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Top 12 Tips on How to Make a Baby Smart and Intelligent
In this competitive age, parents are often concerned about whether their child is intelligent enough and wonder if they can do anything to help their child’s intelligence develop. It is believed that the right amount of stimulation at an early age considerably enhances a child’s mental capabilities. The first few years are thus the prime time to focus on a child’s intellectual development. Here are some practical tips which aim to help you raise your child to be intelligent.
Video: 10 Secrets to Raise A Smart and Intelligent Baby
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmq8ic6Muqs
12 Effective Ways to Raise a Smart and Intelligent Baby
1. Indulge in Baby Talk
Communication is a key skill that is essential in enhancing the intelligence of a child. It allows your child to bond with you and develops self-esteem and confidence. Encourage your child to improve his communication skills by involving him in verbal activities. Talk to your baby about what you are doing, how your day went, or anything else. Include descriptive language, and he will learn to use it in his own conversations. Strong language skills are always associated with higher intelligence. So, give your child the benefit of this skill.
2. Be Openly Affectionate
A secure baby tends to be more confident, and thus more receptive to challenges in life. Start him off on the right path by providing a safe and happy environment at home. Skin-to-skin contact and baby massages allow you and your baby to bond. Tickle him, let him climb over you and play, cuddle with him, put him on your lap, or wear him in a baby sling.
3. Nutritious Food
When your baby is ready to start solid food, make sure to include nutrient-rich foods to help in his cognitive development. Foods like eggs, green leafy vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds are rich sources of vitamins and minerals necessary for your baby’s overall healthy development.
4. Stimulate With Age-Appropriate and Simple Toys
While many toy companies are focusing on infant products, not all of them are suited to every baby’s intellectual capacity. Some of them may overwhelm and frustrate your baby. So, before introducing the toy, analyse whether it is suitable for his capabilities. The right toys will intrigue him, stimulate him, and be excellent educational tools.
5. Play With Your Baby
Guided play with your child will direct his attention and give him new opportunities to explore and understand. Set aside time to play with your baby regularly. Bring yourself to his level of understanding and indulge in activities that appeal to his taste. Slowly introduce new play ideas that will encourage him to think beyond what he is aware of. Since babies love to mimic, it won’t be long before your baby gets the hang of it and races ahead with his new-found skills.
6. Read Together
Books are an excellent tool to stimulate your baby’s imagination and thinking capabilities. Read to your baby every day. Choose bright coloured books with various textures and simple images that will hold his interest. Initially, your baby may prefer the same book, but he will slowly learn to explore more options. The more you familiarise your baby with letters and pictures, the more inclined he will be to read when he is older.
7. Weave Stories Around Him
When you introduce your baby to books and stories, try to make him the protagonist of his favourite tales. As the baby learns to relate these stories to his own environment, he will be able to connect better with the things around him. It will also develop his interest in stories and storytelling, and soon he might start telling you his own tales.
8. Encourage Him to Explore
Expose your child to new and unfamiliar environments and encourage him to explore these new spaces. Narrate what you see, and appear enthusiastic about new things you come across. Even a trip to the supermarket can be visually stimulating for a child. The more experiences you give your baby, the more he will learn.
9. Introduce Your Child to Letters and Numbers Early
Don’t wait for your child to start school for him to learn numbers and letters. Start counting at home during your play sessions and point out letters on boards and signposts. The more exposure your child receives to the written word, the easier it will be for him to understand and study it when the time comes. Verbal and physical cues such as sign language will enhance his ability to understand and allow him to associate it with things he sees around himself.
10. Create Opportunities to Interact With Other Children
Social interactions provide stimulating experiences and also prepare your child to face challenges as he grows up. Set up play-dates with children of his age or take him to the park to play with other children. When you supervise his interactions at this stage, you can gently guide him and support him in making good friends. As he learns valuable lessons about interacting with others, he will also be better equipped to handle unpleasant situations effectively when he is older.
11. Encourage His Curiosity
Children are naturally curious, and this curiosity, when stimulated, can help them learn more. Stimulate your child’s interest by providing him with plenty of opportunities to discover new things. Appreciate it when he does something new, so he is motivated to keep exploring. Give him child-friendly play materials from everyday life, and let his imagination grow and take him places.
12. Reduce Screen Time
Although there are numerous educational shows and programs for young children, exercise caution when exposing your child to them. Limit screen time and focus on hands-on activities; instead, as these will stimulate your child better. Avoid letting your child play with tablets and mobiles, as these can be damaging to their eyes. Too much television exposure will also lead to a sedentary lifestyle, vision problems, and reduced thinking capabilities.
We live in a globally competitive world, so there is a constant need to keep ourselves updated with the happenings of the world. Raising your baby to be smart is not an arduous task but one that requires understanding and know-how of dealing with things smartly. Eventually, your baby will benefit from these t tricks and will be equipped to handle the many challenges life throws his way.
Also Read: Intelligent Baby Signs Read more
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Harmful Effects of Force-feeding Children
As parents we want our children to get optimum nutrition, and for that, it is required that they eat a proper and well-balanced meal. However, feeding food to children can be an arduous task, especially if your child resents or refuses to eat what you want him to eat. In such situations, parents often tend to force-feed their kids, but it may lead to harmful consequences. If you wish to learn more about why it is harmful to force-feed children, we suggest going through the following post for the same.
What Does Force-feeding Actually Mean?
Providing nutrition and nourishment to a child is what every parent wants to do, but sometimes they end up feeding their kids forcefully. The following points may constitute force-feeding:
Deciding how much, when and what the child will eat
Feeding enormous amounts of food to the child even if he resents it
Comparing the child with other kids or blackmailing the child into eating food or into consuming a large serving of food
Ignoring a child’s pleas of eating less or later
Why Do Usually Parents Force-feed Their Children?
As parents, we make sure that we undertake every task that ensures the proper upbringing of our kids, and feeding food and providing nutrition is one of them. Here are some reasons that explain why parents tend to force-feed their kids:
1. To Finish What Is Served
Most of us have this notion that if it is on the plate, it should eventually land in our tummies. But with kids, that is not the case because they would only eat the amount of food their stomachs permit.
2. When Introducing Solid Foods
This is a very common feeding mistake that parents make when they start feeding their babies for the first time. The aim is not to force the baby to eat the food that he despises, but to let the baby develop the taste and then letting him choose what he likes to eat.
3. Concern That the Child Is Not Eating Enough
Young children eat less but eat often. We as parents think that our child may not be eating or getting ample nutrition from small meals, thus overfeeding.
4. Spoon-feeding Older Children
Quite a few parents like to feed their children even when they are old enough to eat by themselves, because they think that they may not be able to feed themselves. This leads to overfeeding.
5. Not Understanding the Child’s Needs
As parents, we think that we are more aware of what our child needs, and the same holds true for food. Therefore, when the child refuses to eat, we often tend to force-feed thinking that the child does not understand his body’s requirements.
6. For Introducing New Foods
Parents often force their kids to eat when they introduce them to a new fruit, vegetable, or a food item. This thinking is supported by the idea that children need to be given the food continuously so they can get the hang of the taste.
7. Comparing With Other Children
If the child’s friend or cousin of the same age is eating more amounts of food, the parents might feel that they are not doing a good job with feeding their child, and they opt for force-feeding.
8. For Inculcating Good Habits
Just because a certain food is healthy, it does not mean that you will force your child to eat it. Parents often think that to inculcate good eating habits, the children should be made to eat certain foods even if they do not like eating them.
What Are the Effects of Force Feeding?
We understand that as parents you do everything you can to bring up your child, and food is an integral part of it. However, force feeding is something you should avoid.
Here are some effects that force-feeding may lead to:
1. Vomiting
When you feed your child against his wishes, it may end up in him throwing up or vomiting.
2. Aversion Towards Food
The child may not only dislike what you may be feeding him, but it may make him repulsive towards that food.
3. Kills the Appetite
We eat when we feel hungry, and the same goes for kids. But as parents, we doubt the judgement of our children when it comes to eating, thus force-feeding them. This kills their appetite.
4. Negative Emotions
The child can develop negative feelings and emotions towards food, and even towards the parent.
5. Leads to Unhealthy Eating Habits
Your child may develop unhealthy eating habits because he may develop an aversion towards healthy food.
6. Lack of Control on Eating Habits
One of the worst side effects of force-feeding toddlers or older children is that they can lose control over their eating habits.
7. Eating Disorder
Because there is no control over eating, the child may develop eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, etc.
8. Under-eating Issues
As the child grows, he may eat less food rather than eating larger amounts.
9. Lifelong Dislike for Food
Children may fester long aversions and dislike for food as they grow up.
10. Parental Control on Food Leads to Eating Issues
When parents force-feed their children, it can end up in kids feeling lost and lacking control over their lives. This may lead to low self-esteem issues.
How to Stop Pressuring Kids to Eat?
Force-feeding babies. toddlers or older kids may lead to many physical, emotional and physiological issues. Therefore, it is important to understand why you are force-feeding your kid and look for the trigger that may be causing such behaviour. If you feel your child eats lesser than his sibling, refuses to eat, is more engrossed in playing than eating and various such things, it is very normal. You should maintain your calm and not panic and let your child come and ask for it.
What You Can Do to Make Your Child Eat Properly Without Forcing Him
Here’s what you can do:
Eat with your kid
Have patience when introducing something new
If the child gets distracted, gain his attention back
Be patient
FAQs
Here are some FAQs answered for your benefit:
1. Should I Force My Child to Eat If He Is a Picky Eater?
If your kid is a picky eater, the first thing that you need to establish is the root cause of it. This will help you deal with the situation in a better way. Even if your child is engrossed in something and is missing his meal times, it is best to leave him alone and let him come back to you whenever he feels hungry.
2. How Can I Inculcate Good Eating Habits in a Child?
Apart from being a good role model, letting your child decide his meal times, preferences and other such factors may help a long way in inculcating good eating habits in a child.
It is important to feed healthy food to your child, but not at the cost of force-feeding him. Talk to your doctor if your child is giving you a tough time with his meals.
Also Read:
How To Feed Your Baby With A Syringe?
Know More About Finger Feeding Your Baby
Why Your Baby Getting Taller But Not Healthier?
Facts to Know About Formula Feeding Your Baby Read more
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20 Cute and Easy Hairstyles for Little Girls
If your little girl loves to look good, then she is going to love it if you style her hair differently every day. Here are some cute and easy ideas for long, medium and short hairstyles for little girls that you can try that will not only make your girl happy, but that will also bring a whole lot of compliments her way.
1. French Braid
How to Do it?
Brush through the hair well.
Gather all the hair from the top of the head and divide it into three sections.
Take the hair from one side over the middle section, and then repeat the same with the other side. Pull the sections tight, so they do not come undone.
Add hair to the sections before you repeat the crossover motions each time.
Suitable Face Structure
French braids suit almost every face shape.
Occasions
Casual outings, school, sports activities
Required Products
Elastic band.
Expert Advice
When adding hair to the sections, make sure to add equal amounts so that the braid doesn’t become lopsided. This is one of the most common braided hairstyles there is.
2. French Crown Braid
How to Do it?
Spray all around the hairline and comb through.
Form a side parting.
Use the tail of the comb to separate a thin slice of hair. Split this into three sections.
Take the left piece over the middle piece and do the same with the one on the right.
Add a little more hair to the left section and then twist it over the middle section. Do the same with the right section.
Once you use up all the hair in the parting, use the end of the parting on the scalp as a centre point. Continue in this manner around the head.
Once you run out of hair to add entirely, continue the braid normally, twisting the right and left sections over the middle one in turns, taking the braid over the head in the fashion of a headband.
Measure a point in the tail of the braid that is symmetrical to the point the braid began. This is where you should tie the elastic.
Using a topsy tail, weave the remaining hair through the stitches in the braid until all the hair is weaved into the stitches.
Suitable Face Structure
Oval and heart-shaped faces will pull this look off best.
Occasions
Weddings, festivals and special occasions.
Required Products
Detangling spray
Comb
Elastic band
Topsy Tail
Expert Advice
After you tie the elastic band, do not continue to braid the hair. When you weave unbraided hair into the stitches, it helps to blend it into the original braid, making it difficult to see where it ends.
3. Hair Bow
How to Do it?
Brush your girl’s hair well and then start pulling it up into a high ponytail.
Bring the hair through the elastic but don’t pull it all the way through. It will form a loop. Make sure the loop is behind, and the loose hair is falling forward, onto the forehead.
Gather the loose hair, and after splitting the loop into two, fold the loose hair over the middle to make the centre of the bow.
Secure any loose hairs at the back of the bow with bobby pins and spray the hair with hairspray to lock everything in place.
Suitable Face Structur
This hairstyle suits round faces the best, but those with heart or diamond-shaped faces can pull this off too.
Occasions
Parties, picnics or any daytime outing.
Required Products
Brush, bobby pins, hairspray.
Expert Advice
Make sure the hair at the top of the head is brushed out until it is completely flat to make them look neater and the bow stands out more.
4. Curly Bob
How to Do it?
Wash your girl’s hair and then gently begin to dry it by scrunching the water so that it absorbs into the towel.
Once you get most of the water out this way, you can either use hairspray, mousse or a gel to help keep the shape of the curls before drying the hair, preferably with a diffuser; otherwise just use your fingers.
Suitable Face Structure
Oval, square and diamond-shaped faces will suit this look best.
Occasions
Casual, everyday look.
Required Products
Shampoo, towel, hairspray/mousse/gel, blow-drier (preferably with a diffuser for convenience)
Expert Advice
This type of style suits all sorts of curls, ranging from wavy curls to tight ringlets and is one of the most simple hairstyles for little girls with short hair.
5. Waterfall Twist
How to Do it?
Take a piece of hair from above the ear and divide it into two halves.
Twist the hair one over the other, moving horizontally.
Take another chunk of hair that falls downwards and places it in between the two twisting chunks, forming a twist around it. The “waterfall” chunks should continue to cascade downwards in noticeable locks.
Continue to do this around the head to reach above the other ear.
Once you reach the other ear, push a bobby pin into the twist to hold everything in place.
Tuck the remaining hair downwards so that it blends into the rest of the hair.
Suitable Face Structure
Heart, oval and diamond-shaped faces will look good with this style.
Occasions
Daytime outings and parties.
Required Products
Bobby pins.
Expert Advice
All this hairstyle really needs is properly brushed hair, but if you want to make it look fancier for a party, you can always curl the waterfall chunks and then very gently brush out the ends. You can do the same for a few other chunks of hair here and there to give it a more wavy appearance.
6. Single French Half Braid
How to Do it?
Take the hair on the crown by making neat partings on both sides.
Comb through the hair section to smoothen it out.
Use two banana clips on the sides of the hair to help hold the partings in place and keep them neat.
Make a simple French braid with the hair at the top of the head and secure it with a clear elastic band.
Suitable Face Structure
Round, square and heart-shaped faces will pull this look off best.
Occasions
Casual outings, picnics.
Required Products
Comb, clear elastic band, two banana clips.
Expert Advice
If your little girl’s hair has the tendency to get frizzy, use some frizz spray or serum to smoothen it out before combing through the hair.
7. Folded Double Buns
How to Do it?
Comb through hair to remove all tangles.
Make a parting right down the centre of the head.
On either side, comb through and begin to tie the hair in a high ponytail, but do not pull the hair all the way through. Allow it to form a little loop, with the loose bits left at the bottom of the folded buns.
Suitable Face Structure
This hairstyle suits most face shapes.
Occasions
A more casual look, but can be worn at parties if dressed well with ribbons or hair accessories.
Required Products
Two elastic bands.
Expert Advice
This technique can be used to make two half buns for slightly longer hair.
8. Braided Bangs
How to Do it?
Take your girl’s fringe in a side parting and comb through.
Braid the hair carefully, starting from the roots where the parting is, all the way to the end of her fringe.
Use an elastic band to tie the end of the braid.
Suitable Face Structure
This hairstyle will suit all face shapes.
Occasions
This is perfect for a casual outing.
Required products
Brush, elastic band.
Expert Advice
This look can also be done with a French braid for a fancier look.
9. Rapunzel Twist Tail
How to Do it?
Comb the hair and tie it into a high ponytail.
Split the ponytail into two equal sections.
Braid one half of the hair and tie the end with an elastic band.
Twist the other section of the hair and then take the braided side and twist the two together like a rope. Secure the ends with an elastic band.
Suitable Face Structure
All face shapes will look good with this hairstyle.
Occasions
Casual or fancy occasions.
Required Products
Elastic bands.
Expert Advice
This is not very common among hairstyles for little girls with long hair, but it is unique and pretty. You can use a little serum or gel to smoothen the hair.
10. Micro Braid Bun Knot
How to Do it?
Remove two small sections of hair near each of the temples.
Make small braids on both sides with these sections of hair.
Secure the braids for the time as you make a ponytail.
Once done, add the braids into the ponytail.
Take the length of the hair and divide it into two and tie these two chunks of hair as if you are tying a shoelace, by twisting and pulling one section through to the other side. Continue this knot making until you reach the ends and secure with an elastic band.
Form the bun and secure it with bobby pins as you go along.
Suitable Face Structure
This will suit most face shapes.
Occasions
Parties and special occasions.
Required Products
Elastic bands and bobby pins.
Expert Advice
You can adjust the knots in whatever way you choose to make it look more elegant and secure them with the bobby pins.
11. Rope Braid
How to Do it?
Brush your girl’s hair well to remove all knots.
Tie the hair in a high ponytail.
Divide the hair into two halves.
Twist both sections to the left.
Wrap the left over the right section to form the twist.
Continue to twist the hair sections to the left and wrap them on the right.
Tie the ends with an elastic band.
Suitable Face Structure
This type of braid is good for oval and round face shapes.
Occasions
Casual outing, picnic
Required Products
Elastic bands
Expert Advice
Gently pull the sides of the braids to make your girl’s hair look thicker.
12. Chain Link Braids
How to Do it?
Comb the hair well and make a high ponytail.
Divide the hair into two sections and then make those into rope twist braids.
Use an elastic band to tie each of the rope twist braids together.
Lastly, twist the two individuals rope braids into a single braid and tie it at the end with an elastic band.
Suitable Face Structure
Best suited to round faces.
Occasions
Parties
Required Products
Elastic bands
Expert Advice
You can always dress this style by adding some hair decorations like bows or elegant hair bands.
13. Fish Tail Braid
How to Do it?
Tie a ribbon around the hair near the base of the neck, forming a ponytail.
Evenly divide your hair into two parts.
With your finger, separate a small bit of hair from the outer edge and bring it over to the other side, overlapping the rest of the hair.
Repeat this step on the other side.
Continue to do this, alternating sides, for the entire length of the hair and then tie it at the end with an elastic band.
Remove the ribbon at the nape of the neck.
Loosen the braid by gently pulling the sides.
Suitable Face Structure
Suits square and round face shapes.
Occasions
Casual outings, school, picnics
Required Products
A ribbon, an elastic band
Expert Advice
Be sure to pick small sections from below the braid and keep them an even size so that the braid doesn’t look lopsided.
14. Milk Maid Braid
How to Do it?
Create two even sections by forming a parting down the middle of the head.
Form normal braids for both sections.
Cross the two braids over the crown of the head in the same fashion as a headband.
Use bobby pins to pin down any stray hairs and to hide any bumps that may form.
Tuck the ends in the braid at the top of the head and pin it with the bobby pins.
Spray hair with hairspray to keep everything in place.
Suitable Face Structure
Best suited for round and oval shapes
Occasions
Festive, party, celebrations
Required Products
Elastic bands, bobby pins, hair spray, comb
Expert Advice
If you want a unique look, use two small sections and one bigger section while forming the braids.
15. Chignon Hair Bun
How to Do it?
Brush hair well and form into a low ponytail.
Push your finger through above the elastic above the ponytail, forming a small hole.
Take the length of the ponytail and loop it through the hole.
Hold it together with bobby pins and add some hair accessories like a flower or bow.
Suitable Facial Structure
Oval and heart-shaped faces.
Occasions
Party, festivals, celebrations
Required Products
Comb, elastic band, bobby pins, hair accessories
Expert Advice
To avoid dry ends, add some gel or serum to the ends of the hair.
16. Double Buns
How to Do it?
After dividing the hair into two sections, form them into high pigtails.
Lightly tease the pigtails and then form them into buns.
Hold the buns in place using bobby pins.
Pull out sections that seem to be in too tight to make the buns a little wider.
Suitable Face Structure
Any face shape
Occasions
Casual, everyday look
Required Products
Bobby pins, comb, elastic band
Expert Advice
This bun looks good even when it is slightly messy.
17. Top Knot Bun
How to Do it?
Gather the hair back into a tight ponytail.
Tie it well with an elastic band.
Separate the hair into two equal sections, using hair gel or serum to smoothen the hair out.
Twist both the sections of hair until the end.
Hold the twisted hair together and firmly wrap it around the elastic band.
Secure everything in place with bobby pins
Suitable Face Structure
Round, oval and diamond shaped faces will pull this look off really well.
Occasions
Casual, everyday look
Required Products
Elastic bands, hair gel/serum, bobby pins
Expert Advice
The hair needs to be twisted so that the hair smoothens out more and does not have any hair sticking out.
18. Half Up Top Knot
How to Do it?
Separate the top half of your hair neatly from the bottom half.
Take all the hair from the temple upwards and secure it in a ponytail.
Take the hair from the ponytail and wrap it around the top of the ponytail.
Keep the bun in place with the help of bobby pins.
Spritz some hairspray over the do to hold everything in place.
Suitable Face Structure
Suits all face shapes.
Occasions
Casual, everyday look
Required Products
Elastic band, hairspray, bobby pins
Expert Advice
This hairstyle can be done even on days you are in a rush. Just use your fingers to make the half top knot, and your little one is good to go.
19. Pigtails
How to Do it?
Part the hair very neatly all the way down to form two even sections of hair
Tie the hair separately with elastic bands.
Start to braid one side of the hair right until the end and secure it with an elastic band.
Do the same for the other side.
Suitable Face Structure
Round and heart-shaped faces will pull this off best.
Occasions
Picnics, casual, family outings
Required Products
Elastic bands, comb
Expert Advice
For best results, wash hair and apply a hair serum or leave in conditioner to make sure it is smooth.
20. Pull Through Pony
How to Do it?
Take a small section of hair in the front and tie it in place with an elastic band.
Gather the hair behind it into a ponytail and add it to the first section, tying the two together.
Do the same as far down the head as you prefer.
Secure the end with an elastic band.
Suitable Face Structure
Oval, heart or round face shapes will pull this look off well.
Occasions
Casual, family outings
Required Products
Elastic bands, comb
Expert Advice
Align the ponytails properly, so they do not look lopsided.
Our hair is one of the things that first catches the attention of others, so having neat and creative hairdos can make your little girl stand out in a crowd. Just remember not to pull her hair so hard that it causes her discomfort and pain. Instead be as gentle as you can with her hair. Remember, your little girl is going to learn how to look after and handle her hair from the way you to teach her. Show her the way to keep her hair healthy and throw in a few easy but pretty hairstyles like the ones above so that she can flaunt her gorgeous hair in different styles. Read more
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Its okay to complain mommy's.
You don't have to be happy and perfect always. You can just be YOU!
Motherhood is often glorified in our society and moms are expected to forget all their pains, issues and frustration that arouses because of it. If you ever say words like 'I am struggling to raise my child, its so difficult' immediately the answer 'everyone raises kids, you are no exception ' hits like a bullet.
Why can't a mother have and share the problems she's going through? Why is it taken so negatively when a mother shares her struggles with the people? Stop making women 'Super women' which they are not. We are just normal human beings who are trying everyday to make the ends meet.
Once one of my friends asked how is life after having your child? I told her I haven't slept for 2 years. And that was it. My mother in-law got it all wrong and repremanded saying 'kids are blessings of God you can't just tell people how miserable life becomes after kids.' I understand her point of view but having complaints doesn't mean I am ungrateful for my child. I am more than blessed for this beautiful addition & thoroughly enjoy every moment with him. But I till have my ups and downs. Sometimes it's too much to take but I still somehow drag myself till the end of the day. Whether it's the initial days of post natal care or running around a toddler, e every woman has her struggles and she should be supported not ridiculed for raising her concerns.
Women need to address other women's problems and try to help them as much as possible rather than telling them 'we did that too, you are no different'. Upbringing children is even harder these days due to several reasons.
Let's come together and make our mom community feel better about themselves. Let them complain, hear them out- they may not need a solution but just a kind ear to listen to them. Read more
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Know What it Takes to Survive Adultery in Marriage
Dealing with adultery can be difficult. When trust is broken, it takes a lot of hard work to gain it back. The philandering spouse should be willing to end the affair and work on making the marriage work. Being honest is essential for the re-building process.
Infidelity can be a hard thing to digest. It doesn't just shake up your faith in the relationship, but also makes you question a sea of things. Your children too can bear the brunt of this turmoil. However, you can tide over this sore spot with a little faith, a lot of patience, and the will to bury the hatchet. Here are some ways to overcome adultery the smart mature way, so your family remains tight and you are one with your husband again.
Overcoming Adultery: The Path to Take
1. Ask to Stop the Affair
You need to ask your husband to end the affair before reconciliation can take place. He should be willing to sever all ties with his lover and focus attention on working on your marriage. When he reveals all his secrets, you will be better equipped to find a way to forgive him. When you are honest, it paves the way for a healthy re-building process. Let him know that only when he can be trusted will the relationship heal. Let your children understand this cooling off period, before they assume and harbour negative emotions against either of you.
2. Build Transparency
While the details of your husband's affair will not be pleasant to hear and assimilate, they must be laid out bare if amends are to be made. When coping with adultery, don't be afraid to ask questions about the illicit affair. Try to have these discussions when the kids have been put to sleep. While you may think sharing the sordid details could be emotionally draining, it will instead be cathartic. Besides, you will be appreciative of your husband's honesty and his willingness to speak out. This feeling of transparency will help build trust in your partner and also mend the relationship.
3. In for the Long Haul
If you want to fix things and heal after you've suffered adultery in a marriage, you will have to be patient. You should be able to allow your partner to answer questions and clear doubts six months down the line, if that's what he wants. Don't push. Let him know that if, like you, he too wants to save the marriage, you wouldn't mind waiting for him to open up. Keep in mind – the healing process will not be an overnight success. It will take months, maybe years of work for a relationship to finally feel right again. While you wait through the period, behave normally with your partner in front of the kids. Don't let your issues ruin what you share or do as parents.
4. Balanced Approach
Ensure that you keep your emotions in check. While it's natural to feel rage and a multitude of other emotions, try to keep your head together if you want your partner to open up to you. Your erratic behaviour may make him want to run away from a confrontation or even a talk. Also, you don't want your children to see you in that state. It could scar them emotionally for life and they may never look at you the same way again. If you control your emotions, your partner will be more willing and comfortable disclosing the details of the affair. This will help you get a sense of closure and make healing possible.
5. When You Think it Fit, Forgive
Forgiveness doesn't come cheap and neither should it when its infidelity you're dealing with. It needs to be earned. When you feel right about moving on and forgiving, only then should you do it. However, maintain a cordial relationship with your spouse in front of the children during the reconciliation process. Try to take a family vacation to rediscover and relive the joy that your family once knew. However, never pressure yourself to forgive. Dealing with adultery is never easy and you shouldn't be scared to accept this. Only when you're ready to let go of the negativity and the pain can forgiveness be your next logical step. So, take your time!
Life after adultery is difficult. While some couples resort to drastic measures, some endeavour to sort things out. The latter, which is also the preferred option, requires patience, trust, and effort. Think of your children as one of the main motivating factors to help you work on your relationship. Your little ones deserve a united family, not a broken home. Read more
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The Journey of Pregnancy
During pregnancy, once the nausea phase passes, the 'super energetic' phase comes in. It is the phase where you can do all your normal activities as per your routine (and normal activities do not include lifting heavy objects during pregnancy, you know that!) unless you don't have any specific condition which requires complete bed rest.
A lot of people suggest 'eating for two' to pregnant women at this time. But you don't need to eat for two. Eating nutritious foods at regular intervals work and can keep gastric problems at bay. As your uterus will keep growing, it might put pressure on your bladder and you'll have to make frequent trips to the toilet. Whatever work you are doing or however busy you are, don't control the urge to urinate as 'holding in' might lead to urinary infections.
At this time, you should start with some pregnancy exercises but don't stress yourself. Start slowly and if you are not comfortable performing certain exercises, don't do them. Also, remember that you should perform and even start with exercises only after consulting with a doctor and workout as guided by an instructor. Each body is different. What might've worked for someone else, may not work for you!
In case you feel like vomiting, it's perfectly normal. Watch out for the changes in your vaginal mucus. In case of any bloody discharge or something unusual, you should definitely visit a doctor. Although it's quite rare to have that in your second trimester, it's always good to consult and be on the safer side.
This is the period where you can get your 3d or 4d scans to see your baby. Although you will be going in for these scans in your third trimester as well, an anomaly scan will happen in the second trimester. You will be able to see the body parts of your growing baby. If you're in India, you might not be able to know your baby's gender. Don't try to guess on someone's experience or fix up your mind for a specific gender. It's your precious baby that is growing and its gender doesn't matter. If your family has specific expectations, just smile and turn deaf ears.
You will feel the kicks and the baby will be able to hear your voice in the later stages of your second trimester. If it's your second baby, allow your first one to feel the kicks. He/she can also sing near your tummy. This will allow your older one to bond with the baby. My son wanted to carry his sister the moment he saw her for the first time in the hospital. He started to love her even before her arrival.
Your baby will be growing fast now and you won't fit into your old clothes. So, you can start with maternity shopping. You can buy long maxi dresses which you can wear even after delivery.
This phase is just to enjoy yourself with the energy you get. Always stay positive and happy throughout the pregnancy. Avoid things that stress you. Avoid watching serials or horror movies which might raise your blood pressure. Stay away from people who are full of negativity and keep complaining. In fact, I stopped talking to some of my close relatives during my entire term just because I didn't want to have any negative vibrations around me.
And trust me both my babies always smile. Even while wake up in the morning, they don't cry. They just smile and are happy all the time except when hunger kicks in. Do remember, only a happy mother can deliver a happy child.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
10 hours ago
Q. hi have one question
LT 10x18mm and RT 18x20mm and ET 6.5
what it mean??? and should I start intercourse
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
9 hours ago
A. since you are right follicle is 18 mm yes of course you can start with your intercourse for conception as in 1 to 2 days
their maybe rupture of the follicle by which your sperm should be present there for conception
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
9 hours ago
Q. #asktheexpert
why baby vomit
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
9 hours ago
A. for babies less than 6 months may not be a problem. small babies will be having lot of gas because of various reasons it is advisable to do burping of the baby immediately after feeding please give colimex DF drops to the baby they are safe
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 1 month
9 hours ago
Q. i am 35 weeks 3 days pregnant... my ultrasound report shows that "fl and hl are shorter compared to bpd"... is this anything to worry
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
4 hours ago
A. You should have proper consultation with your treating doctor , as some examination or investigations may be needful, so that proper medications can be given And the treatment can be done very properly.
needs proper follow-up for this
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
9 hours ago
Q. I am 9 week pregnant and I have runny nose very badly can I use cetirizine tablet?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
4 hours ago
A. use nasal drops , that acts faster .
You should have proper consultation with your treating doctor , as some examination or investigations may be needful, so that proper medications can be given And the treatment can be done very properly.
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
9 hours ago
Q. hi,
my LT 10x18mm and RT 18x20mm and ET 6.5 , what if I intercourse after 2 days, can I do intercourse in ovulation day can become a pregent .
on ovulation day if we intercourse can become a pregent..pls advice..
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
4 hours ago
A. since the follicle size is 18 to 20 mm your ovulation may occur within 24 hours also so if you have intercourse with in that time it will be more effective to get conceived
your endometrial growth is not good enough for conception but still you can just try
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
8 hours ago
Q. Hlw dr its my 6th month pregnency can i intimate with my partner
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
7 hours ago
A. Hello dear! If your pregnancy is going on fine without any high risk factors then it’s okay. Still, would advise you to check with your doctor once before going further. Maintain a good personal hygiene routine and a healthy lifestyle
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