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This Is The Real Reason Children Are 100 Times Naughtier With Moms, Not Dads
Think about that time when you are leaving your kids with your husband, perhaps when you have to go shopping or to the salon. You instruct your kids to be good, not disturb Daddy, and go through their activity books. You also tell them not to roll on the floor, scribble on the walls, or ask for ice-cream before dinner. This is usually when the father says – “Oh, you’re too strict. The little ones are perfect angels, we get along very well.” Come evening, as soon as your husband opens the door, the kids are ALL OVER you, demanding chocolate, complaining about siblings, wetting their pants.
Your husband goes on about how the kids were nice and disciplined all day, and somehow your presence changed everything. YOU are to be blamed, somehow. We bet this has happened to you too. Unofficial statistics suggest – kids are 100 times naughtier with moms, than they are with dads! But WHY? Why does a toddler prefer one parent? Well, Kate, a mommy blogger with two kids, has hit upon the EXACT reason this happens.
It so happens that Kate’s kids are completely fine with their daddy all day. But the moment they see Kate, something happens to them and they start being naughty little monkeys! Every now and then, her husband tells her, “They were fine all day with me, but the second they saw you, they lost it, Kate! I don't understand!"
So, why does it happen? What explains why a child acts different with one parent? Kate recently shared the reason on her blog Kate Surfs, and boy, we are completely in agreement!
The Actual Reason a Toddler Behaves Differently With Mom
The reason behind this is emotional. It has to do with a basic human emotion kids know only too well: love, and a sense of security and relaxation in the presence of the one you love. Of course, kids love both their parents, which is why they enjoy spending time and doing fun things with Daddy. But with Mommy, they feel a sense of ‘letting go’ that they feel with nobody else. They can be just the way they want, and express everything they feel, and mommy will somehow put everything right. As Kate puts it:
“YOU, mama, are their safe place. YOU are the place they can come to with all of their problems. YOU, dear mama, are a garbage disposal of unpleasant feelings and emotions. If a child's been holding it together all day, in an unpleasant situation, the second they see you, they know it's time they can finally let go. That means letting go of whatever . . . whining . . . crying . . . their bowels, etc.
If you can't make something better . . . well, then who else can? ”
So that’s the simple reason – an emotional release that your children feel when they see you. It can be very difficult to deal with this, especially when you have had a long and tiring day. However, we need to view it as a sign of love that our kids reserve for us – a kind of no-holds-barred expression of emotion that they cannot show to anyone else, not even their dad.
Is a Child’s ‘Misbehaviour’ With Mom a Bad Sign?
There is no end to the number of people who give advice to a mother – even without being asked. Even in this situation, there are many who tell a mother that she needs to ask her child to behave, and not go wild the moment he sees her. These people see this expression of emotions or sudden tantrums with mommy as a sign of spoiled behaviour. Some even go as far as to say – “Your kids prefer their father to you. That is why they behave badly with you.”
However, what do child development experts say about this?
Rest assured – your child’s misbehaviour or naughtiness in front of you is not a bad sign. It is simply a sign that you have created a safe space for your child where he/she feels comfortable and can express her natural emotions or needs. This is a great lesson as they grow up, for every child must learn how to express their feelings without fear or inhibition. If they can experience this now, with mommy, they are likelier to also grow up more confident and expressive when they become adults.
Kate says –
"You have not spoiled your kids rotten if you are greeted at the door with whining and screaming. Oh no . . . don't let anyone tell you that. Take it as a sign that they love you. Oh, I know . . . it drives us all bonkers-up-the-wall! They save it all for you.”
Free expression is also helpful in teaching kids about bodily functions and body awareness early in life. So, if those bowel functions go haywire even though they were perfectly potty trained during the day, don’t see it as a sign of failure. See it instead as a sign that your child feels free in front of you, and then explore how you can help him resolve the challenges he’s facing.
As for ‘preferring’ their father to you, it is true that toddlers can play favourites. Sometimes, their behaviour may come across as choosing one parent to have fun times with, and starting to cry or misbehave in the presence of the other parent.
One of our mommy bloggers, Swati Shrivastav, wonders – are dads cooler than moms? She says, “I feel jealous of him. How can it be so easy for him? With me, my daughter makes it a point to run everywhere possible, to pick up everything that is on the ground and to throw unnecessary tantrums, with him she simply lets him click her picture wearing different hats that were being sold there. You know, she is partial…”
However, if your little one is choosing to throw tantrums or be naughty when you are around, chances are he actually sees you as someone who will resolve his concerns! Both parents play a major part in bringing up a child, and one shouldn’t see such situations as competitive.
How to Handle Your Child’s Mommy-Special Tantrums
So, now that we know just why our children reserve these special tantrums and misbehaviour for us, what can be done about it? As per experts, the best approach to deal with tantrums is by distracting the child from the source of frustration and getting them to focus on some other favourite object, such as a toy or a book. Parents also need to maintain a calm approach and be patient, never showing that they are losing control of the situation. The little one must understand that mom is there for him and will help him address his frustration in a satisfactory manner.
Watch the video below to see this approach in action, in a simple, step-by-step manner.
https://youtu.be/ER5vZGfVUeY
Here are a few more tips that experts recommend for dealing with tantrums in children:
The very fact that your child feels free to express himself in front of you is a sign that you’re doing something right. Keep up the communication channel between you and your child so he can always be assured of your support and unconditional love
Ensure the kids get to spend more time with their father and with other family members. This will help them develop a closer understanding with them too, and they can start feeling freer around them, just as they do around you
Use lots of hugs and kisses to calm your child. They always work brilliantly for toddlers as they express emotions physically at this age. Mommy’s hugs and kisses work like magic
When your child throws a particularly bad tantrum in front of you, make sure you talk to them about it and help them understand the consequences. Just as positive attention is important to cement good behaviour, an inappropriate act needs to be punished. Just keep the punishment constructive and – for example, a time-out, an early bed-time, denying a longer play-time
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Apple Cider Vinegar During Pregnancy – Is It For You?
Pregnancy is a time when extra care and precaution mus be exercised. A woman’s health goes through various changes like hormonal imbalance and weakening of the immune system. During this period, it is vital that you take care of yourself by utilising any tricks or remedies at your disposal. One of the most beneficial tricks available to pregnant women is consumption of apple cider vinegar.
What Is Apple Cider Vinegar?
Apple cider vinegar (AVC) is one of the most common types of vinegar available. It is made from cider, a type of concentrated apple that has been left to ferment over a period of time. The cider first ferments to alcohol before finally transforming into acetic acid. It is safer to consume pasteurised vinegar, as it is free of harmful bacteria that can cause E. coli in pregnancy.
This versatile ingredient can be used in salads, sandwiches, and mixers. However, it is most beneficial to drink a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar every day. Remember that unfiltered, unpasteurised apple cider vinegar is extremely potent and can burn your oesophagus if consumed raw. It is recommended to dilute a teaspoon of vinegar with a quarter glass of water before consumption.
Is Having Apple Cider Vinegar Safe While Pregnant?
Drinking apple cider vinegar while pregnant is safe, as long as it is pasteurised or diluted. Consumption of raw apple cider vinegar during pregnancy is not recommended due to its potency, its potentially harmful bacterial content, and a weakened state of the immune system during pregnancy. The bacteria in unpasteurised ACV are considered healthy for people who are not pregnant because of the overall strength of their immune systems and the requirement for bacteria of this nature. Pregnant women, on the other hand, must be cautious as a foetus has requirements different to that of a fully developed baby. Another consideration is the antibodies that support the immune system are overworked during pregnancy and may fail to combat the adverse effects of this kind of bacteria.
Benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar
Consuming ACV during pregnancy is highly recommended because of its numerous immunity-boosting and health benefits like:
Preventing Urinary Tract Infections – Apple cider vinegar is known to have enzymes and minerals to help with prevention and treatment of UTIs. It is recommended to dilute the apple cider vinegar; the ideal ratio would be 1 teaspoon of ACV and 1 glass of water. It is recommended to consume that ratio twice a day.
Regulates Heartburn – Pregnant women are commonly afflicted by heartburn around the 12th week of pregnancy . Apple cider vinegar is considered one of the quickest acting natural remedies for heartburn.
Controls Blood Sugar – The enzymes in ACV aid in controlling blood sugar levels. Women who have blood sugar issues during pregnancy often struggle to bring it under control and it could adversely affect their pregnancy.
Moderates Blood Pressure – ACV has minerals that work in cohesion with the enzymes that help control blood sugar to help moderate spikes and drops in blood pressure that are common during the second and third trimester of pregnancy.
Helps Combat Cold – Cold and blocked nose are very common during pregnancy. ACV mixed with warm water helps clear the nostrils, prevents sinus infections and combats viruses like the common cold.
Streamlines Blood Circulation – Apple cider vinegar is known to regulate the circulation of blood. This helps keep you active and energized, especially helpful during pregnancy, as the body feels heavier and more lethargic often during the second and third trimester.
Reduces Swelling & Bloating – A common problem with women during the final trimester of pregnancy is bloating. ACV has medicinal properties that help prevent, manage, and relieve bloating. Anti-inflammatory properties of ACV help reduce swellings as well.
Combats Acne – Another common problem during pregnancy is an acne breakout, especially if you had acne before pregnancy. ACV is known to help keep the skin healthy and clear and helps combat acne.
Apple cider vinegar combats a lot of conditions that pregnant women often are challenged with and is also an excellent source of natural immune boosters.
What Quantity of Apple Cider Vinegar Is Good During Pregnancy?
It is recommended that women who are pregnant consume between 1-2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar a day, diluted with a half or a full glass of water. The frequency can be up to 2 times a day, or as per convenience.
Unpasteurised or Pasteurised Vinegar?
A general rule of thumb would be to go with pasteurised consumables during pregnancy, as they eliminate potentially harmful bacteria. Pasteurised ACV is recommended as it has lower risks and higher rewards.
Possible Risks of Apple Cider Vinegar
Risks of consuming apple cider vinegar are minimal.
Drinking undiluted apple cider vinegar can be harmful to various parts of the digestive system, as it contains acetic acid, which can burn through the oesophagus. Apple cider vinegar can also erode teeth if consumed raw, due to the same acidic properties.
ACV can interact badly with drugs like insulin as well as some diuretics. Seek advice from your primary healthcare physician to see if the drugs you are on can react adversely when combined with ACV.
Tips For Pregnant Women
Here are some tips when consuming apple cider vinegar while pregnant.
Take precautions when consuming apple cider vinegar capsules or supplements. Run it by your doctor first.
Moderate the dosage of consumption of ACV based on an in-depth discussion with your physician.
Don’t combine ACV with other vinegar when consuming. It can increase the acidic potency.
Do not use ACV as a substitute for medication unless your physician says otherwise.
Take precautions when trying to consume ACV mocktails.
To maximise the benefits, buy organic ACV.
Do not consume plain apple cider vinegar as it can erode your tooth enamel and oesophagus. Dilute it in water or any other liquid (non-vinegar/ non-acidic) and drink it.
Immediately rinse your mouth with water after consuming apple cider vinegar to protect your enamel from harm.
Do not consume apple cider vinegar if you are suffering from stomach problems, unless advised by your doctor.
Avoid consuming ACV 30 minutes before or after drinking coffee or tea.
When to Consult Your Doctor
Consult your doctor if you notice any of these signs after consuming ACV:
Red, hot, and itchy rashes on your face
Acidity, indigestion or any stomach related problem
Nausea and vomiting
Dizziness
How to Drink Apple Cider Vinegar
Dilute one spoon of ACV in a glass of filtered water or coconut water and add two spoons of honey. Mix and drink.
Dilute one spoon of ACV in a glass of fruit juice (low-acid) and drink. Add a spoon of honey, if required.
Apple Cider vinegar is beneficial for your body, especially during pregnancy. It has multiple health benefits and is quite safe. Pasteurised apple cider vinegar is recommended for pregnant women. The consumption can be once or twice a day, a tablespoon of vinegar mixed with a glass of water, depending on the dose advised by your doctor.
References & Resources: Healthline Read more
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A Guide to Common Skin Conditions in Children
Rashes, bumps or welts on a toddler’s skin occur due to some common allergies, sickness, heat and cold that cause changes in the skin. These are not usually harmful, and can be treated easily.
Toddlers are exposed to the outside environment a lot more than babies are. Though they are stronger than newborns, their immune systems are still developing and are not robust enough to withstand every infection or allergic reaction. Parents need to detect these conditions and get medical help to treat the problem for speedy recovery.
Video: 6 Common Skin Problems in Children
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93Zac7m_wqE
Common Rashes and Skin Problems in Kids
1. Chickenpox
This used to be quite a common rash among toddlers, but with the introduction of various vaccines, its occurrence has reduced considerably. It is contagious and spreads fast. Sometimes, it can leave itchy rashes and red marks.
Symptoms of Chickenpox in Children
It is easily detected as the child’s body is covered in blister-like itchy rashes. These marks take time to heal. They burst, dry up and then form a crust. It can be accompanied with fever.
Treatment of Chickenpox in Children
You must vaccinate your child in the prescribed age to avoid chickenpox. A mild cream can be applied on the blisters to soothe the itching after consulting your doctor.
2. Ring-worms
This is a common skin problem in toddlers and is caused due to a fungus which lives off dead skin, nail tissues or hair. It can be acquired from other children or animals. If the child shares his clothes or toys with an infected toddler, he could get the rash too. It usually affects scalp, feet and groin but can occur anywhere in the body.
Symptoms of Ring-worms in Toddlers
It starts as a red patch or a bump and transforms into an itchy red ring-like rash. It has scaly or blistery borders and is highly contagious.
Treatment of Ring-worms in Toddlers
Doctors usually prescribe anti-fungal creams for treatment. In case it affects the scalp of the child, then the specialist would recommend an anti-fungal shampoo or medicine.
3. Fifth Disease
This is contagious and is a mild illness which lasts for a couple of weeks in toddlers. It spreads through coughs and sneezes and is the most contagious before the rash appears.
Symptoms of Fifth Disease in Children
The fifth disease has flu-like symptoms and can be recognised by body rash, especially red cheeks.
Treatment of Fifth Disease in Children
This condition can be treated with adequate rest, pain relievers and fluids. Avoid giving aspirin without doctor’s recommendation. If an expecting mother’s first child is suffering from fifth disease, it is advisable to consult a doctor right away.
4. Warts
These are caused due to viruses and are mostly painless and do not cause any damage. They are highly contagious and also spread when you touch an object used by a person who is infected with the virus. Children must be prevented from biting nails as a preventive measure.
Symptoms of Warts in Toddlers
They are usually found on hands and fingers. They are mostly of skin-colour, but can be dark and rough sometimes. Plantar warts can grow on the feet.
Treatment of Warts in Toddlers
Cover them with bandages meant especially for warts or let them heal by themselves as there is no treatment for the condition.
5. Prickly Heat
Sweat causes prickly heat which are basically heat rashes. This usually happens during summer time or by putting on warm and tight clothes on the child.
Symptoms of Prickly Heat in Children
These rashes look like small pimples in red or pink color. They appear on the child’s head, shoulders and neck.
Treatment of Prickly Heat in Children
Most of the times they clear up on their own. In addition, prickly heat powder in combination with an anti-fungal soap available over the counter can be used. You can find a safe prickly heat powder here too.
6. Eczema
Children who are prone to eczema have allergies and asthma as well. The exact reason isn’t clear, but kids with low immune system face this problem. Be careful about rashes with dry skin or intense itching. Atopic dermatitis is a very common type of this disease. It outgrows with time or have milder cases once children grow up.
Symptoms of Eczema in Kids
Atopic eczema usually appears near the elbows, back of knees, ears and eyes. The skin becomes itchy, red and dry.
Treatment of Eczema in Kids
Apply a mild soap and moisturiser over the infected area. You can buy a skin-friendly gentle soap for your baby. Avoid steaming hot baths as they can further dry up the skin. Consult a doctor for medicated creams and ointments that reduce the itching.
Take care of your child’s skin by maintaining a hygienic routine and making him wash his hands regularly to keep infections at bay. As soon as you notice something unusual that is making the child uncomfortable, consult a doctor. Read more
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Understanding Egocentrism in Young Children
Egocentrism in early childhood is quite normal. Toddlers have a different perception of the world around them. They believe that things should go according to what they feel is right. She may feel dreams come alive at night or her imaginary friend is real.
A study suggests that egocentrism is one of the main characteristics of a child’s thought process till around the age of 6 or 7. Experts attribute egocentrism to early stages of cognitive development which might not be present in later periods.
Analyzing The Egocentric Stage of Child Development
1. The Beginning
During the first few months after birth, your little one will be the centre of her universe. Everyone around her will also want to fuel her desires. After crossing the six-week mark, your little one will yearn for social interaction. She will scream out: “Hold me, feed me, burp me!” – these are only some of the examples of egocentrism in toddlers. When she gets positive vibes from certain people, she will form bonds.
2. The Follow Up
When your toddler starts to walk, she begins to explore the spaces around her. Everything from tid bits around the house to even the electrical outlets will be touched or looked at. Your toddler will be curious about her surrounding, and connected to the ‘big people’ who care for her. However, she will show a streak of rebellion when the same people who care for her start to put limits on her behaviour. She definitely wouldn't like other people cramping her style! Wondering an egocentric child is in what stage of development? The answer is around 18 months.
3. Setting Boundaries
Egocentrism in toddlers needs to be nipped in the bud, even if in stages. Setting boundaries is absolutely essential. She will rebel if anyone goes against her ideas of the world. No matter how loudly she protests, setting limits will keep her secure and safe. When your toddler says ‘no’, it deserves a firm response from your end. A temper tantrum should never go unnoticed to curb egocentrism.
4. Their View
Toddlers will always tend to focus on their wants and needs. Their egocentric views mean that their perceptions are clouded by things that are most obvious. For most toddlers, including your little one, seeing is believing. Your toddler might believe that since she can see gifts, she should be able to have them. Childhood egocentrism needs to be dealt with effectively.
5. Forming Bonds
Your toddler’s egocentric views are challenged when they are introduced to kids their own age. When your little one has to play with her friends, she is forced to accept other toddlers’ opinions.Through this exercise, your little one will be pushed to understanding that other toddlers also have a perception of reality that could be different from hers. When your little one exhibits signs of an egocentric personality, it’s time to introduce her to a play group.
To understand egocentrism in children, a thorough reading of Piaget's four stages of cognitive development will help you understand the concept. However, going with your instincts could help you make smarter choices.
Did your child exhibit egocentrism in early childhood? Let us know how you dealt with it. Read more
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Pizza Smileys
Cooking with kids is one activity where you can make up for the time you otherwise don’t get to spend with your kids. This not only teaches them the basic life skill of cooking but also helps in building enormous amounts of self-confidence in them. Your kids will get a hands-on experience and it will also give way to your child’s imagination to run wild. And don’t forget to praise him as he preps up the meal.
Serves
Preparation Time
Cooking Time
4 People
10-15 Minutes
20 -25 Minutes
Ingredients
4 burger buns, cut into half
½ cup pizza sauce
8 cheese slices
Veggies (green, red and yellow pepper, carrot, capsicum, olives), as desired.
Method
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350F. Place the burger bun halves in the oven and let it bake for 5 mins. (In 5 mins it will turn slightly crispy but would still retain the softness).
Step 2
Remove the bun halves from the oven and top each half with pizza sauce followed by the cheess slice. Make sure that the ends of the cheese slice are torn out to fit the circular bun.
Step 3
Place the red pepper as eyes, olive as nose and the green pepper slices as the mouth.
Step 4
You can also make the tongue, cheeks and hair using your creativity.
Step 5
Or you can hand over the buns to your kids and let them make the faces.
Step 6
After all the buns are done, place them back into the oven and bake for another 10 mins.
Step 7
Remove, let it cool and serve with ketchup or mint chutney.
Nutritional Information
Calories
383 K cal
Proteins
20.5 g
Total Fat
20.8 g
Total Carbohydrates
30.2 g
Cholesterol
59 mg
Sodium
723 mg
Potassium
190 mg
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Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. #asktheexpert
I have a question ... my bump is not showing...I have a already 5 month
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
1 hour ago
A. okay no problem wait it will now onwards. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
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Q. #asktheexpert my belly still not growing completely and I can feel my baby in abdomen not upper tummy
Dr Sameer awadhiya
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1 hour ago
A. For the query asked needs consultation with doctor for proper guidance so it is better that the docdggtor will guide you the correct way .
Online consultation can also be taken and the expert will give you the proper answer .
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
56 mins ago
Q. my baby girl is 1 month old she is crying while passing urine nd she is passing urine while feeding pls answer wat to do
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
44 mins ago
A. Both the situations are very normal for a child as a doctor said that the kid can cry extensively sometimes due to stomach pain as well as while passing urine and pooping also also but that is completely normal so nothing to be worried as of now
Abhaya Rajput has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
39 mins ago
Q. need second trimester proper diet
Abhaya Rajput
Mom of a 14 yr 4 m old boy
36 mins ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much. Please take healthy food items including fresh fruits and dry fruits. Please take eggs and chicken. Also drink chicken soup. You can also take banana shake. Please take lots of green vegetables and dairy products and soaked almonds.
Thanks and take care
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
16 mins ago
Q. #asktheexpert my new born baby boy weight @ birth time 2.475kg, after 7 weeks weight 2.90kg. weight gain very slow. Can u pls advise why weight gain is slow till my baby using breastfeeding milk right now.
Dr Ghouse
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12 mins ago
A. failure to thrive please. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
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Q. right now I am 39 week pregnant but never feel any type of pain is it ok my due date is 5/5/24
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A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much. But it is difficult to say anything without any proper examination. It is advisable to get yourself evaluated by your gynaecologist and follow doctors advise properly. You can also book online doctors appointment on First Cry where the doctor can help you and guide you.
Thanks and take care
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