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Oops, 10 Things It's Best Not To Say In Front of Your Indian Mother-in-Law
Mother-in-law! How does the word make you feel? Happy, scared, irritated, angry, anxious, nervous or a mix of all this? Your MIL may be the sweetest human being on the planet, but as per unofficial statistics, 81.5% women have some or the other worries about their MILs! These start before they get married and the mother in law problems continue for ever and ever!
Jokes aside, we are a culture that has always seen in-laws in a light of respect, obedience, but also some dread. Can the MIL ever be like your own mother? How should you talk to her and how should you not? Times may have changed, but trust us, there are some things that are still best left unsaid to an Indian saasu ma.
We spoke to moms around us and put together this list of things you should avoid saying to your mother-in-law.
Unwise Things to Say to Your Mother in Law
Disclaimer: The points mentioned in this article are meant in jest and not intended to offend anyone. Much love to mothers-in-law; we may fight with them, criticise them, and tell tales about them, but most of us know deep within – they will be there for us when we need them.
1. I’m Thinking of Going to My Parents’ Home
You mean maayka? Didn’t you know your husband’s house is now your house, and that family you grew up with for some twenty years is now paraaya (stranger). It’s another story that your sister-in-law keeps coming to visit every now and then and even stays for as long as a month. But she’s the daughter of the house; you are the daughter-in-law. Why one earth would YOU want to visit your parent’s home?
Tip: Many of us have experienced – some MILs are happy to let us go when they feel we don’t really want to. So, next time you’re planning on going, don’t look too interested, or just suggest that you'd rather go another time. Chances are, she will give you ‘permission’!
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2. Could I Wear a Dress to the Function?
Why? Where are all your sarees and salwar kameez? Good Indian bahus don’t wear Western clothes to functions. Even actresses like Priyanka Chopra are criticised for wearing dresses when they go for functions like meeting important people.
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3. I’m Not Ready to Have a Baby Yet
Listen, it’s very important to do everything according to the right age. There is a right age to get married, to have children, to live, and to die. If you delay pregnancy so much, your body will give up and then how will your in-laws get their waaris (heir)?
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4. I’m Not Good at Cooking; Can I Keep a Maid?
Wait, you are a housewife, right? Why does a housewife need a maid? Even working women need to cook for their family; it is their prime resposnibility. Didn’t your mother teach you how to cook?
Many MILs can competently whip up 7-course-meals from starters to desserts, so this one will have her totally judging you.
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5. My Mom Never Cooked It Like That…
Oh, it gets worse and worse! When you move into a new family, the new methods and lifestyles are what you need to adopt. So, if your mother added onions to the oil first and your MIL adds garlic first, you know whose rule holds ground. Talking about this is a leading source of conflict with mother in law, fellow moms report!
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6. These Saas-Bahu Serials Are Such a Waste of Time
Excuse us, but they are NOT! If they were a waste of time, would they be running for years and years? Would every MIL know the serial theme song, when it played, and when the reruns were? These serials with their fantastic storylines, amazing fashion tips, and larger than life characters are what Indian culture and good bahus are all about. Oh yes, good saas too.
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7. I Think That Saree Looks a Bit Tacky
Haww, did you even know that saree your MIL picked out for the wedding, or gave you as a gift, was modelled from a saas bahu serial? Those shows are ace when it comes to fashion sense, and if you find it tacky, there has to be some deficit in your perception as far as fashion is concerned. To avoid mother in law trouble, simple solution would be to steer clear of such fashion talk.
[caption id="attachment_178087" align="aligncenter" width="270"] Source: GIPHY[/caption]
8. I Really Miss My Family…
So, you’re unhappy in your husband’s house? Your in-laws mistreat you? No? Then there is no legit reason for missing your family! This is a common sentiment especially in a controlling mother in law.
[caption id="attachment_178089" align="aligncenter" width="485"] Source: GIPHY[/caption]
9. I Will Raise My Baby The Way I Like
Your MIL has a lot of experience of raising kids. Her kid is now your husband and what a fine man he is! That said, it is a distant dream if you think you’ll raise your baby minus interference and mother in law advice. Unless, of course, if you are among the lucky few whose MILs are helpful without being overbearing. A lot of us simply end up in awkward positions when we can neither accept nor refuse what our MIL has to suggest for the baby – from nappies to first foods.
[caption id="attachment_178090" align="aligncenter" width="250"] Source: GIPHY[/caption]
10. I Understand What My Husband Wants
This one is extremely delicate. So, of course you know your husband, but can you know him better than the one who gave him birth, potty trained him, saw him through schooling and college, and consented to marry him off? Whatever the answer to that is, it really is best not to challenge authorities on this one. Let your husband bask in the glory of love from both the lovely ladies in his life!
[caption id="attachment_178094" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Source: GIPHY[/caption]
Have you said any of these things to your MIL yet? We bet you have – some of them cannot really be avoided, no? While some of us are blessed to have MILs who see us just as their own daughters, others have a hard time figuring out how to deal with mother in law issues. Read more
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Not Allowed to Wash Your Hair During Pregnancy? Don't Worry About It!
Yes, you read it right. There are many 'dos and don'ts' a woman will hear once she becomes pregnant and one of those is to not wash her hair for 7 or 9 months of pregnancy. In some parts of India, especially in some parts of Gujarat, this old tradition of not washing the hair during pregnancy still prevails. Some women do not wash their hair for 7 months i.e., till the day of the baby shower and even after that, she is not allowed to wash it as frequently as other women can. Some women are not allowed to wash the hair till 9 months i.e., until the baby is born.
One might find this tradition to be stupid and illogical but there are some beliefs and myths linked to it. Firstly, it is given a religious link to make people follow it. Secondly, in the olden days, women had to go to the bank of the river to bathe and wash the hair. There always remained the risk of falling or slipping into the water. Thirdly, it is sometimes seen that a hair wash tends to trigger the menstrual cycle in some women when they are nearing the date of their periods. So, especially in the first trimester, washing hair can be a risk factor.
When I first heard about women not washing their hair (rather, when I was told not to wash hair on my pregnancy being confirmed), it was a shock to me. All types of thoughts started coming into my mind. How can one not wash one's hair for 7 months? It is impossible! I would go bald! I will smell too bad and whatnot. But when I started practising the same, I found it rather easy for me to maintain my hair. With all the iron and calcium tablets given by the doctor and some extra care toward the hair, it makes it possible to keep one's hair healthy during this long period. In fact, I observed a 90% reduction in my hair fall and it became thicker in spite of not washing the hair for 7 months. All you need to do is to maintain cleanliness.
There are few tips and hacks one can follow in such a situation.
If you have oily hair, do not apply any other oil to your hair. It would become too oily.
If you have dry hair, do not worry. Your scalp will produce enough oil for your hair.
Keep your comb clean because your hair will tend to become dirty too soon.
You can keep your hair clean by rubbing your hair section wise with hot water cloth or a towel. Make small sections of your hair and try to clean by rubbing it with a muslin cloth or a cotton cloth dipped in hot water (be careful of the temperature). This will keep the scalp dirt- and oil-free and make you feel clean.
Talcum powder can be sprinkled on days when you feel the scalp is a little oily. Another product that you can get from a local shop from your local market is shankjiru powder which can be sprinkled section-wise in the hair to keep it dry. (Do not use dry shampoo as it is not advisable for long use.)
One can even apply a paste of chandan in the hair to keep it oil-free and dry. Once it dries, it can be easily removed from the hair. You can take the help of some elderly person in the family.
As much as possible, try to stay away from dirt, dust and pollution. Cover your hair when you have to step outside the house.
So, not washing the hair during pregnancy might seem to be a big headache., but believe me, (out of my personal experience) it turns out, it can be quite alright. Just forget about it and follow some hacks and tips, and focus on enjoying your pregnancy. This period of 7 or 9 months will pass and you won't even realise it.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her.
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Your Baby This Week : 10 Month Week 3 Old
Your child’s ability to vocalize is improving, and he will say his first words any time now. First, the words don’t always have an exact definition.. The “dog” may mean anything with four legs, and “ba-ba” can mean a water bottle, teddy bear, bye-bye or all three. A scream may sound awful to you but to your baby, it’s just another way to flex your vocal cords. Many children go through a phase in which they are crying out loud and for a long time, sometimes just for the fun of it. (Lucky for you!) Please be patient these screaming episodes are soon to become less intense and less frequent. Usually, the target of screaming is to get something from you. Ensure that the essential requirements have been met, and he’s not hungry, tired, cold, etc), and provide a lot of non-verbal, physical signs of affection, like holding his hand.
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Positivity and happiness gives you strength to fight any lows
First thing I would sayalways havefaith in God and be positive. Coronatime isvery tough for all of us. I delivered a baby girl on 22 July 2020. Eight days later, on30th July, Isufferedfrom fever (102).I presumedit to be the after effect of delivery. But within next three days, I feltheadache and weakness in body. I became worried. So decided to go for Covid test. On 3rd of Aug 2020, samplefor Rt-Pcr taken. On 5th Aug, report came. Shockingly, I tested Covid positive. My baby at that time was just17 days old. Me and my husband both became very nervous and it was frightening and excruciating to think of baby's being infected with Covid. But docs gave as so much strength and support. They gave us that positivity and belief that everythings going to be fine. With this positivity and doctor's advice, baby had to live with my husband alone as he tested negative. I had to feed baby with proper sanitisation. Everytime, I used to put on mask to feed baby. But at this hour of grief, we don't know how the baby used to give us thesmile saying don't worry everythings will be fine. That gave us lots of strength to fight this disease. Ultimately, days passedwithout developing any symptoms. I remember with each day passing by, we used to get a sense of relief and positivity. Finally, one month passed and we all were fine. Baby has grown up now and she keeps us busy all the day with her small small acts and moments.When we think of that period, we find th most important thing that kept us moving was the beief in God and the positive environment. I must say we got lot of support from everyone. So do not worry and live happily no matter what may come. Read more
Anu Sharma has added a new answer
Expecting Father due in 3 months
3 hours ago
Q. My wife taking tablets for UTI it caused fever last week she took paracetamol and Pan D in IV and now for the past 5 days taking Nitrofurantoin tablet IP I have two questio
1) Will this tablets and IV affect my baby in any way and it's growth inside
2) She says still feeling some pain groin and abdomen area comparatively lesser than previous days
3) Any diets to avoid this UTI in future
Read moreAnu Sharma
Mom of a 1 yr old boy
2 hours ago
A. UTI infection is common in pregnecy. Better to consult gyne
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. ma lmp 28.9.2023 edd date 5.7.2024 ma age 25.7.1999 ma beby boy or girl plsss tell me mam
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. be not possible to tell. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr. Minal Acharya has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
2 hours ago
Q. Hii...., Is it safe to eat jackfruit in 4th month of pregnancy, daily 2 ...
Dr. Minal Acharya
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2 hours ago
A. dear mam, you can eat jackfruit during the 4th month of pregnancy. there is no problem in having it. you can eat all types of seasonal vegetables and fruits even green leafy vegetables.
shahin has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
1 hour ago
Q. is that positive result??? my Due date is tommoro I am having vomitting and nausea and back pain etc please reply asap
shahin
Mom of a 6 m old boy
20 mins ago
A. yes
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
37 mins ago
Q. Hi I'm in 23weeks pregnancy
my afi is 26 I have no diabetes or any other issues
is that risky ? what to do for making normal delivery possible
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
33 mins ago
A. yes AFI level is very high and yes you need to be very careful to have regular follow up with your doctor take the precautions advised by your doctor and regularly keep a watch on baby movements
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
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Q. nasal congestion during 9th week pregnancy is normal or something serious?
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A. it's ok . take steam twice daily or you can use nasal drops
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