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Controlling Parents - Types, Signs and How to Deal With Them
Children frequently believe that their parents are too restrained in allowing them to live their own lives. This might be due to the child just pushing limits and developing a bit quicker than the parent understands, or it can be due to the parent wanting to dominate the child’s life. There are various reasons for wanting to control your kid, ranging from being a perfectionist to fearing that they will repeat your errors, and many parents are unaware that they are damaging rather than protecting their children.
What Are Controlling Parents?
Controlled parenting is a parenting style in which one or both parents keep a close eye on their children’s activities or maintain control over their life. It’s also known as authoritarian parenting, in which the parents place a strong emphasis on discipline and rigorous adherence to rules and regulations. Such parents may be unconcerned with their children’s needs, and their general behavior may be harmful. While some parents may grow out of this practice as their children get older, others may strive to manage their adult children as well.
What Are the Types of Parental Control?
Different styles of controlling parents directly affect children, adolescents, and adults, influencing their emotional regulation and overall well-being as they get older. As a result, it’s critical to use age-appropriate strategies to foster autonomy, develop problem-solving abilities, and improve stress management. There are three sorts of parental control:
1. Psychological Control
Manipulation tactics are used to manipulate or compel youngsters to obey. Guilt, humiliation, loss of affection, emotional blackmail, and invalidating sentiments are some of the strategies used.
2. Over-Controlling Parents
Over controlling, parents are characterized by a great amount of love and support and a high level of control. Due to parental over-involvement, the dynamic results in low degrees of autonomy.
3. Behavioral Control
Parental efforts to govern and monitor a child’s conduct are known as behavioral control. Inappropriate behavioral management for a child’s age might limit possibilities for autonomous development and influence emotional and social development.
Ways of Controlling Children
Depending on the methods used by controlling parents, children may have a diverse experience with parental control. The following are two approaches to regulating practice:
Controlling Externally: Parenting is controlled from the outside in an obvious and overt manner. The most popular tactics used to compel children to use external consequences include shouting, striking, punishing, and praising. Internal control is not usually psychological control. Some parents engage in personal assaults or unstable emotional conduct toward their children, such as swinging between caring and assaulting. Externally dominating parenting styles include harsh parenting, helicopter parenting, and rigid parenting. All of these parenting approaches are authoritarian.
Controlling Internally: Subtle nonverbal cues are frequently used to exercise psychological control. When parents generate sentiments of shame and guilt, these parents primarily appeal to forces and laws that lie inside the kid. Most psychological control tactics internally regulate parenting techniques since the control is more internal, covert, and nonobvious.
Reasons Why Parents Become Controlling
They may have a few unfair expectations, which might lead to them being controlling parents. Controlled parenting, regardless of aim, may have adverse consequences. Some reasons for controlling behavior in parents are:
Some parents may not want to sacrifice their ego or dominance or to treat their children equally when they have grown up. They may feel lonely and wish for their children to be there for them anytime they require assistance.
Unlived lives: Parents have strong opinions about their children’s lives because they want them to experience things that they never did.
They don’t want their children to make errors in life, some parents may become overbearing. As a result, they become overprotective.
Another factor might be apprehension about losing children. They may be terrified about growing up and being separated from their children. In this instance, they strive to maintain control and ensure that the child is constantly present.
Signs That Indicate Your Parents Are Controlling
The connection between the parents and the adult kid should grow through time as the child evolves into an adult. Otherwise, as in the case of regulated parenting, the equation may unravel. The following are some indications of a domineering parent:
1. Your Parents Are Always Going to Have an Opinion About You
Do your parents advise you what to eat, dress, or even what job path you should take? Do they pass judgment on you, have an opinion about everything you do or say, and try to persuade you to adopt their perspective? Then your parents are most likely domineering. When you’re a youngster, having counsel is beneficial, but such viewpoints may be overwhelming and leave you in a bind as an adult. You’ll eventually get reliant on their approval and may find it tough to make wise judgments on your own.
2. Your Parents Handle Your Obligations
You’re an adult now, and you’re capable of handling your responsibilities, whether it’s traveling alone, cleaning your room, or managing your money. However, if your parents are always attempting to do your responsibilities, they may exert control over you.
3. No Privacy
If your parents don’t allow you to have privacy, offer each other some space. This basic concept also applies to adult children’s relationships with their parents. Either of your parents may be violating your privacy because of their domineering personality. Your parents might be monitoring you on Facebook or other social networking sites, reading your emails, or listening to your phone calls, to name a few instances. Remember that there is a fine line between your parents monitoring your internet activity as a youngster and meddling with and reading your communications as an adult.
4. Your Parents Are Unkind and Uncaring
Controlling parents may supply their children with basics, but they may not comprehend them. They may not be sympathetic to you owing to their busy schedules or a desire not to lose control over you.
5. Your Parents Have Complete Control Over You
It is a symptom of control if your parents continue to control you by rejecting your ideas or forcing you to do something against your will. For example, it indicates dominance if your parents compel you to sample a dish you dislike.
6. You’re Made to Feel Obligated by Your Parents
You may feel forced to do what your parents want of you if they continually remind you of how much they have done for you. However, if they desire something from you that you don’t want, they might be a controlling parent.
7. Your Parents Are Controlling
If your parents frequently pressurize, shame, or blame you, it might be a symptom of manipulative parenting. This is a hidden or passive kind of parenting in which the kid is compelled to do something they do not want to do.
8. Their Compassion and Love Are Sometimes Conditional
If you follow their instructions, they will lavish you with love and admiration. They grow irritated and may threaten to withdraw their financial assistance if you ever follow your heart.
9. Dramatic
When you don’t do what they want, they get a little too theatrical. Controlling parents may become enraged, act erratically, and even claim that your failure to follow their instructions has injured them mentally.
10. They Tend to Magnify Your Errors
Overbearing parents will make you regret even the tiniest of errors. They’ll keep reminding you of your errors and try to persuade you that everything happened because you didn’t listen to them.
Effects of Controlling Parenting on Children
Overparenting is typically motivated by concern for a child’s well-being or a desire to live vicariously through them; nonetheless, there are a few areas of impact of controlling parents on mental health, it prevents children from making decisions, solving issues, and learning how to cope with emotions and change. Children of controlling parents are forced to submit to parental authority, which leads to emotional uneasiness and reliance as they grow older. parents too controlling can lead to the following:
Codependency
Disobedience
Delinquency
Symptoms of anxiety
Symptoms of depression
Insecurity on the emotional level
Aggressive actions
Possessing a negative self-perception
Low self-confidence
Emotional dysregulation
Ability to perceive emotions is limited.
What Can Be the Consequences of Controlling Parents?
Even if the adult is living independently, the impact of having controlling parents might persist or worsen as life throws new challenges at them. This can lead to bad relationships, low self-esteem, and a low-stress tolerance, among other things. The following are some of the long-term implications of having domineering parents:
Taking part in high-risk activities
Substance abuse has increased.
Relationships that are unhealthy
Low self-esteem and self-efficacy, as well as a low threshold for stress
Poorly defined borders
Struggles with mental illness
The alteration in family relationships is another issue of having domineering parents. More emerging adults (ages 18-29) are staying at home longer or returning home for several reasons. Adults who stay at home with extremely controlling parents may engage in antisocial or withdrawn behavior as a means of coping with their lack of independence, which can severely impact present and future relationships.
Tips to Deal With Controlling Parents
It takes time, patience, and persistence to learn to deal with overbearing parents. Set reasonable goals for yourself and keep reminding yourself why you’re using coping mechanisms. It is possible to start making positive adjustments for your physical and mental well-being. Here are nine tips to cope with controlling parents:
1. Recognize and Accept the Issue
Recognizing controlling tendencies and learning about overbearing parents can bring relief and enable you to make changes. Accept that you have no power to force your parents to change their ways, but you have control over your emotions, limits, and connection with them. Concentrate on what you have control over.
2. Define Your Boundaries
Boundaries are good because they allow you to emphasize that certain actions will not be tolerated for the benefit of your emotional well-being. They can also be used to teach others what is and is not acceptable.
3. Create a Support Network
Connecting with others who have dealt with similar challenges may be reassuring and might help to relieve feelings of isolation. Having a strong support system of people you can trust might also help you stick to your boundaries.
4. Make Room for It
A helpful coping strategy is taking a break or making space. Going for a stroll, restricting visits or phone calls, or moving into your apartment are all examples of creating space. Space can provide a safe haven for you to process your emotions and ideas apart from your parents. It allows you to think about your aspirations and boundaries.
5. Pick Your Battles
It might be exhausting to face and defend every offense. Find a happy medium between confronting concerns and letting other things drift. This does not necessarily imply that you agree with the crime; rather, it may be a means of self-preservation.
6. Boost Your Emotional Health
Increasing your self-esteem can provide you confidence and comfort that you’re making good decisions. It can also assist you in identifying and defining your genuine self.
7. Keep Disclosures to a Minimum
You are not obligated to tell your parents everything. To prevent unwanted counsel, berating of decisions, or unpleasant criticism, it’s okay to keep your disclosures to a minimum. Limiting disclosures will help you preserve your connection while retaining your chosen level of privacy.
8. Recognize Your Limitations
Work on knowing when you’ve had enough and having an escape route available, similar to setting limits. Allowing yourself to leave or take a step back reinforces the importance of your sentiments and self-worth.
Can Therapy Help People Impacted by Controlling Parents?
The individual, group, and family therapy are all alternatives for dealing with problems caused by overbearing parents. Each provides a secure environment to learn about and understand how to cope with the impacts of controlling parents. Therapy also allows you to learn more about communication skills, mental health diagnoses, coping skills, good boundary establishing, healthy relationship development, and raising your emotional discomfort tolerance.
It might be tough to acknowledge our challenges, but we don’t have to go through them alone or in silence. Reaching out for help is a courageous act. Talking to a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, or a support group can assist with the difficulties that come with having overbearing parents. Remember that your suffering is real and deserving of treatment.
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How to Teach The Pronouns I and You to Preschoolers
Your baby is growing up to a point beyond “mumma” and “dadda”. Now he recognises people and objects well but can't seem to wrap his head around the difference in pronouns. Here is how you can help your child understand the difference and the correct usage of “I”, “you”, “he” and “she”.
Is your child mixing up his me’s and you's? Have you been trying hard to teach him the difference and failing? Don’t fret, this is completely normal and we've got just the solution for you to easily teach your child his pronouns.
1. Getting Started
Language is a challenging milestone for all children and learning grammar is definitely not the easiest thing. Pronouns are confusing to a child because when you speak to him you refer to him as “you”. Your child with his natural tendency to mimic, will also refer to himself as 'you'. To tackle this mimicking, you need to point at your child and say “me” over and over till he mimics. At the same time, it is important to still refer to him as “you” while speaking to him.
2. Difference Between Boy and Girl
When a child understands the difference between “he” and “she” it gets a lot easier to learn pronounces in all their tenses. You can start by asking your child through pictures “Is that a girl or a boy?” You can use family or friends’ pictures or even characters from books. Keep practising this till your child gets the difference. To make it more interesting you can add a points system and a reward for correct answers. ||
3. Using Pronouns in Sentences
Once your child can recognise the difference between a girl and a boy, you can begin to teach him to use pronouns in short phrases. Ask a question like “who wants this chocolate?” and your child will respond with an “I want it.” This may take some practice before you can move on to sentences. You can continue showing the child pictures of people doing activities. You can say things like “he is riding a horse” and then ask your child “Who is riding the horse?”
This entire process takes time so it is important that you do not lose your patience. It is also important to resist the urge to correct your child every time he is incorrectly using pronouns. That may put too much pressure on him. Have faith in your child and be there to tell him the right usage of pronouns. Once he gets the hang of it, you will realise that patience was the key all along. Read more
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How to Overcome Pregnancy Fears
Being pregnant is an unpredictable phase, with many changes affecting your daily life. It is common to see many women feeling apprehensive about regarding their pregnancy. Along with many physical changes, pregnancy also brings with it a number of emotional and mental changes. Here are a few of the most common causes of fears related to pregnancy and tips on overcoming them.
Common Causes of Fears in Pregnancy
The health of the unborn baby is the most common cause of concern for the mother-to-be. This is exaggerated by several triggers which may make it an actual fear. These triggers include:
Back pain
Abdominal pain
Labour pain
Lack of emotional and physical support from people around the mother-to-be
Previous case of a difficult pregnancy
History of miscarriages
Some depictions of pregnancy on TV
Reading about difficult pregnancies on the internet
Women who have overall poor health
Women who do not have a stable income
Determining the root cause of fear is the first step towards combating it.
8 Common Fears During Pregnancy & Ways to Deal With Them
1. Miscarriage
With one in every four pregnancies resulting in a miscarriage, this is a big fear of pregnant women. In fact, this is one of the most common fears in their first trimester when the most amount of physical changes are occurring in the body along with nausea and morning sickness. The best way to deal with this fear is to talk to your doctor and other experts and discuss your concerns in an open manner. You can also do some research but do remember to refer only to authentic sources, whether they are classes or websites.
2. Lack of Nutrition for the Baby
This fear usually stems from morning sickness. The reasoning behind this fear is that if a pregnant woman is not able to keep food down, then the developing baby is not receiving enough nutrition for its proper growth. If the morning sickness is unmanageable then you must get advice from your doctor. However, rest assured that the baby is getting the required levels of nutrition from your reserves and while you might be feeling hungry, the foetus is most likely doing just fine.
3. Premature Baby
A common concern is the fear of early labour and the complications the baby will have to overcome due to being premature. However, only about 1% of all babies are born prematurely. When you go for your regular check-ups, your doctor will check to see if there are any irregularities and will intervene if there an issue is detected. Most babies born prematurely after the 26th week survive, and babies born after the 30th week suffer no serious complications.
4. Labour Pain
This fear has more to do with the mother than the baby. Usually, this fear stems from hearing horror stories from other friends or even on the internet. If you are very concerned about the pain, then you can discuss your options with your doctor. There are many ways in which the doctor and her team can manage your pain during labour and you can explore each option before you fix a plan for your delivery.
5. Stress Harming the Baby
With pregnancy come not just fears but also stress about a whole host of issues. From being able to accommodate a new member financially to knowing how to eat during pregnancy, there are many things to worry about. However, some mothers worry that their stress will harm their baby. While this is perfectly natural, you must also know that it is just as easy to reduce stress levels. Join a meditation class or engage in some prenatal yoga under the recommendation of your doctor and the guidance of an expert practitioner. You will soon find that your stress levels are more manageable.
6. Unhealthy Baby
Most mothers tend to worry about the health of their baby after they are born. They could be born with a defect or a congenital disease that could affect their quality of life. Do remember that most of these conditions can be detected during your routine check-ups, so you will be prepared in case of such a situation. With the strides being made in modern medicine, there is not much the doctors cannot rectify.
7. Hurting the Foetus
Mothers-to-be worry that they might roll over during their sleep, or have a fall, or be involved in any mishap that could potentially harm the baby. However, you must rest assured knowing that the foetus is enveloped in a fluid known as the amniotic fluid. This fluid not just provides nutrition to the foetus but also acts as a shock-absorber too. A regular fall or mishap is unlikely to affect the foetus and your baby will is sure to be fine.
8. Being a Good Mother
In today’s day and age, one of the biggest worries is about not being a good mother to your baby. Women worry about how they will know how to do things like changing nappies or feeding, or what they will do if their baby falls sick. While these fears are very real and natural, you must know that you will not be alone on your journey as a parent. Even if you do not have a partner, you can rely on family and friends to help and give advice when you need it. You also will have your doctor to ask questions related to the health of your child. Use the time you have during pregnancy to read good books on motherhood, not only to learn what to expect but to also allay any fears you might have about not being a good mother.
While being pregnant can be exhilarating and joyful, it can also bring a lot of fears and concerns to the surface. The best way to deal with these fears and keep yourself stress-free is to surround yourself with a support system that has your and your baby’s best interests in mind. A simple way of overcoming early pregnancy fear is to talk to your doctor about them. Your doctor will be able to reassure or prepare you to deal with some of these fears. Do not read up too much on the horror stories especially the ones circulating around the internet. Remember to surround yourself with positivity and your pregnancy is sure to be a beautiful experience.
Also Read: Common Pregnancy Complications to Watch Out For Read more
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Parents Alert! - Is Your Kid Under the Threat of Fatal "Momo Challenge"?
Momo Challenge has recently been in the news for its fatal consequences on kids. A number of incidents have occurred recently, claiming the lives of innocent kids. This online game is causing distress to parents as it poses a mortal threat to children. If you are not aware of Momo Challenge then read this article and prevent your children from falling prey to this life-threatening online game.
What Is Momo Challenge All About? - Things That Parents Must Know
Momo Challenge is a deadly online game in which the participants are asked to perform dangerous challenges and with each level, these challenges get even riskier. The worst part is that this game ends with a suicide dare. This life-threatening game challenges teenagers, kids or any other players to perform violent activities.
Risks of Momo Challenge to Children
Momo challenge has recently gained a lot of popularity on social media and children fall for this trap easily due to their curiosity and vulnerability. Momo Challenge started on Facebook, where the participants were asked to contact an unknown number.
Once the contact has been established with the anonymous person, who commonly goes by the name of “Momo”, directs the user to engage in risky acts. The tasks involved in the momo suicide challenge may be challenging one’s fear or watching a horror movie alone at midnight, and so on. The risks involved keep on increasing as the game progresses. Participants are also asked to film themselves while executing their assigned dares.
Usually, Momo messages participants with violent content, and at times, it also intimidates children through a call. If the user refuses to execute the act, then Momo threatens to visit and curse them. And that’s how it plays with the psyche of innocent children to lure them down the path of fatal consequences.
How Are the Targeted People Chosen?
In an interview published in 'The Times of Oman', clinical psychotherapist Anuya Phule of Hatat Polyclinic said, “The individuals who create these sorts of challenges certainly have a personality disorder. Such individuals have a dark streak, are emotionally unstable, self-centred, and have good manipulation skills. Such individuals grow up in dysfunctional families, are emotionally deprived of genuine love and a healthy connection with parents." She also added, “They target individuals who are vulnerable, so parents need to be alert, especially if their child is shy or introverted”.
Why Does This Trap Work Easily with Kids?
Following reasons explain why children are more prone to fall for this sort of deadly trap:
Kids are still at a developmental phase. It means that their minds are not yet fully-formed, and it’s easy to confuse, manipulate, or intimidate them.
Peer pressure is another factor which makes kids an easy and vulnerable target of this trap. Peer pressure substantially impacts the decisions of kids which often lead them to do crazy things.
Smartphones and the increasing trend of social media is yet another reason why kids fall prey to such activities. The internet also gives a platform to target vulnerable kids by manipulating them and luring them to deadly games such as the Momo Challenge.
Presence and Penetration of This Game in India
Momo challenge has found its way to India as well, claiming lives of 3 kids so far. The first victim who succumbed to this deadly game was reportedly a high school girl of class 10th from Rajasthan. She had allegedly committed suicide on 31st July. The revealing from the police investigation hints her suicide being associated with the game.
The second incident came into light on 20th August 2018. An 18 years old boy named Manish Sarki hailing from north Bengal was found dead in an animal shelter. Police also found, ‘Illuminati’ and ‘Devil’s one eye’ drawn on the wall. The third incident followed the day after this, in the same hill station of north Bengal, where a 26-year-old female had allegedly ended her own life.
How Can Parents Proactively Protect Their Children from This Deadly Game?
As a parent, there are certain precautions you can take to safeguard your children against this deadly game.
1. Teach them to Say 'No'
Teaching your kids to refuse or say 'no' is really crucial. Kids usually go through tremendous peer pressure, and at times, they end up getting themselves in a difficult situation not because they want to, but simply because they weren’t confident enough to say no to their fellow kids. And at times, such peer pressure if not refused, results into fatal consequences. So, make your child understand the difference between good and bad. Tell them that they should say 'no' to the things they seem are dangerous.
2. Be a Good Listener
Is your child complaining of some trouble at school or is he trying to communicate with you, but you are brushing it off as something trivial? You may never know how crucial or fatal a situation might be. It’s for the best for you and your family to pay attention to your child when he tries to tell you something. Listen and take his problems seriously and support him. He will feel protected and cherished and won't indulge in such activities.
3. Be a Friend to Your Children
Listen to your child concerns with patience. Be strict whenever necessary but also be a friend to your child. Be a friend so that he can rely on you and confide in you when worried. This way your child will know whom to count on if he ends up in a messy situation.
4. Educate Your Children About Social Media Threats
Educate your kids about social media, precautions they should take, and threats they should stay steer off. Educate them to not share their private details with strangers.
5. Put a Filter on Their Internet Browsing
Most of the smartphones come with the parental control which allows parents to filter the content of their internet browsing which may pose threat to them.
6. Look Out for the Behavioural Change
Keep a close watch on their behavioural pattern. If you notice them withdrawn from the family or friends, or if you notice any other unusual behaviour then try talking to them and find out the root cause behind it.
How to Know If Your Kid Has Fallen in the Trap of Momo Challenge
Look for these symptoms which may be linked to the momo challenge:
Constant low mood
A sudden explosion of anger
Withdrawal from friends and family
Being unhappy at all times
Lack of enthusiasm
Unusual behaviour
What If Your Child Is Already Playing This Suicidal Game?
This is what you can do if you suspect that your children are falling prey to this vicious suicide game:
1. Lookout for Symptoms
As a first step, look out for signs such as anxiety, fear, withdrawn behaviour and so on. These symptoms indicate that something is wrong with your children, perhaps they might be trapped in this suicide game.
2. Be Open About It
If you sense something wrong then talk to them in a friendly manner, let them be at ease to talk to you and confide in you.
3. Empower them to Go Against It
If they are indeed trapped in this game, then stand by their side. Tell them that ‘Momo’, doesn’t exist and it can’t harm them. Make them believe that you are there to protect them, and encourage them to quit this suicidal game.
4. Talk to them About their Interest
Talk to your kid about their interest, ask them what they like watching, or which character they like. This will help in distracting them from that game and motivate them to follow their interests.
5. Change the Privacy Settings of the Smartphone
If you notice the photo of half-bird and half-human like figure with big round bulging eyeballs with a black circle, then immediately block this contact from the contact list. Nip the problem in the bud before it gets severe.
Tips That Could Help Kids Protect Themselves from Falling Prey to the Momo Suicide Challenge
Following are the tips which can help kids protect themselves from this suicidal game.
Ensure that they don't provide their contact details to strangers.
If they receive a friend request on social media from an unknown person, ask them to ignore it.
Teach them not to open any link sent to them by an unknown person.
Encourage them to firmly say no to their friends or someone they know who is trying to induce them to play this game.
Ask them to change the passwords of both, social media account and email periodically.
Encourage them to talk to you immediately if someone is trying to intimidate them.
Steps Taken By the Government of India and Other Bodies to Protect Children
Here is what the government in India undertook to prevent fatalities that were becoming common due to Momo Challenge.
In the wake of Momo challenge threat, the Indian government released an online warning to educate both, parents and the children about the danger of this game.
In another attempt to protect children, the National Commision for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR) has launched their online app to teach children how to handle a situation when they are contacted by a stranger asking for their photos, or inducing them to do something. This app is called, cyber trivia, which includes multiple choice questions to educate children.
When and Where to Get Help
If your child is being contacted by Momo then it is recommended that you report such incident instantly to your nearest police and to the cyber police. If your child is under traumatic condition then always seek the help of a psychiatric to help your child fight this situation. In the worst case situation, you may also seek help from the suicide prevention helplines.
Other Parental Control Tips for Your Child's Online Safety
You can also try the following tips to safeguard your child from online threats:
Monitor and supervise their online activities.
Secure their devices by installing malware prevention software.
Keep a check on their contact list, if you notice an unknown number then take necessary actions immediately.
Educate your kids about the danger of the cyber threats.
Don’t give smartphones to young kids, instead, you can get them an ordinary phone which is good enough to make calls.
Precaution is the best prevention. Never hesitate to reach out to your kid if you notice something unusual. However, keep in mind that you need to approach them as a friend, so they can openly talk to you. If need be, always report any such incident to the police.
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8 Things Moms do Every Day that they Really Wish You'd Notice
For all that mothers do to keep the family running like a well-oiled machine, it's rare that you get any help or even appreciation. Aside from caring for the kids, there are numerous chores around the house that always fall on you to complete. For an Indian mom, irrespective of whether she's a stay-at-home-mom or a working mother, every day is a series of seemingly unending tasks. These are things that are of importance to the whole family. But even then, they often go unnoticed...
Moms really are the backbone of every family. In between taking care of the kids, they shoulder the housework, manage expenses, and address everyone's problems. What’s more, you don’t hear them complain often. But just because they don't harp on about it doesn't mean they don't welcome appreciation from time to time. Research also agrees: it has been proven that moms have it far more stressful than dads while raising kids. While dads get to enjoy the fun side of parenting, moms have to take on the stressful side and sacrifice on the leisure and togetherness. Not just as parents, but also as wives and daughters-in-law, Indian women continue to have a hard time.
"Unprepared and with very little support system we raise our kids. That’s another reason why Indian moms are always stressed. The amount of unsolicited advice they get from relatives, family and friends- on how to feed the baby, should they be breastfed or formula fed, etc. Besides, Indian women are also always under the pressure of being judged for their actions. For instance - the kid is wearing mismatched clothes, and being packed to school with the horrible lunch crammed in an equally horrible looking box. Oh, why?"
Don't let it come to this, moms. Re-evaluate these things that you do every day but that usually go unnoticed. It is time to start looking after yourself a bit more by getting help with all these tasks. That you stay in good health and stress-free is important for the whole family and getting them to help you is the only way to get this done!
1. You're The One Picking Up After The Kids
It could be folding the kids' clothes or collecting dirty cups and bowls for washing. But, picking up after the children and even after the hubby is something that every mom does. As often as you do it, it's only rarely that you get a 'thank you' from the family, let alone some help. Wouldn't it be great if everyone chipped in? If only!
2. You're The One Washing The Dishes after and In-Between Meals
A big time-consumer especially if you have several children, this has to be one of the worst - it's endless! And no, it's not only washing the dishes after meals but every other hour. A glass here, a plate there - you never knew you had so many utensils in the house! Maybe it's time to set a rule. Strictly no eating in between meals!
3. You're The One Making The Beds for The Entire Household
Easy to do, but why is it that you end up with bed-making duty every day? You don't mind doing it for the little ones, but it's about time that hubby and the older children pull their weight. This could be rule number two!
4. You End Up Feeding Everyone But Skip Meals Yourself
After getting the entire family warm, delicious meals, you are often left too tired to arrange a proper one for yourself. You either eat in a rush, wolfing down your food hurriedly, or just skip your meals altogether. All because you don't have help with the cooking and cutting - something that your husband and even the kids can surely help you with.
5. You're The One Balancing Unrealistic Expectations from The In-Laws
You shouldn't take up a job if you want to. You should be an excellent cook. You should be ready to entertain last-minute guests all the time. And after doing all this, there is not the slightest chance of appreciation because this is "your duty" as an Indian wife and mom. Ladies, if your in-laws put you through such unrealistic expectations, it is not your duty to balance them all. Doing so will only drain you out. Instead, talk to them honestly about these things and arrive at an arrangement that suits everyone.
6. You're The One Responsible for Stressful Parenting Tasks
Potty training, waking up at night to calm or feed your baby, introducing him to solid foods, changing diapers - these aren't tasks that you have sole responsibility for. Parenting is a team effort. Your husband should help you deal with these tasks and cut down your stress. Not only will this be beneficial for you, but it will also help build a stronger bond between daddy and baby!
7. You're The One Chasing The Dust Bunnies Away
Dust is quick to collect but annoying to clean. And, it takes up so much time especially if you have many things in the house. Kiddie playthings, bookshelves, tabletops; it's always your job to clean! Wouldn't it be great to hear someone say "Thank you so much for keeping my room clean!" every once in a while?
8. You're The One Doing The Grocery Shopping Even after a Long Day
You're not the only one who eats, so why is it that you somehow always end up with grocery shopping duty? You make up the shopping list too, which isn't all that easy considering everyone wants to have different things. What you wouldn't give to dump it all on someone else!
Moms seem to be the best jugglers. Many don't complain about all the things they have to do. But getting even a little appreciation goes a long way in making you feel good. It's the little things that count, after all, and every mom deserves thanks and praise. We recommend that if you too are going through such under-appreciation at home and are being taken for granted, put an end to it immediately. Looking after yourself is critical to keep your family happy and in good working order! Read more
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Dr Priyanka Kalra has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 4 months
12 hours ago
Q. mam i am 21 week continuing in my pregnancy but my baby not moving as much
Dr Priyanka Kalra
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist
11 hours ago
A. pl do ultrasound. better to show to specialist always as they get the correct diagnosis. try to avoid self and extra medication that will only complicate this and create more damage to the child
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Mom of a Newborn child
11 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts what is muconium staining?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
11 hours ago
A. due to feetal distance that will be mcconium passing in the uterine cavity itself. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
10 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts What should I buy for my baby however I'm just expecting in 2 month
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
10 hours ago
A. you can get information regarding essentials of the new ones watch any YouTube channel. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
10 hours ago
Q. I got faint line all my pregnancy test and I missed my periods for 10 days but USG and TVs test confirm there is no pregnancy is there any chance that it is very early stage that's why it is not visible???? or TVs test is the last thing that can tell that really there is no pregnancy
Read moreRashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
9 hours ago
A. I think it would be advisable for you to get an ultrasound done with your doctor that’s going to give you a clarity because if there is a pregnancy it would be visible at least at least that sack is visible if it’s a regular pregnancy so it would be advisable to have a test with your doctor
Dr. Minal Acharya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. mere twins baby girl and boyhai one month 8 days old kya mai ghutti de sakte hun ya gripe water de sakte hun aur kab se start kar sakte hun
Dr. Minal Acharya
Nutritionist
6 hours ago
A. dear Mum, you should not give any sort of gripe water or ghutti to your baby. these are unhealthy and dangerous and can cause infection to your baby. so, these should be completely avoided.
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
5 hours ago
Q. I am currently 32 week pregnant.I recently had growth scan.mu baby is in cephalic presentation. Does this change as I approach my due date. Also my EDD is July 25 and EDC is July 2. what is my expected due date. Also what is EDC?
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
5 hours ago
A. edc is expected date of delivery only.
that is 40 weeks
You will get more information for your query with your family doctor. You may meet your dr in person for proper guidance .
It is important to remain in contact with your doctor.
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