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12 Biggest Parenting Mistakes and Ways to Recover From Them
Being a parent is not an easy task. However, there is a lot to learn in the process, both for the parent and the child. Learning through experience helps a parent to give a good upbringing to his or her child.
Parenting may come easy to some, while for others it may be a troublesome task. Even though the experience may vary from person to person, there are some parenting mistakes that have become quite common. What many parents consider the obvious things to do are actually having a negative impact on your child!
The Most Common Parenting Mistakes to Avoid
1. Not Letting Your Child Explore
Ever since their birth, our little ones are constantly learning. Your baby starts by looking at your face, catching your expressions and slowly growing to understand other things. Even as your little tot grows into a preteen, playing is her favourite way of learning and in this effort, she often ends up getting bruised or hurt. However, this must not be a reason to stop her from exploring. If parents constantly keep guarding and correcting their child, she will not be willing to try new things or learn from her mistakes.
2. Constantly Comparing Her with Others
This is something that has an adverse effect on the child. It is common when a child starts school, that her grades are compared with that of her classmates. It is important to note that constantly telling her how others are better than her won’t change her grades. On the contrary, it will affect her self-confidence. It would be ideal to sit with her, and help her figure out the reason why she is not able to perform or if there is any other matter bothering her.
3. Trying too Hard to Raise a Perfect Child
This is one of the most common parenting mistakes in first-time parents. In order to ensure that they raise the perfect child, they become too hard on her. They lay down strict rules, push them to behave in a certain manner and constantly keep them in check. Such an attitude will only distance the child and weaken the parent-child bond. Parents should remember that it is important to chalk out certain guidelines, but they should be made flexible enough based on the child’s response.
4. Threatening Her Over Bad Behaviour
Threatening a child or shouting at her is a minor form of child abuse. It can cause her emotional harm and may also make her a person of low self-esteem, in the years to come. Parents should teach their kids to follow rules, but without any physical or verbal harm.
5. Telling Her that She is Always Right
Pampering is something that every parent does, but too much of it can be a bad thing. Making your child think that she is always right may make her over-confident. Children should know their mistakes and also be aware of the fact that their actions affect other people. Hiding your child’s mistakes will encourage her to do bigger mistakes in the future. The child should know where she is wrong and learn to own up to her mistakes.
6. Preaching without Practicing
Many parents have the habit of giving long, unending lectures to their kids, but they never follow what they preach. Kids take their parents as the most influential role-models and thus, often imitate them. If you tell your child that eating junk food all the time is bad, smoking is injurious to health, or sitting in front of television all day is not acceptable, then you should learn to follow the same yourself.
7. Ignoring Her School Life
Understand that the child spends most of his day in school, so she has many experiences there (good or bad). It is, therefore, important for parents to know what is happening in school. Children should not feel that their parents completely ignore their school life. This will also encourage her to discuss anything that is bothering her in school or if she is being abused or bullied by someone.
8. Fighting Over Control
This situation worsens by the time kids hit their teens. In order to show who is the boss, parents often make decisions hastily, jump to conclusions easily, and get angry too quickly. In cases where the kids are not listening, parents should reason it out with them. Shouting at her or forcing her to do one thing and not the other, will instil feelings of anger and frustration in the kid.
9. Raising Her to Become What You Wanted to Be
It is a common tendency that parents force their desires on their kids; especially when it comes to careers or some extra-curricular activity. Parents should realize that each child is different and may excel in differing fields. It is crucial to act on this aspect of problems in parenting; hence, the right thing to do is let her follow her dreams, while you support her in his endeavours.
10. Fighting With Your Partner in Front of the Kid
Always remember that the idea of relationship in a kid’s mind develops at his home. Constant fighting between you and your partner may affect her mental health, and may also lead her to follow the same aggressive behaviour in the coming years.
11. Parents Always Behaving Like "Yes-Sir" Friends
Parents sometimes worry about hurting their child's feelings and end up treating them as small adults. While you certainly need to make your child feel responsible and mature, one of the few mistakes to avoid while raising the child is becoming her Yes-Sir friend! Some actions/decisions will not go down well with your children, but such decisions need to be made if they are in the child's best interest.
12. Missing the Wonder of Childhood
Childhood is a time for play, free fun and discovery. Parents should not rush their little ones through this precious, innocent, once in a lifetime phase. Parents should equally enjoy this phase, as, very soon, their little one would be all grown up.
Parenting comes fraught with challenges and difficult situations. It also comes with plenty of rewards and wonderful moments. Just keep note of these common parenting mistakes and you're good!
Do you have a parenting story to share? Tell us in the comments! Read more
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suman meena
Mom of a 4 yr 7 m old girl
1 min ago
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Foetal Monitoring
The progress of science and its application in medicine has made it possible for doctors to monitor pregnancy and labour in great detail, and intervene when needed to safeguard the baby and the mother. Once such way of monitoring the baby during pregnancy, labour and childbirth is foetal monitoring.
What Is It?
During labour and delivery, your doctor will be monitoring the baby’s heartbeat to check on the tiny heart’s status and its response to your contractions. This monitoring may also be done before labour as a part of regular check-ups during the pregnancy or when you notice any change in the frequency of baby kicks. Foetal monitoring can detect an abnormal heart rate which may be useful in detecting any health problems your baby could be facing. It is a reliable method of checking the baby’s heartbeat and helps the doctor take corrective measures.
Why Is It crucial During Labour?
It is as critical for doctors to carry out foetal heart monitoring during labour as it is to monitor it through the entire pregnancy. This process helps the doctors keep track of the baby’s heart rate and times the duration of the contractions you are experiencing. It is an extremely reliable method for your doctor to know if your baby is doing well or facing any problems. The purpose of foetal monitoring during labour is to ensure that the foetal heart rate stays normal. This assures you and your doctor that the delivery can proceed normally if there are no other problems.
The primary aim of foetal monitoring is to identify if the baby could be hypoxic (deprived of adequate oxygen levels) so that other assessments of foetal well-being can be carried out. If the results are positive, the doctor could decide to deliver the baby by caesarean section or instrumental vaginal birth.
Foetal monitoring at home is also an option if the right kind of equipment can be made available. This is mostly done when the mother has been recommended to stay at home or to make minimum movements.
Types of Foetal Monitoring
There are three different methods of monitoring the baby’s heartbeat, and these are carried out depending on the need of the hour. These intrapartum foetal monitoring methods are divided into internal and external monitoring, and they are as follows:
External Monitoring
What it is: Also known as Auscultation, this is a process where a small, hand-held device called a Doppler transducer or a special stethoscope is used to carry out foetal auscultation. In this process, the transducer is connected to a foetal heart rate monitor or the Doppler Foetal Monitor through a set of wires. Your doctor will place the transducer and move it all over your abdominal area till the device picks up your baby’s heartbeat, which is then transferred to the foetal or pregnancy monitor.
When it is done: This method is used to monitor what the doctor considers to be safe or low-risk pregnancies, and this is considered routine in this case. There are pre-set times when your doctor will check the baby’s heartbeat, such as during the routine check-ups, and the frequency will be increased if the doctor notices any abnormality in the heart rate.
Risks: While there are no known risks of auscultation as it is used only periodically during labour and delivery, the method of electronic foetal heart monitoring may pose some issues for the expectant mother. They are:
During EFM (Electronic Foetal Monitoring), you will need to restrict your movements as even a slight movement could interrupt the signals and the machine could spout incorrect readings.
It limits the movement of the pregnant woman which could be uncomfortable and make it difficult for the woman to deliver the baby naturally. However, with technological advances, portable devices that can be connected wirelessly to your body are also being increasingly used in hospitals.
Benefits:
The sound of the baby’s heartbeat is reassuring for the mother and may help dissipate uncertainty and stress
Detection of any anomalies may enable the doctor to take remedial action to protect the baby
Limitations:
The movement of the mother is limited during monitoring, and this may cause discomfort
Routine monitoring is not recommended in low-risk pregnancies
Internal Monitoring
What it is: In this method, an electrode is placed on that portion of the baby that is nearest to the cervix, which is usually the baby’s scalp, and the baby’s heart rate is monitored. However, in this method, since your contractions will not be monitored, the doctor will have to insert a pressure catheter into the uterus to understand its frequency.
When it is done: When your doctor is unable to receive the necessary data of your baby’s heartbeats through external monitoring, he may have to opt for the internal monitoring method.
Risks:
The electrode may cause a little abrasion or tiny bruises where it touches the foetus
You could feel uncomfortable when the electrode and the pressure catheter are inserted
This method is not recommended for mothers who are HIV positive or infected by herpes since the virus is likely to be transferred to the baby
Benefits: Internal foetal monitoring produces more accurate results than external foetal monitoring
Limitations: Internal monitoring can be carried out only after the amniotic sac has burst (after the water is broken) and this could cause delay in monitoring the baby’s heart rate
Continuous Electronic Foetal Monitoring
What it is: This monitoring is conducted using a special Foetal Monitor. A set of wide, stretch bands is used to hold two electronic disks, also known as transducers, in place. These transducers have two different functions to perform when they are held against the abdomen. While one transducer tracks your baby’s tiny heartbeats, the other transducer monitors your labour contractions and times it to perfection. The readings are transferred from the transducers to the monitor which records and prints it on a chart for doctors to check and take necessary action. This monitor can also reproduce the sound of the baby’s heartbeat for parents-to-be to hear. This method is also known as the Continuous Electronic Foetal Monitoring method due to the frequency at which the monitoring of the baby’s heartbeat is carried out.
When it is done: Continuous foetal monitoring is done in late pregnancy and during labour
Risks: A woman who opts for continuous foetal monitoring is more likely to have an assisted birth, as doctors are likely to suggest an emergency C-section even if the risk to the baby is only a perceived one.
Benefits: Continuous monitoring not only comforts you as you can hear the baby’s heartbeat but is also believed to reduce chances of a seizure after the baby is born. A seizure is a symptom of brain damage which may have occurred due to lack of oxygen.
Limitations: Electronic Foetal Monitoring does not cause any pain to the mother or the baby in any way. However, the to-be mothers can experience a certain amount of discomfort due to the limited movement it causes.
Intermittent Auscultation
If you are an expectant mother, you must already have experienced this method during your prenatal visits to the doctor. In intermittent auscultation, during the first stage of labour, the nurse or doctor checks the heart rate every 15 to 30 minutes and then increases the frequency to every 5 minutes during the second stage. The doctor keeps a check on the baby’s heart rate in between your contractions, to gauge if it falls between 110 to 160 beats per minute. This also allows the doctor to get a sense of the baby’s tolerance to your contractions.
Comparing Continuous Monitoring to Intermittent Auscultation
While both are external foetal monitoring processes, they differ in the frequency of monitoring done. Intermittent auscultation records the foetal heart rate at pre-decided intervals or periods, while, as the name suggests, continuous monitoring is done throughout the labour or delivery.
Intermittent auscultation uses a device known as a Doppler transducer to measure the heart rate, while the foetal heart tracing (heart rate) in continuous monitoring is reviewed by the doctor on a regular basis using transducers and monitors for the display of information and data.
Intermittent foetal monitoring is carried out for women who are considered to have low-risk pregnancies. When the doctor anticipates issues related to the delivery, he carries out continuous monitoring so that corrective action can be taken at the right time.
What Is Category 2 Foetal Heart Tracing?
All Foetal Heart Rate patterns that do not fall in either the normal (Category I) or the abnormal (Category II) range are considered to be category two foetal heart tracing. These tracings are then classified as atypical. If your doctor comes across such a pattern, he may attempt to change your position to reduce the cord compression and enhance blood flow to the placenta.
What if My Baby’s Heart Rate Is Abnormal?
Your doctor will evaluate your baby’s heart rate throughout labour and keep a watchful eye for any signals that indicate a problem. He will be monitoring the baby’s baseline heart rate to know if it’s normal and evaluate the changes if any.
In the event of your baby’s heart rate being abnormal, the doctor will advise a few more checks and tests before arriving at a decision. Remember, an abnormal heart rate does not always indicate that something is wrong with your baby, and the tests which follow will determine the actual issue.
If your baby moves, its heart rate will go up during that time, and this is normal. It mirrors the increase in your heart rate when you exercise. It is only the unchanged fast heartbeat that can be disconcerting for the doctor.
As a corrective measure, the doctor may take steps to change your position or provide additional oxygen to you. Giving you the necessary fluids through an intra-venous method can also give positive results. In case these measures do not yield the expected result, the doctor may decide to deliver the baby using the caesarean method or by applying forceps or vacuum to draw the baby out.
Foetal monitoring is an important way to monitor the health of the baby before birth. Some level of monitoring is performed on a regular basis, and even if the doctor recommends extra monitoring, it should not give you any cause for concern. Make sure you speak to your doctor if you are worried, and take his advice to ensure your baby’s safety.
Also Read: Foetal Echocardiography Read more
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It's Ok to Not Be Able to Feed Your Baby!
Hello, new mums!
I'm the mother of a two-and-a-half-month-old son. I started producing surplus milk shortly after giving delivery, which I had to pump every 2 hours. Seeing it, all of my concerns about whether or not I would be able to feed my baby vanished. However, there is a catch! After a month, my milk supply began to dwindle, so I went to my family doctor, who sent me to a lactation consultant, and I began taking a tablet twice a day to increase my supply.
Apart from that, I've been following specific age-old recipes for a good milk supply since the time of birth. The tablets did not work for me, so I began taking granules that should be mixed with milk and eaten twice daily. Finally, none of these ways worked for me, and as a result of using them all, my body became overly heated, resulting in blisters. My doctor then affirmed that a mother's natural propensity to make less milk can occur in some situations, and that it's fine to accept this and go forward.
Now, the mother in me could not accept this tendency, so I continued to take all of my medications in order to feed my baby milk. I began to believe that I had failed as a mother because I couldn't feed my child. Just a few days ago, I realised that being a true mother means being able to comprehend my baby's requirements and feeding him according to those needs, even if it means making your child have formula milk.
The point to make here is that when I tried to force my infant to consume solely my feed, he began to lose weight. He's now a healthy infant with the appropriate height and weight. Mothers who are unable to feed their children directly, please don't be worried. Certain things are beyond our control, and the most essential thing for us is to stay healthy and be capable to care for our child at all times. The most crucial thing to consider is overall development and wellbeing of your baby. I'm not pushing anyone to switch to formula feeding, but if you have to, here's how to get started. It's perfectly acceptable if it's appropriate for your child!
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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This is How ADHD Could Be Affecting You
The effects of ADHD in adults are not difficult to diagnose. However, we often confuse the signs to be indicators of stress and keep struggling with them. This ADHD Awareness Month in October 2015, find out if you could be fighting a harder battle than you thought.
ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is usually associated with children. While it is easily spotted in kids, adults are equally susceptible to developing it. What's troubling is that the signs often go unnoticed or disregarded as side effects of routine, hectic life.
7 Clear Signs That Might Indicate ADHD
1. You have problems keeping your bills, to-do lists and children organised. All Moms have this to some extent. Parenting is hard! But there may be trouble if you are facing severe issues or the problems are interfering with your or your family's life.
2. Been in too many traffic goof-ups, accidental falls or over-speeding penalties lately? This is a clear sign of ADHD risk taking. If you find yourself behaving recklessly all the time, take a step back and analyse your actions.
3. You have a hard time patiently listening to your husband or child's problems. How can ADHD affect relationships? This is how! Your family will eventually feel you are not giving them time and importance and this can upset the household.
4. Too many temper tantrums or flashes of anger could also mean something is wrong. While all of us lose patience every now and then, poor anger management needs to be checked before it damages your rapport with loved ones, or puts you in trouble at work.
5. Is sleep hard to come by? If you constantly feel edgy and cannot unwind even after a long day, there may be a deeper underlying cause than just stress. Stop taking sleeping pills or telling yourself you have insomnia; it could just be ADHD and it is very much controllable.
6. Your work deadlines keep getting missed because you find it hard to concentrate on tasks. Little things such as loud conversations at work distract you too much. This is creating a rift in your equation with your boss and you can't seem to help it.
7. Taking initiative or actually getting down to completing a task is difficult for you. This could mean trouble with anything from cooking dinner to cleaning your closet. If you fail to get things done even after trying hard, and feel the days disappear helplessly, you could be suffering from ADHD.
This October, ask yourself if you could be suffering from ADHD. Keep track of these signs and if you are in doubt, consult with your doctor. Therapy and medication can control ADHD to a large extent. Take care! Read more
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Babyhug Opal 3 in 1 Cozy Rocker Sleeper With Mosquito Net Review
MOM this word is the most wonderful word to be heard as a women. As every women even I waited for that magical moment. Finally it arrived and I came to know that I concieved. This feeling is the best feeling I ever had in my lifetime.
The days passed on the little one inside my womb started growing I could feel those momevmebts and that kicks will never forget those amazing feelings. Finally the day has arrived to see my little one. As soon as I took him into my hands I promised him that I will give him the best whatever I give to him.
As he is growing up I was planning to buy a cosy rocker sleeper for him I was in search of it finally I came across Babyhug rocker sleeper along with the mosquito net. Yeah this catched my eyes and ordered it immediately.
After three day my door bell rang and the delivery boy handovered the package. My first impression with this package was I just felt in love with the package. By seeing it I decided that I ordered the best product to my baby as promised.
Finally I unpacked the package and kept the parts infront of me and started assembelling it. It just very simple to assemble and the final output came so perfect.
The rocker has all the features which I was looking for. It has music,vibration, mosquito net. The music so soothing that as soon as I place my baby he sleeps In it very comfortably he never got irritated. And the mosquito net is the best one it is some soft and even my baby holds it it designed in such a way that it doesn't harm them.
Overall this is the best product in the budget friendly. Any new mom's looking for rocker this will be the best choice. Please just go for it without any second thoughts.
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Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
20 hours ago
Q. I'm in my 28th week of pregnancy and from past 2 days I felt movement of Baby a little low is it normal??
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 8 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. You are feeling a movement that is most important less and more I completely understand your concern with that but till the time you are feeling a movement you know your child is absolutely absolutely fine so nothing nothing to be worried but if you feel it is we way lesser or you are not feeling it much then you can check with the gynaecologist
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Father due in 2 months
7 hours ago
Q. #AskExpert Pl explain :
Fundal Anterior wall, Grade II. Well away from the internal OS. The placenta echotexture is homogenous and there is no evidence of Retro placenta clots. Placenta maturity normal.
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 8 m old girl
7 hours ago
A. Only Dr would be able to give you better guidance on that so whatever doubt you have associated with your query kindly take it up with your doctor as the doctor has to see entire situation as all that basis for health can be provided
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. baby weight 3.5 kg normal delivery possible???
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. there are many factors for normal delivery definitely baby weight is one. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
2 hours ago
Q. Is it normal to have a one leg swelling in 7 th month
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. not normal
in your case a medical examination is required for proper diagnosis and treatment.
difficult to tell without examination whether it is normal or not.
advisable to remain in contact with your doctor for proper guidance and treatment
Dr Priyanka Kalra has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. Early pregnancy symptoms
Dr Priyanka Kalra
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist
1 hour ago
A. nausea, better to show to specialist always as they get the correct diagnosis. try to avoid self and extra medication that will only complicate this and create more damage to the child
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
26 mins ago
Q. I am 13 weeks pregnant and I have a low lying placenta. Is it a risk ?
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
18 mins ago
A. Hello dear! There are chances of improvement in the situation. Consult your doctor for evaluation and advice. Clarify your concerns about this and follow your doctor's advice. Rest well. Good luck and take care
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