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7 Problems Many of Us Face with Our Sisters-in-Law and How to Solve Them!
When we get married and become part of a whole new family, we have nothing but the best of intentions in our hearts. We want to embrace the new culture and accept everyone as our family members. However, not all of us are lucky enough to get this feeling of acceptance and love reciprocated by our in-laws.
Your sister-in-law should be a friend and confidante, right? She is a fellow woman, whether married or single, and has probably faced similar life situations as you have. Why is it then that so many of us end up facing problems with her? Ego struggles, evil gossip, comparisons, and blame games!
We asked fellow moms about the most irritating problems they are facing/have faced with their sisters-in-law.
Dealing With Difficult Sisters-In-Law
Sisters-in-law come in varying proportions of sugar, spice, and everything nice! But there are a few types that are universal, which we can all identify with. There are certain problems you’re sure to have faced with each kind; here are the most common ones, and what you can do to avoid conflicts and maintain peace!
”You won't believe what Bhabhi said!” - The Tattletale
This sister-in-law doesn’t let go of an opportunity to complain or spread gossip about you! “I asked Bhabhi to give me her new earrings for a party. But she refused.” “Bhabhi made a face when my friend came home the other day.” Bhabhi this, Bhabhi that! Some sisters-in-law just love complaining about you. Everything you do is found fault with and then gets transferred to the ears of your in-laws or even your husband. What’s worse, she cannot keep any secrets either; so, something you may have confided in her about comes out embarrassingly at the next family gathering!
Solution: So, what do you do when your sister-in-law hates you? If your sister-in-law is the gossiping type who loves telling tales, it is best to not trust her with secrets. Try and keep your interactions on personal matters as limited as possible. This applies to social media as well; best not to comment on her pictures if she keeps misconstruing them as interference! It can be the best solution you have to ensure peace at home.
”That's not how he likes his rice cooked!”- The Annoying One
Some sisters-in-law have annoying habits that never fail to exasperate you! Claiming that she knows her brother’s interests more than you do. Visiting at odd hours without calling first. Barging into your room without knocking because “she doesn’t need permission to meet her brother”. Some of our sisters-in-law have really annoying habits that irritate and tire us out. But we cannot complain because she is part of the in-laws and criticising her would be seen as a sign of our bad behavior!
Solution: As long as the habits are manageable, try and laugh them off, or, if she is younger than you, talk to her about them teasingly. But if the habits are making your life difficult, tell her so in plain words. You don’t have to put up with it perpetually.
”That’s not how you should do it!” - The Controlling One
The controlling sister-in-law can be the most tiresome, as they expect you to abide by their rules and regulations, and can try to curb your independence. She may interfere in your decisions, offer advice, and expect them to be followed to a T. One problem that you may have come across in your experience is that she comes over to meet her parents anytime, but you aren’t allowed to do so! It is a sweet and natural thing to do; of course, all of us miss our parents. But when we want to go to our home and visit our parents, we need to DISCUSS with her and the in-laws! We often need to give them a reason and get their ‘permission’ before we can go, even if our parents live in the same city. Isn’t this hypocritical?
Solution: The best thing is to have a heart-to-heart with your in-laws about it. Explain to them that you have a responsibility toward your parents just as you have a responsibility toward your in-laws. They need to trust you to divide your time well and ensure that your duties are not compromised on. With time, let’s hope they will understand.
“When are you going to have a baby? Are you at least trying?” - The Meddlesome One
Always poking her nose about in your business, this SIL needs to know everything that’s going on in your life! “What did Bhaiya give you on your anniversary?” “What did you do the entire day?” The questions can be simple, funny, or just plain irritating! What business is it of hers or anybody else? The details of your married life and personal life are yours alone. It is up to you whether or not you want to share them with anyone. But not answering these questions poses the risk that she may take offense or even complain to her parents. Result: You will be up for catcalls and criticism at family functions and at the dinner table!
Solution: How to get along with sister-in-law like this? Well, a polite smile and a shake of the head are enough of an answer for times when you do not want to answer. Do it a few times and your SIL should get the message that you don’t want to share a particular detail with her (hopefully!). Or just pretend to be bashful, shy, or busy; she will get the hint eventually to not intrude into your privacy.
”When I got married, I'd never once slept past 5.30 am!” - The Judge
Whether it is about your cooking skills or how soon you finish the household tasks, the sister-in-law often “does it better”. Sometimes, it can be your parents-in-law who make this comparison to your face, which feels hurtful. But sometimes, the SIL herself tends to make comparisons about “how she would have prepared that dish” or how “her living room is always spotless”. While aiming to do better is healthy, getting competitive about everything is not at all healthy!
Solution: Getting along with a sister-in-law like this can be tough. Just try and take the comparisons in your stride as long as they are meant as constructive feedback and not blatant criticism. If it starts bothering you or is totally unfair, talk to your in-laws and your spouse about it. Tell them that you and your SIL have different strengths and weaknesses. Constant comparisons serve no purpose but to make you feel small.
”Sorry...the four of us made plans ages ago to go shopping; maybe you can join us some other time?” - The Avoider
As the daughter-in-law, you consult your in-laws with every major decision. You take part in all activities in the household. But you still get vibes from your SIL which make you feel like several matters in the family are “off limits” to you. She keeps you out of major discussions and excludes you from important occasions.
Solution: This is one of the most heart-breaking problems we can face. After trying so hard to accept the new household and family, if the SIL makes us feel we will always be “an outsider”, it can be very damaging to our emotional health. How to deal with sister-in-law issues like this? Please talk to your spouse about the situation and discuss your emotions openly, without making it seem as if you are blaming his parents and sister. It is his duty too to help you be accepted as an intrinsic part of his family.
”My brother was never like this until you came along!” - The Green-Eyed Monster
If she goes out of her way to be rude and mean to you in most situations, you might be dealing with a jealous sister-in-law. This behaviour may vary, though; you might see her make cutting remarks to your face, but tone it down in front of others. She may exhibit happiness at a personal failure you face, without offering any solace or rather, bragging about how she’s never failed at the same thing! Jealousy could crop up as you are now sharing the spotlight that used to shine on her alone, or because she feels that her bond with her family may seem less significant, now that you’re here to ‘take her place’. The resultant tension caused can thus lead to a bad relationship with your sister-in-law.
Solution: The best way to deal with this problem is to be the bigger person. Smile at her, be cheerful and civil, and kill it with kindness. Negative reactions from your end can worsen the situation by unnecessarily bringing other family members into the problem. By expressing any sort of frustration or anger, you will be giving her the reaction that she wants; instead, your unexplained kindness can confuse her. Once she sees that her attempts to bring you down are futile, she will be forced to give up!
Watch: How to Deal With a Jealous Sister-in-Law
https://youtu.be/LLuqwDdoKzo
Phew, we really have a handful when dealing with difficult in-laws after marriage! And then again, some of us are lucky to have sisters-in-law who become our best friends, shopping buddies, late-night phone conversation partners, and people we can trust completely! If you are one of these lucky women, congratulations! But if sister-in-law problems have become a constant pressure point for you, try out the above solutions and see if the situation improves. Confide in your husband and talk to him about how this is stressing you out, without being accusatory. When you have his support by your side, everything will become easier to deal with. Read more
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All About Diapers! Is It Safe for Your Baby or Not?
"Is diaper safe or not?"A question in every mommies mind either she is expecting a child or a mommy of newborn. Different people have different reviews regarding this. Elders usually keep diapers in unsafe category. According to them nowadays mommies using diapers for there convenience.They even think that wearing diapers can widen his legs and can cause infertility too.This is wrong.According to modern mommies they know what is best for their babies. Diapers are very much convenient for working ladies as they know they have to keep there child to maid in this way they can't trust baby sitters .
Diapers are made of breathable material which are specially designed for newborns and it's totally safe. Diapers used with proper precautions will never harm at all.
Cloth Diapers v/s Disposable Diapers
Generally new mommies get confused between cloth diapers and disposable diapers.Both have it's own advantage and disadvantage.
1. Cloth Diapers
Advantages
One of major advantage of cloth diapers is that it's cheaper than disposable diapers.No need to buy bulk.just wash well and reuse again.It also makes toilet training easier for child
Disadvantage
it is more time consuming then disposable diapers.If baby spoiled it first you have to wash it immediately then put another diaper which is much time consuming.
2. Disposable Diapers
Advantages
It consumes less time.just take it off, roll it and throw it in dustbin. It is easy to carry a baby in disposable diapers without worrying about pee or poop.
Disadvantage
Damaged or soiled disposable diapers can cause pollution and it's non bio-degradable.
Things to Keep in Mind while Diapering a Baby
Keep an eye on babies skin while changing diapers .Some babies have sensitive skin so check if there is any rash on diaper area
It is important to change diapers frequently.Must change diapers after every 3 to 4 hours. Keeping baby in wet diapers can increase chances of catching cold.
If baby poop in diaper then it's important to change diapers immediately
Always keep extra diapers in bag or purse to make your outing easy
How to Make Baby Wear a Diaper
Open diaper and keep it under your baby,lift his legs and feet gently.Back part of diaper should be about level with babies bellybutton
Bring front part of diaper up between babies legs and also into his belly
Stick tape from both sides carefully .it should not be very tight or loose.
How to Choose a Diaper Size
For new born babies you can try two sizes either extra small or small.As baby grow weight increases go with size according to weight as mention on every pack of diaper. Always go for lil loose diaper to avoid rashes .
Rash Free Diapers
Diapers used with proper precautions will never harm at all. Tips to prevent rashes
Before diapering a baby always apply coconut oil first.
When you remove diaper first clean it with water then apply oil then make him wear diaper.
Always choose a little big size or loose to prevent baby from rashes.
Change diapers frequently. Dont keep baby in spoiled diaper otherwise it can cause rashes
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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How to Prepare Your Child for School - Top 10 Tips
Going to school for the very first time can be can be frightening for children and nerve-racking for the parents. The prospect of going to a new place full of strangers and being away from the parents can be quite daunting for any child. This article explains various ways to prepare your child for school.
Ways to Prepare Your Child for School
How to prepare your child for preschool is a question that several parents have. Most children get anxious at the thought of going to someplace new and meeting people they have never seen before. You can help your child overcome the anxiety about starting school by fostering an enthusiastic and positive attitude towards school. Here are 10 ways to prepare your child for starting school:
1. Explain the Schedule
To know how to get ready for the first day of school, your child should first understand what a school day will be like. Explain your child about the regular schedule of a school. Tell her who will be in class with your child, and what she is expected to do. Make her practice eating from a lunch box. Make your child practice sitting still and listening to instructions. This will prepare her for sitting in the classroom for long and following the teacher’s instructions.
2. Visit the School Together
If the school has an orientation session prior to the starting date, make sure you attend it with your child. This way, you and your child can get an idea of what the school premises look like. You will also be able to meet the teacher and other parents. Your child can befriend other children who will be her classmates once the school begins. Even if there is no orientation, arrange to visit the school with your child.
3. Try on the Uniform
Try on school uniforms. This will get your child excited about going to school in a uniform. If there is no uniform, you can buy school supplies and let your child pack them in a school bag. This is a way for your child to practice packing her own school bag.
4. Ask Your Child How She Feels
Ask your child how she feels about going to school. Do not dismiss her fears or concerns. Make a note of your child’s reaction when there are conversations about school. See if your child reacts enthusiastically or anxiously. Try to reassure your child by answering all her questions. Encourage your child by fostering positive behaviour.
5. Point Out the Positives
Point out the positives about school in a cheerful and enthusiastic manner. Tell her how making new friends and learning new things can be a lot of fun. You can also tell your child stories about how school was fun for you when you were a child.
6. Have a Play Date with Other Kids in the Same Class
Organise a play date with other children who are going to be your child’s classmates. This way, your child will already have friends in the class before the school begins. Teach your child to say hello to her classmates and teacher.
7. Regularise the Sleep Routine
Sleep is very important for growing children. It is important to sleep early and wake up early on school days. A few days before school begins, start getting your child to bed early and train her to wake up early. This way, the child’s sleep routine becomes regular, and she will not be fussy and sleep deprived while going to school.
8. Train Her for Academic Readiness
School can be challenging if your child has no prior preparation. Before school begins, encourage your child to read and write her own name. Teach her the basics of numbers, colours, and letters of the alphabet. Let your child do artwork like finger painting or making shapes using modelling clay. This will help your child develop fine motor skills that are required for writing. Read to your child every day. Children who have experience with books will find it easy to learn to read. Reading to your child also helps her develop listening abilities. This will even prepare her when she goes for her admission interview in a school. Play games with your kid that involve listening to instructions and waiting for her turn to speak. This will prepare her for following instructions in school.
9. Ensure That Your Child Can Use the Toilet Independently
Children will have to use the toilet on their own in school. So, practice with your child and teach her how to manage bathroom door locks. Tell her to ensure that her dress is back in place before leaving the bathroom stall. Also, teach the child to flush the toilet and wash hands after use.
10. Train Your Child to Take Care of Her Things
Make your child understand that it is important to take care of her belongings. Teach her to put things like books, pencils, erasers, crayons, etc. back into her bag after use. Also, teach her how to pack up and store the lunch box in her bag after eating lunch. Let your child assist you in labelling all the belongings that are required for school. This way, the child will get used to recognising her name in print and will know which of the supplies belong to her.
Children can get nervous about going to school for the first time. Some children even have school phobia. With a little help from parents, children can overcome this fear and make learning fun. Before starting school, make sure that you teach your child about fire and road safety. Explain to your child how to handle things when an adult or another child makes her feel uncomfortable. You can also come up with a goodbye routine to make sure your child does not feel anxious about leaving you. When you leave your child at school, do not sneak out without saying goodbye, as this will make your child feel distressed. Instead, say goodbye calmly and explain that you will be back once school ends for the day.
Also Read: Is Boarding School Right for Your Child Read more
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Retroverted Tilted Uterus During Pregnancy
The uterus is a pear-shaped, hollow organ where the foetus grows during pregnancy. This organ nurtures the baby throughout the duration of pregnancy. A healthy uterus is, therefore, a prerequisite for the healthy growth and safe delivery of the baby. Sometimes, physical anomalies may affect the uterus affecting pregnancy and childbirth. One of these conditions is a retroverted uterus. Read on to all you need to know about this condition.
What is Retroverted Uterus?
The uterus in a woman is usually in a straight, vertical position in the pelvis. Some women may have a tilted or a tipped uterus where it is tipped or tilted backwards inside the pelvis. The uterus is called retroverted when in such a condition.
How Common is It?
It is not uncommon to have a tilted uterus. Around 20% of women have a retroverted uterus. Although the condition itself is not associated with any health disorder, it can have painful symptoms or be an indication of any underlying health disorder.
Causes of Retroverted Uterus
There can be several causes which may lead to a retroverted uterus in women. The causes include:
The problem of a retroverted uterus can be genetic where the woman is born with a tilted uterus.
During pregnancy, as the uterus enlarges, the ligaments which hold the uterus in place become weak or lose their tension resulting in a tilted pelvis pregnancy and a retroverted uterus. The uterus returns to the normal, forward position after delivery in most cases, but may at times fail to do so.
The uterus can slip into a retroverted position after menopause as the oestrogen levels dip. This weakens the ligaments which hold the uterus in place giving rise to this condition.
Health issues such as endometriosis or pelvic inflammatory disease can also cause a retroverted uterus. These health conditions can cause the formation of scar tissues inside the abdomen and move the uterus out of position.
Symptoms of Tilted Uterus When Pregnant
Women may or may not experience symptoms related to retroverted uterus. However, the major symptoms of the condition are as follows:
Dyspareunia – Women with this condition can experience severe pain and discomfort during sexual intercourse.
Dysmenorrhea – Tilted uterus can also cause severe pain during menstruation (before and after pregnancy).
The pain experienced in both the above cases is because of the pressure placed on the rectum and ligaments around the tailbone by the tilted uterus.
Women may also experience general symptoms like:
Infection in the urinary tract.
Pain and difficulty in using tampons.
Lower back pain, especially during intercourse.
Lack of control over bowel movement and urination. This condition is known as incontinence.
Although rear, infertility can also be one of its symptoms.
If any of these symptoms persist for long period of time, you should consult your doctor and get diagnosed for a retroverted uterus.
Can it Affect the Pregnancy?
Generally, the uterus corrects its position between 10th and 12th weeks of pregnancy. This minimizes the risk of pregnancy and labour. Tilted womb and getting pregnant can get complicated if the uterus does not move into the correct position before delivery. Although rare, this can result in a miscarriage. You should let your doctor know about the tilt of the uterus at the very beginning.
Can a Retroverted Uterus Prevent Pregnancy?
Trying to conceive with a tilted uterus should not hinder or prevent pregnancy. A retroverted uterus is linked to infertility only after all other possibilities that can lead to infertility have been ruled out. Trouble in getting pregnant due to a tilted uterus is rare.
How is Diagnosis Done?
A simple pelvic examination or an abdominal ultrasound by your doctor can identify a retroverted uterus. In case you experience any symptoms related to this condition, you should seek advice from your doctor and get tested for the condition.
Treatment
On getting pregnant, the uterus will move forward into the correct position and will not need any treatment. In case where the uterus does not correct itself, or if the position needs to be corrected before pregnancy, a simple surgery will help reposition it. Repositioning of the uterus will provide relief from menstrual pains and pains that are experienced during sexual intercourse due to a tipped position of the uterus.
What are the Other Ways to Reposition a Tipped Uterus?
Apart from correction by surgery, the uterus can also be repositioned by the following methods:
Knee Chest
This is an exercise which will help to reposition a retroverted uterus temporarily. This exercise will not be helpful if the changes have occurred after delivery as a result of pelvic infections, fibroid tumours or endometriosis.
Pessary
A pessary is a plastic or silicon device which is placed in the vagina in order to reposition the uterus temporarily. A pessary is used as a temporary solution only as prolonged use of the device may lead to vaginal infections.
Changes That May Happen to a Tilted Uterus After Pregnancy
The position of the uterus after delivery depends on various factors such as the weight gain, and the stretching of ligaments. The uterus may or may not settle in an upright position, but the good news is that the position is not going to affect future pregnancies in any way.
Is There Any Prevention?
There is no way to prevent retroverted uterus especially if the tilt is genetic and present by birth. However, since diseases and infections such as endometriosis or pelvic inflammatory disease can also cause tilted uterus, they should be treated at the earliest after discovery.
A retroflexed uterus during pregnancy does not pose a risk to the baby or to the pregnancy itself and in most cases; the uterus corrects itself as the pregnancy progresses. Hence, any surgery to correct the backward uterus in pregnancy may not be necessary.
Although the retroverted uterus does not impact pregnancy in most cases, it is important to be aware of the condition and consult your doctor about the possible complications it can lead to during pregnancy. A retroverted uterus can be corrected by means of surgery to provide relief from the pain and discomfort associated with it. In cases where the tilted uterus is as a result of any infection or disease, it is important to get the infection treated at the earliest.
Also Read: Inversion of the Uterus - Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment Read more
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Changing weather and the most common problem of cough, flu and cold ; here are the homemade remedies
Listed herein are the homemade remedies for the most common symptoms of flu, cold and cough. Almost all remedies are tried by me and are of great help. Do try !
1. To a cup of boiled milk add half tablespoon turmeric powder and 2-3 pinches of black pepperand sugar. Drinking this boiled milk before going to bed like tea develop good immunity and also relieves from cough and cold and flu symptoms. This milk could be given to kids as well but make sure to cool it down before giving this to a toddler.
2. In the early morning hours drinking a glass of warm water, added to it rocksalt and half lemon juice squeezed to it will be of relief in cold.
3. Boiling 250 ml of milk, to it add two dried dates till half remains and drinking this milk will relieve symptoms of cold.
4. Applying and massaging warm mustard oil on the feet, legs and nose will also relieve from cold symptoms.
5. Take about one cup of water, add to it about 7-10 basil leaves, 4 crushed pepper, 4 crushed cloves and crushed ginger. Boil this mixture in a pan. When 1/4th remains, seive the water , you can add a pinch of rock salt and drink it like tea.
Sneezing
Roast about 4-5 tablespoon of carom seeds( ajwain) in a pan. Tie it in a thin cotton cloth. Now inhale the fumes.
This is also a good remeedy for babies. Keep this potali near babies pillow safely and let him inhale its fumes. Babies frequently have blocked nostrils when asleep due to cold and this is a great remedy.
Bodyache
Massaging warm mustard oil and salt added to it all over the body will relieve from bodyache due to cold.
Throat pain and hoarse voice due to cold
1. The best remedy is to add salt to warm water and gargle on regular basis , atleast 3-4 times a day.
2. Warm betel leaf juice in mustard oil and apply it over your neck.
Cough in itself is not a disease , rather it is a symptom of other diseases like bhronchitis, asthama, tuberculosis, cold , pneumonia etc.
Basically cough has three categories
1. Dry cough - coughing without mucous
2. Wet cough - coughing with mucous
3. Whooping cough - 'whoop' sound while coughing and getting cough attacks frequently are the symptoms of whooping cough.
Cure for Cough
1. Protect the patient from cold and give lukewarm water to drink.
2. Take black pepper powder (2 pinches) with honey ( 1 tablespoonful) for two times a day.
3. In plain cough , ginger juice and honey mixture to be taken together.
4. For cough in kids, take betel leaf juice and add honey to it. This mixture will be of great use for cough in kids.
5. Fry and roast two cloves on a pan, grind it and add to warm milk. This will relieve kids from cough.
For whooping cough
1. Fried and roasted cloves powder and honey mixture will be of great relief in whooping cough.
2. Boil garlic pieces in mustard oil, let it cool down and apply this oil on child's chest and back.
Do write in comment box if these remedies really helped you. Read more
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
4 hours ago
Q. ma lmp 28.9.2023 edd date 5.7.2024 ma age 25.7.1999 ma beby boy or girl plsss tell me mam
Dr Ghouse
Paediatrician
4 hours ago
A. be not possible to tell. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Dr. Minal Acharya has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
3 hours ago
Q. Hii...., Is it safe to eat jackfruit in 4th month of pregnancy, daily 2 ...
Dr. Minal Acharya
Nutritionist
3 hours ago
A. dear mam, you can eat jackfruit during the 4th month of pregnancy. there is no problem in having it. you can eat all types of seasonal vegetables and fruits even green leafy vegetables.
shahin has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 2 months
2 hours ago
Q. is that positive result??? my Due date is tommoro I am having vomitting and nausea and back pain etc please reply asap
shahin
Mom of a 6 m old boy
1 hour ago
A. yes
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
2 hours ago
Q. Hi I'm in 23weeks pregnancy
my afi is 26 I have no diabetes or any other issues
is that risky ? what to do for making normal delivery possible
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
1 hour ago
A. yes AFI level is very high and yes you need to be very careful to have regular follow up with your doctor take the precautions advised by your doctor and regularly keep a watch on baby movements
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. nasal congestion during 9th week pregnancy is normal or something serious?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
1 hour ago
A. it's ok . take steam twice daily or you can use nasal drops
You should have proper consultation with your treating doctor , as some examination or investigations may be needful, so that proper medications can be given And the treatment can be done very properly.
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 5 months
13 mins ago
Q. Is there any issue with this test
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
12 mins ago
A. You have not given any details about us to what test are you talking about or anything associated with that for that matter can you please repost your question with all the necessary details required to understand your question as accordingly I can assist you on that
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