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Impact of Parents Fighting in Front of Children
Fighting and arguing is a part and parcel of married life - there's no way around it! From parenting styles to division of work at home, a couple will most likely fight about all things big and small. But these fights can turn nasty with no warning - and having a child witness it is dangerous as it can impact him in negative ways. Read on to understand more.
Negative Effects of Parents Fighting in Front of Kids
Every couple has disagreements, which, when peacefully resolved are healthy. However, if these squabbles turn into big fights, they can have a nasty impact on children. So how do parent fights affect a child? Listed below are some of the negative effects.
1. Aggression
The effects of parents fighting in front of children can be disastrous. On seeing their parents fighting and arguing, children start to believe that this is the way to solve problems. Thus, they try to resolve their issues in the same way with everyone. This can result in dysfunctional and failed relationships.
2. Emotional Distress
Parents physically fighting in front of the child can cause immense emotional distress. Witnessing regular fights between parents can trigger negative emotions among children. This leads to insecurity in them. As a result of this insecurity, children may suffer from several psychological problems like anxiety and depression.
3. Failure in Relationships
Children emulate what they see their parents doing. If you and your spouse are constantly fighting, your child will most likely grow up learning the same thing. As a result, your child's relationship with his partner may suffer in adulthood. It may even lead to your child feeling the need to avoid relationships from the fear of getting hurt.
4. Health Problems
Seeing their parents fight regularly may make children feel anxious, depressed, and helpless. As a result, such children may either stop eating or over-eat. They could suffer from headaches or stomach aches. They may even have trouble falling asleep at night. Fighting between parents can give rise to behavioural issues in children.
5. Low Self-Esteem
Mixed feelings of shame, guilt, unworthiness, and helplessness caused due to fighting can take a toll on the child's mental health. As a result, the child's self-esteem suffers, and he may find it hard to maintain a good self-image in both professional and personal fronts.
6. Unable to Concentrate on Studies
The constant fights between parents can keep the child's mind pre-occupied. He may keep on thinking about it and may be unable to concentrate on anything else.
Signs Parents Arguments Are Affecting the Child
Parents arguing in the presence of their child can prove to be detrimental to the overall well-being and development of the child. Listed below are few of the signs which indicate that a child is affected by his parents fighting:
The child starts crying the minute he sees his parents arguing.
On seeing his parents fighting, the child becomes absolutely quiet.
The child looks and talks like he is insecure about something.
The child looks scared when he sees his parents shout and yell at each other.
The child tends to fight with his peers and not get along with other kids.
The child does not mingle much with other kids and is mostly termed anti-social.
The child shows signs of abnormal behaviour.
The child tends to blame himself when his parents start to argue and fight.
The child shows signs of depression.
The child does poorly in school and in co-curricular activities.
The child may prefer being away from his parents.
The child may complain of headaches, stomach aches or some other health issue to divert the parents' attention from fighting.
Things to Keep in Mind While Fighting in Front of Your Child
It is obvious that a couple will have their share of arguments. However, these fights should not go so far that they frighten your children. Read on to understand the things to keep in mind while fighting in front of your child.
Both you and your spouse should refrain from calling each other names. Avoid screaming at each other or threatening each other, as that can have a negative impact on your child. This 'out of control' rage in you or your spouse can set a bad example for the children and impact their views on relationships and marriage.
It's inevitable that you will disagree with your spouse about certain rules around parenting, but make sure not to bring it up when your children are around.
Try to resolve your arguments when they first start to arise so as to prevent them from turning into major issues.
Avoid dragging the argument for a long time. Instead, resolve it with maturity and do so in front of your children. This way, both you and your spouse can have closure and your kids will learn from experience that disagreements should be solved maturely and that a solution can be attained.
Make sure never to involve the child in your arguments. If the child is made to feel that he has to choose either parent or take sides, he might feel torn and confused and may end up blaming himself for the conclusion of the fight.
After an argument with your spouse, assure your children that you and your spouse still love each other and respect each other and that the children are not to be blamed for the fight. Maks them understand that parents can have arguments sometimes.
Try to not lose your temper in front of your child, and apologise when you do. This will teach him that losing one's temper is not the answer to solving a conflict.
Avoid talking ill about a person in front of your child during a heated exchange. Refrain from using bad language to address someone. Instead, use a calm tone and talk out your problems.
Conflicts and disagreements are part of married life. It is completely understandable that a couple can have disagreements, but the important thing is to work them out amicably and come out with constructive solutions. Parents must understand how their fighting can affect their children's well-being, world-views and personality; this is why they must ensure that all fighting and arguing in front of children is done in a manner that does not affect them adversely.
Resources and References: Developmental Science
Also Read:
Child Psychology - Tips To Understand Your Child Better
Conduct Disorder In Children - Causes, Symptoms & Treatment Read more
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Important Beach Safety Tips for Kids
Summertime generally means hitting the beach for most families. Beaches are a great place to unwind. However, they can also be dangerous, especially if you have young kids who you have taken along. Ensuring the safety of your little ones is of utmost importance at a beach.
A lot of families wonder, “Is it safe to go to the beach with little kids?” It is safe to head out to a beach and unwind with your little ones as long as you follow the safety precautions. Here, we give you all the water safety rules at the beach to keep your family safe this summer.
Beach Safety Rules to Keep in Mind for Children
To keep yourself as well as your children out of danger while ensuring that they still have plenty of fun, follow these rules:
1. Brush-up on swimming skills
Do you wonder, “is swimming at the beach safe?” Remember that swimming in an ocean or a sea is much different from swimming in a pool. It is a fact that swimming in an ocean or sea requires much more physical effort and skill than swimming in a pool. Also, you must remember that the water in a sea is dark and includes living creatures with absolutely no concrete sides or ladders to hold on to. For this reason, children may struggle to swim in an ocean and may also be intimidated by the waves pushing them around while they cannot see the bottom. If you are taking your child to the beach for the first time, we recommend that you prepare your child for these differences beforehand, and it might be helpful for your child to get some survival swimming practice.
2. Purchase life jackets
We recommend purchasing life jackets if you plan to take toddlers to the beach. Remember that it just takes a second to get distracted, and your child may wander into the water. Also, having a life jacket on your little one provides you with that extra protection and peace of mind that your child won’t drown in the water easily. However, we recommend that you try the life jacket on your child and test it in a pool before using it on a beach.
3. Check the water conditions beforehand
Almost all swimming beaches have beach flags and lifeguards, which indicate the weather conditions. If these indicate a rough sea and you witness high currents, it is best to avoid the beach that day. Also, keep the children out of the water if the current brings jellyfish inland. If there is a beach safety rope available, inform your children about it before going into the water.
4. Ensure there is a lifeguard around
A lifeguard must be close to where your children are playing in the water. Always swim near a lifeguard on duty.
5. Ensure the children do not touch the marine life
It is highly recommended that your children understand that they should not approach or touch the marine life around even if they feel it needs help. Instead, you can request help from a local lifeguard or the beach patrol. An injured whale, a beached seal, or a jellyfish washed up on shore can be dangerous.
6. Educate your children on the ocean currents
There are two kinds of currents one may experience at a beach. These are the rip currents and the longshore currents. Children need to stay safe from the longshore currents as these are the currents that push one towards the beach with each wave.
7. Set-up boundaries
As longshore currents can slowly push the kids down the beach, we suggest that you set some limits or boundaries for the kids while at the beach. For example, you can ask your kids to be between two points while playing at the beach. You can probably select a specific distance between you and the lifeguard chair. This makes it easier for children to play without the danger of losing sight of the family as they know exactly where to look for you.
8. Always use the buddy system
It is never a good idea to let your kids swim alone. Children must be encouraged to swim with a buddy. For younger children, you are their buddy. You can decide and take turns with your partner or group of friends to swim with your child or children. This makes stimming at the beach a lot safer.
9. Always be alert
It may be extremely tempting to take a nap as you unwind on the beach. However, if you have taken children with you, you must always be alert and keep an eye on them even if you feel that they are old enough (tweens/teens). Little ones should always be within your reach. If you have gone to the beach as a family, then take turns to watch the kids. You can never completely rely on the lifeguards to keep an eye on your kids.
10. Sunscreen and hydration
Always ensure that you and your children put on an ample amount of sunscreen to protect the skin. Choose a broad-spectrum sunscreen that covers the skin entirely. You also need to make sure that you and your family stay hydrated throughout the day. Make sure to carry a cooler filled with water and keep drinking water throughout the day.
The beach can be a great place to unwind and relax as a family. Just make sure to follow these precautionary steps to keep danger away.
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Quadruple Marker Test during Pregnancy
Pregnancy brings many changes in life. The first visible change is to the body, but the baby’s growth is a most important change taking place invisibly inside the body. Medical tests and examinations ensure regular check to track the healthy growth of a baby but several other things need to be considered as well. Procedures like quadruple marker test are optional, but one can choose to get them done based on the risk factor that the physician suggests. Here is some relevant information on the test to help you get a clear understanding of it.
What Quad Screen Test Is & Why It is Done
Quadruple screening - also referred to as quadruple marker test, multiple marker screening, AFP plus, AFP maternal, MSAFP, and 4-marker screen - is a blood test done to assess the risk to the baby from certain health problems. The test screens chromosomal abnormalities like Down syndrome, trisomy 18, and neural tube defects such as spina bifida. Quadruple screening is done in the second trimester, that is, between 15 to 20 weeks of pregnancy, ideally after the first trimester screening test. This is called integrated or sequential screening when there are tests conducted every trimester. In case one misses the screening in the first trimester, the quadruple screening can be conducted in the second trimester too.
The screening test aims to determine genetic diseases and birth defects in the baby. Based on the results, the doctor can even suggest invasive diagnostic tests like amniocentesis (amniotic fluid test) to further assess the baby’s condition. The quadruple screening test can only highlight the risk of the baby having a birth defect, and poses no health hazard to the mother and baby. On the other hand, tests like amniocentesis can tell whether the baby has a certain birth defect, but at the same time, carry a risk of miscarriage while conducting the test.
Who Should You Go to for a Quad Screen Test?
You should consult your healthcare physician for guidance on conducting the quad screen test. Based on the risk to the mother and baby, the doctor recommends the screening. One may consult a genetic counsellor or a maternal-foetal medicine physician for more information
Many women go for screening first and then opt for invasive tests whereas others who are at higher risk of chromosomal threats directly opt for diagnostic tests which carry a certain amount of risk of miscarriage. Regardless, of what others say or have done in the past, it is the guidance and words of experienced healthcare practitioners that matters.
What Substances Are Measured in the Quadruple Marker Test?
The quad test includes the analysis of a blood sample to measure levels of four substances in the blood. Namely:
Alpha-fetoprotein (AFP): This is a protein made by the baby and indicates the possibility of the baby having spina bifida and anencephaly
Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG): A hormone made by the placenta which is essential to maintain early pregnancy
Unconjugated estriol: A hormone produced by the placenta and the baby, low levels of which may indicate the possibility of Down’s syndrome or Edward’s syndrome(Trisomy 18).
Inhibin A: A hormone produced by the placenta which indicates the possibility of the baby having Down’s Syndrome.
When is the Quad Screen Test Done in Pregnancy?
The test is mostly conducted in the second trimester sometime between 15th to 20th week of pregnancy, but according to The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, women of all ages should be offered first and second-trimester screening and diagnostic tests. Although all pregnant women are recommended the test, some women should consider it seriously. These include:
Women who are over 35 years old
Women who have a family history of birth defects
Women whose previous child has been born with a birth defect
Women who have type 1 diabetes
The procedure is not complicated. The level of pain is similar to that of a normal blood test. The consulting physician can refer to a diagnostic centre or conduct the test within the hospital if facilities are available. The only complication that might arise from the blood test is bruising or fainting if you are someone who is has a phobia of blood. Make sure you identify a trustworthy lab to ensure accurate test results.
How is the Quad Screen Done?
The blood is drawn from the mother and this takes about 5 to 10 minutes. The test samples are then sent to a laboratory for further testing, and the results are ready after a few days. The quad blood test assesses the levels of four substances in the blood, namely, AFP, HCG, Estriol and Inhibin A. However the screening test does not only look for results from the blood test. Numerous factors are compared, and then the risk of the baby having an abnormality is assessed. These factors include age, ethnicity, blood test results and many more.
NOTE: It should be remembered that these tests do not diagnose the problem but only indicate the potential risk that signals further testing.
How are the Results Computed?
The results of the blood test are plugged into a formula, along with the baby’s gestational age and the age of the mother. The mother’s age plays a crucial role, as the risk of having defects like Down syndrome increases with the maternal age. For example, the chances of the baby having Down syndrome are 1 to 1200 at the age of 25 years but the risk increases to about 1 to 100 at age 40.
For those who opt for a sequential or integrated quad blood test, the results will be more comprehensive, as the test results for both the trimesters will be combined.
How are Results of the Test Interpreted?
One needs to consult a medical practitioner or genetic counsellor to evaluate the medical tests and interpret the results of quadruple marker test during pregnancy. The report consists of a risk assessment ratio for Down’s syndrome, trisomy 18 and neural tube defects. For example, the result will be presented in a ratio like the following:
Chances of Down syndrome are 1 to 30 or 1 to 1000
The meaning of 1 to 30 is that one among 30 women with these results one may have a baby with Down’s syndrome. 1 to 1000 means that one among thousand women with these results will have a baby with Down’s syndrome. Thus, the higher the number, the lower the chances of risk to the child.
It should also be remembered that the test only indicates risk and not the actual defect. Higher results do not mean that the baby does not have any defect; on the other hand, a lower ratio also does not mean that the baby will be born with a defect. These are just risk indication tests.
1. What Does it Mean if the Results Are Normal?
Normal test results of quadruple marker test during pregnancy indicate that the baby is healthy and the pregnancy has fewer complications. However, there is no guarantee that these prenatal tests can provide accurate information regarding complications and the baby’s health. Around 98% of all screening tests result in a normal report. It definitely is an assurance that helps you remain stress-free during your pregnancy knowing that the baby is safe.
2. What Does it Mean if the Results Are Abnormal?
Abnormal test results are no cause for panic as they do not mean that the baby has a birth defect. The result can be abnormal, even as a result of the incorrect gestational age of the baby. In this case, the child being younger or older than expected will give abnormal results. The next step after receiving abnormal result is to have an ultrasound to check the baby’s age. Counselling and further tests may be required to identify the problem if any. There are tests that can be conducted to eliminate the risk of a positive quad screen test for Down’s syndrome. Amniocentesis is one of the tests performed and works by checking the AFP level in the amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. It is good to ask questions to the healthcare practitioner so that you can take all the right steps in order to ensure that the baby is safe. If there are even slightest chances of doubts in your mind, it is advisable to get them clarified by your doctor.
Risks Involved in a Quad Test
Apart from the discomfort of drawing blood, there are no other risks involved in the quad test. The doctor will draw a sample of the blood through the needle and send it to the laboratory for analysis. There are no risks that could harm you or the baby.
How Accurate is the Quad Screen Test?
The quadruple marker test during pregnancy only indicates the level of risk. Also, it does not pick up all cases of Down syndrome, trisomy 18 and neural defect when the baby might be actually affected. Indicating the low level of risk when the baby has a defect is called a false negative result. Whereas, an indication of high risk when the baby is not affected is called false positive report. However, consulting the physician is mandatory.
70 percent cases of trisomy 18 and 81 percent cases of Down syndrome are generally detected by the screening. This means that when tested, there is 81 percent chance of detecting and giving accurate results if the baby is suspected of having Down’s syndrome. Also, it should be kept in mind that the screening has a 5 percent false positive rate. Which means it suggests that there is a problem when no problem exists.
Based on the test results the doctor might recommend further testing to ascertain further evaluation. These may include:
Non-invasive ultrasounds
Amniocentesis
CVS testing – Chorionic Villus Sampling
Other extensive DNA testing
There are several factors that can influence the quad test results such as multiple pregnancies, effect of in vitro fertilisation, diabetes, and chemical interference. Thus, consulting a genetic counsellor is a wise move to get a clear understanding of the report and prepare for further steps.
What If the Screen Results Indicate That the Baby is at Risk?
The genetic counsellor or maternal-foetal medicine specialist can help in understanding the result and deciding on the further tests. If you decide to have an ultrasound, it will contain a detailed report on the baby’s gestational age, multiple pregnancies and the spinal cord. In case of any anomaly, the screening can be redone.
In case the baby is detected with spina bifida and the mother decides to continue the pregnancy, the medical team will monitor the baby’s condition and will be prepared to do surgery after birth. In cases of a high risk of Down’s syndrome or trisomy 18, the ultrasound will check for several markers that may give more information on the baby’s condition. If one of the markers is found, the possibility of a genetic abnormality in the baby is more.
Before considering any action based on the prenatal test, make sure that an experienced physician or genetic counsellor has evaluated the results. Anything to do with baby’s health is a point of worry but an expecting mother should keep herself free of any worry that can further affect the child’s health. Getting a clear picture of these results is important, and taking immediate steps will ensure a safe and healthy pregnancy.
Also Read: Triple Marker Test during Pregnancy Read more
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This or That, Who Decides What is Right for Your Baby?
Breastfeed or formula, new clothes or used, home school or preschool, cerelax or organic food, diapers or potty train!!
I am pretty much sure every single mother goes through these questions and even many more such, and at some point has lowered her self esteem thinking she is a bad mom. Well, I have!!
But, there is no such thing as right or wrong. Who decides what is right or wrong? The articles we read, or a word we heard from another person? Did your doctor ever say if your breast milk is not enough do not give formula and starve the baby? Does a surrogate baby not have formula or lets say a new baby who lost his mom; should he starve? Or will you never give any processed food to your baby? Will he never eat a biscuit? If a working mom makes her life easy and gives her baby cerelac she is not a bad mom!! I recently read a lot of debate about not giving colic drops or medicines or gripe water, and honestly no one gives it for fun, and not that you are putting your baby on a lifetime medication, its a phase where your baby is growing and a lot of development is happening, it take a while to adjust and may be in pain while another might not!
There has been no mother, who would do wrong to her baby, not a first timer not a mother of four not even a mother of a 30year old. So, do what is right, follow your baby; every baby is different and ao is every mother. I especially choose to write on this topic because as I read many blogs I feel insecure and guilty at times ( just for a minute) that oh I gave formula, oh I gave cerelac, oh no my baby is still not potty trained, but when I look back I do realise that if I hadn’t given formula my baby would have been hungry! I often worry that my baby is still on diapers, but I don't want to pressurise him, I lose my temper often, I make mistakes but my baby doesn’t judge me, so why should I?
I am happiest when my baby is happy, he plays in the mud and gets dirty, splashes all the puddles on the pathway, draws on the wall, spills food on the floor, he even refuses to learn a lot of things, but again didn’t I do the same when I was a kid? Just because we live in a social media world where we see the brighter side of a mom life does mean I have to do the same.
So moms, you are the best mother to your child and only you know what is good. Please do not follow another mother because she has so and so followers or because she writes well!!
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Simple Yet Stylish Fashion Tips for Monsoons
The monsoons are here and it’s the perfect time to make some simple yet effective changes in your daily styling! This will not only add to your style quotient but will make sure that you look all classy in these lovely rains.
It's pouring outside and you're wondering how you can venture out! Attending to routine tasks becomes so much more difficult in the rain; it's just so messy and wet everywhere. But fret not, you can be comfortable and pretty even when it rains hard!
Monsoon Fashion Tips You Should Try Out
1. Choose the Right Denims
Denims are in trend immaterial of what season it is but avoid full length denims. Also avoid wearing too-fitted denims as monsoons mean high humidity and sweat.
2. Avoid Light Colors
Do ou adore light colors? Well, stay away from them now! Monsoon is full of water puddles and light coloured clothes will get dirty. Moreover, the stains do not go away easily.
3. Wear Proper Shoes to Keep the Water Away
Flip flops can be a good option when you step out in the rain. You can also opt for knee length gumboots; they give you a very panache look.
4. Wear the Right Accessories
If you like to wear a watch, make sure it's waterproof. Also buy handbags which are waterproof so that when it’s pouring like cats and dogs you do not have to worry about keeping your stuff safe and dry.
5. Avoid Wearing Artificial Jewellery
The polish of jewellery may fade away in these rains. Store them away for dryer weather.
6. Take Care of Your Hair
You can go for a monsoon haircut. A monsoon haircut is one that is easy to manage, but at the same time, stylish. Pixie and short haircuts are in trend these days. If you have long hair, tie them up in a top knot.
7. Wash Your Hair Two to Three Times a Week
This keeps your scalp clean. Avoid coloring or streaking in monsoons. Regularly condition your hair because hair get frizzy and unmanageable mostly when they are moist. Conditioning also prevents fungal infection.
8. Say Yes to Hoodies
It’s the right time to wear hoodies as they can save your head from the rains!
9. Choose Stylish Party Attire
When going out for a party, wear floral knee length sleeveless dresses which look very pretty in monsoons. You can also be playful with short skirts and sling tops. Wear water proof make-up and comfortable wedges.
10. Don't Shy Away from Raincoats
Raincoats are available in really cool and vivid colours and can certainly be a fashionable idea for the monsoons.
So, don't let the monsoons steal your thunder away! Look elegant and chic all year round! Read more
Ankita Mehta has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. is white discharge in 8th month normal?
Ankita Mehta
Mom of a 8 yr 7 m old girl
3 hours ago
A. hi
yes
but if it is too thick or clear like water,if there other symptoms like itching, irritation, redness,foul smell from vagina, please visit your gynecologist
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. My son is 5 months old is suffering from cough..what to do?
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. give nasal saline drops every few hourly to the child in the nasal cavity.
try to prevent temperature variations around the child
you can go for indirect steam inhalation which will again help in decreasing both cough and cold
continue the regular diet of the child
if there is no improvement in few days then meet your doctoru
for fever and pain give paracetamol.u
anti-cold medicines at this age have got side effects so can be given only after medical consultation.
POOJA KOTHARI has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 6 months
3 hours ago
Q. hi. in Feb my period was last and I did pregnancy test in March its positive results but my belly is not being bigger
POOJA KOTHARI
Mom of a 7 yr 1 m old boy
3 hours ago
A. Typically, your bump becomes noticeable during your second trimester. Between 16-20 weeks, your body will start showing your baby's growth. For some women, their bump may not be noticeable until the end of the second trimester and even into the third trimester. The second trimester starts in the fourth month.
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. I am 7 weeks pregnant. Before pregnancy I used to take medicine named Cyra 20 mg for acidity. Now since the day when I got to know that I am pregnant I am not taking any medicine for acidity but daily I am suffering from it. After having breakfast it starts. I am not eating any spicy food , oily food etc. Please help on this
Read moreRashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. Start having chilled milk directly from the refrigerator that usually helps a lot in reducing down acidity and anyways when you take so much of medicine in the body gets addicted to it to check with your doctor if you need to do anything or any other medication would be friendly in cases of emergency
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Mom of a 1 yr 9 m old child
21 mins ago
Q. hi mam , my baby 1 year and 9 month old just now onwards stop breast feeding .pls suggest formula milk to my baby
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
12 mins ago
A. your baby is more than 1 year 9 months of age any milk including buffalo milk cows milk ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
20 mins ago
Q. #AskTheExpert hello dr.
baby planning kar rhi kuch tips btayiye conceive ho jaye
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
12 mins ago
A. it's a natural process ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
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