Videos you might be interested in
Videos you might be interested in
Videos you might be interested in
Suggested for you
5 Unique Marriage Problems Indian Moms Face After Childbirth - and How To Fix Them
The transition from being a couple to becoming a family is something you will always cherish. However, the experience can also leave you more than a bit surprised, especially in your married life. The husband-wife relationship after a baby often suffers as you both adjust to your new responsibilities as parents. There's not much time for each other and this can hit you hard. The good news is that there are some effective ways to help you deal with these marriage problems after your baby is born...
What Changes Really?
The addition of a new member to the family brings added responsibilities and the need to divide your time. Adjusting to the sleeping schedule of your newborn, changing diapers on time, nursing the baby, and getting the usual household chores done becomes part of everyday life. Almost all relationships after childbirth take a back-seat. But new moms and dads can face a particularly difficult time adjusting to the new routine. Add to that the lack of sleep and it's only natural that personal relationships suffer!
But other than the usual things that you do expect after marriage, there are some very challenging problems that Indian women face in particular. These can take a little getting used to and need you to work at resolving them before they become all-consuming.
1. Interference by In-laws
If you live in a joint-family after marriage, it is likely that your in-laws play a part in your decisions as a family. It is all very well in the beginning but some days you just wish you were back home with your own parents, with the liberty to be grumpy about invasion! With your in-laws, you know that's not going to work in your favour. And now especially after your baby, your in-laws may want to shower your baby with all the love possible but also shower you with advice (the unwanted kind). How do you politely say no?
The fix: Speak to your husband. Tell him you love if your baby could be raised by the two of you alone. Tell him you know that his parents mean well and that you are OK with the occasional advice from them. Let him gently speak to his parents so that it doesn't get too ugly.
2. Judgement If You And Hubby Spend Some Time Alone
There is no dearth of opinions when there's a new baby in an Indian household. The list of do's and don'ts is exhaustive and honestly you are quite exhausted already. So, when you decide to keep baby with in-laws or your parents, watch out of the odd aunty who may gasp at how selfish you are being.
The fix: Ignore. You know what's best for your baby. A lot of relationships go through strain after a baby just because you do not spend enough time together. If the two of you have been smart enough to work on yourselves, by all means go for it. Your baby gets time to bond with the grandparents and other family members too, so everybody is happy.
3. Expectation to Handle the Baby By Yourself
While there is no shortage of advice, the actual execution of all the baby care is expected by the mother alone. Your husband is meant to provide financially and you are meant to be the caregiver. This atrocious norm leads to an exhausted mother and a lack of bonding between father and child.
The fix: Hopefully, your husband too disagrees with this general view and you can both raise your baby equally. In fact, we would suggest you educate people by example. A union of mother and father is beautiful and more so when your baby can equally depend on both of you for comfort and care.
4. Being Considered Unfit to Handle Finances
Have you been repeatedly told to let your husband handle the money while you should just relax? What if you don't want to? A lot of new mothers find it very crippling to have to depend on someone else financially, especially if they have worked before. But an Indian mom returning to work after motherhood has to face all kinds of criticism, including how she doesn't care a bit about leaving her baby all day!
The fix: Do not take offence to anyone you says woman can't handle finances but continue to find ways to support yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks as long as you believe you are fit to take care of your needs.
5. Marriage Takes a Backseat
While some couples realise the importance of bonding even after a baby, some may get overwhelmed with responsibility and put their roles as parents before their roles as spouses. Understand that romance isn't dead once you are done making babies and that intimacy only strengthens your communion as parents, eventually helping your child too.
The fix: No matter how drained you both are, take the time to discuss your day with each other. Talk about things other than your baby even if it's just a 10-minute discussion over dinner. It can make a world of difference. Divide the household chores between yourselves and try to take frequent naps to keep your energy up. As things begin settling into a routine and your baby is a few months old, make plans to go out as a family. Being away from home for even a couple of hours can be refreshing and stimulating. Once your child is old enough to be left in the care of a trusted family member or a sitter, go out as a couple. Rekindle your romance over a candlelit dinner, a movie or even just a long walk.
With a new baby around it may be difficult to fit in time for romance and intimacy. But, with a little planning and good time management, there's no reason you can't make things work. Ask your parents to play babysitters if you're planning a date. They'll be only too eager to pamper your little darling!
So moms, know that your marriage will surely change after your baby is born, but it's all a part of life. Be patient and give each other time. Remind yourself that things will get much easier as you cross the first few tough months.
Read more
Suggested for you
Gifted Children - Characteristics and Challenges
Parents look at their children in great admiration and are proud of how they progress in life. In the early stages of life, there might be instances where your child seems a lot more talented or sharp than the kids of his age or seems to grasp things very quickly and discover things that you wouldn’t have even thought of quite easily. Recognizing the right signs and understanding if your child is gifted or not is key to ensuring they are raised and developed the right way.
What is a Gifted Child?
Before identifying gifted children, it becomes necessary to define them first. A gifted child has a high level of mental ability or is extraordinarily good in a specific area of knowledge. Most countries consider a child to be gifted if his IQ score stands at 130 or beyond that. However, a gifted child could be great in different areas, such as verbal, mathematical, visual, art, musical, or even interpersonal communication.
Common Characteristics of Gifted Kids
There are certain common traits of a gifted child that can easily help you realize if your child is one.
1. Learns Rapidly and has Strong Reasoning Capabilities
Your child is able to learn new things faster than others and can reason each aspect of learning clearly and concisely.
2. Talks Confidently Early in Life With a Good Vocabulary
Your child has comparatively less fear of public speaking or making his opinion heard, and is able to spell out his thoughts using the right words and sentence structure.
3. An Avid Reader and Asks a Lot of Pertinent Questions
Your child likes reading a lot and does not hesitate from asking questions.
4. Extremely Curious and a Very Strong Memory
Your child is generally curious about a lot of things and seems to recall many things instantly from memory.
5. High Levels of Concentration for Extended Periods of Time
Sitting for long periods of time and concentrating on a single problem or a book does not seem to be difficult for your child.
6. Pursues Anything that Interests them Right to The End
Once something catches his attention, your child will make sure to pursue it until it is completed.
7. Enjoy Solving Problems and Find Unique Solutions in Strange Ways
Brain teasers and puzzles light up your child’s eyes and he ends up solving them in ways that are quite unusual.
8. A Vivid and Unusual Imagination
Your child tells stories and talks about fantastical worlds or inventions with a lot of detail.
9. Has Strong Opinions and Believes Strongly in Justice
Being fair and just with everyone is how your child usually is and doesn’t feel fear to take a stand.
10. Prefers Spending Time with Adults than Children of Their Age
Your child is more comfortable having conversations with adults than playing around with kids his own age.
Gifted Children Problems/Challenges
As special as they might be, there are gifted child behavior problems that parents need to be aware of and handle with care.
1. Burnout and Exhaustion
Gifted children are usually high on energy and pursue their interests by giving it their all. This causes them to get exhausted soon and deplete their energy reserves since their body is just catching up in growth. Moreover, taking care of the usual tasks of completing homework, keeping everything organized, being perfect at everything, can get extremely stressful for them, and leave them not wanting to pursue what they want to.
2. Issues Regarding Attention and Organization
Gifted children tend to think of things in abstract ways and abstract thoughts, and get bored of normalcy quite easily. This leads to them having issues with paying attention or keeping things organized.
3. Difficulty in Making Friends
This is one of the major problems gifted children face. On the outside, they may seem extremely mature when it comes to social interaction, but internally they feel lonely and sad amongst their peers. They may find nothing in common with their classmates or may have difficulty in joining in group activities. This could primarily be because of their tendency to do things better than others which results in them being perceived as arrogant.
4. Difficulty in Being Patient
If they encounter something they cannot quickly understand or might not be good at a particular activity at the beginning, they get angry at themselves or may abandon the activity altogether. When it comes to other children, they get frustrated by the fact that their classmates take longer to understand simple concepts that they have grasped already.
5. Unrealistic Expectations
Gifted children expect highly of their own selves. If they have been getting consistently good grades, a single low grade can destroy them from within, and be a shock for the parents, too. They tend to set extremely high expectations for themselves and are immediately distraught when they fail to meet them.
6. Issues Regarding Control
Most gifted children like to run things their own way. You may have noticed where kids insist on doing things themselves and hate it when parents interfere. Over time, this nature of doing things a particular way might make others interpret it as arrogance or being bossy, which also might lead to them being fearful of taking risks.
7. Being a Perfectionist
It always has to be perfect for gifted children. This makes them high-achievers throughout life. They might procrastinate a lot or spend absurd amounts of time getting things right down to the finest detail. On seeing an average performance in other aspects of life, gifted children might tend to add even more effort in those areas, without realising that it consumes a lot of time, leaves them tired, and affects their health as well.
8. Feeling Guilty
Yes, gifted children feel guilty about being gifted. They recognize their own talents and may feel a yearning to give it back or share it with others in some manner. This might manifest in good social behavior where they help out others and contribute to causes, but when powered by guilt, they might go the extra mile and lead to being taken advantage of as well.
9. Issues Regarding Self-Esteem
At times, this gift can become a curse for children, making them feel isolated and different from their friends and classmates. Gifted children end up being bullied at times or even have to combat depression. Many studies have shown that gifted children struggle a lot with social difficulties and feelings of sadness. They tend to talk themselves down and be negative towards their own behavior, leading to mood swings and erratic habits.
How can Parents and Teachers Help Gifted Children?
Parenting a gifted child is no less than a challenge. Not only does it come with the usual difficulties of a child, but it also has the extra responsibility of protecting and caring for the gift they come with.
Allow them the space to do their own things in situations with no specific outcomes.
Give them opportunities to take risks and let them fail in non-threatening ways.
Find other gifted children and try to make them a part of the community
Request your child’s teacher to spend some time specifically with your child to cater to his needs.
Give them activities that teach them the necessity to balance urgent work and one requiring deep thought.
Introduce them to a questioning process that is structured to bring into action their higher-order thinking.
Let them take the initiative and solve problems while giving them minimal instructions.
Provide them with opportunities that help them develop their skills in the direction of their choosing.
Encourage them to use alternative techniques that stray away from the norm.
Provide them work that challenges their creativity and imagination.
Give them projects that have clear instructions as well as ones that don’t have any.
Have an internal understanding that social maturity isn’t connected to intellectual prowess.
Make them experience a variety of teaching and learning techniques.
Try to reduce repetitive work and replace with acts that help in enriching what they know.
Allow them to understand the differentiation amongst various activities and strategies.
Give them time and opportunity to figure out things for themselves.
Support them in times of need and give them the emotional guidance that kids generally require.
Difference Between a Bright Child and a Gifted Child
People usually term extremely bright children as a god gifted child. But, there are some differences between bright and gifted children that are described below respectively.
One knows the answer while the other asks more questions.
One is interested while the other is very curious.
One pays attention while the other gets fully involved.
One has good ideas while the other has unusual ones.
One works really hard while the other scores better with minimal work.
One answers the questions while the other further asks questions to the answer.
One tops the class while the other is in a separate class of themselves.
One listens attentively while the other portrays strong opinions.
One learns easily while the other is already aware of it.
One masters it in 6-8 repetitions while the other gets it in a couple of those.
One understands ideas well while the other creates abstract theories.
One enjoys with friends while the other seeks out adults and older children.
One understands the meaning while the other creates a theory.
One completes assignments while the other starts new projects.
One is good at copying while the other is good at creating.
One absorbs information while the other applies knowledge.
One is a technician while the other is an inventor.
One enjoys clarity while the other enjoys complexity.
One memorises well while the other guesses well.
One is pleased with his performance while the other still wants to keep doing better.
Gifted children are rare and having one of them is bound to make your life a roller coaster ride. Give them the time and support they need and allow them to blossom on their own accord. A star needs to shine by itself and it will.
Also Read: Signs Which Show You Have an Intelligent Baby Read more
Suggested for you
Suggested for you
Life Through the Eyes of a New Bride - A Tribute to Women
Today I step into a new role, a different phase of my life - That of a wife; that of a married woman. And like any other woman in my place, I am too experiencing butterflies in my stomach. Oh God! It’s a pity that only females have to go through all this. Till yesterday I was this happy-go-lucky girl who would take the world in her own stride, come what may. But today, things seem to be a tad too different. Suddenly, I wake up one morning to an all new world. No familiar surroundings. No familiar faces. No, “beta, get up! You’ll be late today.” Just those people around whom I hardly know or have met only a couple of days back.
I still have a very vague remembrance of my toddler days when I used to cry out loud and bring the house down just to avoid going to school. But back then, I was in the warmth of my mother’s care, who was fully prepared every time to deal with my tantrums just in case if things went out of control. Teenage was no different. Apart from the slight variations to my physical being, rest everything was unchanged. Making my mom shout out loud had somewhat become a favourite pastime for me. Today when I look back, everything just seems like a dream. It seems as if everything just went away quickly. It seems that the thirty years that I have walked on this earth have become only a matter of thirty days for me suddenly. I have started to miss those days already. I wish I could enjoy more of the pampering or even the nagging of my mom for that matter. God…why don’t you insert a rewind button in the human system? I am sure many would have benefited and offered you more praises and thanks for this one favour.
Cut to today - Today I stand here, surrounded with all the worldly pleasures (or I can say pressures) that come handy with being a new bride, or should I say, daughter-in-law. Responsibility. Responsibility. Responsibility everywhere. First and foremost, responsibility towards your hubby dearest. Second, responsibility towards your in-laws. And last but not the least, responsibility towards your extended family. Gone are the days when I shouted “Mummy, kya banaya hai? Achcha nahi he. Muje nahi khana". Now mostly the dialogues have turned to “Mummyji, khana kaisa hai? Table par laga du?” asking your mom-in-law (politely of course). Quite a metamorphosis. Isn’t it?
But then, it is a part and parcel of a women’s life. My grandmother did it. My mother did it. And now it’s my turn. To live for my family. To give away all that I have received from my mother as a part of her sacrifices. I literally have to come to terms with this fact now. It’s no more a girl’s world for me from now onward. With this new phase comes a new life – a life that will be mostly lived to make my family happy. My husband, my kids, and so on…of course, there is the in-laws part, but I can be content for now that it will not be much of that. I hope…
All this sounds too good. Yes truly. After all, what is a woman’s life minus the sacrifices? Whether she is a career-oriented woman or a housewife. There is a phase in her life when she has to go through a part of this, though not all. All this may seem very simple, but believe me...it’s not as simple as it sounds. Really. Salute to the creation called “WOMAN". I am glad that I am one.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
Suggested for you
Is Coffee Good or Bad For You? Let's Put an End To This Debate Forever!
Is it good? Is it bad? I mean, it's time to put this coffee debate because it's messing with some real emotions here! For those who can't do mornings with a nice hot cuppa, you know what we mean, right?
While there’s a category of foods mighty burgers and hotdogs, the perfect pizzas and brownies and the prerequisite for every party - drinks) looked down upon by nutritionists, there’s a second category these smart folks were born to propagate. This includes salads, fruit juices, leafy greens, skimmed milk, lean meats (read: all things healthy). There’s yet another category that is always left out in the open and debated on. It is the category of poor coffee (and caffeine-containing products). For years, many educated people have been arguing for or against the puny mug of java. Nonetheless, there are innocent souls waiting for the endless rebuttals to yield a conclusion. Let us pledge not look for “Is coffee good or bad for you?” in our search engines anymore. Let us search for the right answer and let’s begin right here.
1. Moderation Is The Key
Extreme of everything is bad (except shoes). When you, very frequently, indulge in something such as caffeine, you’re bound to notice an instant boost of energy, both physically and mentally. But overdoing it will only result in you becoming hyperactive at first, then gradually feeling your energy drain out as the effect fades away. But, wait a minute. There are these little glands called adrenal glands that get affected every time you chug down a cuppa joe. The body’s fight or flight response gets activated every time you drink a cup of coffee. This means that instead of releasing adrenaline, the adrenal glands start releasing a hormone in response to the coffee that you are consuming. Over time, the adrenal glands start to burn out from overuse. Basically, avoid coffee or keep the consumption to a bare minimum.
2. Cup-Size Matters
Keeping in mind the amount of intake in a single go is as important as keeping a tab on how frequently you consume your coffee. You might begin to perspire more than normal or have an increased heartbeat, apart from feeling restless and blabbering on just about anything.
3. Every ‘Body’ Is Different
We all can name at least one person who eats like a pig and still looks undernourished. Metabolism plays its role here. Since, the tendency of the body to react towards a certain food item could vary a great deal from one individual to another, a given quantity of coffee could be ‘just the right amount’ to lend a glow to one face, whilst aggravating breakouts for someone whose skin is prone to acne. If coffee is so important to you (which we’ll assume it is), get a nutritionist to gauge how much is okay for you or if it is okay at all.
4. Weigh Your Requirements At The Moment
Coffee is a blessing for someone who is trying hard to stay awake all night to study. On the other hand, for a person who needs a sound sleep to wake up early the next morning, taking a cup of coffee late in the evening will only make him blame the caffeine for insomnia. If you have a relatively normal routine, 2 cups of coffee had through the day but restricted to 3 hours before bedtime are okay.
5. ‘Weather’ To Have It Or Not
Sitting by a window, watching the raindrops race down the pane and sipping a cup of your favourite coffee sounds like the perfect combination; so does reading a nice book with a mug of coffee in one hand, while it snows outside. But, picture someone doing the same when it’s 40 degrees outside. Of course, a decent amount of chilled coffee would be good to seek respite from the scorching heat, but since, the natural tendency of coffee is to heat up your body, it would be better to consider cooler options. This argument is based purely on discomfort/ comfort so we’ll let you pick the obvious choice.
6. When Your Body Desperately Needs It
From being a great start to your morning when you’ve got a presentation or a perfect way to ward off the weariness from the hectic day at work to easing out those menstrual cramps, this cup of jolt could be your saviour on many days. Just do not let your body become so accustomed to it, that you have a bad time dragging yourself to work on days when you don’t get it. But, coffee addiction is a real thing, guys. The caffeine molecule is water soluble and fat soluble. This means that it can pass through the blood-brain barrier and directly alter our brains. It also courses through our veins and affects the blood and cellular membranes. This is where addiction begins.
7. How Do You Like Your Coffee, Sir?
While debating the good and bad of coffee, how can you not consider the amount of sugar or the extra fat cream that goes into your Latte? You dare not blame poor coffee for the thick blanket of fat around your belly. If you’re too worried about gaining those inches, opt for black coffee. Yes, copious amounts of black coffee are also bad for you but you can safely drink one cup a day.
Now, for the tough part.
Is it going to be “Now, I’m educated and can continue drinking my coffee again.” or “Dude, I’m going to kick this habit"?
It seems like while coffee has been linked to weight loss, longer life and less depression, it is easily addictive and can be dangerous in excess.
What is “excess”? Up to 400 mg of caffeine is safe for a full grown adult in a day. This amount is roughly 4 cups of coffee. We’re okay with that! Anything is better than losing coffee forever! Read more
Suggested for you
Sai Prasanthi R L has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
13 hours ago
Q. Hlw dr its my 6th month pregnency can i intimate with my partner
Sai Prasanthi R L
Mom of a 10 yr 2 m old boy
13 hours ago
A. Hello dear! If your pregnancy is going on fine without any high risk factors then it’s okay. Still, would advise you to check with your doctor once before going further. Maintain a good personal hygiene routine and a healthy lifestyle
Abhaya Rajput has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
10 hours ago
Q. My breasts feel full and heavy, but there’s no milk when pumping and during feeding baby —what do I do?
Abhaya Rajput
Mom of a 14 yr 4 m old boy
4 hours ago
A. Hello there ma’am please do not worry about it too much. But it is really very difficult to say anything without proper examination. It is advisable to get yourself evaluated by a doctor and follow doctors advise properly. You can also book online doctor’s appointment on FirstCry where the doctor can help you and guide you properly.
Thanks and take care
Dr Disha Patel has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 6 months
10 hours ago
Q. can I take medicine pcm n citrazene in pregnancy fir sore throats n fever
Dr Disha Patel
Ayurvedic Physician
5 hours ago
A. dear mom.
better to take tab pcm for time being n do take steam inhakation couple of tines a day, follpw good home renedies for cold, taje more rest .
Swati Kar Samanta has added a new answer
Mom of a 9 m old child
3 hours ago
Q. hi everyone good morning,
sorghum can I give to my 10 month baby is it safe or not please revert I waiting for your reply
Swati Kar Samanta
Mom of a 2 m old girl
2 hours ago
A. Yes but first give in very small quantity to judge the reaction of your baby.
Rashmi has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
1 hour ago
Q. #asktheexperts is it okay that the baby is kicking less than usual?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. Yes it is the what part is that your child is kicking if you feel that there is a movement of your child whether it is a cake or slight movement also you know that your child is doing fine so there is no problem in that if the movement is less it’s completely alright
Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
57 mins ago
Q. #asktheexperts what to do if the baby’s nose is blovked
Dr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
56 mins ago
A. Nasal blockage is very common, specially in small children because of the narrow nasal cavity. Any kind of saline drops like nasal clear will be helpful in dissolving the stuffy secretions, which can be taken out by vnasal aspirator gently also steam inhalation will be helpful also, try to avoid keeping the child directly under the fan.
Check out this new Memory
Kavya Priya
Guardian of a 1 yr 9 m old girl
New Memory
#kidno1
0 Likes
0 Comment
Check out this new Memory
Anwesha Das
Mom of a 3 m old girl
New Memory
#babyphotochallenge
0 Likes
0 Comment
Check out this new Memory
Gagandeep Goyal
Guardian of a 4 yr 5 m old boy
New Memory
#kidno1
0 Likes
0 Comment
Check out this new Memory
Prabhjot kaur
Mom of a 6 yr 6 m old girl
New Memory
#kidno1
0 Likes
0 Comment
Check out this new Memory
Sandeep
Mom of a 2 yr 8 m old girl
New Memory
#kidno1 baby
0 Likes
0 Comment
Tell us more about yourself get More Personalised
- Infant0 to 6 Months
- Baby6 Months to 2 Yrs
- Toddler2 to 4 yrs
- Kids4-6 yrs
- Big Kids6+ yrs
- Expecting
- Trying to Conceive