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Attention Seeking Behaviour in Children
Every child wants attention, and sometimes they'll do anything to get it. Some parents spend up to only 7 minutes a day with their child, and if we have siblings in the picture or step-siblings even, the middle ones often get neglected. Feeling left out leads to attention seeking behaviour in children which we discuss below. Keep reading to learn what it is and how to put an end to it.
What is Attention Seeking Behaviour in a Child?
Ever faced problems like your child lying down in the middle of the road to get a toy or causing a scene at the park amidst other siblings by stealing ice cream or bullying other kids? These are examples of attention-seeking behaviour, and sometimes it goes too extreme to the point where you get glares and glances from outsiders and other parents.
Other signs of negative attention seeking behaviour in children are -
Faking illnesses to get some of your time
Causing too much drama at home or in public settings
Causing harm to others and trying to play hero
Creating problems which make one parent argue with the other
Playing the victim by magnifying the proportion of simple everyday problems
Showing that they are super busy and completing everything on time or before
How Much of Attention is Enough for Your Child?
How much attention is enough for your child will depend on the child's personality, behaviours and daily routines. Your child may feel satisfied with the attention she receives at home but may be disappointed in the classroom, in which case, you may need to talk to the school counsellor or concerned teachers to make room for opportunity to shine by asking questions and encouraging participation in group discussions.
Giving your child 100% of your attention at home for at least some time of the day, fully and uninterrupted is highly recommended. The reason behind this is if you don't spare your attention for your children, they may end up causing temper tantrums or throw fits in other settings to cause a scene.
Types of Behaviour That Merit Attention
There are different types of attention seeking behaviours. However, just like behaviours, there are ways of approval and rewards that come with adult attention. They are listed below.
1. Positive Attention
If you find your child doing something good, give them some words of encouragement or reinforce that action with positive rewards. This is what we refer to as positive attention. In other words, a pat on the back, a gentle hug, words of praise and small smiley doodles or notes in their notebooks or lunch boxes work just as well.
2. Negative Attention
Negative attention is like a vicious cycle. Your child misbehaves, you lose your cool and scold them. Then they do it again, and again, and again. You get the gist. To get more of that attention. Invariably, you get increasingly upset at every turn of the way since children do mishaps and mischiefs to nab some of your time. This is also an example of toddler attention seeking behaviour.
3. No Attention
No attention is when you aren't paying any attention when your child is doing something good. For example, two brothers who are usually messy or destructive in behaviour are quietly sitting at home and watching TV together. The parents don't respond to this positive change and proceed to move on with their work. This is an example of paying no attention to children.
Emotional Issues Behind Your Child's Attention Seeking Behaviour
The emotional issues or causes of attention seeking behaviour in children are -
Maybe your child has trouble making friends at school
Doesn't get enough attention from you at home
Feels lonely or left out amidst other siblings
Feels ignored due to parents being busy working too much
Doesn't get enough attention at school or in outside settings
Past experiences or trauma
How to Deal With Attention Seeking Behaviour in Kids
Here are some tips for dealing with or how to stop attention-seeking behaviour children-
Give More Positive Attention - Help your kids lend a hand with your kitchen chores or praise them for spending time with themselves quietly like watching the TV or drawing. If they have talents, ask them to practice and praise them for putting effort into it.
Ignore Bad Behaviour - bad behaviour comes with no rewards. Make that known through your ignorance to his whines and tantrums. In time, he will realize that and slowly change his behaviour for the better.
Give Options - If they don't want to do less desirable tasks, make them more doable by providing them options. For example, what dress do they want to wear or what dessert they want for dinner (if they eat their vegetables).
Alone Time - Set aside 5 to 10 minutes of uninterrupted alone time with you and your spouse each, separately. Maybe, before bedtime works or whatever works for the two of you.
Do's and Don'ts for Parents
Below we have some of the do’s and don't where dealing with attention-seeking behaviour in kids is concerned.
Do's -
Try to Ignore - If your child is screaming or yelling or simply causing a ruckus verbally, don't be afraid to tell him that he won't be given chocolate or extra TV time because of his actions and that you'll hear him out once he calms down.
Create a Rules List - List out the rules of the house and consequences for breaking each. For screaming, it could be 10 minutes cut from their normal TV time, and for making a mess, it could be going to bed early and so on. Create this chart with your kid and hang it up at eye level at a place where they can see and often visit. Stick to this chart no matter what, and you'll slowly notice them making changes in their behaviour.
Give Attention Mindfully - This is not to say that the rules cut out attention from your side. Gather around during family dinners to talk, read out stories before bedtime and do the little things that bring joy to your child's daily life but remember to enforce the rules and be consistent about playing out the consequences when they break them. They'll only take it seriously if you're consistent and serious from your end.
Don'ts -
Scream - It's natural to feel angry or frustrated but never lash out at your kids by screaming or losing emotional control from your end. Whenever you feel like you'll lose your cool, feel free to move away and take a break. Don't be afraid to tell your child that you're taking a break because you're not in a state to handle their whining currently and will be back after a few minutes after they quiet down. Practice deep breathing exercise and meditate for a few minutes every day to be calm and composed.
Guilt-Trip Your Kids- Don't make them feel guilty or emotionally blackmail them. If you feel out of it, just tell them you're tired after a day's work and won't be able to resolve their situation today since you don't have the energy to. Make it clear that you won't be able to keep them company on that day if they continue whining or yelling and move out of the room instead. Even kids have feelings; they will surely understand.
Think That It's A Clinical Disorder- Most parents think that their kids' temper tantrums are linked to ADHD or other medical disorders. Don't assume that. Sometimes it's perfectly normal for kids to scream and yell since they are at that stage of development in their lives. However, if your child is cutting herself or acting out dangerous situations or causing harm, then seek out a paediatrician for help.
And that's it! Just try out the tips above and keep these pointers in mind to fix attention seeking behaviour in children in school and home and we're sure you'll notice the positive changes soon. And remember the magic word - time.
Also Read: Common Toddler Behavior Problems & Solutions Read more
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At What Age Can Your Child Go to a Daycare/Childcare Centre?
With fast-paced lives and work demands, present-day parents may be required to put their children in a daycare centre. However, the question in most parents’ mind is, "What exactly is the right age for my child to go to a daycare?" Well, this article will help you take the right decision for your child.
What Is the Best Age to Put Your Child in a Daycare/Childcare Centre?
Whether to send your child to a daycare or not is your personal choice. However, in most cases, it may depend on your work schedule, demands and also on your child. Ask yourself a few questions before you make this decision:
Does my child feel uncomfortable in the company of strangers?
Will my child feel overwhelmed in a noisy environment?
Will my child feel comfortable and adjust easily to a new environment or place?
Will my child indulge in various kinds of activities and games with kids from his age-group?
These questions will help you decide whether sending your child to childcare is a sound decision or not. However, if you are wondering about the minimum age for child care, it varies from centre to centre. Some may allow babies as young as a few months old, whereas other centres may be suitable for toddlers and older children only. Therefore, you need to find a daycare centre that is best suited to your child’s age and other requirements.
Benefits Your Kid Will Get from a Daycare/Childcare Centre
A mother is supposed to take care of her baby and forsake everything else for the sake of her baby. Although that's an ideal scenario, it isn't feasible as most nuclear families have working parents. In such a situation, it becomes difficult to stay at home and take care of the child, and the only option that parents are left with is to send their child to daycare. However, if you are sceptical about sending your kid to a daycare centre, here’s what you should consider:
It is a safe, and structured environment where the staff is equipped to take care of the needs of babies and older kids.
It is a great place for your growing kid to develop better social, language and other skills.
Your child will interact and indulge in activities with children from his age-group, thus helping him become better prepared for formal education.
Your child will become more independent and may experience less separation anxiety as he gets habituated to being away from parents from a young age.
Things To Remember While Choosing a Care Centre for Your Child
Some people believe that daycare centres are best suited for toddlers and older children, while others feel that it's best to leave a child in family daycare. Whatever your decision might be, it's important to keep in mind a few things before choosing a daycare centre as per the age of your child:
Babies - 1 - 12 Months
If you are wondering at what age an infant should be considered for day-care, let us clear your doubts. Infants or babies need special one-to-one care from a single caregiver, preferably at home itself. However, there are many daycare centres that offer more personalised facilities for younger babies or infants. Babies need a safe and clean environment because this is the time when they start experiencing the environment around them. It's important to carefully choose and select a daycare centre because babies take time to adjust and develop attachment. Changing centres may not be advisable for young babies.
Toddlers - 1 - 2 Years
Requirements of a daycare centre for toddlers is more or less similar to that of babies. Toddlers are little explorers, and they need to be around someone who lets them be themselves and understands them well. People taking care of toddlers must have oodles of patience and energy. Childcare centres which have a low carer to children ratio work best. One of the best things about sending your child to daycare is that he gets to interact and socialise with same age-group children, which he may miss out on at home.
Preschoolers - 3 - 5 years
Children of this age group are learners and pick up language, social and other skills real fast. So, if you are looking for a daycare centre for your 3-5-year-old kiddo, it should be a place where he not only feels safe and comfortable but also gets to brush up or acquire new skills. Opt for a place that offers an array of activities for your kid.
Every parent has different requirements as far as sending their child to a daycare is concerned. Take into consideration some of the recommendations we've shared in this article and make the right decision for your child.
Also Read:
Pros and Cons of Daycare Centre for KidsChild Care by Relative: Is It Good or BadHow to Make Sure Your Child Gets Adequate Nutrition in Day Care
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Winter Diarrhoea - A Common Problem during Winter and our Experience
Its January and winter is at its peak. Winters are the most difficult time for babies. Baby care during winters is challenging. It's the time when your baby may catch infections or may just suffer due to temperature extremities. Winter diarrhoea is one common problem babies may face during winters.
Our Experience
A few days ago, we went out early morning with our five-month-old. We came back 5 hours later and the baby started passing greenish loose stools. First, she did it three times. The frequency increased to 10-12 times from next day. The baby was otherwise fine and well fed. We consulted our paediatrician and he diagnosed it to be winter diarrhoea. He suggested a probiotic for 5 days, a zinc solution for 14 days and ORS. He further suggested keeping the baby hydrated. It took her 10 days to get well.
Is It Serious?
Winter diarrhoea is not a life-threatening condition but still very uncomfortable for babies. So, the following conditions should not be ignored:
If the baby is not active enough
If the baby is not passing urine (at least 6 times a day)
If the stool is too smelly or has blood in it
If the baby is not taking feed properly
If you observe any of the above symptoms, do consult your paediatrician as soon as possible.
What We Learnt from the Experience
The most important thing in winters is to keep your baby hydrated.
Keep your baby warm enough and cover their palms with gloves or mittens while going outside, as babies take their fingers in their mouth which can cause infection.
Allow your baby to rest well.
Postpone any scheduled vaccination when your baby is not well.
Do not ignore any symptom which is not normal for your baby as every baby is different.
Happy winters
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Baby Kick Counter: How to Count kicks
So how do you actually go about it? Well, for starters, pick a time of the day when your baby is most active. Then, make sure you count your baby’s kicks at the same time, every single day. When you start counting, do so for an hour, so you have a ‘rate’ going (say, 10 -15 kicks per hour). Finally, make sure your baby maintains the average. Read more
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A. It depends on moms and babys health I feel and suggest It's better to check with your doctor and follow their advise. That would be one of the best and safest option for your baby as of now. Take care.
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