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20 Soothing Things to Say Instead of 'Stop Crying!' to Kids
Kids are little angels but they don't stay that way when they burst out in tears. As a parent, it's heart-breaking to see your kids crying, but just yelling 'Stop Crying!' or resorting to violent or loud words won't help. Let's take a look at why empathy works and things to say instead of stop crying to toddlers.
Why Does Empathy Work?
Crying is a way of expressing feelings. When you use empathy, your child understands and gets that you're hearing him or her out. Empathy works because it shows that you are a pillar of support and are available to talk to when your child signals for help.
Children are also at an age where sometimes they don't understand the reason behind their feelings. By sitting down with your child and leaving your ears open, you're signalling that you're there as a guardian and are paying attention. This is also why one should not ask a toddler to stop crying.
Positive Phrases to Say Instead of 'Stop Crying!' to Your Child
Before you begin calming your child down, remember to take a few deep breaths, slow down, relax, and prepare yourself to be mindful. Saying the wrong things to your child or trying to be empathetic when you're feeling angry is like adding fuel to the fire.
Now that you're ready and relaxed, here's a list of positive phrases you can say (remember to say these in a soft tone):
1. "Hey Champ, why the long face? Why don't you sit down and tell me what's wrong?"
This is a friendly way to show your empathy. It signals your kid that you're trying to cheer him up.
2. "Look at me in the eye. Mommy is there for you and I know it's hard, so talk to me."
Saying this to your child lets her know that you can relate to the emotions they're going through.
3. "Why don't we go out for a break and have some fun?"
If your child is frustrated or crying because he couldn't do something he tried, this is an excellent way to take a time-out.
4. "You are absolutely safe with Mommy and Daddy."
Kids sometimes cry when they're bullied or feel unsafe. This phrase lets them know you're there for them.
5. "It's okay to feel this way, baby."
If your child's done something wrong or hurt his friend, he/she may cry because of guilt. This phrase is a good way to help them process those emotions.
6. "Do you mind if I sit next to you. How is your day going?"
Did your kid have a bad day? This one's an icebreaker that gets them talking eventually.
7. "I know, I hated that stuff too! Tell me what's making you cry. I'm all ears."
Your child may cry because nobody's hearing them out. This is an excellent way to open your arms to them and let them speak their hearts out.
8. "Daddy can help if you'll tell Daddy why you are crying."
If your child refuses to talk even after trying some of the above phrases, you could give this one a go. It tells your kid that you're open to listening but cannot help unless they talk. Kids are receptive to positive emotions, and this is a good way of letting them know that you're there for them.
9. "Want to give it a go one more time?"
Maybe your child fell off the bicycle or failed to play a game the way they wanted. This statement tells them it is alright to fail a few times before they succeed.
10. "I know it doesn't feel fair."
Life isn't fair. You know it, but your child doesn't. This statement will help them cope with their first bad event.
11. "I'm disappointed/angry/frustrated too. Let's talk about it."
This says you can understand what they're going through and they'll be glad to know.
12. "There was this time when I was so angry. I cried because...."
Maybe you have a story because you cried due to getting bullied, getting a bad grade, or not seeing your friends show up at your party. If your child is facing a similarly tough time, narrate your story and tell them how you cried too. This statement opens up your kids and lets parents bond with them.
13. "Always remember, I love you."
No matter what the circumstances, reinforce with this that you're there for them all the way.
14. "Do you want me to help you?"
Often when a child fails to perform a task, it's likely they require some assistance. This phrase is a gentle way of saying there's nothing to be ashamed of and that asking for help is okay.
15. "Let's Work On This Together"
Children have a competitive spirit. Sometimes when they hit a roadblock, you have to pitch in. This statement tells you that you support what they're doing.
16. "You'll get cookies if you finish your..."
Sometimes a child throws a tantrum by crying when they want something badly. By saying this phrase or something similar, you let them know that their reward is available and not running away.
17. "I remember you wanted this toy for your birthday"
If you can't meet your child often due to a busy lifestyle, this is a good way to remind them that you care. Maybe they were crying because you forgot something and this is a good way of telling them that you remember.
18. "Relax, you'll figure it out."
If your child's a genius, he may stumble on a wall on his road to learning. Tell them it's okay and that they'll get it soon.
19. "Bad moments never last forever."
If your child had his heart broken by a friend in school or if someone made fun of his intellect, reassure that it's just a phase and that bad times don't last forever.
20. "I'd like you to play with me."
If your child has a tough time making friends, it's time you step in. Encourage him to be your playmate and dry those tears away for a fun time.
What to Avoid When Your Child is Crying?
Now that we've covered what to say, we'll let you in on a secret- what to avoid to say to a crying toddler. Words can hurt and make the situation worse when not picked carefully. Here's what not to do when your child is crying:
1. "You couldn't figure that out? You're an idiot!"
Not only does this lower their self-esteem but they'll grow resentment towards you when they grow up. Your child's human, after all.
2. "Just shut up. I can't take it."
Never yell at your child or tell them to zip it. It signals you don't care about their emotions and makes the situation worse.
3. "Get Out"
Never tell your child to get out or go away when they're crying. It makes them feel abandoned and in extreme cases, they may harm themselves or run away from home.
4. "Why?! Why?! Why?!"
Children crave support, and when you ask too many questions, it feels intrusive, not supportive. Never ask too many whys. You want to be there for them, not against them.
5. "Your friends wouldn't have cried."
Comparing your child's feelings with his classmates or peers is downright cruel. Don't say this ever, because it's what we call being toxic by belittling their feelings.
Good parents are like guardian angels for their kids. Always be willing to hear out what your little one has to say. That way, you foster a positive and open-minded relationship and not something your child hates remembering.
Also Read:
How Should Parents Handle Their Naughty Kids?
Tips to Teach Empathy to Children
Easy Ways to Teach Self Control to Kids Read more
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10 Best Ways to Have Better Family Communication
The best families are often ones that have good communication. If you envy how your friends' families get along so well and you have issues with your own, here's the secret - it's communication.
It's a simple concept that's often overlooked. But don't worry, we'll tell you how to work on it and make sure you craft good memories. More on that below.
Why is Good Communication in Family Important?
Having good family communication skills is important because of the following reasons:
You Get to Know Each Other Better
Sometimes our busy lives prevent us from interacting. And when you get swept up with that, you feel like totally different people who never knew each other when you finally talk. It creates a sort of disconnect and a good way to prevent this is by talking to your family.
It Prevents Gossip
When you ignore conversations or don't make the time to talk, gossip spreads. Maybe they think you're avoiding them or ignoring intentionally when that's not really the case. You can prevent this by developing good communication with your family members.
It Eliminates Assumptions and Negativity
Healthy communication between family members is a good way to eliminate assumptions and negativity from floating around the house.
How to Improve Family Communication?
Here are 10 good ways you can foster good communication between family members:
1. Dine Together
Don't let your kids and wife have meals while being cooped up in their own rooms. Make your family sit at the table and make that a routine. Enjoying meals together is a good way to open up the lines of communications and get your group talking. Plus, it makes meal times a lot more fun too.
2. Schedule Family Time
You can't get family time if you don't make time for it. Schedule an hour a day for a sit together at the table or just idle talk. It doesn't have to be an hour; just 20 minutes will work as well. Either way, plan out some activities during this time or get ideas for conversations ready such as what's going on, what's trending, or anything your kids or family members feel like sharing.
3. Do Activities Together
Doing activities together is a proven way to bond and interact with your family members. Activities could include playing videogames, golf, or anything that can be enjoyed as a group. Don't make this optional but a ritual instead. Plan out movie nights on the weekends and go out together. Other simple activities could include reading to your kids before bedtime or just tucking them in and spending a few minutes with them.
4. Go for the Problem, Not The Person
It's natural for us to explode when weird things go around in the house. Sometimes your child may break stuff, or your wife may mess up a few chores. It happens, we're human. Maybe even you got something wrong and got blamed for it. It's important to shift the attention from the person to the problem. Make it a point not to accuse or complaint about anyone but focus on how to fix the problem. IF there are leaks in the house, don't blame your family members for it. Focus on what can be done to fix it. It's a lot more positive that way.
5. Appreciate Your Family and Be Kind
It really helps to show some appreciation and kindness to your family members. This could be something as simple as attending your son's high school football game or making time for your daughter's concert. When your kids are struggling, show some positivity by appreciating their talents and never discourage them. If you want to critique them, go ahead but make sure it's positive and constructive, not the type that makes a person feels bad about themselves.
6. Use Technology to Connect
Although it's a good idea to interact and communicate in-person, sometimes life happens, and that's not possible. This is when interacting with your family over social media, your own family website, email, or Skype is important. Pick one to two digital communication channels and use them. Share songs, art, or any event going on there, comment, and socialize with your family.
7. Listen Intently
When a family member talks, don't cut them off mid-sentence. Listen to them actively and intently. Let them speak and articulate their thoughts verbally. Hear them out because the backbone of communication is this. If you don't listen, how will you know what's going on inside their minds?
8. Talk in the Car
If your family travels a lot, and you find your members glued to their devices, it's a good idea to turn off electronic devices and just chat while enjoying the scenery. You have to make opportunities like this, no matter where you go, especially when you're on the move with your family members. This helps create a positive communication environment too.
9. Schedule "Me" Time
"Me" time is just one-to-one time with your family members. Sometimes your kids may want to talk about things with you but can't because they're too embarrassed. By spending some alone or one to one with them, you strengthen bonds and literally help them open up. It's also a good way to get to know people on a personal level, and that's what you should want.
10. Put in the Time
The final ingredient to bettering your family relationships is simply putting in the time. You have to invest time into improving this, especially if things look like they've come to a standstill. There's no other way besides this, and you have to be patient. Be positive, make an effort to interact, show that you care and build family communication patterns- and your family members will start responding eventually. That's just how relationships work; it's a two-way street.
And there you have it. Just work on these tips and let us know how it goes. Communication is a wonderful thing an when you feel the positivity building; you really feel like you're at home.
Also Read:
Essential Family Rules for Happy Living
How to Build Healthy Family Relationships?
Benefits of Eating Together As a Family
References:
http://extension.udel.edu/factsheets/communication-skills-for-you-and-your-family/
https://family.lovetoknow.com/about-family-values/importance-family-communication
http://www.froddo.com/8-steps-to-better-family-communication Read more
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Married Women, You Need to Still Check for STDs - Here's Why
STDs, if not diagnosed on time, could pose a major risk to your health. The symptoms of STDs in women, as well as the causes, should be understood so you can stay safe. Your health is important so don't play around with it!
Sexually transmitted diseases can occur at any age and even married couples are found to be at risk. It's essential to get a regular check-up done as untreated STDs can lead to dangerous diseases like cervical cancer. So, stop procrastinating and start acting by getting yourself tested regularly.
Learning To Be Aware Of STDs In Women
STDs can infect anyone, especially if you aren’t careful when having sex. While being married doesn’t necessarily mean you’re safe, monogamy can greatly decrease the risk. Most sexually transmitted diseases are caused by having oral, vaginal and anal sex with someone who’s infected.
Know the signs:
Here are the most common signs of STD in women:
Pain in the abdomen
Foul-smelling or unnaturally coloured vaginal discharge
Fever with aches
Frequent chills
Pain while urinating
Ulcers
Unusual bleeding from the vagina
These can all be signs of an infection, and if overlooked, they could be dangerous.
Find Out: Do you have any of these STD symptoms that most women ignore but should not?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsNdPcVv7To
Transfusion with infected blood and sharing used syringes
Piercing and tattooing with unsterilised needles
What causes STDs?
The main culprit of STDs is unprotected sex. However, there could be some other causes of STD too which are as follows:
These reasons are especially common in certain sexually transmitted diseases like HIV or hepatitis.
Is There More Than One Type of STD?
Of course! HIV isn't the only STD you need to worry about. There are different types of sexually transmitted diseases like chancroid, chlamydia, genital warts, hepatitis B and syphilis. Chancroid can make a person prone to HIV while chlamydia can cause eye-related infections in newborn children. Hepatitis can damage the liver if not treated and syphilis can cause multiple organ failure if left unchecked. Gonorrhoea, another STD, can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease if ignored!
What Are The Treatments for STD Infections?
Being diagnosed with any STD can be traumatising. But the good news is that with early diagnosis and proper treatment, many can be cured. Those that can’t, can be medically controlled to help you lead a better life. Here are some tips on treatment for STDs to help you find relief from the condition:
Bacterial STDs will require antibiotics. Consult the doctor, and never self-medicate
Remember to choose an experienced doctor who knows your condition well. Don’t worry yourself needlessly - try to stay calm while you consider your options
Your partner might also need to seek treatment. Remember to discuss this with the doctor
Some STDs like genital warts might require surgery. If you have liver damage due to hepatitis, you might need a liver transplant
Having a Strong Support System is Important
Don’t go through the experience of treating an STD alone. Take the support of your partner. Usually, STD treatment for a married person entails treating their spouses too. This is very important as it promotes safe pregnancy, minimises the risk of the infection's progress, and helps you both come to terms with the situation.
Sexually transmitted diseases are a major concern for healthcare professionals as they’re easily transmitted from one person to the other, and they may even cause death in the severest of cases. It’s time to get aware and get active. Regular tests can lead to early diagnosis which makes treatment much more effective. Read more
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Soy Allergy in Babies - Symptoms, Management and Safety Tips
For breastfeeding infants, soy allergy may not be immediately evident off the bat. As a child starts trying out different food items, any allergies that might exist begin to surface and can be diagnosed effectively. Giving soy to a child is definitely recommended since it provides a huge nutritional serving, but soy allergy is also a condition that one needs to be aware of.
Is Soy Safe as a Baby Food?
Before giving soy to your baby, it is important to understand whether it is safe to do so.
Derived from soybeans, soy contains numerous nutrients that are good for the child.
Giving soy milk to a lactose intolerant child is a great substitution.
Soy shouldn’t be given as a baby’s first food but can be introduced once he has other food items as well.
What Causes Soy Allergy in Babies?
Any allergy that a person suffers from is usually the reaction of the immune system of the body. The same condition exists for a soy allergy as well.
In this case, various proteins present in soy products may be misinterpreted by the body’s immune system as harmful substances. This causes a secretion of a specific kind of antibodies, called immunoglobulin E, or IgE. Therefore, any time when soy is ingested, these proteins are detected by the antibodies and the immune system reacts by sounding the danger alarm and releasing a flood of histamines in the bloodstream to combat the substances. These chemicals are the reason for allergic symptoms being visible in various forms, right from skin rashes to breathing problems, and many more.
At times, a food allergy can be delayed as well and trigger only when the allergen enters the intestine or the colon. The reaction, in this case, is not immediate but occurs after a few hours, and majorly results in stomach ache, diarrhoea and similar symptoms.
Symptoms of Soy Allergy in Infants
The signs of soy allergy in a baby are pretty evident. These need to be observed as early as possible in life so that the allergic condition can be diagnosed properly. Most of the symptoms are:
Eyes swell and start itching and watering
Reduction in blood pressure
A feeling of being lightheaded
Seeing red coloured spots
A repeated occurrence of wheezing
The existence of an oral allergy syndrome
Repeated vomiting
An anaphylactic attack
Various issues of the gastric system
The appearance of rhinitis due to the allergy
An onset of asthma
Presence of hives all over the body
Dizziness and a feeling of nausea
How to Manage Allergy Reactions
Making use of a special formula for babies with milk and soy allergies can help avoid any untoward incidents. However, if your child does face a severe reaction, it needs to be managed effectively without panicking.
It is always better to keep common anti-allergic medicines such as antihistamines or others to control any allergic attack.
Talk to a doctor to get epinephrine and understand the right way to use it.
Epinephrine injections are also available in a compact form that can be carried anywhere or even given in your child’s backpack.
At times, using an auto-injecting epinephrine might be necessary to be used by other caretakers who may not be aware of the proper techniques to handle allergies.
What to Do if Baby Attends a Nursery
For children that suffer from an allergy and spend their time at a nursery, extra care needs to be taken by informing the staff about the allergy as well as providing a plan of action in case your baby has a reaction.
Provide them with an emergency number to call upon should they spot any signs of a reaction.
Give them your own contact number or alternate numbers of other family members to reach out to immediately.
Keep an epinephrine injection with your child or the nursery and ask the staff to use it, if the child starts showing signs of swelling or breathing difficulties.
Safety Guidelines for When Your Baby is Diagnosed With Soy Allergy
When your baby is diagnosed with an allergy towards soy, there are ways to manage the reactions should they occur. However, prevention is a better alternative any time and there are a few guidelines you can adhere to, in order to keep your little one safe from certain foods.
When purchasing food items from the supermarket, check the label for the ingredients. Avoid items that mention any soy derivative on it.
Certain cuisines such as Asian foods make use of soy products liberally. Be extra careful when opting to go ahead with one.
Many bakeries have started using soy in mixtures of cakes, chips and even roasted nuts. Double check for any presence as such.
Keep away from sprouted soybean as well.
Some spice collections that contain mixed elements do have the possibility of including soy as well.
Be careful when choosing any kind of vegetable stock or canned food products like soup and others. They might contain soy in the ingredients.
Certain variants of margarine make use of a soy oil in their preparation.
Multiple dips, sauces, spreads, dressings for salads also make use of soy to accentuate their flavour.
Nowadays, there are varieties of biscuits, bread, and other desserts that use soy in their preparation, too.
Check with fast food joints and inquire if they make use of soy in any of their preservatives or cooking techniques, as well as items such as flour or cheese.
Figuring out any kind of dairy and soy intolerance in babies can be a messy affair because such conditions can be diagnosed only when they occur for the first time. Once the diagnosis is attained, it is quite easy to prevent any reactions from occurring again, as well as keep a contingency plan in place to treat its emergence.
Also Read: How to Recognize and Treat Egg Allergy in Baby Read more
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Perfect First Day of School Books for Kids
The child's first day of school is usually a nerve-racking experience for teachers and students. Parents must prepare their children mentally to let go of the comforts of home and get them used to the daily routine of going to school. Nevertheless, irrespective of their age, all kids tend to feel nervous in anticipation of the rigor of keeping up with the timings, curriculum, homework, and disciplines enforced by their school. If your child is overwhelmed and needs to relax, read-aloud books can play a vital role in calming their nerves and building a positive attitude about going to school.
Best Back-to-school Books to Read Aloud
The first day of school is generally an exciting day filled with new classmates, new teachers, and new books of a higher grade. Books can become a person's best friend, loyal supporter, and key counsel for life. Books on the first day of school for preschoolers can capture the nerves and excitement of the first day of school from various perspectives. They have characters who undergo similar experiences that a child can easily relate to and get interested in listening to the story till the end. Thus, reading promotes the maturity of thought that may be otherwise blinded by fear of going to school on the first day for young children. Here are some of the most diverse titles of books that might capture your child's feelings best and ensure they enjoy going to school every day.
1. Danbi Leads the School Parade by Anna Kim
Despite the excitement to attend her new school in America, Danbi, a little girl, feels nervous and lacks confidence in her new class performance. Nevertheless, Danbi manages to lead her class in a parade after settling her nerves and enjoying herself.
2. So Big! by Mike Wohnoutka
Simple text and adorable illustrations make this is one of the best back-to-school books for kindergarten. It focuses on how fear of school can get over the confidence of even the bravest kids, and however, they can find strategies to ensure the day goes just right.
3. The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson
This lovely book reminds us that even if we feel like outsiders on the first day of school or in any new situation, we can still muster up the courage to try new things.
4. All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold and Suzanne Kaufman
This picture book highlights the importance of diversity and inclusiveness in a classroom setup where children of different countries, faiths, and backgrounds come together to learn, grow, and play.
5. Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney
This book explores Llama Llama’s experience of the first day of school, as he feels new yet discovers how fun be before Mama Llama comes to pick him up.
6. Second Grade, Here I Come! by David J. Steinberg
This first day of school books 2nd grade is grade-specific and filled with new things any kids would encounter in their academic year.
7. School’s First Day of School by Adam Rex
This is one of the best first day of school books for 3rd grade and is about Frederick Douglass Elementary, where the school shares the first day jitters along with the children. The author brings a fresh look at the first day of school from the school’s perspective.
8. David Goes to School by David Shannon
This book underlines the classroom rules and boundaries through David’s funny and relatable escapades. Both teachers and students would enjoy reading this book which is a great first step towards creating a positive classroom ambiance.
9. The King of Kindergarten by Derrick Barnes and Vanessa Brantley Newton
This bestseller is about a little boy’s enthusiasm to take on his first day at school, make new friends and narrate to his proud parents about all his achievements. Filled with joyful illustrations, this book is a must-read aloud to give kindergarten children a reassuring confidence boost.
10. Amelia Bedelia’s First Day of School by Herman Parish
A funny picture book for kids starting kindergarten and up through the second grade is about the beloved protagonist Amelia Bedelia who takes away the nervousness involved in going to a school on the very first day through her goofy mistakes.
11. We Don’t Eat Our Classmates by Ryan T. Higgins
This giggle-worthy read-aloud teaches kids how to make friends in a new school by learning to treat others the way they want to be treated.
12. How to Get Your Teacher Ready by Jean Reagan
This book turns the tables on teachers by instructing them to prepare themselves for a new academic year. It is a great preview of getting your child excited about the forthcoming events and the fun milestones they can achieve in the upcoming school year.
Age-appropriate books that address problems of going to school on the first day are not just entertaining but underline some strategies that help kids stay calm, focused, and feel empowered to take on the challenges ahead.
Also Read:
Shape Books for Kids
Funny Books for Children
Toys and Books for School Children Read more
Nikitha has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. Mera 8 month start hu white distance hora mere ko
Nikitha
Mom of a 9 yr 5 m old boy
6 hours ago
A. hello since u are a expecting mom this would require a proper medical attention and it is better to check with your doctor and your doctor will be able to guide you better on examination of the same and advise you accordingly
Akifa Tahreem has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
5 hours ago
Q. hello doctor, I'm 3 weeks pregnant. can we sleep on our belly or which side We can sleep on during pregnancy...
Akifa Tahreem
Mom of a 7 m old boy
4 hours ago
A. no you can't sleep in your tummy
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
2 hours ago
Q. @ask_the_expert
#ask the expert
I am having pcod problem.
when should I check pregnancy test at home?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
1 hour ago
A. If you have missed your periods you can wait for one week more and then do a urine pregnancy test to know about the pregnancy result and consult with your doctor according to the result for medication
Dr Priyanka Kalra has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
2 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
At which day should I take pregnancy test
Dr Priyanka Kalra
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist
45 mins ago
A. after 2 weeks. do ultrasound n necessary tests after consulting a specialist. without proper check up we can't advise or help you.. Avoid shirt cuts when it comes to health if mother n baby. ok.
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
2 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
when should I take pregnancy test?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
1 hour ago
A. after missed your periods you can wait for one week more ,then you can do a urine pregnancy test to know about the pregnancy result and consult with your doctor according to the result for medication
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
2 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
but having regular cycles below 35 days. some time it will extended upto 40 days.
so when should I take pregnancy test at home?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
1 hour ago
A. If you have missed your periods you can wait for one week more or else you can do a urine pregnancy test to know about the pregnancy result and consult with your doctor according to the result for medication.
The best treatment to have Regular periods is by having a healthy lifestyle with regular daily walking or jogging along with mild exercise and meditation whenever possible. as medications will only act till you are taking them
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