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Separation Anxiety: Causes, Symptoms & Cure
Parting with someone you love is difficult, even it is for a short time. This is especially painful if you are a child being separated from his or her caregiver for the first time. Separation anxiety is a situation in which a person feels anxious or stressed when they are put into an unfamiliar situation or with an unknown person or are kept away from their home or a family member. This is mostly observed in children and infants aged between 6 months to 3 years.
Video: Separation Anxiety in Children
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS5OxBuG3M4
What is Separation Anxiety Disorder in Children?
Separation anxiety disorder (SAD) is a condition developed in children above the age of 6 months when a child feels stressed or nervous while he plays with other children or while he goes to school. A child tends to display enormous fear or distress once separated from the ones he/she loves or has started to recognise as family or caregivers. Separation anxiety in children is a normal stage of development but may require professional help to conquer if it is severe. Various steps can be taken to help children learn how to tackle separation anxiety.
While separation anxiety is normal, an extended period of fear and distress means that your child is not facing a normal feeling of anxiety but is experiencing Separation Anxiety Disorder.
Is It Common in Babies?
Yes, every child faces separation anxiety to a certain degree when their parent or caretaker is separated from them.
The question that may arise is when does separation anxiety occur? Separation anxiety in babies starts around the age of 6 months to 10 months and can generally last until they are 3 to 4 years old. A baby generally starts to develop separation anxiety when he/she starts to realise object permanence (understanding that faces and objects still exist even when they cannot be observed, heard, touched, etc.).
Understanding the symptoms and causes of this situation can help a child to overcome the fears and anxiety caused by it.
Causes
There may not be a single reason which can lead a child to this condition. Here are some of the possible causes:
Separation anxiety can be inherited from the child’s parents or even other family members around who are stressed or anxious around the child. If a mother herself had faced stress or depression or a similar kind of disorder, then the chances of it getting transferred to the baby are high.
Children whose parents are over-protective may make it more difficult for their young ones to cope with separation anxiety. For example, a parent allowing a child to miss school when they don’t want to go can only lead to the child feeling more anxious the next day.
There are some other environmental reasons too that may trigger separation anxiety. These include the death of a pet, divorce of parents, separation from a cousin, etc.
Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder
Symptoms of separation anxiety can help you know the root cause of the condition. As a parent, one can prepare by noticing the change in the behaviour of their young one.
Also, a child diagnosed with SAD tends to face problems at school. Adjustment with the school becomes difficult, and if the extent of SAD is extremely high, then the child may also behave aggressively. Records suggest that SAD also leads to family conflicts.
Signs of Separation Anxiety in Babies
There are many signs which signal the occurrence of separation anxiety in children, such as:
Being afraid of the idea of not sleeping with parents or a caregiver
Having a fear of their close ones getting hurt or fearing their death
Constantly refusing to go to school or to play with other children
Having nightmares about getting separated from their loved ones
Wetting their bed overnight or while sleeping
How to Diagnose It?
SAD is diagnosable only if it is present in extreme conditions and levels. Otherwise, if it is minute in its existence, then it is taken as just another behavioural change.
It can be diagnosed via interviews, self-proclamation, reports by parents, observation of parent-child interaction, etc. There is also a provision for specialised assessment for preschool children. There are a variety of categories under which the assessment interviews are categorised. If you are worried about SAD in your child, please consult an expert to explore one of these diagnostic tools. The expert will also be able to assess the severity of the problem and recommend corrective measures.
How to Help your Baby with Separation Anxiety?
As a parent, you have to help your child in this condition to avoid problems in the future where he/she may continue to be upset about someone’s or something’s absence. A parent must try and get a grip on how to cure separation anxiety in babies. The following tips will be helpful in easing the child’s fears:
1. Don’t Express Nervousness in Front of the Child
Don’t let the child feel that they are going through tough times. Reassure them and make them believe they can get over the anxiety. Let them know it’s normal and it is just a phase of their growing up. Some children appreciate the fact that they are growing mature and tend to rely on it if stated accordingly.
2. Know Why Your Child Gets Anxious
Knowing the exact issues which cause anxiety in your children can prove to be a good place to start helping them to cope. Otherwise, it would become tough to talk to them or handle them.
3. Predict When They Can Be More Prone to Anxiety
Try to predict situations your child can feel distressed in and help them feel secure by comforting them in advance. It might take some time to figure this out, but it is essential to curb the anxiety.
4. Give Them Confidence
Tell them that it is okay and they are brave enough to cope with their fears and nervousness. Praise them for their little achievements and give them small, easy tasks, so that they gain confidence. Developing positive environment around them can really be helpful. A familiar perfume, a photograph, or even a belonging of their parents can make them feel safer. Timely encouragement can boost their morale to a great extent, and this will also assure them that you are always there by their side.
5. Let Them Play Outside
Playing and interacting with other children and people in the neighbourhood can help them relax. It will take their mind off the continuing trauma and help them forget it for some time.
How to Prepare a Baby for Separation?
It is recommended to help your child learn the basics of how to feel safe even when you are away. Doing this early will simplify the task of coping with separation anxiety.
1. Choose a Person They Will Be With When You’re Away
Select someone whom the baby feels comfortable with in his usual activities. Let them change his/her diaper, make them take a bath with the baby, and let them take walks or play together. It is a start of making your child comfortable with someone other than you so that there is a backup. This way, they get to realise that it is vital for them to be with other people too.
2. Let Them Know When You Leave; Don’t Sneak Away
Make a fun ritual for saying goodbye. If you go away when they are distracted, and they discover your absence afterwards, it may cause greater stress in your child and make them aggressive too.
3. Stay Connected
Occasionally, calling or sending them a greeting card to convey that you are with them even though you are not physically present, helps. Convey that you care for them and that you will be there if they are upset.
4. Tell Them Why You Go Away
While you may think that your child is too young to understand your situation, your body language can express a lot, which they can understand. Tell them about the reasons for your departure and arrival too.
5. Realise The Bigger Picture
It may be difficult for you and your child initially, but both parents should trust that the children have it in them to come out stronger. Don’t be overly protective of the child, and let him express himself. Believe that one day, everything will turn out as you planned and he will not be distressed when you are away.
Reducing Baby’s Clinginess
Tearful, hesitant goodbyes are usual in a child's early years. Teaching them to gradually overcome their fears is important for treatment for separation anxiety.
While becoming independent, children will sometimes feel unloved. However, it is just a part of their development. Hold their hands when they need to be held and let them go when you think they are ready to be released. Some babies take more time than others. So, don’t compare your child with someone else’s. Clinginess usually resolves itself on its own, as the baby grows up and becomes independent.
How to Handle Bedtime Separation Anxiety?
Regular bedtime activities: Try to make the environment and activities associated with bedtime predictable. Try not to experiment too much with their bedtime schedule
Keep dim lights beside them: When you are not around them, it helps them feel less tensed
Let them know you check on them after you leave: This will help them know that you are always just around the corner.
Physical interaction: Hug them or kiss them when you put them to bed
Teach them to entertain themselves: Encourage independent playtime. Keep a toy with them, and let them play on their own until they get tired and feel sleepy
Are There Any Preventive Measures?
There are several prevention measures for separation anxiety disorder. However, it is important to understand the signs properly and start implementing these precautions early on:
1. Keep Goodbyes Short
A short and simple goodbye, maybe with a hug or kiss, is recommended. Make sure you don’t make it long, even if the child feels bad about it. In the long run, it will only help them
2. Be Fearless as a Parent
As a parent, try not to express negative emotions when you go away from them or meet them after a while. Children can learn to develop emotions from your anxieties and tensions
3. Learn How to Leave
Gradually train your child by leaving for an extended time. Be away from them for five to ten minutes initially. Then, increase this time day by day until the time when he/she loses the fear of being without you
4. Control Your Emotions Upon Meeting
Don’t go overboard with affection right when you meet after a while. Restrain yourself from showing feelings which can feed their fears. Temporary separation should be presented as a matter of course instead of as a special event
Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. Although it might be frustrating initially, your efforts are sure to pay off and help you raise a confident child in the long run. In case none of the above solutions seem to be helping or your child displays severe symptoms such as aggression, age-inappropriate tantrums, or persistent refusal to go to school, consult an expert. Read more
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एक नारी के जीवन में साँझ के बाद आता है खूबसूरत सवेरा
आज तो हद हो गई,घर के काम निपटाते -निपटाते स्कूल के लिए काफी लेट हो गई । मैं एक सरकारी स्कूल में टीचर हूँ! आज बहुत परेशान हूँ मैं, इसका कारण हमारी प्रधानाध्यापिका थी,जो बच्चों और टीचर के साथ भी काफी सख्ती से पेश आती थी!सच कहूँ,तो वो मुझे फूटी आँख नही भााती हैै, लेकिन उनकी वजह से हमारे स्कूल का बहुत नाम था।मैडम,सब से दूरी बनाए रखती, किसी से बात तक नही करती, बहुत कठोर थी वो। आज पहली बार मैं ऐसी परिस्थिति में फंसी थी।मैं,उनकेे केबिन में गई,उन्होंने मुझे खूब फटकार लगाई। मैं, काफी दुखी मन से अपने क्लासरूम में गई।खैर, उसके बाद दिन अच्छे से गुजर गया।
घर आई तो सुुकून मिला, हमे एक पार्टी में जाना था। दरअसल, बेटे की दोस्त की बर्थडे पार्टी थी। मेंरे पति और बिटिया नहींं आ पा रहे थे क्योकि बेटी को पढ़ना था ,उसके परीक्षा जो पास है।
शाम 7 बजे मैं, और रोहित(मेरा बेटा) पार्टी में थे। काफी रौनक थी पार्टी में! मैं ,खड़ी बस इधर-उधर देेेख रही थी, तभी मेरी नजर मेरी प्रधानाधपिका पर पड़ी।वो, मेरी तरफ ही आ रही थी।
नीलिमा जी आज बहुत सुंदर लग रही है। वो, मेरे पास आके बड़े प्यार से मुझ से मेरा हाल चाल लिया।
नीलिमा जी, मुुझ से बोली - मैं जानती हूँ, आप मेेेरे बारे में क्या सोचती हैं। आज मैं भी आपको अपने इस व्यवहार का कारण बताना चाहती हूँ। सुजाता, मैं ऐसी नहीं थीं। जब सारे नाते धोखा दे तो लोग मेरे जैसे हो जााते है।
जब मैं दसवीं में थी, तो पापा के दोस्त मेंरे साथ गलत हरकतें करते थे। डर और शर्म के मारे मैं किसी से कुुुछ नहींं कह पाती। उसकेे बाद जब कॉलेज में पढ़ने आई तो एक लड़के को मैं बहुत चाहने लगी वो भी मुझे प्यार करता था लेकिन यहाँ भी मैं धोखा खाई ,वो लड़का मुझ से नही मेंरे दोस्त को प्यार करता था।उनमें शर्त लगी थी कि वो मुझेे पटा पायेगा या नही।मुझे मजाक बना केे रख दिया दोनों ने। तब से मेरा ,प्यार और दोस्ती से मोह भंग हो गया।
पढ़ाई पूरी हुई तो घर वालों ने मेंरी शादी करवा दी।ससुराल में दहेज के लिए सताया जाता और मैं बेेबस सब सहती रहती! एक दिन मेरे पति के पेट मे दर्द हुआ और वो चल बसे।ससुराल वालो ने घर से निकाल दिया। मायके आई तो बात बात पर ताने सुनने को मिलते। अंत में मेरी शादी किसी बूढ़े से करने की बात करने लगेे सब। मैंने मना किया तो माँ ने गुस्से में कहा तू मर क्यो नही जाती, फिर क्या था छोड़ आई ,मैं अपना घर जहाँ मेरा कोई नही था।
यहाँ अपनी मेहनत से अपना वजूूूद बनाया। मैं करीब 10 साल से तनु के पड़ोस में रह रही हूँ। वो मुझे माँ की तरह प्यार करती है। तनु और तुम्हारा बेेटा एकदूसरे से प्यार करतेे हैं। तनु की माँ मेरे उससे मिलने से पहले ही मर गई थी। वो नादान मुझमें अपनी माँ ढूंढती है। मैं भी उसे बहुत प्यार करती हूं।
तनु के पापा, काफी सज्जन हैं। उन्होंने कभी भी मेरे अकेलेपन का फायदा उठाने की कोशिश नही की, इसी बात से मैंं उनकी ओर खींची चली गई ये बात तनु समझ गई और आज उसने अपने पापा से गिफ्ट में मुझे मांग लिया। सुजाता,मेरे जीवन मे तो तनु ने सांझ के बाद का सवेरा ला दिया।
सुजाता, क्या हमें अपने बच्चों को साथ जीने की खुशियां नही देंनी चाहिए। मैं बोली - मुझे कोई आपत्ति नहीं है पर रोहित के पापा। नीलिमा जी बोली वो तैयार है बस आपकी हामी बाकी थी। फिर, हमदोनो माँओ ने केक कटिंग केे बाद उनकी सगाई होने वाली है ,ऐसा बताया ही था कि रोहित केे पापा वहाँ आ गए ।वो तो सगाई की तैैयारी कर के आये थे। ये मेरे लिए सरप्राइज था।
नीलिमा जी,की शादी 2 दिन बाद मंदिर में हुुुई।आज उनकी जीवन मे सांझ के बाद सवेरा आ ही गया।
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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5 Finance Tips for Single Parents
Single parents should take stock of their finances to ensure a secure future for their kids. It is never easy to be both the caretaker and breadwinner for the family, but the payoff is worth it. Therefore, single parent finances should be channeled from the word go.
Being a single mom means that you don't just have a hard time emotionally, but also financially. When you're walking such a tightrope, looking out and securing your and your child's future should be paramount. When you map out a way to secure your child's future, you contribute to his growth as a human being and also feel confident along the way. Financial planning will enable your child to follow his dreams and make you a proud mom. Here are some financial planning tips for single moms that can't ever be sidelined.
Single Parent Finance Ideas
Budget
As a single parent, one of the first and most important things to do is to make a budgeting strategy. Set realistic goals that you can achieve. Set aside money for bill payments, school fees, and some extra yet useful shopping too. Of course don't forget to invest in long term policies and save, even if that means putting it in a piggybank. Remember, any or rather all types of saving will reap you benefits.
Emergency Savings
Most single moms are always living on the financial edge. Large bills, decreased work hours, or an unexpected medical emergency can eat into your earnings. Creating an emergency savings fund will help save the day in most cases. Look over your budget for the month and try to cut back on things that you can do without. Consult a financial advisor for a plan that will benefit your kid in the long run. When you create this fund, ensure that you do not dip into it. Let it remain untouched and watch how it matures.
The Contingency Plan
It is important that you make out a will in case of an emergency to place your possessions and estate in safe hands. While it might not be the best pastime to draw up legal documents, it does however secure your kid's future. When you make these choices, it relaxes you. It gives you the peace of mind that no matter what, you have made arrangements to ensure that your child is in need of nothing and is secure.
Manage Debts
While you may have a weakness for splurging on designer bags or shoes, saving for a rainy day should take precedence when you're a single mom. That doesn't mean you should live an austere life. It just means that you need to start paying for the stuff you buy as opposed to raking up large credit card bills. Set aside a small sum for your monthly splurge. The rest of your income can be divided in other parts. A significant amount should be deposited for your kid's future. This is one of the best budgeting tips for single moms.
Life Insurance
Life can be very uncertain. It is always good to safeguard your kid and yourself from any potential risk. Getting a life insurance that suits your pocket is always advisable. This is important because a high monthly premium can be difficult to handle. You could also ring up a friend who is an expert in the field before committing to a scheme. Once you are well-informed, you can make the right choice.
These tips will provide the best financial assistance to single parents. Since they do not have the support of a second person, it becomes imperative to think smarter and act faster. These suggestions will definitely ensure a comfortable and stress free future for you and your child. Read more
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Appam (Lace Hoppers)
Appam, also known as palappam, is a favourite breakfast of Keralites. This easily digestible dish, made of rice, tastes luscious, but is a bit tedious to prepare. There are different methods of preparing it and here, we are presenting the method which uses yeast to enhance the process of fermentation. This dish can be a perfect Sunday breakfast when served in accompaniment with a veg or non veg stew.
Serves
Preparation Time
Cooking Time
5 People
3 - 4 Hours (soaking time)
25-30 Minutes
Ingredients
2 cups raw rice
1 cup grated coconut
1 cup of cooked rice
1 tsp sugar (optional)
1/2 tsp instant yeast
1 cup milk (optional)
Salt to taste
Water as required
Method
Step 1
Soak raw rice in water for 3 - 4 hrs. Drain the water.
Step 2
Add soaked rice, grated coconut and cooked rice into a blender. Grind it to a smooth paste by adding enough water.
Step 3
Add instant yeast and grind it further.
Step 4
Pour the batter into a separate bowl and allow it to ferment overnight.
Step 5
On the next day, before cooking the appam, add sugar, salt and mix well.
Step 6
If the batter is too thick, you can add water or milk to get the right consistency.
Step 7
Place appam chatti (kadhai) over medium heat. Grease the kadhai with oil.
Step 8
Pour a ladle full of batter into the kadhai and immediately swirl the kadhai by holding the sides, so that the batter spreads evenly in circles.
Step 9
Cover it with a lid and let it cook for 2 minutes. Open the lid and see if the sides have turned crisp, remove and serve hot with potato stew, chana curry or chicken curry. Note that appam doesn’t need to be turned around to cook the other side like doshas.
Nutritional Information
Calories
466 Kcal
Proteins
8.6 g
Fat
6.1 g
Carbohydrates
92.1 g
Cholesterol
0 mg
Sodium
40 mg
Potassium
193 mg
Read more
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Free Vaccination Provided at government centers are now with yhe better facilities
My baby was delivered in gurugram where he already had his first vaccination which cost us around 5000 but after few days we have to move to our hometown near agra where vaccination was available at government hospital and no private center was available.
We discussed our friends who completed the vaccination of their babies where they suggested that government centres are not clean, messed up and are not professionals. they might not complete the vaccination. Further Vaccinations provided by private hospitals costs between 10 to 15k per visit which is free in the govt. centers. Since it is free in government centre it might not effective as per the general perception. also the vaccine provided by private hospitals are painless and fever wont come in 95% cases. Since there was no private centre we had to move to the government centre.
When we entered the government hospital it was very clean but the gathering was not educated. Didi sanitised their hands and they wore masks and then they gave us baby card and asked some of the baby details. They then brought out the vaccinations as per vaccination schedule of baby from refrigerator. She also explained us about the vaccines. Now the facilities provided at government hospitals are improved and my perception about it was changed. We completed our baby vaccination through a government doctor and they also gave us Paracetamol drops and a booklet which was helpful throughout our baby vaccination. In my opinion baby should also build their immune by bear some fever and pain otherwise it wont get a fair chance to deal with the struggle of this world. Also painful vaccines are bit efficient than painless vaccines as per doctors. By availing facilities already provided by govt. u can save about 40 thousand and with better doses. I discussed this with my doctor as well who suggested that the doses provided by government centres are equivalent effective. In my suggestion we should avail the facilities provided by government free of cost and should aware other people about these facilities as well. Read more
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
9 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts is it okay that the baby is kicking less than usual?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
9 hours ago
A. Yes it is the what part is that your child is kicking if you feel that there is a movement of your child whether it is a cake or slight movement also you know that your child is doing fine so there is no problem in that if the movement is less it’s completely alright
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
9 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts what to do if the baby’s nose is blovked
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
9 hours ago
A. Nasal blockage is very common, specially in small children because of the narrow nasal cavity. Any kind of saline drops like nasal clear will be helpful in dissolving the stuffy secretions, which can be taken out by vnasal aspirator gently also steam inhalation will be helpful also, try to avoid keeping the child directly under the fan.
Ankita Mehta has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 4 months
6 hours ago
Q. 22 week pregnant,baby konse month me or din me kitni baar move kartaa he ,pls bataye abhi sirf 2, 3 baar hi hota he
Ankita Mehta
Mom of a 8 yr 7 m old girl
4 hours ago
A. hi
yes it's enough
and the frequency and timing may vary as we all are different
but yes, the frequency of feeling baby movements will increase now
please go for regular check-up to your gynecologist
and follow his or her suggestions
Rashmi has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
5 hours ago
Q. hi
need help and advice
my RT 18x16mm and LT 10x16mm ET 6.59
and did ovulation rest also showing fertility test C as if now , pls advice if we intercourse tomorrow then when will be my ovulation start.
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
5 hours ago
A. You can check with an ovulation kit if it is positive then you can certainly go ahead with the conception because ovulation kit is going to give you 100% clarity whether you are ovulating or not with that you can try practising if you can conceive the same time
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. Bread feeding mother can have green tea
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
1 hour ago
A. absolutely no problem to have green tea ok. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
53 mins ago
Q. In my growth scan doctor found that 2 round cord has been partly around baby necks. Is there any problem with this. will I get normal delivery?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
50 mins ago
A. A lot of times normal delivery is actually seen in these cases also if the doctor is quick and the child cooperate then yes normal delivery is very much possible but some doctors don’t take a chance with the health of your child and so they normally suggest C-section so let’s see what’s your situation by the end when you are into your labour
Check out this new Memory
Soniya Kumari
Mom of a 2 yr 5 m old girl
New Memory
#stylishbaby
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