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Godh Bharai (The Indian Baby Shower) Ceremony
Events that celebrate pregnancy and childbirth are part of human history. Baby showers go far back into history and were not the consumer-driven events that they are today. In ancient India, the mother was given gifts in the form of fruits and other edibles which would help the baby grow. This has changed over time, and its current form is known as the Godh Bharai.
What is Godh Bharai?
This ancient Indian tradition is like the western concept of baby showers. It is a celebration of the upcoming motherhood and acts as a support mechanism for women who are towards the end of their pregnancy. ‘Godh Bharai’ is a Hindi term and translates to “fill the lap”.
Some of the other variants celebrated in different parts of the country include:
1. Bengal
Known as Shaad, this lays heavy emphasis on delicious food and takes place during the last month of pregnancy. A unique aspect of this celebration is that gift giving for the baby is not encouraged as it is believed to bring bad luck.
2. Kerala
Known as Seemandham, rituals are interwoven with the ceremony as the mother to be must partake in a holy dip. The intelligence of the unborn baby is given paramount importance, with chanting and prayers dedicated towards this goal lasting for almost 90 minutes.
3. Tamil Nadu
Known as Valai Kappu, the mother-to-be is decked up in a black saree with red and green bangles to ward of unholy entities. Temples play a central role with at least four different temple visits being a crucial part of the ceremony.
4. Punjab
The godh bharai rasam is celebrated during the 7th month of pregnancy with close family members. The mother in law has a central role to play where she places a dupatta with fruits and coconuts on her daughter’s lap after prayers.
5. Gujarat
Known as the Godh Bharna, it has some similarities with its Punjabi variant in the sense that the mother-in-law has a meaty role to play. The mother to be is seated cross-legged on a furniture article known as the baajotth. Then, the mother in law places jewellery and other gifts on her lap.
6. Maharashtra
Known as the Dohal Jevan, the Marathi term roughly translates to “To satisfy the food craving”. As evidenced by the name, there is a substantial emphasis on the food aspect of this ceremony with nutritious foods such as rice and sweet chapati finding its way to the menu. An exciting aspect of this ceremony is the gender association with each food which can be turned into a gender guessing game.
When is it Performed?
India is a vast country, and there is no one way to perform this ancient art of the celebration of motherhood. The Nair community of Kerala for instance, do it during the last month or pregnancy. In neighbouring Tamil Nadu, it is sometimes done in the fifth month of pregnancy, although this can be pushed to the seventh or even ninth month.
Importance of Indian Baby Showers
Indian baby showers are a cultural innovation and must be viewed in its historical context. Due to the emergence of modern medical technologies and specialised care, pregnancies are relatively safe. This wasn’t the case even a century ago where there was a high mortality rate, with many women succumbing to various complications such as excessive bleeding. Godh Bharai, sometimes, was the last celebration for a woman which is why prayer is a vital part of the ceremony.
How is it Performed?
Prayers are an essential part of most Godh Bharai occasions with formal prayers and chants being recited in unison.
Like any other occasion, dressing up is crucial, and you will be clothed in traditional wear and adorned with flowers.
In many parts of the country, anointing oils have a special place, and you are often anointed by the senior women of the family.
What good is a celebration without some fun? Games are played with the baby in mind and can range from guessing the sex to a choosing a name.
As part of the Indian baby shower traditions, singing and dancing are inseparable.
Some amount of teasing is always done to the mother to be. However, all of it is done in good humour without the intention to hurt anyone.
In some parts of the country, only women guests are allowed.
Living up to the name of godh bharai rasam, the womenfolk of the family along with your girlfriends will fill your lap with sweets and fruits.
You will be made to sit in an easily accessible spot where your friends and relatives can come and bless you.
The gifting part of this baby shower is mother-centric and can include bangles, sarees and other apparels. Like the Shaad, many communities believe that gifts for the baby should only come once the baby is born.
Tips for Making Godh Bharai Ceremony More Enjoyable
1. Rest
The celebrations can get a little hectic for someone who is expecting. Make sure that you have adequate rest before and after the ceremony. Have designated spots in the venue reserved for you so that you can be seated at a moment’s notice.
2. Clothing
The weather can play spoilsport to your ceremony in an unexpected manner. During summers, avoid wearing sarees that have stiff silk or a lot of embroidery work as it can work up a sweat. During winters, don’t hesitate to get your partner’s coat along in case you’re feeling too cold.
3. Restricted Eating
Because there is so much good food around, it can be very tempting to partake in the festivities. Remember that your diet is important and indulging can lead to issues like heartburn and fluctuations in blood sugar.
4. Guest Entertainment
Keeping your guests satisfied and content is key to having a good ceremony. Apart from good food, you could hire a henna artist who can do work on the ladies at the venue.
5. Return Gifts
If you have a big budget or want to thank all the guest for showing up, you could send them a parting gift. This could be purchased from the store such as traditional women’s items like dupattas or even a hand-made thank you card.
Amazing Ideas for Indian Baby Showers
A baby shower celebration in India is a traditional affair, but there are no restrictions on making a few changes. Following are some ideas that you could use:
1. Baby Theme
A Godh Bharai ceremony can always have a theme to go along with it. One of the most popular ones is a baby theme where everything from the paper plates to the napkins has a baby on it.
2. Potluck
Catering can cost a lot of money and usually ends up in wasted food. You and your girlfriends can decide what’s on the menu and each person gets their dish.
3. Pampering the Mommy To Be
The essence of a baby shower is letting everyone know that you are the centre of attention. This means the celebrations are low key and the budget is oriented towards making you feel special. This could include coupons to a spa or a salon.
4. Diet Friendly
If Godh Bharai is about you, why is it that you aren’t allowed to touch most of the food served? Here’s where you can change things. The catering can be done where only healthy snacks and pregnant-friendly foods are allowed.
5. Do It Yourself (DIY) Baby Shower
Baby showers needn’t always be about fancy venues and stage events. A DIY baby shower is one which emphasises using your skills to create a good Baby shower environment. Handmade ribbons can be given to the guests, decorations can be made from chart paper, and even the gifts to be given must all be hand-made.
6. Environment-Friendly Theme
Are you a nature lover? Provided the weather is pleasant, the ceremony can be held outdoors. The venue can be a plastic-free zone with paper plates and cups replacing plastic. Eating with the hand will be encouraged to avoid plastic spoons, and minimal decoration will be put up.
A baby shower is held at a time when you are on the journey to motherhood and need all the support of those around you. With the anxiety, insomnia and digestive problems, the celebration of being around your family and friends is an excellent break.
Also Read: Top 15 Modern and Fun Baby Shower Games Read more
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Cramps But No Period - Causes and Tips to Relieve Distress
Cramps and pelvic pain are usually considered a sign of the onset of menstrual period. Prostaglandin, a lipid hormone-like compound, causes the muscles of the uterus to contract, to expel the unfertilized egg and the uterus lining, resulting in cramps during menstruation. However, sometimes, a woman may experience cramps, yet no period. Such an occurrence can be worrisome for many, as they rush to pin-point the cause. There may be several underlying medical reasons for such a condition.
15 Reasons You Get Cramps, but No Period
While most women may be able to differentiate between cramping related to menstrual cycle and other cramping situations, at times the symptoms can be confusing and situations like cramping, but no periodmay need further examination. Some of the likely reasons for getting cramps without period, can be:
1. Pregnancy
Period pains, but no period – could I be pregnant? – may be the most likely conclusion. Cramps which are not followed by menstruation can be an early indication of pregnancy. Cramping may occur when the fertilized egg implants itself to the uterine lining. In such an occurrence, you may experience minor cramping or implantation pain, usually around the time the periods are due, for about 3 to 4 weeks into the pregnancy.
2. Delayed Period
Menstrual cramps, but no period may be due to a late period. Cramping may be the result of ovulation (release of eggs from the ovaries) taking place. Ovulation normally takes place around 10 to 15 days before the start of the period. Though, ovulation may get extended, at times, causing a delayed menstrual cycle. Some women may miscalculate their period date or suffer from irregular period. In such instances, period pains without menstruation may cause anxiety.
3. Menopause
Menopause indicates the end of a woman’s monthly menstrual cycle and fertility. It usually occurs around the time a woman turns 50. In some cases, a menopausal woman may experience cramps during the pre-menopause phase, when the menstrual cycle starts changing and ovulation does not occur on a regular basis.
4. Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Inflammatory Bowel Diseases (IBD) like Crohn’s disease and Ulcerative colitis can be responsible for causing cramps, yet no period. Ulcerative colitis is related to the colon, whereas Crohn’s disease adversely affects the digestive tract’s lining. IBD typically produces symptoms like swelling, redness, irritation, and pain, collectively affecting the gastrointestinal parts, including the mouth, stomach, oesophagus, small and large intestines. In case of Crohn’s disease, cramps can be experienced on the lower right side of the stomach, and with Ulcerative colitis, cramps may be felt on the lower left side of the belly.
5. Ovarian Cyst
Ovarian cysts or fluid-filled sacs on the ovaries can be another cause of cramps, but no period. In most cases, development of ovarian cysts may not be a cause for worry and do not normally produce any symptoms. Occasionally, some women may experience lower abdominal pain or cramps, especially if the cysts grow in size and rupture. In these cases, appropriate treatment can relive pain and discomfort.
6. Eating Disorder
Cramps, withthe absence of period, may stem from eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. Bulimia is a serious eating disorder, characterized by binge-eating and then purging to avoid weight gain, while those with anorexia may resort to food limitations to remain thin. Women who suffer from bulimia and anorexia may experience cramps and irregular periods, or no periods at all.
7. Ovarian Cancer
Cramps related to ovarian cancer can often be mistaken for constipation or gas. In case there is a constant pain and feeling of pressure in the lower abdomen, it is advised to consult a doctor. Other ovarian cancer symptoms may include bloating, swelling, loss of appetite, urinary urgency, and variations in the menstrual cycle.
8. Ectopic Pregnancy
In case of ectopic pregnancy, the fertilized embryo implants itself outside the uterus, more often than not, in one of the fallopian tubes. A woman with an ectopic pregnancy can experience mild cramps or one-sided sudden, sharp piercing pain, which may reach the lower back or shoulders.
9. Cervix Stenosis
Painful cramps, but then no period can also be indicative of cervix stenosis, meaning that the opening of the cervix is unusually narrow or completely closed. This condition can cause the uterus to fill with pus or blood, and lead to severe cramping and pelvic pain.
10. Autoimmune Oophoritis
Autoimmune oophoritis is a rare medical condition of primary ovarian insufficiency. It occurs when the immune system of the body erroneously attacks the ovaries, leading to their destruction, fibrosis, inflammation, or atrophy. Autoimmune oophoritis may result in abdominal cramps and even infertility.
11. Endometriosis
Endometriosis is a disorder which causes the tissues and cells that usually line the uterus, to flourish outside the uterus. Endometriosis can lead to the occurrence of cramps in the lower abdomen, pelvic area, and lower back. The cramps may feel similar to those experienced during a period.
12. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) is a bacterial infection of the upper part of the female reproductive organs, namely the cervix, uterus lining, fallopian tube, ovaries, and vagina. The infection is usually transmitted through sex and can result in painful cramps. The cramps can occur anytime during the month. Intense cramping may happen around the pelvic area or lower abdomen.
13. Interstitial Cystitis
Interstitial cystitis is a painful bladder condition, which may cause bladder pain, bladder pressure, and at times, abdominal cramps and pelvic pain. The cramps may increase in severity during menstruation, especially when there is a full bladder. They can further worsen if a urinary tract infection develops as well.
14. Pelvic-Floor Muscle Dysfunction
Pelvic-floor dysfunction is a condition in which the connective tissues and muscles that support the pelvic organs, namely the vagina, bladder, uterus, and rectum, become weak or damaged. Pelvic floor disorders can produce severe cramps in the leg, groin, lower back and lower abdominal area.
15. Appendicitis
Mild or painful cramping is a normal symptom of appendicitis. In some cases, the cramps may become so intense that activities like sneezing, coughing, and moving can cause considerable pain.
When to Consult a Doctor?
Cramps, but no period can be a stressful time, as you try and determine the cause of trouble and whether it warrants a consultation with your doctor. If this is the first time you’ve encountered cramps without a period, take a deep breath, and read below, to know when you should consider getting a medical consultation.
If your cramps persist or return in intervals, it could be indicative of a deeper issue that must be treated.
Look for any abnormal changes in your body or symptoms other than cramps, to narrow down where the problem lies. This can also help your doctor accurately diagnose the cause of cramps without period.
If you have PCOD or a thyroid disorder, cramps could be an indication of hormone fluctuation. Consult your gynecologist or endocrinologist for further examination.
Cramps could also point at ovarian cysts or fibroids. If the pain persists or you have a history of cysts or fibroids, consult a doctor for treatment.
Tips to Reduce Discomfort
Some of the tips to help reduce discomfort are listed below:
Taking adequate rest or simply lying down for a while, may bring some relief from the pain.
Applying a heating pad or a hot bottle wrapped in a towel on the concerned area at regular intervals, can help reduce e pain.
Drinking a warm beverage like hot herbal tea or warm milk may prove to be
Soaking yourself in a tub filled with warm water relaxes aching muscles.
A stroll or walk keeps your body active, and has proven to help women suffering from cramps.
Gently rubbing the affected area may also prove helpful in relieving pain.
It may be difficult to ascertain the cause of cramps, but no period. The probable causes for having cramps, but no periods can range from simple reasons like pregnancy, constipation, and appendicitis, to more serious ones like ovarian cysts and cancer. In case of any persistent doubts, it is advisable to seek a medical consultation.
Also Read:
Cramping Without Period – An Overview
Can You Get Pregnant Without Having a Period?
Missed Period with a Negative Pregnancy Test Read more
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I Will Fight the World for You - A Story of Continuing a Pregnancy Against All Odds
It had been a month since their wedding. She still felt like an alien in her husband's house since their families were so different. Just as things were getting familiar, she realised that she had missed her period. At first, she thought it was probably because of the tablets she took to delay her date so that it doesn't interfere with her honeymoon trip. As days went by, her tension increased. Reluctantly, she bought a pregnancy test kit and even while she waited for those 5 minutes, she was sure that the second line could not possibly appear. It was way too soon. What would people say?
Her eyes filled with tears as she saw the dark second line; whether it was because of joy, sorrow or fear, she couldn't fathom. She told her husband and they sat speechless for a few minutes. 'We should reconfirm', they decided and left home early that morning under the pretence of a meeting. She sat at work later that day, waiting for the lab blood test results and her eyes filled again as she saw the obvious positive result. She first told him and they called their parents. Her parents were shocked only for a moment but received the news with joy, and reassured her that everything would be fine. His parents, though, were not so happy.
She returned home to frowns instead of the smiles such news would usually bring. She didn't know what she would do. Her mother-in-law acted and spoke as if it were her fault this had happened. She even took her to a gynaecologist and asked her for "options" as the girl sat teary-eyed. When the doctor refused to do anything, her mother-in-law suggested meeting another one, at her home. Alarm bells rang in the girl's head. No! Surely she wasn't serious. She cried for an entire day and fought with her husband. "This is my baby and I will not let anyone harm it. You can either stand with me or don't, but I will fight with the entire world if needed. I am not a killer!" she said. He finally listened and told his mother that no talk of getting rid of the baby should happen. The mother-in-law couldn't understand why she was crying for this.
Soon, the months passed and she got no support. Her mother-in-law said nausea is not real and can be overcome with will power. She ignored such things and did everything herself. Balancing work and household chores were proving to be difficult towards the end. Finally, the days of labour neared and she was admitted. 3 days of failed induction and a C-section later, her little princess was here. Even through the pain, she knew the love that she felt in that moment was the purest of all. And the play of fate was such that her daughter came out looking just like her mother-in-law, and now, the mother-in-law loves and cares for the grandchild that she once wished didn't exist.
Yes, it was unplanned and yes, it was too early, but now the girl has a lifetime companion in that house where she was always out of place. The world is now a better place.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Colourful Holi Party Ideas For Kids
Holi, the ultimate festival of colours, is a beautiful way to celebrate the arrival of spring in India. Young or old, shy or bold - everybody loves to get smeared with colours on Holi day! While that's one way to celebrate this joyous festival, we also suggest that you arrange for some fun Holi games for kids to keep them occupied indoors.
It may be tempting to simply let your kids go out with the crowd on the roads and have fun splashing colours and squirting water on each other. However, it may not always be safe for the little ones, especially when the crowd gets rowdy.
Additionally, chemically engineered colours can trigger rashes and allergies in your kid's sensitive skin. Your best bet is to plan some games for Holi party and let your kids have fun with colours in a safe and controlled environment.
This fest of vibrancy presents you with the wonderful opportunity to try innovative Holi party ideas for kids. But before we begin, a few words of caution -
Use natural colours. You can even make your own DIY Holi Colours.
Don't let the colours get into the eyes and mouth of your kids.
Water-filled balloons should be avoided by younger children as they can cause injury. Older children should exercise caution while playing with water-filled balloons, and NOT aim at delicate body parts.
Do not forcibly pull unwilling children to participate in the fun.
Holi Games and Party Ideas for Kids
1. Rainbow Rain Dance
One of the Holi games ideas that would surely be a hit amongst the young ones is the Rainbow Rain Dance. The venue has to be an open space like an outdoor garden or the terrace of your building. Make the area safe by getting your patio furniture and plants out of the way and ensuring that the area is secured by boundaries. Play the best Holi special songs in the background and you're all set.
You can use any tools such as pichkaris (water guns), buckets, tumblers, plastic cups, sprinklers, garden hose and inflatable swimming pools, or even hang shower-heads surrounding the party area. Start the rain dance, and allow your kids to throw and splash water on each other to their heart’s content. However, supervise closely and follow some safety rules.
2. Holi Photo Booth
Hang a plain white cloth (roughly the size of a bedsheet) in an open space. Ask kids to go mad and splash all kinds of colours on the cloth. They can decorate it however they want – splash colours, draw graffiti, doodle, leave hand or footprints, etc. Once everyone is done, hang a sign that says ‘Happy Holi’ on top of the cloth, and your Holi photo booth is ready!
3. Bring Out The Little Picasso
This Holi festival game will not only be loads of fun but will also encourage creativity in your kids. Arrange finger painting or Rangoli drawing competitions amongst kids of the same age-group. You will need an empty hall or an outdoor space like a terrace for this game too. For the finger painting competition, spread large sheets of canvas or opaque, white plastic sheets on the floor and ask the tiny Picassos to draw and paint something with their fingers dipped in colours.
You can give them acrylic or oil paints, but ensure that the kids follow the safety rules. Rangoli competition should on the vacant floor. Let the kids form groups of 3-4 members and ask them to draw vibrant rangolis in groups. It’d be even more fun if these competitions have some theme. Reward every child to boost their confidence. Make sure that once they are done, the kids wash their hands properly.
4. Colour-Themed Snacks
Let’s face it – the snack and drinks are the main attraction of any party! So why not go crazy with a colour theme for your Holi party snacks? You can either pick a single colour and work recipes that include different shades of the colour, or you can simple organise your food in such a way that it looks colour-sorted.
5. Face Painting
No doubt Holi is about colours, but it is also a festival of reconnecting with the child within you and finding joy in being silly! So this game, meant for children and parents, is bound to put a smile on everyone’s face!
Pair children up with their parents – mom or dad, whoever is available and willing to get a little messy. Arrange for poster paints, watercolours, water, and paintbrush. Then, ask children to paint their mom’s or dad’s face! To make this more exciting, you can give children a theme and clock the competition, giving them each 3 minutes to paint their parent’s face.
6. Little Chef in The House
The kitchen is usually forbidden territory for most children. But with this Holi game idea, you can allow your children to enjoy Holi and make snack time fun! After all, what is a party without colourful snacks?
The idea is simple: either children can whip up their own original dish and make it as colourful as possible, or you can give children a ‘base’ food (such as a plain cake, or vanilla ice-cream, or a plain pizza base, etc.) and ask them to add colourful toppings to the food to decorate it (making a beautiful Holi themed cake, a colourful ice-cream sundae, or a finger-licking pizza respectively!). This can turn into a competition too, with the judging criteria being how colourful the final recipe is!
7. Dress Code
Holi is about forgetting your sophistication and going a little mad! So why not insist everyone come dressed in white clothes? There is something very satisfying about spoiling a perfectly white t-shirt or a pair of shorts! We mothers are always after our kids, scolding them everytime they drop food or other things on their clothes. Imagine their glee when they realise they do not have to worry about it on Holi! Yay!
8. Colourful Party Favours
While pictures are great, other kinds of more tangible memorabilia can make your party exciting. So, create a party favour hamper for all children that come to the party. Make it colourful with stationery supplies, candy, and other bright and colourful things!
9. Race to Colour
This game for Holi party is less-messy and can be played by kids and parents alike. Keep buckets filled with coloured water at the starting line and an equal number of empty buckets at the finish line. Give a plastic cup to each child and ask them to fill their cups with coloured water and race to the finish line to pour the water from the cups into the empty buckets, until the buckets are filled.
The challenge is to spill as little water while running as fast as possible to the finish line. However, the fun twist here is that the winner gets all the buckets of coloured water poured on him. Make sure both the winners and losers get to sample delicious Holi recipes!
10. Awards
One exciting way to make children participate in all activities planned for them is by organising awards! At the end of the party, you can declare awards like ‘Most Colourful Outfit Award’, ‘Messiest Kid Award’, etc. to the kids
These are just a few fun Holi party ideas for kids. You can always experiment and innovate with these and come up with some versions of your own. But remember to be safe, clean and lenient with your kids, for them to have real Holi fun that they will remember for a long time. Be safe and have a Happy Holi!
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Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
14 hours ago
Q. Hlw dr its my 6th month pregnency can i intimate with my partner
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
13 hours ago
A. Hello dear! If your pregnancy is going on fine without any high risk factors then it’s okay. Still, would advise you to check with your doctor once before going further. Maintain a good personal hygiene routine and a healthy lifestyle
Abhaya Rajput has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
11 hours ago
Q. My breasts feel full and heavy, but there’s no milk when pumping and during feeding baby —what do I do?
Abhaya Rajput
Mom of a 14 yr 4 m old boy
4 hours ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much. But it is really very difficult to say anything without proper examination. It is advisable to get yourself evaluated by a doctor and follow doctors advise properly. You can also book online doctor’s appointment on FirstCry where the doctor can help you and guide you properly.
Thanks and take care
Dr Disha Patel has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 6 months
10 hours ago
Q. can I take medicine pcm n citrazene in pregnancy fir sore throats n fever
Dr Disha Patel
Ayurvedic Physician
5 hours ago
A. dear mom.
better to take tab pcm for time being n do take steam inhakation couple of tines a day, follpw good home renedies for cold, taje more rest .
Swati Kar Samanta has added a new answer
Mom of a 9 m old child
4 hours ago
Q. hi everyone good morning,
sorghum can I give to my 10 month baby is it safe or not please revert I waiting for your reply
Swati Kar Samanta
Mom of a 2 m old girl
2 hours ago
A. Yes but first give in very small quantity to judge the reaction of your baby.
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
2 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts is it okay that the baby is kicking less than usual?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. Yes it is the what part is that your child is kicking if you feel that there is a movement of your child whether it is a cake or slight movement also you know that your child is doing fine so there is no problem in that if the movement is less it’s completely alright
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. #asktheexperts what to do if the baby’s nose is blovked
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
1 hour ago
A. Nasal blockage is very common, specially in small children because of the narrow nasal cavity. Any kind of saline drops like nasal clear will be helpful in dissolving the stuffy secretions, which can be taken out by vnasal aspirator gently also steam inhalation will be helpful also, try to avoid keeping the child directly under the fan.
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