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Strong Willed Child - Parenting Tips and more
Every child is a unique individual and will have certain characteristics that are endearing and some that are not so welcome. Thus, some children are easy to parent while others give whole new meaning to the term ‘parenting’! Strong-willed children fall into the latter category and can leave you exhausted at the end of each day. But having a strong-willed child is not a bad thing; in fact, it is considered a positive trait.
What is a Strong-Willed Child?
Strong-willed children are often described as ‘difficult’ or ‘stubborn’. In fact, they are children who like to have some kind of control over their life. They do not think twice about bending or challenging the rules and tend to rebel if you try to control their actions in any way. When things do not happen the way they want, they are likely to get angry.
Characteristics of a Strong-Willed Child
There are certain characteristics that strong-willed children display and it is likely that you are aware of what these are since only parents know their child really well. If you are still not sure, see if your child has six or more of these traits.
1. Impatient or Fast
They want to do everything quickly and be done all at once. Impatience is their middle name and they hate waiting around for things to happen. Eating, talking, walking, everything must happen fast.
2. Bossy and Controlling
Giving orders comes easily to them and they expect these to be followed. They have a certain idea in mind about how things should be and will do everything possible to implement it. They will not hesitate to tell you what they expect you to do in order to make their vision a reality.
3. Want to Learn Things By Themselves
They prefer to learn by the trial and error method rather than follow instructions. They like to be given the choice to do something rather than be told.
4. Will Not Do Something They Don’t Want To
Simply telling your strong-willed child to do something will not get the task done. You will have to look for creative ways to get the message across.
5. Make Their Opinion Known
Your child will have to put their point of view across on every small matter. It can be the new recipe you have tried for dinner or the colour of their outfit.
6. Throw Temper Tantrums
Young children, especially toddlers are prone to temper tantrums. But when it comes to strong-willed children, they experience intense anger which needs a lot of time to cool down. They might find it difficult to express their anger.
7. Strong Sense of Right and Wrong
Such children will do only what they believe in and thus, will not hesitate to fight for what they think is right. No amount of persuasion can budge them once they have made up their mind.
8. Argue Endlessly
They will keep on pursuing a topic till it is resolved to their satisfaction. Simply answering “I say so”, will not be accepted and they will question you till they tire you out. They love being in power struggles.
9. Switching is Hard
Strong-willed children can find it difficult to stop doing something before they reach their goal or complete the task in full. They tend to give their all to the task at hand and cannot just drop something halfway.
10. Think Out of the Box
A strong-willed child will stand apart from the rest in the way they think and interpret situations and issues. They are not bothered about what others might think and do.
Tips for Parenting a Strong-Willed Child
There is no one formula to be followed when parenting strong-willed toddler boys and girls. You will have to tweak your approach according to the behaviour and attitude of your child. Here are some things you can keep in mind while doing this:
Convey Respect and Empathy
When you respect your child, their need to fight for it is instantly doused. Once they realize that they do not have to fight to make you respect them, they are more open to communication.
Steer Clear of Power Struggles
Be firm about the need to follow rules and routines, but do not be aggressive about enforcing them. If the rules are the same for everyone in the house, and you let your child follow these in their own way, then it will be easier for all of you.
Lend a Listening Ear
Listen to what your child has to say about the matter at hand. This will help you understand why he or she is acting the way they are. Be non-judgmental and acknowledge what they have to say.
Offer Your Child Choices
Orders will not go down well with a strong-willed child. So, instead give your child a choice of options so that they feel like they are in control. For instance, ask your child if he or she wants to go home from the park right now or in ten minutes without any fuss.
Let the Child Make Decisions About Their Body
When going out, if your child wants to wear a particular outfit, don’t force him or her to accept your choice. If the outfit is inappropriate due to weather reasons, you could tell them to take along a jacket that they can wear if required.
Change Your Attitude
Usually, a strong-willed child doesn’t try to provoke you on purpose. It’s just the way they are. So, try to remember that every time you interact with your child.
Postpone the Disciplining
Disciplining serves its purpose only when the child understands the reason behind it. So, wait for them to calm down before pronouncing the punishment and outlining consequences.
Look at the Other Side
If you are having an argument or your child’s throwing a fit because you broke a promise, step into their shoes for a minute. How would you feel if you were promised something and then it was not delivered upon?
Give Your Child Some Authority
Strong-willed children need to feel in control, so, instead of nagging them to get chores done keep prompting them to remember missed chores till they complete it by themselves.
Remember That They Are Experiential Learners
Spirited children need to learn through experience. As long as there is no danger of serious injury, let your child learn from experimenting and making mistakes.
Keep Rules to a Minimum but Define the Limits
Too many rules will stifle the child and have you all stressed out in trying to enforce them. It can result in your child simply ignoring them all. At the same time, it is important to make it clear to your child that you are the boss at home. Define the boundaries of behaviour and make sure it applies to adults as well and is adhered to by all.
Be Generous With Praise and Emphasize Positive Traits
Ensure that you have encouraging words for good behaviour and reinforce positive actions such as when the child co-operates quickly. Your child will have his strengths, so try to channelize these the right way. One way is to look at being stubborn and difficult as being persistent and assertive.
Tips to Discipline Your Child
Disciplining does not mean the use of physical force to make your child come around to your way of seeing things. A spirited child is not likely to listen to direct orders or commands, so you might have to adopt other means to get them to adhere to rules.
Open Channels of Communication
Punishments do not serve any purpose when dealing with a strong-willed child. Speak to your child and see what is bothering them and provide them cues on how to express their feelings, be it fear, anger, or hurt.
Watch Your Tone
Shouting and yelling will worsen matters and being sarcastic or sharp can cause your child to switch to fight mode. So, take a deep breath and speak in a calm yet firm voice and put your point across.
Be Consistent
If you threaten your toddler with certain consequences such as withdrawal of privileges, make sure you stick to what you said. Wavering in your decision will further embolden your child to test the boundaries.
Stick to Sleep Routines
Make sure your child follows a sleep schedule that gives them adequate rest each night as lack of sleep can make a child cranky and lead to frequent discord.
What is the Positive Side of Strong Willed Children?
A strong-willed toddler can turn into an independent adult who firmly stands by their beliefs. Such children turn out to be successful people because they do not give up on things just because there are some obstacles. Strong-willed children love challenges and take them on with alacrity and this tendency stays with them into adulthood. They have all the qualities necessary in a leader and are likely to make a difference in the world in some way.
Parenting a strong-willed child might appear to be a challenging task, especially in the early years. However, by nurturing your child’s individualistic personality in the right way, you can help them turn into a decisive, self-confident adult you will be proud of. By turning your attention to your child’s positive traits, you will be able to channelize their energy the right way.
Disclaimer: This information is just a guide and not a substitute for medical advice from a qualified professional.
Also Read: 15 Best Ways To Improve Your Parenting Skills Read more
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Good and Bad Habits
I am a mother of a 30-month-old child. She throws tantrums for every small thing. From my point of view, a child uses their tantrum as a weapon for everything they want, and if you show them a green signal at that time for such things, then it increases day by day.
So, a straightforward rule: if they want anything, consider whether it is suitable for them and, more importantly, whether you will continue to allow it in the future; only then should you proceed; otherwise, ignore them and act as if you are not listening to her or sending her a positive signal. This will work 100%, and then you will analyse they will stop showing tantrums. Please don't say no to everything but prohibit doing such things that harm them. For example, if they want to play with water, then please don't stop them because this is the age they will love to play with water, but it must be in your observation.
When your child throws a tantrum because they need sleep or are hungry, we must examine what they want and say yes, I understand, and give a hug, and you will see that they will settle down within minutes. Sit down with your child while they are in a good mood and tell them about the nice and terrible things they did in the late morning and evening. At the very initial stage, we have to control these things. Sometimes this kind of thing will embarrass you publicly. The fundamental reason for this is that if we are spoiled excessively, the situation will deteriorate if it isn't controlled.
Right parenting results in well-behaved kids. And a well-behaved one will be a suitable person in future.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Packing Right and Light for Family Vacations
Planning to go on a vacation? You have set your mind to pick comfortable bags and stuff them only with items you really need. However, this can be easier said than done! Achieve your goal to travel light and right with these tips for your vacation packing checklist for family.
Packing is quite a task and few things are more irksome than carrying bulky bags when on a vacation. If you're planning a trip with your husband and kids, it's important to prepare a packing list for a family vacation. This will save you from lugging around bags that weigh a tonne and dealing with unnecessary knick-knacks you shouldn't have taken along.
Tips on How to Pack for a Family Vacation
1. Check the Weather Forecast
If you're travelling in the summer but don't quite know what the weather will be where you're going, check the forecast. Most weather websites provide forecasts for up to around 10 days. This should help you figure out the kind of clothes and footwear you need to take along.
2. Consider the Activities You'll be Engaging In
Even if you don't have a strict itinerary, think about the activities you and your family will probably be indulging in on the trip. Cliff jumping, hiking, swimming? Keep these in mind when preparing a vacation packing checklist. You can avoid stuffing bags with unnecessary items that are no help at all!
3. Don't Take Too Many Clothes
Clothes take up a lot of space. And while you may think it's important to carry separates for each day, or probably even a few extras, are they really required? If going for a longer vacation, use the laundry service at the place you'll be staying so you can repeat outfits. A few scarves, shrugs and accessories can help you and the kids put together different looks with the same clothes. ||
4. Avoid Packing Toys
Don't take along too many toys and games for your children as they only take up a lot of space. After all, the point is to spend time together as a family and to enjoy the experience of a new place. In any case, your kids will probably want you to get them a few new things wherever you're going!
5. Choose the Right Luggage Bags
Once you've figured out what to pack for a family vacation, it's time to choose the bags to take everything in. Backpacks are a good option as they're easy to carry and it's a good idea to pick ones with multiple pockets. Trolley bags are another good choice. If you have teenage children, task them to carry a backpack. Carry travel documents and other valuable items in a separate pouch and keep this close to you at all times.
These family travel tips will help you travel light and yet carry all your essentials. This way, all your attention can be on having fun and not painfully towing luggage along! Read more
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Expecting Mom due in 4 months
6 hours ago
Q. When baby movement starts??
Dr Ghouse
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A. 5-6 months ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
6 hours ago
Q. hello dr..I am 39 weeks 3 days pregnant, AFI level 8 is this normal?and normal delivery possible for me? Is the fluid enough for up to 1 week?Do I need a drip? please suggest me.
Dr Ghouse
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6 hours ago
A. the levels are on the lower side. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Sarika gupta has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
5 hours ago
Q. Hi.. Priyanka kalra doctor..I am 39 weeks 3 days pregnant, AFI level 8 is this normal?and normal delivery possible for me? Is the fluid enough for up to 1 week?Do I need a drip? please suggest me.
Sarika gupta
Mom of 2 children
5 hours ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much and it is quite difficult to say anything about it without personally examination and proper reports evaluation. So better to consult with your treating gynaecologist in person as she knew the exact health condition of your pregnancy and can guide you better.
Take care
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
3 hours ago
Q. Hi, for May 1st they will check AFI fluid... should I need to be on empty bladder for that scan... which is around 37 weeks
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
2 hours ago
A. It’s completely normal this kind of an ultrasound is different it is not necessary that your stomach should be full or you should go empty stomach you can have your basic breakfast and all whatever you would want to eat before you go ahead with getting a scan and there is no need to go empty stomach for the scan
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Q. hi everyone..the position of my baby is still in breech position from first trimester till now as I entered in my third trimester position is still breech is it normal..
Rashmi
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A. Absolutely hundred percent normal if the child changes the position then it’s just a matter of time otherwise I would just say that sometimes kids do not change the position throughout their pregnancy so now you should just be mentally sorted to have a C-section
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