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Ways To Calculate Safe Period To Avoid Pregnancy
For thousands of years, people have been determining infertile days or safe periods for intercourse to avoid pregnancy. Once you understand the menstrual cycle and what happens in each phase, you can calculate safe days with higher accuracy. The premise behind a safe period calculator is to prevent an unwanted pregnancy naturally, without any side effects.
What is a Safe Period (Unfertile Period)?
‘Safe period’ refers to the days when a woman has reduced chances of getting pregnant. So, if you do not want a baby and do not want to use contraceptives either, this is the time you should have sex with your partner.
Biologically speaking, this is the time whenthe egg is not present to be fertilised. If you have intercourse when there is no egg, you cannot get pregnant because this is the unfertile period in a menstrual cycle.
For most women, ovulation occurs approximately 14 days before the next menstruatal cycle starts. It is not easy to know exactly when you would start your next menstrual cycle . However, if your periods are mostly regular, it is easy to calculate the days of ovulation. To do this, you need to use the date of the previous menstrual cycle as a starting point. It is important to note that an egg can be fertilised only four days before ovulation and three days after ovulation. In other words, this is not the safe period, and so, you should avoid intercourse during this period.
Why Should You Calculate Your Safe Period?
Calculating your safe period is advantageous because it will help you understand what days it is favourable to have sex without protection and with no pregnancy scares. Knowing how to calculate your safe period is essential if you do not wish to have a child right away. However, more importantly, safe period calculation is a great method of birth control because it does not involve ingesting hormonal birth control pills, using an IUD, or hormone injections which can have different effects on different women, ranging from extreme mood swings to weight gain and other problems that hamper one’s well-being.
How to Calculate Your Safe Period to Avoid Pregnancy
To calculate your safe days, you need to understand the various phases of the menstrual cycle.
Phases of the Cycle
The menstrual cycle can be divided into three phases: the follicular phase (pre-ovulation phase), the ovulation phase, and the luteal phase (post-ovulation phase). The duration of each phase varies from woman to woman. However, the average menstrual cycle is believed to be 28 days. The menstrual cycle is counted from the first day of menstrual bleeding. Let’s look at what happens in each phase.
1. The Follicular Phase / Proliferative Phase
The follicular phase occurs before ovulation. In this phase, the maturation of the follicles in the ovary takes place. This phase ends with ovulation. In this stage, estradiol is the hormone at work, and the Follicle-Stimulating Hormone (FSH) is secreted.
2. The Ovulation Phase
It is in the ovulation phase that a mature ovarian follicle ruptures and discharges an ovum (also known as an egg). The time just before and after ovulation is usually referred to as the ovulation phase. A woman could get pregnant on the days she is ovulating.
3. The Luteal Phase / Secretory Phase
The luteal phase is the last phase of the menstrual cycle. It is marked by the creation of the corpus luteum and terminates in either pregnancy or degradation of the corpus luteum. The corpus luteum is a temporary endocrine structure that helps produce oestrogen and progestogen. The body needs oestrogen and progestogen to maintain the endometrium, the inner lining of the uterus.
The safe days for a woman after a period depend on the lifespan of both the sperm and egg. In most cases, ovulation happens on the 14th day of the menstrual cycle if the menstrual cycle is of average length (28 days). The ovulation time varies for each woman and can occur from the 12th day to the 19th day of the cycle. A sperm usually lives for 3 to 5 days in the reproductive tract. Therefore, it is possible to become pregnant unprotected sex is had five days before ovulation. The lifespan of the egg is quite short- only about 24 hours. If fertilisation does not occur within that time frame, the egg will die.
Safe Period Chart to Avoid Pregnancy
Here is a quick look at the breakup of safe days and unsafe days which simplifies the calculation for you and explains how to count your safe days:
Safe times using the calendar method
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Start of period 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Safe Days
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
Unsafe days
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
Unsafe Days
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
Safe Days
Start of period 29
30
1
2
3
4
5
Safe Days
When to Have Sex to Avoid Pregnancy
1. What Is a Safe Period to Have Sex?
A thumb rule – If you are having sex, you can get pregnant! Despite all calculations and theories, there is no definite way to determine when a woman will ovulate, so many factors come into play. Most women ovulate 12 to 14 days before they begin their period, but some women ovulate at a different time. So, figuring out when it is safe to have sex yet avoid pregnancy is quite a guessing game.
2. How Long Is a Safe Period?
Based on their experiences, many women believe that it is safe to have sex and avoid getting pregnant just after their period starts or before it begins. Beware, fluctuating hormones and changing schedules can make these calculations inaccurate. As a general rule, if your cycle is a regular one (28 days), then the seven days before your period should be the safe period. But do not forget that this calculation works only if your periods are regular. Here’s what a missed period may mean.
3. How to Calculate the Time of Ovulation?
Safe period and ovulation are related because safe days are calculated based on ovulation. According to the popular Safe Period Calculator method, day 1 to day 7 are safe and unfertile in a regular menstrual cycle which lasts 26 to 32 days. This takes into account the premise that the lifespan of the sperm in the reproductive canal is 3 to 5 days. This method calculates that ovulation occurs onthe 19th day. Therefore, fertilisation can occur until the 20th day of the cycle. Since all these calculations are an approximation, and the results can vary from woman to woman.
This calculation is adjusted to reflect WHO (World Health Organization) data that shows that approximately 80% of menstrual cycles range between 26 to 32 days.
Different Methods to Calculate Safe Period
Here are some methods you can use to calculate your safe period:
Safe Period Calculator or Menstrual Cycle Calculator
Cycle calculators are accurate in most cases. However, many people find these calculators and apps very complex. Also, most of the information that they ask to calculate the infertile period, - for example, months of data about body temperature, cervical mucus and dates of menstruation - may not be readily available with every woman. Put simply, to use these calculators, you would need data about your periods as well as body temperature handy. Therefore, many people prefer using simpler period calculators like the ones below, which do not ask for months of data but still give accurate results.
1. Avoid Your Fertile Days
Avoid your fertile period. Remember, safe days depend on different cycle lengths. The following table lists the most fertile days for various cycle lengths. If you do not want to get pregnant, you need to avoid intercourse on the following days:
Length of Cycle
Most Fertile Days
24 days
Days 5 to 10 of the cycle
28 days
Days 9 to 14 of the cycle
30 days
Days 11 to 16 of the cycle
35 days
Days 16 to 21 of the cycle
2. Calculate When You Are Less Likely to Get Pregnant
Keeping track of your periods for at least six months will help you map your fertile days.
Step 1:
Use this formula: Subtract 18 days from the total days of your shortest cycle. Using the resulting number, count from the first day of your next period and mark that date on your calendar.
Step 2:
Subtract 11 days from your longest cycle. Using that number, count forward from the first day of your next period. Mark that date on the calendar.
Step 3:
Your most fertile period is between those marked dates. It should be safe to have unprotected sex any time other than on those dates. However, bear in mind that sperm live up to 4 days, so count four days on either side as risky too. Note that this only works if your periods are regular.
3. Who Can Use the Safe Period Calculator?
You need to ask your doctor about the efficiency of natural family planning methods. The doctor will do a check-up and let you know if these would be effective for you. Use the safe period calculator as a natural birth control method only after your doctor gives the go-ahead.
If your menstrual cycle is regular and falls in the average range of 26 to 32 days and if the variation between your longest cycle and your shortest cycle is about seven days, you should be reasonably safe using the safe period calculator method as birth control.
4. Who Cannot Use the Safe Period Calculator?
Applying the same rule as above–if you are in the regular 26-day to 32-day cycle and the variation between your longest and your shortest cycle is more than eight days, then it would be risky to use this method.
Do remember that because of hormonal changes, it would be wiser to wait for six months after childbirth to use this method.
Also, because of erratic cycles, this method is not suitable for teenagers or women on the verge of menopause. This method might not work for women who have erratic cycles because of conditions like PCOS and hormonal imbalance.
5. Examples of Calculating Safe Periods
Calculating a safe period can be confusing. Here are two examples of calculating the same.
Take the example of a woman who has 24 days between 2 menstruating cycles. This means that her ovulation would be ten days after the first day of her last period. Based on this (24 minus 14) calculation, her safe period would be from day one to day six after her last period and from day thirteen to her next period.
Let’s take another example of a woman who has 32 days between 2 menstruation cycles. Her ovulation would be 18 days after her last period. Based on this calculation (32 minus 14), her safe period would be from day one after the last period to day 14 and from day 21 to the next period.
Safety: Women with regular menstruating cycles have an 85% safety ratio for not getting pregnant in 12 months. However, the success rate depends on how well you calculate the safe period and how religiously you follow it.
Handy Technology: In today’s world of technological advancement, there are numerous apps available that can help you chart your menstrual cycle, calculate your infertile days and store all this data for your quick reference!
There are many tools like a menstrual cycle calculator that are available. These tools will give you a rough estimate of your ovulation period. As a result, you can calculate ovulation as well as the safe period with higher accuracy and greater ease.
Natural Family Planning (Fertility Awareness-based Methods)
Your body demonstrates various signs in the ovulation phase. If you recognise these signs and avoid sex when you see these signs, you can avoid pregnancy. This is also called natural family planning.
Various fertility awareness-based methods are:
1. Basal Body Temperature Method
Charting your basal body temperature is quite easy. To put it simply, what you do is take your temperature first thing every morning and plot it on a chart.
Some women experience a drop in body temperature when they are ovulating.
If you see a temperature shift that lasts for at least three days or occurs at the end of your cycle, you can draw a line between your follicular phase and luteal phase temperature. You might also observe a clear shift and be able to track the path between the lowest luteal phase BBT and the highest follicular phase BBT.
Analyse the chart at the end of the month to find the pattern.
Create such a chart for 3-6 months to see a clear pattern.
If your temperature does not come down for more than 18 days, we recommend you do a pregnancy test at home or see a doctor.
2. Charting Basal Body Temperature
Keep these 4 rules in mind when charting your basal body temperature:
First 5 days rule: For the most part, you can assume that you are infertile during the first five days of your menstrual cycle. This may not be accurate if you have had a cycle that was shorter than 25 days. To determine this, track your menstrual cycle for about six months.
Dry day rule: You might be infertile on the day you don’t observe any cervical fluid.
Peak plus 4 rule: Your infertile period starts on the 4th evening after your most fertile cervical fluid (CF). This is when your CF becomes infertile again, and there is a clear BBT shift.
Temp plus 3 rule: You might be infertile on the evening of the 3rd day after your BBT shift.
Women with regular menstruating cycles have an 85% safety ratio for not getting pregnant. However, the success rate depends on how well you calculate the safe period and how religiously you follow it.
Once you figure out how to track the signs of fertility, you can safely indulge in unprotected sex during the infertile period. If you think you are at risk of being fertile, use protection or abstain.
It is important to remember that no method is fool-proof. While most of the methods are accurate and time-tested, hormonal ups and downs in a woman’s body can make your calculations go awry. It’s best to follow the golden rule: when in doubt, assume you’re fertile.
3. Cervical Mucus / Ovulation Method
The colour of cervical mucus changes when you are ovulating. Note the colour of cervical mucus every day. A change in colour would indicate that you are in the ovulation phase.
Here is how you can interpret your cervical mucus:
The flow masks the mucus during menstruation.
No mucus is produced for a few days after menstruation. These ‘dry days’ are safe days.
When the ovum ripens for the next cycle, mucus production increases. It appears yellow, white, or cloudy, and feels sticky.
Clear, slippery mucus which is stretchable indicates the most fertile days of the cycle.
A few ‘dry days’ after clear mucus indicates the onset of the next period.
4. Sympto-thermal Method
A combination of multiple methods, this involves tracking ovulation symptoms like pain in the abdomen, heaviness and tender breasts, in addition to body temperature and the colour of the mucus. Using different methods simultaneously ensures that the safe days are predicted with greater accuracy.
5. Cycle Beads App
The Cyc leBeads smartphone app is available for both Android and iPhone users. It is based on the highly effective family planning method of the same name.
Enter the start date of your most recent period.
The screen will show you where you are in your menstrual cycle and the chances of pregnancy on that day.
This method is most effective for women with a menstrual cycle from 26 days to 32 days.
Women with a cycle falling outside this range should use a different method of family planning.
Here is how to use the cycle beads:
On the first day of the period, place a rubber ring in the red bead.
Move the band over the beads in the direction of the arrow.
The brown beads indicate safe days. The white beads indicate unsafe days.
6. Standard Days Method
Similar to the calendar method, this method involves tracking your cycle for eight to ten continuous cycles and is effective only if your cycle is more than 27 days.
Here is how you can predict safe days using this method:
Consider the shortest cycle for the calculation of the first fertile day.
Subtract 18 from the total number of days.
Use the result to count from the first day of your cycle to mark the first fertile day.
Consider the longest cycle for the calculation of the last fertile day.
Subtract 11 from the total number of days.
Use the result to count from the first day of your cycle to mark the last fertile day.
When you have identified your first and last fertile days, it is easy to track the safe sex days too.
Standard assumptions:
Sperm lives for 4-6 days in the reproductive tract and can fertilise an egg during this period.
Only one egg is released per cycle and lives for 24 hours, during which time it can be fertilised.
The most fertile period is 7 days before ovulation and 3-4 days after your period.
How Effective Are Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs) to Avoid Pregnancy?
Because of many variable factors, the safe-days method is not 100% reliable. Some women trust this method completely. Hormonal changes (that you are not aware of) and irregular periods can cause errors in calculating the infertile period. Condoms are the easiest option, but if you dislike using then the next best choice is oral contraception.
FAMs will work only if:
You are meticulous with the safe period calculation and follow it accurately.
Your partner is willing to follow the safe-days-only sex method.
You use other forms of contraception on your fertile days.
What Are the Advantages of Using Fertility Awareness Methods to Avoid Pregnancy?
If used correctly, FAMs can give you reasonable protection from an unwanted pregnancy.
Some advantages of using FAMs are:
No expense
No medication, therefore no side effects
Greater understanding between a couple
Some religious beliefs do not allow artificial contraception, so safe days method is a preferred option
What Are the Disadvantages of Using Fertility Awareness Methods to Avoid Pregnancy?
Difficult to implement if your partner is unwilling to follow this method
No protection against sexually transmitted diseases
Some medicines (even over-the-counter ones) can cause errors in calculation
Sometimes the tracking of periods becomes cumbersome and calculations can be inaccurate because of hormonal changes
Things to Remember About Having Sex During the Safe Period
First and foremost, there is no such thing as a 100% safe period
It works best if your periods are regular because fluctuating cycles can cause an aberration
If your menstrual cycle days fluctuate by more than eight days in a six- month period, the safe day calculation will not work.
Sometimes you might need to use emergency contraceptive pills to avoid a pregnancy
Other Ways to Have Sex Without Worrying About Getting Pregnant
Looking for other ways to have sex without worrying about conception? We’ve got you covered.
1. Use a Condom
The easiest method of contraception, condoms also protect you from STDs.
2. Try New Positions, Places and Tricks
Spice upthings by having intercourse in different positions and at different places in the house!
3. Invest in Sex Toys
With couples shedding their inhibitions in the bedrooom, it is easy to find a sex toy which you both love. Choose from vibrators, dildos and more for a pleasurable experience.
4. Sexy Foreplay
Engage in a game of strip poker or invent a game of your own to add an element of fun to foreplay.
The FAM is one method of birth control, but it comes with its disadvantages. So, make sure you are vigilant and thorough with your calculations to avoid an accidental pregnancy.
Also Read:
Calendar Based Methods of Contraception
Can You Get Pregnant on Your Period? Read more
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8 Scholarship Exams for Class 1, 2 and 3
Competitions and exams provide kids with an opportunity to earn scholarships and rewards. Participating in scholarship exams during the school days would provide a student with outstanding monetary supports. This can also boost the confidence of kids and could help in improving their CV when they try to apply for established colleges and universities and even for their first jobs. Too many good reasons to make your child participate in these exams, right? If your child is in primary school, worry not! Here are 8 scholarship exams for kids who are in class 1, 2, or 3.
Scholarship Exams for Primary School Students
Education is meant for all, but unfortunately, a considerable segment of students in the society fail to access quality education. One of the best ways to provide quality education for students who come under the underprivileged section is through scholarships programs. Competitions and contests are an excellent opportunity for kids to bring out their brain and talents. There are many programs starting from scholarship exams for class 1.
1. BrainX National Maths Contest
This competition is famous as it is designed for creative testing and specialised ground in mathematics. This is conducted to encourage maths among students.
Eligibility: This exam is open to all school students from class 1 to class 5.
Subjects Included: Mathematics
Types of Questions: The problems are mostly designed to check critical thinking, judgement, and application of maths. The test promotes three major aspects here:
Knowledge of skills as per age and class. For example basic arithmetic problems for like addition, multiplication, number system, etc. A child must be able to answer these direct problems correctly.
Application in real life situations, i.e., a child must be able to recognise where to add and subtract in real life.
Reasoning and judgement to test whether a child can take real-life decisions using his math skills.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: it is conducted by logic roots.
How to Apply: This scholarship exam is conducted annually. Schools can also register.
Registration Fee: INR 100
2. The Velammal Science Talent Search Exam
This scholarship test is conducted to discover the students with the right potential to study and help them pursue their studies with excellent cash awards. The total prize of this scholarship is about Rs 4 lakhs which are separated across 6 different levels.
Eligibility: Any student from class 1 to class 12 studying in Tamil Nadu or Pondicherry can apply.
Subjects Included: Mathematics and science
Types of Questions: The questions asked in this exam are mostly based on the basic maths and science syllabuses followed in the schools.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: The Velammal Educational Trust of Tamil Nadu conducts this scholarship program.
How to Apply: You can apply either through the school or you can register online. The registrations start every year in September and end by October.
Registration Fee: INR 50
3. MaRRS International Spelling Bee Contest
This spelling bee competition is one of the largest scholarship programs for students in Asia. This program is very reputed among schools all across Asia. This contest starts with a preliminary round at the inter-school level. Students move to the next round after qualifying each round and finally compete at an international level held every year.
Eligibility: This competition is open to school students from class 1 to 12.
Subjects Included: English language.
Types of Questions: The questions asked focus on the English language.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: The spelling bee is conducted by MaRRS intellectual services private limited.
How to Apply: You can register either through the school or directly on the official website.
Registration Fee: The registration fees are based on the level of the exam. For the school level, it is Rs 200. For international level, it is Rs 7000 and Rs 10190 for orientation.
4. National Science Olympiad
This is an annual Olympiad that gives a huge platform to encourage young geniuses and give them an opportunity to win prestigious scholarships and awards.
Eligibility: For its math scholarship, students from grade 1 can apply.
Subjects Included: Logical reasoning and science.
Types of Questions: The questions asked are of objective types with no negative marking for wrong answers.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: It is conducted by Science Olympiad Foundation(SOF).
How to Apply: You can register only from schools. Direct/ individual applications are not considered.
Registration Fee: INR 120
5. International Math Olympiad
This competition is to encourage mathematical ability in children. This will help young mathematicians develop their interest in the subject.
Eligibility: Students from grade 1 to 12 are allowed to participate.
Subjects Included: Logical reasoning, Mathematical reasoning, and everyday mathematics.
Types of Questions: The questions are asked in the objective format. No negative markings for wrong answers.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: it is conducted by Science Foundation Olympiad (SFO).
How to Apply: You should register through your schools. No individual applications will be considered.
Registration Fee: INR 120
6. Maths Talent Search Examination (MTSE)
This competition checks a child's mathematical skill and mental ability. This scholarship exam is for students from class 3 to 11. It helps the students to understand and have an experience of national and international exams they will face further in life.
Eligibility: Students from grade 3 to 11 can take part in this competition.
Subjects Included: Mathematics
Types of Questions: they are objective type questions. Each question has four alternatives.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: The exam is conducted by the Indian Institute for Studies in Mathematics (IISMA)
How to Apply: You can register for this exam online.
Registration Fee: INR 250
7. Geogenius
This scholarship exam is for students from class 2 to 10 and tests the geographical knowledge of the students. This is an Indian Geography Olympiad. This test helps cultivate reasoning ability in students and develops their problem-solving skills.
Eligibility: Any student from class 2 to class 10 can apply.
Subjects Included: Geography
Types of Questions: The questions asked are based on political, physical, and cultural geography. Also, the questions are multiple choice questions.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: Geogenius organises this Olympiad.
How to Apply: You can register through school.
Registration Fee: INR 140
8. International General Knowledge Olympiad
This exam will help promote general awareness in children. This also helps students to stay updated about current affairs of India and other countries and major parts of the world.
Eligibility: This contest is open to all students from class 1 to class 10.
Subjects Included: Basic general knowledge
Types of Questions: The competitions consist of objective type questions.
Medium of Examination: English
Conducting Body: It is conducted by Science Olympiad Foundation.
How to Apply: You can register through schools. Individual applications are not allowed.
Registration Fee: INR 125
Most of the scholarships tests are conducted to test basic skills and aptitude of children. Primary school students taking part in these scholarship exams are expected to have good application-level knowledge of basic arithmetic functions like addition and multiplication and basic sciences. You can prepare your kid by helping him master these skills. Also, make him work on his speed. This is an excellent opportunity to help your child develop knowledge and experience the thrill of competition.
Disclaimer: This article is only a guideline that gives parents information about the scholarships available for primary school students in India. The information provided here is subject to change at any time based on the discretion of the bodies that govern the scholarships. We suggest parents to kindly do a thorough research before deciding to opt for any of these scholarships.
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Setting Healthy Boundaries for Your Child - Why and How
Child rearing psychology has been through many changes throughout the years. For instance, a few decades ago, parents made decisions for their kids. Children back then were even subjected to punishment. In recent times, the child-knows-best mode of rearing has come into place, with parents often allowing their little ones to choose for themselves. In theory, this is a great practice, but children cannot make right decisions, well not always. Hence, it should be a parent's duty to help their kids find direction in life. You should focus on your child’s behaviour as well as on their emotional state, as nothing supersedes their mental health and peace of mind. Nevertheless, as a parent, you must ensure that you set healthy boundaries for your child, within which he can thrive and learn to handle the world around him. This article will explain how to establish boundaries for kids and the importance of setting limits.
Why Is It Important to Set Limits for Kids?
These days, it is observed that parents are considerably free with their kids, with no clear set boundaries. Sometimes this can be problematic. Below you will find a few reasons as to why you should set rules and boundaries for your children:
1. The Brain of Kids is Not Fully Developed
Children have prefrontal lobes that are not entirely formed. This leads to something known as “magical thinking” according to child psychologists. This allows them to live in a semi-imaginary world, which means they are not capable of making big decisions, hence parents should make important decisions for them. Children under the age of eight are less abstract in their thinking, making them less likely to know the better of two decisions. Of course, this excludes simple choices like what clothes to wear or which food to eat. Let them choose that.
2. Limits Make Kids Feel Protected
Young children thrive on routine and discipline. Establishing firm timelines for different activities will instil a sense of predictability, which in turn can lower uncertainty and anxiety. Yes, there will be days when your child may rebel but make him understand that the boundaries you have set are for his own good. As he grows, he will realise that whatever you are doing is in his best interest and he will feel protected and cherished.
3. Boundaries Interrupt Narcissistic Tendencies
It is not a good idea to allow your child to get control over you, especially when it comes to making important decisions. This will make them feel like they are the centre of the world, and can lead to narcissistic personality disorder. Children need to experience the feeling of disappointment and loss, so they can learn how to deal with these situations as adults. However, please ensure your boundaries for them are not dictatorial or extremely strict, as this can lead to trust issues in later years.
Tips to Set Boundaries for Children
If you are wondering about how to set limits for your child, then these tips will help you establish proper boundaries:
1. Don’t Expect Too Much
Please set limits keeping in mind the developmental stage of your child. For instance, toddlers find their way everywhere while older kids can refuse or demand reasons for your rules. Remember that it takes a while for them to cross these stages of growth, and set your rules accordingly.
2. Use a Warm and Friendly Tone
Be friendly with kids without letting them have their way. If you speak to your child in an angry tone or shout at him unnecessarily, it will scare him or make him feel nervous and he will be obliged to follow the boundaries. Frightened children will agree to your limits but not happily. Therefore, if you want your kid to follow the limits that you have set for him, speak to him in a gentle and friendly tone. First, make him feel relaxed and safe and then talk.
3. Be Clear in Your Approach
Don’t use words that can mean multiple things. For example, don’t tell your child you don't want him to do or not do something specific. Instead, tell him softly what he is doing, why it is wrong, inappropriate or dangerous. Explain this gently and ask him to change his behaviour.
4. Plan in Advance
It is important to strategise in advance, especially when it comes to setting limits for preschoolers. As parents, you should be aware of when your kid is most emotionally comfortable and when and where he begins to get fussy, nervous, or angry.
5. Let Your Child Complain
Your child will invariably complain about the limits you have set. This cannot be avoided. But it will certainly help if you react to his upset state with composure and understanding rather than being angry at him. Yes, he will complain in the beginning but later he will understand why you have set boundaries for him.
6. Remain Firm in Your Decisions
Do not waver once you set boundaries for your kid. Your child will complain initially, making you feel that you should give up but don't. Be firm in your decisions and remember that you are doing it for your child's good future. Set boundaries but change them as per circumstances.
7. Maintain Consistent Body Language
Keep your non-verbal cues consistent. This is important to maintain authority. Instead of intimidating your child with your height and body, crouch down to his level and maintain a neutral facial expression. Explain him about the rules you have set for him in a serious yet friendly tone and he will follow them.
8. Don’t Over Explain the Boundaries
Explain yourself once or twice, until your child understands what you mean. Don’t keep trying to get it through his head, as this will only annoy both of you.
9. Make Him Feel Protected
Be there for your child whenever he needs you or whenever you think he is in danger. For instance, if he insists on running across the road or tries to climb trees, hold his hand and stop him from doing so. Keep calm and remember that you must not ever touch your child when you are feeling enraged. Further, please keep an eye on the amount of force you are using, so your child does not feel pain. It is also necessary that you let him go once he calms down or is able to handle himself.
10. Be Humorous
Being funny always works. You can set your limits with songs, limericks, rhymes, anything that sounds entertaining and amusing. Use a funny voice or create a fictional character who is actually making the rules instead of you doing it. This will take less time than other tactics such as shouting or bribing your children.
How Do You Know If You Are Blurring Boundaries as a Parent?
It is possible to blur your boundaries as a parent. This is unhealthy for your relationship with your child as they need to see you as loving, warm, and protective but also as an authority figure. Here are a few signs to keep an eye out for:
Allowing your little ones to explore your personal space, either yours or your partners. This makes them feel like they are the centre of your world all the time.
Not allowing your child to do things which they are completely capable of. This makes them dependent on you for the most basic things.
Having an emotional reaction to your child’s outburst. This might make him feel like he can’t be emotionally available for you.
Continuously interrogating your little one about anything and everything. This will make him scared of you and will lead to distrust.
Allowing your kid to do whatever he wants without stopping him. When you do this, he does not see you as an authority figure.
Treating your child more like a peer than as a child. This might be fun for a short time but will lead to problems when you want him to follow certain rules.
Treating him as an extension of yourself, with his victories and losses being yours. This puts pressure on him to perform better to please you, causing unnecessary anxiety and stress.
Children will always push your tolerance, patience, and stress levels. This is something that you have in your complete control. Please understand that your child wanting to do more things by himself is a part of his development stage. It is up to you to guide him along the way so that he can make the right choices and correct decisions in his life. It can be easy to simply let your kid do what he wants instead of keeping firm limits. It is also easy to force strict military rules on a kid so that he is totally obedient. But neither of these techniques will make your child into a healthy or happy individual. Raising a child is a dynamic process, not a static one. You will not know everything in the beginning, but you can pick up a lot on the way. Once you define your limits and resolutely stick to them, your child will listen to you and look at your behaviour as something to be modelled.
Also Read: Healthy and Good Habits for Child to Learn Read more
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A Nine-month Guide to Getting your Finances in Order
Becoming a parent is the most overwhelming experience in life, but what if your finances are haywire? Whether it's a planned pregnancy or a sweet surprise, a financial jolt is unavoidable. However, with some hard work and trustworthy guidance, financial stability is well within your grasp. Here are some tips to help you plan your finances during pregnancy.
From hormonal changes and relationship bumps to scary financial challenges, having a baby is a life-changing event. Our guide to financial planning during pregnancy will let you take control of your finances today and prepare you monetarily for the arrival of the new family member. Plan your finances in advance and make sure that your wallet is ready for your baby.
How to Plan your Finances During Pregnancy
First Month
Start saving now to cope up with your future expenses! Write down a budget and work on the areas where you might be spending more than what is required. Also, find out if there is any way to curb your expenses. Smart money habits can make your life less stressful after delivery.
Second Month
Set some achievable saving goals based on your financial practices and future needs. Create a saving accounts, if you still don't have one. This will cover your baby's cost and also prove to be helpful when your income is low. Building an emergency fund is also recommended.
Third Month
Clear all your debts and keep yourself stress-free. For this, you may contact a non-profit credit counselling organisation. They will help you set realistic budgets and repayment plans. Remember, this will be the best time to clear all your loans, not when the baby arrives.
Fourth Month
Talk to your insurance provider about your prenatal, delivery, and post-delivery reimbursements. You may also want to consider the life and disability insurance that is recommended for both working and stay-at-home parents.
Fifth Month
The cost of delivery will be one of your major expenses. Consider on what the hospital or birthing centre will charge, and get prepared for it monetarily. You can also check out a few hospitals and find the difference in their costs in order to make an informed decision about delivery and other expenses.
Sixth Month
Consult your company's human resource department and discuss your employer's policy on parental leaves. Look into paid maternity leaves, flexible spending accounts, sick leaves, vacations, flexible timings and new-mom benefits. This will keep you covered for leaves during the first few months after your little one arrives.
Seventh Month
Creating a realistic budget is a part of your savings plan. Think about the kind of home you will want to move into, post pregnancy. Also consider the kind of child-care you would want for your baby. Figure out the baby budget that will add up to your cost of living. Practice living on your new budget from this time onward.
Eighth Month
Get some expert advice on financial stability during pregnancy. Talk to your mom, and take other parents' advice into consideration too. Their experience will help you figure out the cost of raising a baby. This will include food, clothing, and other expenses.
Ninth Month
Now that you know of the ways to plan your finances, it's time to do some smart shopping for your little one. Make a budget for the same and do not let emotions rule your practical shopping instincts. Enjoy this blissful time by knitting, pampering yourself, and most importantly, by taking care of your health and your baby's.
Follow this monthly planning chart to secure your finances before your bundle of joy arrives. After all, you wouldn't want to concentrate on expenses when you finally get to see your baby after such a long wait! Read more
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"हुनर की अहमियत"(कलाकृतियों की आवश्यकता आज भी बनी प्रतिक)
जी हां साथियों बहुत दिनों बाद आप लोगों के समक्ष यह लेख प्रस्तुत कर रही हॅूं ! आशा करती हॅूं कि आप अवश्य ही पसंद करेंगे ।
इस दुनिया में जन्म लेने के पश्चात जब मां ने बोलना सिखाया तो मुख से पहला शब्द ही निकला मां! यह कहना था,श्याम का जो चित्र प्रदर्शनी के अवसर पर सभी लोगों को बता रहा था और यह जानकर बहुत खुशी हुई कि पिछले साल से हम सभी कोरोनाकाल की तमाम कठिनाईयों का सामना करने के बावजूद भी हमारी कलाकृतियों की आज भी उतनी ही अहमियत है और श्याम ने अपनी मॉं की बनाई कलाकृतियों को भोपाल शहर में चित्र प्रदर्शनी में शामिल कर उनके सपनों को साकार किया ।
जी हां साथियों विकट समय एवं परिस्थितियॉं कभी कहकर नहीं आतीं!वह तो साहब बिन बुलाए मेहमान की तरह आतीं ही हैं और इसीलिए तो हम कहते भी हैं कि यूं तो धूप-छॉंव, उतार-चढ़ाव आते रहते हैं साहब, लेकिन यह भी तय है कि हर पतझड़ के बाद बहार का आना भी निश्चित है!और जिंदगी हमें यही खेल खिलाती है जनाब!इसी का नाम तो जीवन है ।
सच बताऊं साथियों!मुझे खुशी इस बात की हुई बचपन से मां के साथ कलाकृति तैय्यार करने में सहायता करने वाले श्याम ने उसके विचारों को अहमियत देते हुए मां की कलाकृति को जीवित रखा ।
अब मैं आपको श्याम और उसकी मां स्व. कलावती के संबंध में वाकिफ कराती हूँ।
श्याम ने बताया कि मां शहर आकर गोंड पेंटिंग करती तो गांव वाले मजाक उड़ाते थे, पर उन्होंने अपने काम की तरफ पूरा ध्यान केंद्रीत कर हुनर के निखार से सबको चुप कर दिया! जिस कलाकार में दिल से लगन हो कुछ कर दिखाने की तो वह अपनी कला को पूरा करके ही मानता है ।
श्याम ने चित्र प्रदर्शनी के अवसर पर सभी को अवगत कराया कि मां कहती थी कि वे पाटनगढ़ गांव की प्रथम महिला थी, जो शहर में आकर गोंड पेंटिंग करती थी । यह हुनर देखकर गांव के लोग उनका मजाक उड़ाया करते, लेकिन उन्होंने लगन से काम को करते हुए अपने हुनर से सबको चुप कर दिया । उन्होंने 25 से अधिक परिवारों को और 70 से अधिक लोगों को गोंड चित्रकला सिखाकर चित्रकारी के हुनर को जीवित रखा । यह कहना है राष्ट्रीय स्तर की गोंड महिला चित्रकार स्व. कलावती के बेटे संभव सिंह श्याम का । स्व. कलावती की याद में उनके बनाए चित्रों की प्रदर्शनी भोपाल शहर में शुरू हुई और इस विशेष चित्रकारी को लोगों द्वारा बहुत सराहा भी गया ।
श्याम ने मां द्वारा विभिन्न कलाकृतियों से अवगत कराया, जिसका संक्षिप्त विवरण निम्नलिखित रूप से प्रस्तुत है-
पेड़-पौधे, पशु-पक्षी ही बनाती थी मम्मी
संभव सिंह श्याम का कहना यह भी है कि उनकी मम्मी हमेशा चित्रों में पेड़-पौधे और पशु-पक्षी ही बनाया करती थीं । श्याम आठ साल का ही था तब से उसने सहायक के रूप में मम्मी के साथ काम किया । कलावती कहती थी कि पर्यावरण पर हम सभी निर्भर हैं, जिसकी झलक हमारे बनाए हुए चित्रों में भी दिखाई देना चाहिए ।
उनकी 250 पेंटिंग अधूरी ही रह गई
कलावती ने आखरी पेंटिंग डेढ़ हफ्ते तक बनाई, लेकिन अचानक तबियत बिगड़ने लगी और यह पेंटिंग अधूरी ही रह गई । उनकी करीब 250 पेंटिग ऐसी हैं, जो अधूरी ही रखी हुई हैं । वे एक दिन में पांच पेंटिंग पर एक साथ काम किया करती थीं ।
22 साल पुराना चित्र महत्वपूर्ण –
प्रदर्शनी में स्व. कलावती द्वारा बनाया गया करीब 22 साल पुराना चित्र भी प्रदर्शित किया गया, इस पेंटिंग को बेचने के बजाए उनकी याद स्वरूप रखा गया है । इनका एक चित्र जो 4x6 केनवॉस पर बना है, इसे बनाने में उन्हें 22 दिन लगे थें ।
जी हां आदिवासी कला केंद्र भोपाल में शुरू हुई राष्ट्रीय स्तर की बोंड चित्रकार स्व. कलावती श्याम के चित्रों की प्रदर्शनी से यह भी साबित होता है कि हुनर की कितनी अहमियत है और चित्रों के माध्यम से भी पर्यावरण को प्रदर्शित करना कोई आसान काम नहीं है । साथियों स्व. कलावती ने अपने चित्रों के माध्यम से भी पर्यावरण की आवश्यकता को ध्यान में रखा!फिर जरा सोचिएगा कि पर्यावरण संरक्षण हमारे स्वास्थ्य की दृष्टि से कितना लाभकारी है और हमें भी अपने आस-पास पर्यावरण बनाए रखने में भरसक प्रयास करना अति-आवश्यक है ।
फिर देखा आपने साथियों! किस तरह श्याम ने स्व.कलावती द्वारा बनाए गए चित्रों को यादगार-स्वरूप सहेज कर रखा, जो वाकई तारीफेकाबिल है । कोई लाख मजाक उड़ा ले जनाब! हुनर तो हुनर है और असली कलाकार कलाकृतियों में उकेर कर उसकी अहमियत आखिर दिखा ही देते हैं । अब स्व.कलावती हमारे बीच नहीं है, लेकिन उनके बेटे श्याम ने यादगार रूप में कलाकृतियों को जीवित रखा और एक जीवंत उदाहरण प्रस्तुत किया कि चाहे किसी भी तरह की परेशानी आ जाए! उससे भागना नहीं है अपितु सामना करना है ।
पिछले साल से हम सभी कोरोनाकाल से जूझ रहे हैं और बहुत सी अनिश्चित रूप से कठिनाईयों को झेला भी है, जिसमें आर्थिक, शारीरिक और मानसिक रूप से सबको हिला दिया है!परंतु किसी भी व्यक्ति में इस तरह से कोई भी हुनर हो तो वह स्वतंत्र रूप से अपने हुनर में निखार ला सकता है । सच में यह घटना हम सभी का हौसला बढ़ाने वाली और स्वच्छंदता से हुनर की अहमियत को प्रस्तुत करने वाली साबित हो रही है ।
फिर साथियों अपनी आख्या के माध्यम से बताईएगा जरूर आपको यह लेख कैसा लगा ? और आप मेरा लेखन यदि पसंद करते हों तो मेरे अन्य ब्लॉग्स पढ़ने हेतु भी आमंत्रित हैं ।
आरती अयाचित
स्वरचित एवं मौलिक
भोपाल Read more
Rayan has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
2 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert
good morning Ma'am..
My son is 4 months old. He gets stomach pain/ gas everyday at any time.. He cries for long when he gets pain.. I am giving him Colic aid everyday from last one month.. Only after giving colic aid he stops crying... what should I do to avoid his pain and medicine??
Read moreRayan
Mom of 2 children
1 hour ago
A. Hello mam! If it is due to colic pain /gas, it is common in newborns. Make sure that you burp your baby after every feed. Don't feed just before your baby is to sleep. Make a routine like feed, play and sleep. Burp inbetween feedings. Colic pain will stop automatically at 5 or 6 months. So don't worry. Happy parenting!
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. #asktheexpert
baby having nose block.. sleeping problem
what should I do?
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
1 hour ago
A. nasal blockage can be relieved by using nasal saline drops like nasoclear saline drops in thecg nose followed by nasal aspirator to take out the secretions very ghently
steam inhalation can also be helpful in this condition
Nikitha has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
50 mins ago
Q. At what month does the baby go from breech position to cephalic position?
Nikitha
Mom of a 9 yr 5 m old boy
28 mins ago
A. hello nearing your delivery it will happen.any concern then it would be better to check with your doctor and she will be able to guide you better on examination of the same and advise you accordingly which would be better and also safe
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
49 mins ago
Q. @ the time of birth baby weight 2.475kg but after completed 6weeks baby weight approx 3kg, why baby weight gain very slow, till breast-feeding milk and urinate 6-7 times and potty 2-3 times. can u please suggest why slow in progress in weight gain???
Read moreDr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
47 mins ago
A. the average birth weight of neonates is about 3 kg.
during the first few days after birth, the newborn loses
extracellular fluid equivalent to about 10% of the body
weight.
most infants regain their birth weight by the age of 10 days. subsequently, they gain weight at a rate of
approximately 25 to 30 g per day for the first 3 months of life.
thereafter they gain about 400 g weight every month,
for the remaining part of the first year. x
an infant usually doubles his birth weight (taken as 3 kg) by the age of 5 months. the birth weight triples at 1 year and is four times at 2 years of age.
the weight of ca child at the age of three years is usually
five times that of the birth weight.
Manisha Singh has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
43 mins ago
Q. #asktheexpert mera baby 3 month ka h use gas bhuat banti h is karan wo bhuat rota hai
Manisha Singh
Expecting Mom due in 1 month
13 mins ago
A. it's very common for babies having gas problem ...you should recommend your doctor for this
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
41 mins ago
Q. Hi
what to give 6 months old baby to eat
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
18 mins ago
A. Hello dear! Once your baby completes 6 months you can start giving small quantities of semi solids like homemade cerelac, mashed bananas, apple puree, ragi and so on. Continue with breastfeeding. Keep Babyhug tummy roll on handy
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Deepshikha
Mom of a 1 yr old boy
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#cutestbaby
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Guardian of a 8 m old boy
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