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7 Ways Your Husband Irritates You After You Have a Baby Without Even Meaning To!
During and after pregnancy, a woman's body goes through several changes. Weight gain, morning sickness, weird movements in the tummy, cranky mood swings and fluctuating hormones - everything is almost all over the place. This is an experience of its own kind, which only women are blessed to experience. However, after the baby comes into this world, several things change - your relationship with your husband for instance.
You might not realise but your husband's actions which at one point you perhaps found flattering, might just start to get on your nerves. He might be the loveliest and the most supportive partner you could find; however, there will be little things you simply will not be able to overlook. And the most ironical part is that your husband may have no intentions of irritating you at all!
7 Things Husbands do to Irritate you after the Little one arrives
Here are 7 of those things about your husband that may irritate you after your bub arrives in your life!
1. Not Much Seems To Have Changed In His Life
With pregnancy come tons of changes. You give up things you like and adapt to things you aren't particularly fond of. 'Can I eat this, or will it be harmful for my baby' is the question you always end up asking yourself before eating anything. You might have had to cut down on those 4 mugs of black coffee, but that doesn't seem to be the case with your husband. He still gets to drink what he wants and eat what he wishes to! Even after the baby arrives, there are restrictions you may need to abide by but he doesn't. Not much has changed for him, has it?
2. His Body Doesn't Bear The Consequences of Pregnancy
Let's face it, perhaps the only physical involvement your partner has during your pregnancy is when you both had to make the baby! Post that it’s a woman's body that has to undergo the morning sickness and bloating and labour pain. However, this doesn't just last for 9 months. Post childbirth too, you may have to deal with bleeding, soreness, stitches and leakage. But your husband's body remains completely unaffected by this whole experience. It isn't his fault, but you just sometimes wish he would understand and feel what's it like, isn't it?
3. He Still Thinks Things Are Just The Same As Before
'Honey, what's for dinner' is the question you completely despise now! 24 hours in a day isn't enough for you to complete a day's task and you probably have not even had the time to shower before evening, but for your husband it was just a normal day at work and now he simply looks forward to coming home to the food cooked by you. You might have had to take a break from work to look after the baby and manage schedules and your days are just not the same. However, some husbands tend to be completely oblivious to that fact. And the only 'me' time you get is when you lie down on your bed at night. All that you might want to do is crash, but your hubby might have different plans. Extremely irritating, right?
4. His Work Is Noticed By All And Yours Isn't
You know what they say about a mother's job being a thankless one? Guess what, you are living the saying. They don't call a mom supermom for no reason. From changing, bathing and feeding your baby to cleaning cooking and shopping - you manage to do it all. But when it comes to recognition, your husband takes the cake. You may have left your 6 figure paying job to look after the home and baby, but sadly, there is no one to take notice or appreciate your efforts. On the other hand, for your husband, promotions and recognition come hand in hand. Also, most of the times when he comes home, your hard work of keeping the place together in one place (quite literally) simply goes unappreciated by him. It could get disheartening and irking!
5. His Contribution To Baby Work Seems Like a Huge Deal
Ever noticed how baby and house chores you do seem completely normal, but the moment your husband does them, it seems like he has conquered a milestone? For example, if at a party your husband decides to change your baby's nappies instead of you, people around would completely be in awe and applauding his efforts, but isn't parenting team work anyway? A statement like 'you are so lucky to have a husband like that' should make you feel wonderful but ends up irritating you. No one will tell him how lucky he is to have a wife who sacrifices her sleep, gets up multiple times in the night to change the baby's nappy and literally works like a machine.
6. He Is Usually Present For Your Baby's Highlight Moments
Almost every mother would vouch for the fact that husbands tend to experience the best of their baby's moments and enjoy it to the fullest, while moms get to experience it ALL. Because your hubby is unable to spend less time at home, he actually gets to enjoy his time with the baby better. He will be involved in playing, evening strolls and cute little nothings. But he doesn't get to experience the constant pooping and nappy changing sessions and other related exhausting tasks. Once again, probably not his fault, but you do envy him.
7. He Gets To Enjoy Sleep While Insomnia Becomes Your Buddy
As trivial as this may sound, it is absolutely true. After a baby, it's quite likely that you will forget what a peaceful night or a lazy Sunday morning actually feels like. When you get up in the middle of the night hearing the cry of your baby and find your hubby snoring next to you, it simply makes your blood boil. Even if he offers to help, it doesn't take away the lack of sleep you've been experiencing for weeks and months.
All these emotions might seem extremely negative but almost all moms do experience them. And it is completely alright to have these bouts of irritation. What isn't okay is to let these emotions take control of you. There is always a flipside to the story, and that is the fact that you will appreciate and cherish the beautiful life you both have created together. And in the end, that's all that matters. Read more
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Intellectual Disability (Mental Retardation) In Children
The World Health Organisation (WHO) has estimated that as many as 10-20% of all children and adolescents have some form of mental disability. Parenting itself is a tough job, and those with children who are intellectually disabled can be in a difficult spot. However, due to the negative stigma attached, most people are unaware that there are different degrees of mental retardation. Discussed below are some of the issues involved and how you can help your child lead a healthy life.
What is Mental Retardation?
This classification is given to children with poor IQ, typically in the range of 70-75 or less. They also have low adaptive skills meaning social skills and a sharp learning curve is virtually non-existent. Mentally disabled children are slower than their peers in acquiring life skills such as speech development or logic.
Types of Mental Retardation in Kids
Mental retardation has been stereotyped by movies and television shows. These have made people believe that a mentally disabled person is someone who is slow and dim-witted, often ridiculed as the village idiot. In reality, this disability is nuanced with different scales of limitation, and there is room for improvement for those afflicted.
Mild Intellectual Disability: More than 85% of kids with the disability fall in this category and have no trouble until shortly before high school. With an IQ of around 55-70, they are sometimes unable to grasp abstract concepts but can by and large function independently.
Moderate Intellectual Disability: Falling under the IQ range of 35-54, they constitute about 10% of the children that are afflicted with mental retardation. These children can be integrated into society as they can pick up speech and essential life skills. However, their academic performance is likely to be dismal and would fare poorly in school. These children can have some amount of autonomy but cannot remain independent for a long duration.
Severe Intellectual Disability: With an IQ of 20-34, these kids are in a minority of 3-4% of the mentally challenged child population. Through extensive training, these kids may be able to learn necessary life skills but would need to live in a sheltered home to avoid stressful situations.
Profound Intellectual Disability: This is the most severe form of disability and is also the rarest, with only 1-2% of mentally challenged children constituting this group. They are severely handicapped and require extensive supervision due to poor life skills. With regular training and setting a routine, they may be able to pick up essential life functions.
Causes of Mental Retardation in Children
Some of the reasons include:
Genetic: Over 30% of mental retardation is attributed to genetics. These children are likely to suffer from problems such as Down Syndrome and fragile X syndrome.
Head Trauma: A severe head injury can cause inflammation in the brain. This can change the mental state of the child and lead to difficulties in memory, attention and reasoning.
Pregnancy-Related Issues: Pregnant women who do recreational drugs, smoke and drink alcohol can severely affect the brain development of the foetus.
Illness: Children suffering from measles can develop encephalitis which causes mental retardation. Infants suffering from congenital hyperthyroidism are also at the risk of poor brain development.
Exposure To Toxic Materials: Elements such as mercury, lead and cadmium are known to be linked with a reduction in intellectual growth.
Mental Retardation Signs and Symptoms in Children
Not every child is the same. The signs and symptoms of psychological retardation deffer with different children. Here are a few:
Difficulty in articulating a point
Learning speech at a slower rate
Misplacing objects
Having trouble remembering things
Poor academic performance
Overall Low Intelligence
Poor performance in IQ tests
Particular attention required to learn simple skills
Have trouble putting on clothes
Behavioural Symptoms
Aggression
Depression
Anxiety
Impulsive
The tendency to inflict injury on self
Suicidal thoughts
Poor interpersonal relationships
Excessive dependency on parents
Unable to respond to situations in a measured manner
Low attention span
Characteristics of Mentally Disabled Kids
Mentally disabled, also known as differently abled kids portray the following characteristics.
Bad Memory: These kids have a short-term memory recall. However, when doing a task repeatedly, they can recall information without displaying any symptoms of mental retardation.
Slow Learning Curve: Their ability to process new information is relatively low when compared to other kids. That does not mean they are incapable of learning. Some educationists are of the view that a slowing down of the instructions can help in better reception of the information.
Attention Deficiency: They are unable to sustain their attention for too long on a single task. A good way of tackling this deficiency is by making them aware of the most crucial aspect of the work and then building their attention from there on.
Disinterest: Due to repeated failures, some children don’t trust their skills, even if they are correct. Over time they lose faith in their abilities and become disinterested in learning.
Independent Living: One of the brighter side children with special needs can be trained in repetitive tasks which they can master over time. This can help them stay independent for a short duration of time and also prepare them for adulthood.
Inability to Restrain Emotions: As children grow older, they can give measured responses when faced with unknown situations. Children with mental disabilities are unable to do this and may respond unpredictably, usually displaying aggression. Once the episode is over, they can sense that they have misbehaved and are capable of feeling like they are a burden.
Social Development: Due to bizarre outbursts and poor language skills, they may be unable to have healthy social interactions.
Application of New Ideas: They are unable to incorporate any newly acquired skills innovatively.
Diagnosis
There a few ways to diagnose mental retardation in kids.
Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale: This test gauges quantitative reasoning, knowledge, fluid reasoning, visual-spatial processing and memory. It is one of the primary tests that identify learning disorders in children.
Kaufman Assessment Battery for Children: This test is used to assess the cognitive development of a child. The types of tests administered are wide-ranging and vary based on the age of the child. This test is not a stand-alone test, meaning that the results of this analysis must be seen in conjunction with other tests.
Bayley Scale of Infant Development: This is a standardised test for infants between 1-42 months of age. Motor, language and cognitive skills are tested. This, in turn, helps to screen out children who are prone to having development problems in the future.
Treatment
There is no medical “cure” for mental retardation. However, there are ways in which you can enrich their lives and help them have a pleasant childhood.
Stem Cell Therapy: This can be beneficial for children who have Down Syndrome. While it cannot eliminate Down Syndrome, it can help repair any damaged cells which help in improving their cognitive abilities.
Acupuncture: Studies have shown that children who given this form of treatment saw a marked increase in IQ tests as well as social skills.
Home Schooling: As the pace of learning is slow, homeschooling is a good option where the child can thrive in a protected environment. If the child is auditory rather than visual, the entire learning experience can be changed based on the child's needs. This flexibility would not be available in schools.
Special Needs Schools: These schools have other children with disabilities studying under the same roof. The classes are conducted at a slower pace, and hence the children can grasp the concepts quickly.
Prevention
Pregnant women should avoid doing drugs, smoking or drinking as it can lead to neural defects in the child.
Children should be immunised against diseases that cause mental disorders such as measles.
Women suffering from hyperthyroidism need to get treated as it can lead to a foetus with neural defects.
Problems Faced by Mentally Retarded Children
Common challenges faced by developmentally disabled children are as follows:
Social Isolation: Perceived as slow, these kids are often ostracised by their peers. All it takes is one rumour, and most kids would start avoiding a mentally disabled child. Not just them, even the ones who try to befriend them are ridiculed.
Bullying: People fear what they can’t understand and hate what they can’t conquer. The inability of children or even adults to understand the needs of a mentally disabled child can breed hatred, fear and contempt. Many kids with disabilities must face ridicule from their peers and are often called unflattering names.
Low Self Esteem: Consistently poor academic performance can have a negative impact on their psyche. Complex topics might be difficult to grasp for any child. However, poor academic performance in natural subjects where their peers outclass them may make them have a low opinion of themselves.
Loneliness: Due to social isolation and bullying, many children with mental disabilities suffer from loneliness.
Medical Problems: Children that suffer from profound mental retardation are likely to have other health complications as well. These could include reduced vision, hearing issues, poor motor function, etc.
Parenting Tips to Help in Raising a Child with an Intellectual Disability
Parents can play a significant role in treating and raising a child with an intellectual disability. Here are a few tips to help build a differently-abled child:
Encourage Independence: Children with mental disabilities have a slow learning curve. A parent telling their child that he cannot do anything will make him even more dependent and foster low self-esteem. One method to make kids independent is by breaking down complex tasks/ideas into simple ones.
Follow Up On Academic Progress: Be active at parent-teacher meetings to find out what are the strengths and weaknesses of your child. Parent-teacher conferences can be an excellent forum where you can keep track of your child’s development. It can also be a place where a healthy exchange of ideas can take place.
Socialise: Many parents limit their child's interactions with others in a bid to protect them. Then there are others who wish to avoid unpleasant situations. While these are legitimate reasons, making a child socially active would foster a sense of normalcy.
Network: Taking care of a child with disabilities is difficult for parents. Often there are instances when parents go into depression or bickering takes place between the couple. It can be helpful to know that there are other parents out there who are going through the same ordeal. Networking helps parents a lot, as it not just acts as a support group but also becomes a place where parents can share their experiences and ideas to come up with new ways of raising kids with disabilities.
Educate Themselves: Raising a mentally challenged child may be difficult, and counselling sessions with experts can help in overcoming these difficulties. Even if you are unable to meet an expert, buy books such as:
When your Child has Disabilities by M.L. Batshaw
A Parent’s and Teacher’s Guide to the Special Needs Child by Darrell M. Parker
Routine: Develop a habit that can be followed by your kid as it can help them feel secure. School can be stressful, and a safe environment at home with a predictable routine can help them feel secure.
Praise and Reward: Due to the challenges they face every day, low self-esteem issues are typical, and they need constant appreciation and affection to overcome those. Encouragement through a reward system can help boost their self-confidence. However, avoid any negative punishments as it is likely to demotivate them.
Behaviour Management: Children with mental disabilities may find it difficult to cope with certain situations. In such cases, it is essential that they don't dwell on their inability to comprehend those things. Diverting their mind would be a good idea in such situations. Something as simple as giving them headphones and making them listen to music would help in diverting their mind.
Many children who have intellectual challenges have in time, learned to overcome their disability and live healthy lives. Even the most difficult cases, children have responded well to proper treatment with many showing a semblance of normalcy.
Also Read: How to Deal with Dizziness in Children
Read more
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How Not to Let Divorce Spoil your Baby's Birthday Party
Increasing stress and growing expectations have resulted in many a marriage crumbling. However, even if you're going through a divorce or have already separated, don't let it spoil your child's birthday celebrations. And just how do you handle birthday parties post divorce?
For every child, birthdays happen to be the most important day of the year. It’s vital that you make it a point that your darling feels special on this day, no matter what the circumstances. Even if you and your husband are divorced, it’s no reason to deprive your child of birthday fun.
Tips to Celebrate Baby's Birthday After Divorce
It’s true that post divorce, you and your ex drift apart and move on. However, just think about this from your baby's point of view. For him, you both remain his parents, no matter what the equation is. So, when you think of celebrating his birthday, it’s important to put aside your differences and plan a special party for your little one. Organise the do at a park to provide a refreshing and invigorating environment. Make it a point to take all decisions like the menu, guest list, decorations and return gifts together. Offer to share the cost of the party so that there are no ego clashes on the special day.
1. Individual Celebrations Can Be Double The Fun
If you and your ex parted on an ugly note and are not on cordial terms, celebrating your baby's birthday together after divorce won’t be easy. What’s more, you could even end up in a mud-slinging match that will only upset your baby. A better idea would be that both parents throw separate parties. Of course, it goes without saying that one of you will have to compromise on the date and plan the party for another day. However, your baby will get double the treat and will be made to feel extra special with two cakes and two sets of presents!
2. Go Solo
What if your husband doesn't want to have to do with anything? Go the solo route and take the help of friends and family. They’ll be glad to lend a hand and you’ll all have a great time. Put up streamers, ribbons and balloons. Bake or order mini cakes and make a specially decorated one for your baby.
3. No Gifting Competition
Before divorce, you and your husband probably gave your baby one or two large gifts. Post-divorce, it’s only natural that both of you will present your darling with separate gifts. Don't turn it into a competition and try to one up each other by getting costlier and bigger presents. Instead, focus on getting stuff that your baby will benefit from, even if it turns out to be small and inexpensive.
Divorce is as painful for children as it is for parents. Even if you and your spouse decide to go your separate ways, always make it a point to make your child feel loved. Celebrate birthdays and ensure that your baby has fun. The twinkle in his eyes and the smile on his face will be the best return gift you could ever ask for! Read more
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How Toddlers Learn Words
There are children who start talking early, and others who start late. You may find some kids gibbering at first, and there are others who start talking clearly. What transpires as your child starts his lifelong relationship with words? This article talks about the ways in which children can learn new words and gain mastery over a language.
Children between ages 15-24 months experience what is known a ‘word spurt’. Some children can speak words after hearing them only once. By the time kids reach their second birthday, they will be typically using around 300 words, and by the time they turn 2.5 years, their vocabulary count can double to around 600. You may wonder how children learn words, and how can you use this science to make them learn more words?
The Science of Learning New Words
Children are naturally inclined to understand language, even before they are born. Speech can be heard in the womb clearly enough to know who is speaking. At the time of birth, they prefer their mother’s voice and the language of their parents as they are used to hearing it. Children aged 18-24 months realise the ‘naming insight’: They understand that words are the names for objects, and every object has a name. Children learn language very quickly, and between the age of 2 and 6 they learn an average of 10 new words every day.
At the same time one must remember no two children are alike. While one might utter his first word at 10 months, there are other children who won’t say a word till they are 20 months and older.
Common advice given to new parents is that they need to keep speaking to their babies to help their vocabulary grow. Language develops depending on the style of speech and the context in which the speech has been used. So talking ‘parentese’ or the high pitched exaggerated manner in which parents talk to their children can actually work in improving vocabulary in children.
Benefits of Teaching New Words
Children who have a high grasp of words are able to think deeper, express themselves better, and learn new things. They are more successful as readers and tend to read books higher than their levels in school. When we boost a child’s language and literacy experiences early on, you can avoid difficulties later in their life.
Parenting Tips to Improve Vocabulary
Controlling your child’s word spurt is not in your hands, though parents and care-givers are the key players in improving your child’s vocabulary. Here are some tips to improve your child’s vocabulary:
1. Talk to your child
Point out objects around you and explain their importance to your child. Even though he doesn’t respond, he is listening and storing.
2. Words might not sound quite right at first
Don’t be in a hurry to correct them. Repeat the correct word after they say it over a period of time.
3. Add details to conversation and use rich vocabulary
If he is holding a block that is blue, say yes, it is a blue block. Remember, they are listening and learning.
4. Reading is a good way to improve vocabulary
Read to your baby regularly. Apart from giving a guarantee that your child learns new words, it will allow your child to associate reading with learning and comfort as he comes closer to you.
5. Use ‘parentese’
Exaggerate and use ‘singsong’ ways while talking to younger children.
6. Writing and drawing
It can also help to improve a child’s understanding of objects and association.
7. Gestures
A combination of gestures with words will make it easy for children to grasp certain words and phrases.
8. Rewards
Celebrate when your kid learns a new word or two. It goes a long way in encouraging the child.
Parental Concerns
Delays in communication are normal. When delays are coupled with developmental disorders, it could be a sign of hearing impairment, autism and intellectual disability. This is where you need to notice and take the advice of a doctor.
Appropriate use of language by adults around the child will have a lifelong impact on them. Language allows children to be nurtured, guided and modelled. Read more
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Mom of a Newborn child
13 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts what is muconium staining?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
13 hours ago
A. due to feetal distance that will be mcconium passing in the uterine cavity itself. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
13 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts What should I buy for my baby however I'm just expecting in 2 month
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
12 hours ago
A. you can get information regarding essentials of the new ones watch any YouTube channel. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
12 hours ago
Q. I got faint line all my pregnancy test and I missed my periods for 10 days but USG and TVs test confirm there is no pregnancy is there any chance that it is very early stage that's why it is not visible???? or TVs test is the last thing that can tell that really there is no pregnancy
Read moreRashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
12 hours ago
A. I think it would be advisable for you to get an ultrasound done with your doctor that’s going to give you a clarity because if there is a pregnancy it would be visible at least at least that sack is visible if it’s a regular pregnancy so it would be advisable to have a test with your doctor
Dr. Minal Acharya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
8 hours ago
Q. mere twins baby girl and boyhai one month 8 days old kya mai ghutti de sakte hun ya gripe water de sakte hun aur kab se start kar sakte hun
Dr. Minal Acharya
Nutritionist
8 hours ago
A. dear Mum, you should not give any sort of gripe water or ghutti to your baby. these are unhealthy and dangerous and can cause infection to your baby. so, these should be completely avoided.
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
7 hours ago
Q. I am currently 32 week pregnant.I recently had growth scan.mu baby is in cephalic presentation. Does this change as I approach my due date. Also my EDD is July 25 and EDC is July 2. what is my expected due date. Also what is EDC?
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
7 hours ago
A. edc is expected date of delivery only.
that is 40 weeks
You will get more information for your query with your family doctor. You may meet your dr in person for proper guidance .
It is important to remain in contact with your doctor.
Abhaya Rajput has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
7 hours ago
Q. why I am getting dizziness in my pregnancy
I am going with 3rd month of my pregnancy it's a very strong dizziness I feel at times means every day .....no other symptoms of pregnancy .Please help with elaboration .All okay means isn't part of this journey.
Read moreAbhaya Rajput
Mom of a 14 yr 4 m old boy
20 mins ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much. But it is really very difficult to say anything without proper examination. It is advisable to get yourself evaluated by a gynaecologist and follow doctors advise properly. You can also book online doctor’s appointment on FirstCry where the doctor can guide you properly.
Thanks and take care
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