the brain development of the foetus. When consumed in raw form, the body gets a good quantity of folates from asparagus.
Raw Vegetables to Avoid Eating When Pregnant
It is better to avoid certain vegetables in raw form during pregnancy. Here are some mentioned below:
1. Cauliflower
Although cauliflower is rich in omega 3 fatty acid, it also contains sulphur compounds which cause bloating and gas formation. Avoid cauliflower for this reason.
2. Sprouts
Sprouts require humid conditions to grow, and this promotes the presence of E.coli, salmonella, and other bacteria in them.
3. Okra
Eating okra raw can increase the risk of gastritis and should be avoided during pregnancy.
Precautions to Take While Consuming Raw Veggies
Wash vegetables thoroughly to avoid toxoplasma parasite that could be present in the peel or outer rind of vegetables
Cut away damaged and bruised sections of vegetables as they tend to have bacteria.
Wash your knife and chopping board with soap and hot water before cutting vegetables.
Soak your vegetables in salt water for a while before eating to kill any germs present on them.
Some Wonderful Ways to Have Raw Vegetables for Moms to Be
You could prepare coleslaw with shredded white cabbage and carrots.
Grated carrots mixed with raisins and nuts can be tossed in a delicious salad dressing.
Mix in some paneer or soya chunks with your bell peppers or leafy vegetables to get your daily dose of proteins.
Eat a raw carrot and asparagus sticks with a cheesy or sour cream dip. Hummus is also a good side to have with vegetable sticks.
Being pregnant comes with its fair share of perks and problems. Make sure you understand the implication of your choices on the growing foetus and make informed decisions. Eat right and take care of your gorgeous self to have a healthy little cherub.
Also Read: Consuming Triphala While Pregnant Read more
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Baby Hair Care Routine - Personal Experience, Tips, Advice, Herbal Treatment
Today I would like to share my baby hair care routine. I have a baby girl. We all know hair is an important part in our body. We need to take off our child hair after her birth because it contains impurities as well as pungent smells.In muslim community, we conduct a function for hair cutting. After clearing all hair from head immediately we need to apply mother's breastmilk so that hair scalp will be coolled after shaving. Further, I apply egg yolk to my babies scalp and massage four to five minutes every day as daily bath routine and wash it off. Its reccomented to use virgin cocount oil to our babies scalp because of its nutritional values. Every six month we need to clear off or trim our babies hair for healthy grow. I advice all mom to have rich protein foods in her diet so that through breast milk our babies get protein which helps to grow their hair. Include protien rich food in babies diet plan if your baby reached six months. Hereditary is also one of the reason in babies hair grow. If her grand parents who have long hair it will affect some sort to our babies genes. I never use any baby shampoo to my baby hair wash. I am using green gram powder and milk paste. It is also rich in protein so that babies as well as mother's hair will grow smoothly and fastly.
Be sure after washing we should dried off babies hair otherwise wet hair causes cold and other diseases. After bath I put Rasnadhi choornam in my babies top of the head to avoid cold. Rasnadhi choornam is a herbal powder which we can bought from all ayurvedic shops. Never comb our babies hair using comb It will be harm for our babies. I use my hands to groom my baby hair, why because babies scalp is so soft as eggs.Keep seperate towel for wiping head of babies. Avoid pillows for babies for smooth blood circulation to head which helps to grow hair healthy. You can add further tips in hair care for babies in below comments. Next time I will come with another blog (1). Hope you all follow my tips and guidelines. Any doubts feel free to ask.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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How to Teach Empathy to Kids - 10 Easy Ways
It takes a conscientious parent to consider ‘teaching’ their child empathy! Empathy may not have been something you were taught in your childhood. In fact, most of us may even believe that empathy is innate and not learned! Fostering empathy and more importantly, coaching your child on the right way to respond to their feelings of empathy is a great way to set the foundation for a compassionate human being to grow on.
Why Is Teaching Empathy To Kids Important?
Empathy helps us see another person’s point of view and feel how they might be feeling. When your child is empathetic, he can make friends easily, avoid fights and find resolutions to conflicts. But it doesn’t stop at that!
Empathy is the core value in Emotional Quotient (EQ) – the ability to recognise one’s own emotions and that of others. Children who grow up with high levels of E.Q are more likely to find academic success, be effective in leadership roles and generally find more happiness and satisfaction in personal relationships later in life.
When Does A Child Learn Empathy?
Children begin to show signs of genuine empathy at 2 years of age and above. For example, a toddler, seeing his mother cry, may bring her a toy he likes playing with, expecting that would make her feel better!
However, empathy isn’t always clear cut to be a positive thing. Sometimes, children do not know how to respond to the empathetic feelings they are experiencing. For example, imagine a child was crying from a stomach-ache he had. Other children may try to console him. Yet another might punch him in the stomach! This is not because he isn’t empathetic per se; it is because he doesn’t know how to show it!
10 Effective Ways To Teach Empathy To Your Children
Nurturing empathy in your child involves a combination of both behavioural training, which continues through life, and the use or cognitive games aimed at toddlers and young children.
1. Be An Empathetic Parent
Raising an empathetic child requires an empathetic parent. An empathetic parent is one who is well attuned to the emotional workings of their child’s mind. When you are easily able to imagine their point of view, it prevents you from snapping at them in times of instant rage. Instead of baring your emotions by meanly displaying them, speak to your child about them. Tell them “You have made me extremely frustrated”, “You have disappointed me”, etc. in a calm tone. This sets their empathetic thought process in motion. Note that a child who is sharply scolded may feel resentment more than understanding.
2. Talk About Feelings
An uninitiated child simply goes through their day feeling happy, sad, angry, tired, etc. without ever stopping to think why or how these feelings came to be or what those feelings even are! It is always good to talk about feelings to your children, teaching them the names for it and training them to identify what their emotions are. It also helps them to hear you speak of what you are feeling.
When a child is able to identify and name their emotions, they are better equipped to identify those feelings in others too!
3. Be A Role Model
Your child takes cues from you on words to speak, grammar, body language, self-restraint and everything else. So it is little wonder that they depend on their observations of you to learn how to treat other people! Treating others with kindness and being understanding towards someone who made a mistake encourages your child to be the same! For example, If you have been brought the wrong order at a restaurant, be polite to the waiter. Later, ask your child how they think the waiter must’ve felt about making that mistake.
4. Teach Empathy For Oneself
In our culture, are simply expected to work hard and follow the rules and traditional familial roles. Very few of us are brought up being told that our feelings are important or that there is any meaning in them. Such a situation can create individuals who suffer in silence throughout life.
In order for us to have empathy towards others, one should first have empathy for oneself. Encourage your child to talk about how they feel and teach them the validity of their feelings. Some feelings, like anger, may not be worth pursuing, while others need to be addressed with action – this is an important lesson that every child needs to learn. Being empathetic does not mean allowing others to take advantage of you or get the better of you while you remain silent!
5. Cognitive Games
Empathy games for children can boost their ability to identify emotions in others. In the Smiley Game, simply pull up the emoticons in your phone and challenge your kid to identify what each smiley is feeling – are they happy or sad, calm or angry, etc. This same game could be played with photos or even with the cartoons they are watching by asking them to identify what a character is feeling.
6. Role-Playing Games
Empathy activities for kids do not always need to be sought out. A lot of games that children, especially girls, play such as Playing House and hosting tea parties for toys naturally put them into the shoes of somebody else. Role–playing encourages them to express their feelings verbally and through actions. You can step in at certain points to ask “What does ‘your character’ feel” or “Why ‘your character’ feels this?” By referring to the character as a third person, the child will feel removed from their own emotions while identifying the emotions of the character – this is the essence of empathy!
7. Identifying With Characters In Books
Reading a book that tells the story of one or more people, is essentially an exercise in empathy! This is why teaching empathy through children’s literature is highly effective. We feel a bond with the character in the pages because we see the ups and downs in their life! After reading the book, ask questions like “Why did you like the character?”, “Was there anyone in the book that you did not like?”, etc. to help the child disassociate their empathetic feelings and see it as a separate entity from their own feelings.
8. Helping Out In The House
Barring age and gender-defined roles, ask your child to help out with household chores – whether it be helping mommy, daddy or the grandparents in what they are doing. More than lending a serving hand, giving them this “responsibility” once in a while will help them see how others spend their days and the troubles they take in keeping up the house!
9. Positive Reinforcement
If you observe your child perform a genuine act of kindness, praise them for it. You shouldn’t go overboard with lavish praise, but only enough to let them know that you observed it and that you appreciated it. You can also discuss the feelings of the person who your child showed kindness to. Do not reward them with something tangible like a toy or a treat for this though – you don’t want them to associate kindness to rewards! Positive Reinforcement is much more effective than the other side of the coin - punitive action - in how to develop empathy in a child.
10. Help Them Identify Themselves As An Empathetic Person
Help your child develop a moral identity by consciously talking to them about it. Encourage them to assess their own actions with the question “what kind of person would do that?” If a child is praised for a kindly act with the words, “You are such a helpful person” (words indicating the type of person they are) rather than “What a kind thing to do!”, (speaking of this one act in seclusion) they are more likely to repeat the positive behaviour.
When your child is empathetic, they can even better gauge how you, the parent, are feeling! Children will naturally try to cheer you up when you are sad, alleviate tension when you are stressed and laugh with you when you are happy. An empathetic child is every parent’s strength. As they grow older, and you with them, they will be your steadfast partners in the journey of life.
Also Read:
Teaching Your Child to Share
Teach Good Manners to Your Kids
Ways to Teach Responsibility to Kids Read more
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Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
11 hours ago
Q. when baby is kick? I'm 13 weeks pregnant
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
11 hours ago
A. during first pregnancy you may feel the baby movements after 24 to 25 weeks of pregnancy and till then only mild flatters may be felt but which you may not be feeling if you are doing some work
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
11 hours ago
Q. I’m in my 31 week 1 day of pregnancy. What will be my delivery date??
As I have low lying placenta with grade 1 maturity.
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
10 hours ago
A. you had to correlate is ultrasound examination. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
11 hours ago
Q. My hemoglobin is 6.4 from 28 weeks of pregnancy. Now I’m 31 weeks pregnant. What should I do?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
10 hours ago
A. Haven’t when you having some kind of iron supplement because they’re very good during the time of pregnancy if you are not having one you need to start with and whatever tabs you take you should just take it with any good juice specially pomegranate juice that’s going to help in doubling the impact of the medicine that you’re taking secondly try and include more of Iron which diet like spinach broccoli beetroot pomegranate black rice sweet potato these things are exceptionally healthy for you to consume
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
10 hours ago
Q. This is my cbc report
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
10 hours ago
A. No there is nothing visible on my wall so I can really really cannot help you can you please repose the question once again providing all the necessary details as once I’m certain what are you talking about what’s mentioned in the report according to that I can provide you proper help on your question
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
8 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert
now I'm 24 weeks. Sometimes I'm feeling pain in my thigh.
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
8 hours ago
A. For thegh query asked needs consultation with doctor for proper guidance so it is better that the doctor will guide you the correct way .
Onlfine consultation can also be taken and the expert will give you the proper answer .
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
4 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert
what is the pain killer than can be taken by a breastfeeding mother to deal with pain of stitches after delivery?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
50 mins ago
A. dolo 650 safe analgesic. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
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