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The Postpartum Struggle is Real - Here's How You Can Deal With It
I am a dreamer, well not the 'dream it & achieve it' kind of a person, but a daydreamer! Mostly, I look at the world through rosy glasses - all thanks to the mushy movies & stories I grew up watching and reading.
When I was pregnant, I was all prepared for a happy ending of my pregnancy and a joyous start to motherhood, just like I had watched in movies. All I could think during that time was this - "I will deliver the baby; the baby will be given to me in my arms and I will fall in love with her the minute I see her." And so our lovely journey would start. But none of this happened!
Yes, I delivered the baby. But my labour was not just about sweating, but also about swearing and promising myself to never ever go through this again. I visualised myself dying. I was unhappy that my didn't progress naturally and then I saw my baby after 3 hours of giving him birth. I didn't have the energy to hold him and when I did see him - I didn't have the feeling of love for him - I didn't have that feeling for the next three days.
The initial journey was far from what people call joyous. I was crying every single day. My body was in terrible pain; I was always tired and my baby was constantly crying. I couldn't keep my eyes open and my baby wouldn't let me sleep. People who visited me and their constant talks only doubled my agony.
This is pretty much the summary of my postpartum days.
When I had to take my baby for a checkup on the 7th day after his birth, I remember looking at myself in the mirror. I couldn't recognise myself. I looked like the most unkempt person I have ever known - my attire was a complete mismatch & I saw hollow eyes staring back at me. Even my doctor empathetically suggested that I should get some rest.
Today, I am a lot wiser and happier person. And most important, I am also in love with my baby. Do you want to know how this change came in me? Following are some pearls of wisdom from my diary. If you feel sad or are in pain post delivery, read this.
1. Have Zero Expectations About Labour
Just like everything else in life, expectations about your labour can be the mother of all problems. Have a plan, but do not expect it to work. Trust your doctor and go with the flow.
2. Surround Yourself with Your Loved Ones
No, I am not suggesting to you surround yourself with nosy relatives & annoying friends. You need to be with mature and easy going people. Be with someone, who can be your support system in the initial days of pregnancy.
3. Express What You Feel
Talk to your partner about how you feel. Do not bottle up your emotions - let it out! Cry if you need to, ask for help if it gets overwhelming for you, or see a doctor if it does not get better. Do what feels right but do not say you are fine if you are not.
4. Take Enough Rest
I know it is easier said than done, but it's not impossible. If it means turning down on the guests, do it. Our ancestors rightly set aside 45 days for the new mother and the baby because they knew that a new mother needs that much time to heal. So listen to them!
5. Do Not Be Alone
This is not the time to show your superhuman skill. Get help! Make sure that you have someone to help you out. Someone who you can be with when you feel lonely.
6. Get Some Fresh Air
You can sit in your balcony, go out for a stroll, meet a friend for a quick coffee, or do anything else that works for you and your baby. This will ensure that you don't end up getting frustrated.
7. Remember That You Will Take Some Time to Bond With Your Baby
If you are a first-time mum, don't expect to fall in love with your baby at first sight. You may even wonder why you did this to yourself. But hang in there as it will get better with time. In the meanwhile, talk to your baby, nourish your baby, and take care of yourself. And if it gets too much to manage, hand over your baby to someone in your family and take a break.
Here's a Note for Husbands -
Once you have a baby, your life will change completely and you know that your wife has done most of the work here. So be as kind, supportive, and loving as you can be. If you were a doting husband during her pregnancy, you need to be the knight in shining armour after her pregnancy. Trust me, you can make her or break her at this point. Shoulder all the responsibilities when you can and when you can't, make her some soup or something else she likes. Don't forget to be partners now that you are parents.
From pregnancy to delivery to parenthood, it's an amazing journey and trust me, time flies! So be strong, be healthy, and stay happy. No matter what the situation, remember 'This too shall pass'.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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How Safe is Foetal (Selective) Reduction?
Most people opt for fertility treatments when they are struggling to get pregnant. But where they are expecting one baby, cases arise when a pregnancy might include twins, triplets, or even more babies. Carrying them ahead healthily may not be always possible and undergoing a pregnancy reduction might be a decision you would have to make.
What is Multifetal Reduction?
A multifetal reduction is a surgical procedure. It is used to reduce the number of foetuses held by a pregnant woman so that the resultant number of foetuses can be carried forward and successfully delivered. It is also termed as selective pregnancy reduction in some cases.
Why Foetal Reduction is Done?
If getting pregnant is a difficult task in itself, keeping that pregnancy healthy and having an uncomplicated delivery is even more difficult. These become tough with every foetus that grows within the uterus. Risks of babies being stillborn or miscarriage increase rapidly when pregnant with multiples. Some babies may not develop correctly or have birth-related defects. Therefore, a foetal reduction helps keep these risks to a minimum level.
Benefits of Multifoetal Pregnancy Reduction
There is a strong reason why mothers carrying multiple foetuses think about undergoing a multifetal pregnancy reduction. The benefits that stem as a result of it are not just beneficial for the other children growing in the mother’s womb, but is also a good way to ensure a great future for the ones that continue ahead in life.
1. Reduced Child Cost
The expenses incurred in taking care of multiple children is not something that is possible for every family. With all children being at the same age, they can quickly shake your financial stability. MFPR can help you keep the costs in a range that works for you.
2. Reduced Mental Stress
While financial problems might be one variable of the equation, taking care of multiple children right after birth is a task difficult, for superheroes too. It can quickly get overwhelming for first-time mothers. Sticking to no more than a couple of babies can help you keep your own mental health and physical health in optimal condition to care for the children.
3. Reduced Pregnancy Problems
Every additional foetus that grows within your body does not only increase the size of your uterus and tummy, but stresses your body further in a bid to share resources. Each child taps into the body for resources and has a significant impact on other areas as well. These further increase chances of anaemia, preeclampsia, or diabetes to set in during pregnancy.
4. Reduced Pregnancy Risks
While most mothers can deal with pregnancy problems through the journey until delivery, most of the major risks usually emerge at that point itself. The chances of undergoing a premature delivery, a miscarriage or development of birth defects is extremely high when pregnant with multiple foetuses.
Risks Associated With MFPR
While multifetal pregnancy reduction has numerous benefits that are good for the mother and the children that will be given birth to, it is not free from foetal reduction risks that might manifest as a result of the procedure itself.
1. Emotional Toll
Some parents develop a very strong connection with their foetuses pretty early in life. Seeing them in ultrasounds and naming them right away can create a strong bond of parenthood with those. Therefore, undergoing an MFPR can set in a feeling of guilt or sadness of having rejected their own children. Extreme cases can cause depression to manifest within the mother too, which isn’t good for the remaining babies.
2. The Possibility of An Infection
The MFPR procedure requires external items to come in contact with the tummy or the uterus, in order to successfully reduce the number of foetuses held within. As minor as it might be, there is a minuscule probability of an external infection finding its way inside. The incidents are quite rare, but if an infection does take place, then it can put the remaining foetuses at a risk.
3. A Miscarriage of the Complete Pregnancy
Any disturbance to the existing condition of the foetus always opens up the risk factor of miscarriage. In most cases, if the number of the foetus are few, generally around 3 or 4, the chances of miscarriage are minimal, usually around 4% or so. However, as the number of existing foetuses starts increasing, reaching 6 or more, the risks associated with miscarriage are quite high. Therefore, a decision of proceeding ahead with MFPR might need to be taken intelligently.
Precautions to Take Before Multifetal Reduction Process
A pregnancy that consists of multiple foetuses usually occurs after undergoing a fertility treatment, involving drugs that put the body in the optimum state for pregnancy. Having made this effort, it might be difficult for you to come to terms with reducing the number of foetuses, as well as opening up to the risk of a miscarriage of the remaining ones as well. While most fertility clinics do provide this information beforehand, understanding the repercussions of the decision is extremely necessary.
Foetal Reduction Procedure
When opting for a multifetal pregnancy reduction procedure, the timing needs to be appropriate as well. The apt time for carrying out the procedure is within the first trimester. The foetuses are at the initial stage of their growth around this time and are usually located within separated pouches filled with amniotic fluid. They are yet to share the uterus together.
Doctors may make use of a probe to carry out an ultrasound. This technique helps to get a detailed understanding of the foetuses within the uterus, as compared to the normal ultrasound. The probe helps provide a correct positioning of the foetuses within the uterus. Using that as a map, a medical process is initiated to calmly reduce the foetuses individually. This makes use of a medicine that is intended to stop the heartbeat of that particular foetus. The correct foetus is determined, with the help of a needle that is inserted through the stomach or the vagina and the medicine is injected into the foetus’s pouch.
Another alternative is to remove the blood flow received by the foetus from the umbilical cord. Here, your doctor might use the radiofrequency ablation technique, that makes use of electric currents instead of medicine via the needle.
The number of foetuses to be reduced in a single session depends on your health, the total number of foetuses, and the doctor’s recommendation. Your doctor might give you a general anaesthesia throughout the procedure to keep you away from the process, even though it might be over in some minutes.
What to Expect After Selective Reduction
Once the procedure is completed, you would be asked to stay in the hospital for about 12-24 hours under observation. The remaining foetuses would be observed via ultrasound regularly. A small counselling session might be conducted to gauge your mental well-being.
FAQs
Here are a few questions that are generally on the mind of many women looking to undergo selective pregnancy reduction.
1. Is Foetal Reduction Procedure Painful?
Some doctors do give general anaesthesia during the procedure while others may use only local anaesthesia. In either case, the procedure does not cause much physical pain and is completed within a few minutes.
2. How Much Does Selective Reduction Cost?
The expenses for the procedure differ from hospital to hospital, depending on the number of foetuses and the complexity. At times, your fertility clinics might include the cost in their package as an optional one.
Reducing your existing foetuses is a tricky procedure for the body, but it also affects your emotions. Discuss with your partner before making a decision, and know it is for your best and the benefit of the remaining babies.
Also Read: Multiple Pregnancy - Getting Pregnant with Twins or Triplets Read more
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Your Baby This Week : 13 Month Week 3 Old
If your child is constantly repeating his favorite words or using baby talk, he is eager to communicate with you! Apart from full words, your baby will express himself through sounds, babbling, mimicking, and body gestures. You may also want to try and teach him a few hand or face gestures to help him get his point across, For eg: Shake his head to say no, wave his hands to say hello or goodbye!
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Running Skills in a 24 Months Old
Running is a wonderful exercise for everyone. Running is a developmental milestone in toddlers too and it helps strengthen their muscles and bones, and leads to better health in adulthood. If your child is not yet running, there are a few things you can do to encourage it.
Once your little one starts walking, it won’t be long before she moves onto more advanced skills like running, jumping and hopping. These activities require coordination and your child will need a lot of encouragement to master them. Find out how you can help your child develop her running skills.
Tips for Helping a 24-month-old Toddler to Run
1. Clear Space at Home
You have a frisky, curious toddler at home who’s reaching new milestones almost every month. Growing children need space, so clear some in your home for your child to jump, dance, fall, bounce, tumble and run short distances, all without getting hurt. In particular, clear the space around sharp-edged tables and chairs.
2. Go out
Children love open spaces. When a toddler first learns to walk, there are times she will keep walking without pausing. Take yours to a park with a wide open space, free of obstructions. Give her the freedom to move and explore her surroundings. Show her slides and swings and let her watch other children run and play. Don’t push her to run, however; she’ll do it when she’s ready. ||
3. Use Toys and Playthings
Take a few toys with you when you take your toddler to the playground. There’s hardly any child who doesn’t love a ball! Roll it and encourage her to run behind it and bring it back. She may stumble and fall but when toddlers start running, it’s all part of learning the skill. You can get push toys such as a wagon or a toy pram too and let her push them. Gently encourage her to go faster.
4. Catch Me If You Can
Instead of chasing a ball, ask your toddler to catch you. A game of tag is a terrific form of encouragement to get her to run. Running with toddlers is a good cardio workout for mums too. If you have older children, organise short-distance races. There’s nothing like a bit of competition to get kids running! All children love bubbles as well, so you can blow them and encourage her to chase and pop them.
5. Set Limits
Whenever possible, explain safe and unsafe areas to your child such as where it’s okay for her to run and play, and the areas that are to be avoided. Teach her that running on the road is not safe but parks are meant for play and games. But as long as your child knows she’s protected and in a safe playing zone, she’ll be encouraged to try new things, including running.
Your child will pick up many different abilities before she starts running, like bouncing and walking backwards and sideways. With each new ability she picks up, her muscles get primed for running. It’s important that you keep encouraging your toddler to run and show her how much fun it can be. Once she starts, there’ll be no stopping her! Read more
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Tips For a Healthy Pregnancy
"Positive vibes only." This is the first thing everyone says once you are pregnant. Good thoughts give good vibes to the baby's development. But it's just not her inner thoughts, it's the environment as well.
Pregnancy is the most crucial period in a woman's life. Once a woman is pregnant, she gets to fly in her imagination— countless dreams, not just about her unborn child, but also about her nine months journey. We as women want to keep each moment memorable, especially when we are about to welcome a newborn. But is it possible in every house? Definitely not! It is really sad that sometimes our own family members don't care about special moments. Talking to the pregnant woman, caring for her, giving her healthy food is important during these nine months.
It is said that the baby can listen and understand her mother's feelings inside the womb. But during pregnancy, if the spouse is rude, and harasses the mother physically or mentally, these things can affect that unborn baby’s mental and physical development. It doesn't end there; once the baby is born, she may have a depressed state of mind till the end of her life.
Women also suffer from depression, during pregnancy and post-pregnancy, which can affect her long term. The depression can make her feel lonely and suicidal even after the baby is born. Hence its really important to take care of the mother during the nine months of pregnancy. It is important for the mother to be physically and mentally healthy as her well being has a direct impact on the unborn baby's health.
Here are some tips to have a healthy and peaceful pregnancy.
A healthy routine for sleeping and eating is very important during pregnancy.
Working out during your pregnancy can be really helpful, but make sure you get advice from your gynecologist about exercise.
The more you eat right and remain fit, you can avoid mood swings and crankiness.
Take supplements and vitamins that are recommended by your doctor.
Avoid caffeine, alcohol. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables. Consume more milk, stay hydrated with fresh liquids.
Stay away from thoughts, people, and environments that are negative.
Practice yoga and meditation if your doctor recommends it.
I hope these tips are helpful and I hope you have a healthy pregnancy.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
17 hours ago
Q. I got faint line all my pregnancy test and I missed my periods for 10 days but USG and TVs test confirm there is no pregnancy is there any chance that it is very early stage that's why it is not visible???? or TVs test is the last thing that can tell that really there is no pregnancy
Read moreRashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
17 hours ago
A. I think it would be advisable for you to get an ultrasound done with your doctor that’s going to give you a clarity because if there is a pregnancy it would be visible at least at least that sack is visible if it’s a regular pregnancy so it would be advisable to have a test with your doctor
Dr. Minal Acharya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
13 hours ago
Q. mere twins baby girl and boyhai one month 8 days old kya mai ghutti de sakte hun ya gripe water de sakte hun aur kab se start kar sakte hun
Dr. Minal Acharya
Nutritionist
13 hours ago
A. dear Mum, you should not give any sort of gripe water or ghutti to your baby. these are unhealthy and dangerous and can cause infection to your baby. so, these should be completely avoided.
Dr Vandan H Kumar has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
12 hours ago
Q. I am currently 32 week pregnant.I recently had growth scan.mu baby is in cephalic presentation. Does this change as I approach my due date. Also my EDD is July 25 and EDC is July 2. what is my expected due date. Also what is EDC?
Dr Vandan H Kumar
Paediatrician
12 hours ago
A. edc is expected date of delivery only.
that is 40 weeks
You will get more information for your query with your family doctor. You may meet your dr in person for proper guidance .
It is important to remain in contact with your doctor.
Swati Kar Samanta has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
12 hours ago
Q. why I am getting dizziness in my pregnancy
I am going with 3rd month of my pregnancy it's a very strong dizziness I feel at times means every day .....no other symptoms of pregnancy .Please help with elaboration .All okay means isn't part of this journey.
Read moreSwati Kar Samanta
Mom of a 2 m old girl
2 hours ago
A. Do consult your doctor as soon as you can. It's important to find the real reason because without that, proper medication is not possible.
Dr Priyanka Kalra has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
12 hours ago
Q. I am currently 32 week pregnant and had growth scan recently.My baby is in cephalic presentation.does this change after 36 week or does this remain the same?
Dr Priyanka Kalra
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist
5 hours ago
A. usually fixed. better to show to specialist always as they get the correct diagnosis. try to avoid self and extra medication that will only complicate this and create more damage to the child
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
3 hours ago
Q. it's my 5 month n I still didn't went for check up yet not even once is it okay if I go now or?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
3 hours ago
A. You should have started going from the very beginning itself once you get to know you’re pregnant but since you haven’t reached that now if you’re pregnancy has been healthy last five months please get it checked with your doctor also if you need to start with any supplements or diet the doctor would advise you after a ultrasound so please visit your gynaecologist
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