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When Parents Hurt Their Children
Your child is the apple of your eye and you would do everything in the world to keep him safe. But sometimes, a situation can get a little out of control and your ability to make rational decisions disappears in the heat of the moment. Since you are certain to feel guilty later, it helps if you understand and deal with it before you end up making a horrifying parenting mistake!
Any parent is sure to hit the roof if he finds that someone hit their child. It could be a teacher or a playground bully; whoever it is, they are sure to be on the receiving end of the parent’s wrath. So what changes when it is the parent itself who becomes the abuser?
Why do Parents Hurt their Children?
Most parents are part of a peace-loving population, who don’t believe in violence for violence’s sake. But everyone has their own personal ‘tipping point’ for anger, beyond which logic loses and rage wins. Add to it any kind of stress – job insecurity, financial woes, broken marriage or just a bad day – and things can easily spiral out of control.
In India, where ‘culture’ is given haloed status, the established tradition of disciplining children is true to the phrase ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’. Most people agree that a well-deserved spank now and then doesn’t hurt, and it is even necessary in some cases. Sometimes, the tendency to harm children can be deep-rooted in the parent’s own childhood. Adults who were abused as children often find it hard to break the pattern even when they realize that it is a destructive habit.
Why is this Dangerous?
While one might argue that a mild spank or a little slap or knock is no big deal, the problem is that it is a very slippery slope to chronic child abuse. What is considered commonplace in most South East Asian nations is viewed as abuse in many other countries to the point that the child can be separated from her parents and put in a foster home. There have been innumerable cases where a parent’s rage got the better of him and a routine spanking turned into a fractured arm or broken ribs.
Even if there aren’t any physical injuries, the emotional after-effects are deep-rooted and just as damaging, if not more. If you try to remember a situation in your own childhood when you were hit by a parent or teacher, the memory is quite likely to be tinged with a good deal of sadness, humiliation and feelings of helplessness. A child that is hurt today will grow up with similar feelings that will stay with her throughout her life.
Other than personal trauma, spanking a child as punishment actually sets the stage for more violence later. You are teaching your child that violence is an acceptable method for resolving conflicts, especially when the other person is weaker than you.
How can Parents Deal with such a Situation?
First of all, you need to realize that just because your child is physically weaker than you and is dependent on you for all her needs, it isn’t okay to hit her whenever you think it’s necessary. Tend to anger easily, repeat this to yourself every day, so that it gets ingrained into your psyche. Here are some more tips for parents who hurt their children:
Whenever you feel the urge to hit, just stop and walk away. Walk away from your child or the mess or whatever it is that’s aggravating you.
Sit in another room for a while and take deep breaths, blowing the air out through your mouth. This helps to soothe your nerves and calm you down. Count to ten and backwards if necessary.
Establish a rule of ‘0% tolerance for violence’ in your home, and make it applicable for every single member of the family. So it’s not just parents, but even siblings can’t hit each other.
Most situations like these arise due to a disturbed mind and a body that is not well-rested. Ensure that a proper routine is followed throughout the day for parents and children, with enough time for sleep, exercise and healthy meals.
If you still feel that you can’t help lashing out at your children, then you might have a problem that requires professional help. Don’t feel ashamed about seeking therapy; you should be proud that you’ve taken the next step to a more loving family life.
We live in a world that is flooded with stories of all kinds of violence. From individual crimes to genocides, there is no dearth of horror stories that make us wonder about the legacy we’re leaving our children. Let’s make it better by starting with ourselves – maintaining a household where everyone loves and respects each other is a sure way to help our children realize the dream of peace everywhere. Read more
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Life Insurance - Importance and Types
Getting life insurance is one of the best financial decisions a person could make, but only ten percent of Indians know the significance of getting life insurance. If the members of a family are financially dependent on one person of the family, their ability to pay debts, manage household expenses, and maintain a standard of living can get affected in case of unfortunate demise of the insured person, which is why taking life insurance becomes important. Life insurance can secure the financial future of the insured's family.
What is Life Insurance?
Life insurance is a contract between an insurance policy holder and the insurance provider (known as the insurer) that guarantees to pay the designated amount to the beneficiary in case of the death of the insured person. In exchange for premium payments, the beneficiary named in the contract will receive a sum from the insurer in case of sudden demise of the policyholder.
Reasons Why Life Insurance Is Important
Most people are unaware of the importance of life insurance. Here are some reasons why you must consider taking life insurance -
1. It Can Help You Deal with Debts
In case of a crisis, you would not want your family to deal with financial problems. If you buy the right life insurance policy, then any outstanding debts like a car loan, home loan, and other personal loans will be taken care of.
2. Your Family Will Be Taken Care Of
Nobody wants their family to face any financial problem if something were to happen to them. If something were to happen to you, you wouldn't want to let your family depend on someone else. Whether it is paying for the education of your child or making sure your spouse is financially secure, life insurance can secure your family's financial future.
3. Life Insurance Can Supplement Your Retirement Goals
We all want our retirement savings to last, don't we? And they will if you invest in a good insurance plan. With the right life insurance plan, you can get a regular stream of money every month. This idea is like a pension plan - you can get a steady income every month after your retirement.
4. It Can Help You Achieve Your Long Term Goals
Taking a life insurance policy is a long-term investment, which can help you achieve long-term goals. You can buy a house or plan your retirement. Before buying any policy, consider your options. Select the one you think would help you meet your long term goals.
5. It Can Save Your Business
Life insurance can not only protect your family, but also your business. There are some policies that can take care of your business. If you have a business of your own, and unfortunately something happens to you, then your portion of the business can be purchased by your partner. These business partners will enter a buy-sell agreement. Here, the payout will go to your nominees; however, they won't be given a stake in the company.
6. It Is Good for Tax Benefits
Irrespective of what plan you buy, you could save taxes with insurance policies. As per Section 80C of the Income Tax Act, 1961, the premium paid for life insurance policies is qualified for deduction, up to a maximum of Rs. 1.5 lakh a year. Also, the maturity/death benefit is tax-free as per Section 10 (10D) of the Income Tax Act.
7. You Might Not be Qualified for it Later
Life insurance policies always run on uncertainties. You may be healthy now and paying for life insurance may seem like an added financial burden. But if something happens to you all of sudden and on getting better, you'd realise that you should take a life insurance policy; however, at that time, you may not be allowed to buy a policy. This is why it is best to buy one policy as early as you can because it will still remain in force even if you start having health problems.
8. A Tool for Forced Savings
If you choose a traditional or unit-linked policy, the premium you will pay every month will be higher than the cost that is required to insure you. This extra money that you pay gets invested. You can choose to sell or draw income from it or borrow the cash against the policy.
Types of Life Insurance Policies in India
There are six types of life insurance policies.
1. Term Life Insurance
Term life insurance policy can be purchased only for a fixed period of time like 10 or 20 years. It is a type of life insurance that provides death benefits to the beneficiaries if the insured person dies during a specific time. A term life insurance policy does not offer any maturity benefits as it does not have any cash value but it is the most affordable type of life insurance policies.
2. Endowment Policy
The only difference between this policy and the term insurance policy is that this policy comes with an extra benefit. The policyholder will receive an amount in lump sum if nothing happens to him until the date of maturity. If the insured person dies during the term of the policy, the nominee will receive the assured sum.
3. Unit-linked Insurance Plan
In addition to life security, this plan allows the policyholder to build wealth. As per this plan, the premium paid is divided and invested in debt funds and equity - one for building wealth and the other for life insurance.
4. Money Back Policy
In a money back policy, the insured person receives a stipulated sum during the policy tenure. By taking this policy, you will receive a percentage of the assured sum at regular intervals. And if you live beyond the policy term, you will be eligible for the remaining amount plus bonus at the end of the policy period.
5. Whole Life Policy
This policy provides coverage to the insured person throughout his lifetime, unlike all the other policies which expire after their term. The policy also provides a survival benefit to the policyholder. This policy allows the policyholder to partially withdraw the sum insured.
6. Annuity/Pension Plan
In this policy, the amount collected is accumulated as assets, which is distributed to the policyholder in a lump sum or in the form of annuity depending on the instructions of the insured.
Filing for a Death Claim Under a Life Insurance Policy
Find out how you can make a life insurance death claim.
The beneficiary must send a claim intimation form to the insurance company.
The claim intimation form should contain details like place, date, and cause of death of the insured person.
When you submit the form, the insurance company will ask for additional information like the certificate of death, a copy of insurance policy, deeds of assignment, and legal evidence of title in case the insured did not appoint a beneficiary.
Once all the necessary documents are submitted, the insurance company verify the claim and settle it.
What Are the Major Insurance Principles Applied in India?
Life insurance operates on some basic principles that are common for many individuals. These principles are mentioned below:
1. The Principle of Insurable Interest
This principle is related to a level of interest the person is expected to have in that certain policy. Based on this level, the company chooses to reject or accept the application to avoid the misuse of policy.
2. The Principle of Good Faith
As per this principle both the parties should have faith in each other. You must disclose all the relevant information to the insurance company. The insurance company must also explain all the aspects of the policy and make sure there are no hidden clauses.
3. Nature of Contract
A fundamental principle of an insurance contract is the nature of a contract. This contract comes into existence when a party accepts the offer or proposal of a contract made by the other party. It must be a valid contract and the person should enter with his free consent.
4. Law of Large Numbers
This theory makes sure you have minimum losses and long-term stability in the long run when a large amount of money is involved.
5. Risks and Minimal Losses
This principle states that the individual is expected to take certain actions to limit any hazards. This includes a healthy lifestyle, going for a regular check-up, etc.
6. Principle of Contribution
When more than one policy is taken to cover the same risk, it is known as double insurance. As per this principle, all the insurers contribute the actual amount of losses as per the amount assured by each of them. When the insurer’s financial position is doubtful, the double insurance policy is adopted.
7. Principle of Subrogation
This principle allows the insured to claim the amount from the party who is responsible for the loss. The insurer can take legal actions to recover his loss. For example, due to reckless driving of the third party, if you get injured then the insurance company will sue the third party to recover the money and will also compensate for your loss.
Important Points to Consider While Buying a Life Insurance Policy
Here are some points you should consider when planning to get life insurance.
1. Research
There are so many policies to choose from. It is best that you research before coming to a conclusion as it might help you save some money and receive maximum benefits.
2. Read the Terms and Conditions
Read the terms and conditions of the policy. The contract will contain all the relevant information regarding the policy. Ensure that you read it in detail and completely understand it.
3. Remember the Lock-in Period
Some insurance companies offer a lock-in time frame where the policyholder can return that policy and buy another one. This is for a short time, usually 15 days, so if you are not convinced the policy you purchased, you can return it in that time.
4. Consider Premium Payment Options
It is essential that you go for electronic check system payment. Through this, the premium amount will be debited from your account periodically and will save you time.
5. Do Not Mask Information
Whenever you decide to buy a life insurance policy, present your medical records and personal credentials to the company. Disclose all the relevant information to the insurance company.
The advantages of buying a life insurance policy are many. We can never predict what our tomorrow will be like, but we can always be prepared for any unforeseen situation. Life insurance is a financial cushion that can protect your family in bad times. So, give it a good thought and buy a life insurance policy soon.
Also Read:
Proven Ways to Save Money
Easy & Quick Money Saving Hacks
Benefits of Investing in Real Estate Read more
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5 Gadgets and Apps to Ensure your Child's Safety
Today, there are several smart devices and apps designed to ensure kids' safety. Using these child safety gadgets and apps, you can keep a check on your kids and protect them even when you're away!
No one cares for your children as much as you do. You want them to be safe and secure at all times, and you do your best to ensure the same. However, you can’t be around them 24x7 and that’s when you fret the most. Fortunately, you can alleviate your worry a bit with some tech help.
Gadgets and Apps to Keep Kids Safe
1. Video Monitoring System
Since you can’t be with your child all the time, the next best thing is to take the help of a handy gadget to act as a small tracking device for children. Keep a check on your child when you’re busy in the kitchen or catching up on other work by using a video monitoring system. Install an HD Wi-Fi camera in your child’s room and watch him on your smartphone. Many systems give alerts as soon as there’s movement in the room.
2. Vocal Smoke Alarm
This device may not be a children’s tracker app or a fancy phone, but it allows you to record your voice to tell him to wake up and run in case there’s an emergency. This can help as it’s been observed that there’s hardly any kid who wakes up hearing a pre-recorded smoke alarm tone. However, children respond to their mother’s voice really well!
3. Baby Car Seat
This is one child safety creation that’s convenient to use especially when driving. Pick a model that fits well in your car. You can also go for a convertible car seat that can be adjusted as your child grows. Fasten it properly and make sure your baby is tucked in before you make a move.
4. Parental Monitoring Software
Kids these days are growing smart, and you need to catch up with them using apps for tracking your child. There’s every chance your toddler will show an interest in your smartphone and laptop, while your pre-schooler probably uses it to play games and watch videos. While they shouldn’t be refrained from using it, you must ensure that the child tracking app monitors their usage.
5. Child Locator App
A child locator app on your smartphone can keep track of children’s whereabouts by providing real-time information. With the use of child safety GPS, you get features such as critical alerts, voice surveillance and instant communication via messages.
If you still haven’t bought these devices and apps, it is time to go for them to ensure your child’s safety. Whether it’s a smartphone that boasts of a terrific app, or a time-tested gadget, they can increase protection for your little ones. Breathe easy! Read more
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Ladybug Appetizers
It is amazing how some simple ingredients when put together can transform a drab dish into a good looking one. These ladybug appetizers fall in that category. The salted biscuits and the mint spread complement each other well. Cherry tomato halves forms the body of these bugs while we have used grapes for the head. Kids will be delighted to have these to snack on.
Serves
Preparation Time
Cooking Time
2 People
10-15 Minutes
0 Minutes
Ingredients
10 monaco Biscuits
5 cherry tomatoes, cut in half
5 black grapes, cut in half
1 tsp dark chocolate, melted
For the Yogurt-mint Spread
¼ cup hung yogurt
1 tbsp mint puree
1 tsp ginger-chili paste
Salt and pepper to taste
½ tsp powdered sugar
Method
Step 1
Mix all the ingredients listed for the spread. Season it as per taste. Set aside.
Step 2
Make a slit in the middle of the cherry tomato halves. Dot them with melted chocolate using a toothpick.
Step 3
Now, line the biscuits in a serving plate. Spread little yogurt-mint spread over each of them. Next, place the dotted cherry tomato halves for the body of the ladybug.
Step 4
Place the black grapes for the head of the ladybug.
Step 5
Serve immediately.
Nutritional Information
Calories
159 K cal
Proteins
3.9 g
Fats
6.1 g
Carbohydrates
21.4 g
Cholesterol
3 mg
Sodium
299 mg
Potassium
134 mg
Tip: You can use white chocolate to design the eyes of the ladybug. Also, you can use any other spread of your choice. Read more
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6 Things Kids Wish Their Parents (and Teachers) Knew about Maths
Maths – just hearing the word can bring back a sense of fear and a tinge of sadness in some of us. It’s extremely important for parents that their kids do well in academics, given that the competition is intense these days. This pressure, however, is only limited to subjects like Science and Maths, owing to the assumption that these subjects hold more weight in the real world and bring more money in the long run. In the midst of the chaos of making their kid an all-rounder, parents forget that their kid might have her own set of favourite and not-so-favourite subjects.
Maths is considered to be one of the ‘scary’ subjects around, and kids who have been bad at it can vouch for that – the fear of numbers and concepts of BODMAS, quadratic equations and trigonometry would spin their heads around, and this fear hasn’t gotten out of them years later.
Here are some things kids wish their parents (and teachers) knew about their relationship with Maths:
1. Every Kid Learns at a Different Pace
Some kids might be extremely bright at grasping the numerous concepts in Maths, but some kids don't understand as quickly - and that's okay. Being a slow learner, especially when it comes to subjects like Maths does not in any way indicate the kid's lack of intelligence. It is unfair to pit one kid against the other based on this occurrence.
2. If Your Kid Finds It Hard to Understand Maths After Repeated Attempts, Change Your Teaching Method
Concepts in Maths and Science are not easy, plain and simple. It also does not help that textbooks use fancy, academic language to explain concepts that go over the kid's head, especially when the teacher who teaches them doesn’t do the best job at it either. A humble piece of advice - if even after repeated attempts your kid doesn't understand how to solve the sum, try explaining the concept from scratch using a different method. Try to explain the reasoning behind the steps and see if your kid understands better.
3. Kids Who Don’t Like Maths Are Ridiculed More Than Kids Who Don’t Like Subjects Like History
It's true, and it's unfair. This comes from the assumption that subjects like Maths are important to get ahead in life because Maths means more money - conversely, subjects like History and Sociology aren't important because they are 'social' subjects that won't make money. No matter how great your kid might be at the subjects mentioned above, there is a chance that she will not be considered as smart as the kids in her class who bring more marks in Maths. It's important to understand that studying subjects like History and Sociology is equally important, because these subjects are a direct reflection of how society functions. In order to be a part of this society and to make good, sound and progressive decisions, one must know and learn from past victories and failures. Current events are directly and indirectly related to our past, and we need to know it in order to understand our present - this is how you raise a socially conscious kid.
4. Looking at Bad Maths Results Makes Kids Feel Terrible Too
No kid wants to feel left out or treated differently because they didn't score well in one subject she probably didn't like. A lot of kids who are bad at Maths experience mild discrimination by teachers, especially while reading out their marks or handing out their papers - teachers will shake their heads as they look at the kid, make snarky comments on the kid's intelligence, and sometimes even openly insult them in front of other students. Before the report card reaches parents, the kids have already felt a blow which subconsciously seeps into them as they grow older, and their fear of the subject gets worse. Instead of yelling at your kid for getting a low score, talk to her about why she feels she can't do well in it. Perhaps you will discover her other struggles and skills instead!
5. Help Your Kid Enhance Other Skills Instead of Just Focusing on Their Weak Maths
Kids are super malleable at a young age - they can grasp more activities and learn more things. This is the age to encourage your kid to try out different activities - swimming, dancing, painting, elocution, and music. Of course, it's important to work on her weak subjects, Maths included - but make sure to never make her feel like getting better at Maths is the only way she can be successful; it's just one of the ways in which she can. It's important to enhance your kid's passion for something.
6. Your Kid Will Do Well in Life Even If Her Maths Scores Aren’t As Great As the Other Kids
That's why your kid is learning a number of subjects and not just Maths. Your kid will find her way in the world despite being weak in Maths, because every kid has a quality at their disposal - good calculations, good grammar, good reasoning skills, or even an emotional side that might one day make her a famous poet or a filmmaker. The key is to push your child to do her best no matter what she's good at. That way, maybe her aversion to Maths could also reverse - who knows!
Maths is known to be a subject that isn’t every kid’s favourite – the numbers, the crunching, the solving and the cramming can really scare them off. However, not being good at Maths isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be, and the best way to take the fear out of your kid would be to talk to her and understand her point of view.
Also Read:
Best Speed Math Apps for Children
Maths Tricks for Kids to Improve Calculation Skills
Hands-On Math Activities for Preschoolers
Tricky Maths Puzzles for Kids with Answers Read more
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My Myth: Me and Depression- No Way, I Am Such a Positive Person!
We had been planning to start our family for a few months, and after many negatives (urine pregnancy tests) I was overwhelmed to find a positive one. I couldn’t believe my eyes so did another test, and it was positive too. It was the best day for me.
Then came the hard part. Morning sickness, no, it was 24-hour sickness and vomiting. They said it should go away after the first trimester, but it was my companion in all the nine months. In the later months, it was accompanied by a migraine which could only be relieved by vomiting. From being a happy, friendly and fun loving woman, I stopped my job and preferred staying at home all day. Even car rides made me vomit. Not only, did I not like going out but I did not like people coming home to meet
me too. I wanted to stay alone. And everyone said why you are depressed; it was a planned pregnancy. Yes, I wanted it. But my dear family and friends, though it was very much what I wanted and I was happy to conceive I was still under pregnancy depression. It is then I realised that depression is not with what you have and what desires are fulfilled, but it is to do with hormones in the body. The day I delivered my baby, I was back to my old self with a bang. Thankfully postpartum depression did not get to me but trust me that is very common too. I openly discuss with family and friends as when I was in distress and realised that many of my friends were in the same phase but never disclosed to anyone as they knew they would not
be understood. The most common response is that " oh! She has everything in life then why is she depressed. We are struggling but still happy."
We need to understand depression is not about having things in life. It is a medical disorder, and it needs family and friends support and doctors help. I am a doctor, but it took my depression to realise this. Be supportive friends.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
ZIAULHAQ ABDUL KHADAR has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
8 hours ago
Q. how to gain weight 32weeks
ZIAULHAQ ABDUL KHADAR
Father of a 7 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. Have good amount of Proteins food
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 3 months
11 mins ago
Q. #asktheexpert Reason behind pelvic pain during 6th month of pregnancy?
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
10 mins ago
A. see. cc if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Father of a Newborn child
9 mins ago
Q. How to improve vitamin B12 and D vitamin
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
9 mins ago
A. Regarding this query, a proper guidance is required for which you can talk to your doctor and he will guide you in a correct manner for this Online Consultation can also be taken here hwhere the expert will advise you in a proper way
Dr Disha Patel has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
9 mins ago
Q. #asktheexpert Can Parachute normal coconut oil be used for baby massage or it must be cold pressed virgin?
Dr Disha Patel
Ayurvedic Physician
4 mins ago
A. yes can use it.. no problem.
during summer use coconut oil to massage ur baby.
if has cooling effect on skin..
all the very bes t. .
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
4 mins ago
Q. #asktheexpert water is comming from the eye of my child
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
3 mins ago
A. Could probably be due to some meditation so please get it evaluated with your pediatrics you haven’t told me what is the age of your child and all the other details so best to check with your doctor for that they will give you guidance on this
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 mins ago
Q. #asktheexpert
Is 3.1kg baby at 36 weeks okay?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
2 mins ago
A. It is a very healthy weight in your child is 3 kg already so I would suggest you to have more of veg and non-veg protein whatever you prefer so that the child gain more weight 3 KG is a very good standard Vedane where we actually say that the child is gaining well
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