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How to Discipline Children - Parenting Methods & Important Tips
Is your child deliberately picking up fights with you or with his teachers in school? Is he displaying aggressive behaviour by bullying his peers? You may have even noticed that your child feels sad and depressed for long periods of time and does not talk to anyone. The problem is that he does not have any strong and positive role models from whom he can draw inspiration. Such kind of behaviour is a sign of a lack of a healthy environment in school and at home. But worry not, as this can be rectified through discipline.
Why is Spanking Not the Best Option to Discipline Your Child?
Nearly all of us grew up under child discipline methods of scolding, beating, or being spanked, and now we seem to have accepted it as means of growing up phase and lead our lives rather efficiently. But statistics and research have now shown that spanking your kid can have unwanted effects on his physical and mental well-being.
Spanking always seems to work the first time it’s done. Your child relents and begins listening to you. But repetitive administration leads to him being insensitive to it and he begins to manifest hateful emotions for the same. The worst part is that spanking develops a fear in children, and he might often find it difficult to communicate freely because of the fear of being scolded or spanked.
Initially, you may try to talk to him calmly and patiently, but once you resort to spanking, it makes him think that you do not care about him anymore, which only fuels his anger and aggressive behaviour and he does not take responsibility for his actions. He begins to accept that anger is the only appropriate way to handle conflicts and maintain control. And as he grows old, it may result in physical fights which could end up hurting him.
Research has also shown that spanking causes long-term behavioural impact on the mental health of kids. With no understanding of a mature way to handle conflict, such children grow up to be adults who resort to alcohol and violence to handle their emotions, hit their children or spouse, and lead a frustrated life thereafter.
What to Do if Your Child Throws a Temper Tantrum?
Tantrums can be prevented by giving your child positive reinforcement for good behaviour. If he helps you with your chores or finishes his work on time, a simple pat on the back and a few words of encouragement would be enough to set his moral compass right.
Whenever you sense that a certain situation might cause him to start throwing a tantrum, step in before he even has a chance to react, and ask him if he is feeling fine or if there’s something he would like to tell you. If he does tell you properly about his issue, help him in resolving the problem. However, if he starts getting frustrated, maintain your own calm and make him understand why certain actions are unacceptable. Telling him in a gentle tone that he can be angry if he wants to, but he is not allowed to throw things around the house. This will make him understand that his actions are wrong and your patient behaviour towards him will make him happy and he will feel that his emotions are being acknowledged. A gentle approach always goes a long way.
If, at all, he completely loses control and starts throwing tantrums, start by ignoring his behaviour completely and carrying on as usual. But, do keep a watch on him to ensure that he isn’t harming himself or anyone else in the home. If such kind of behaviour is increasing and he gets physically violent, restrain him by holding him firmly. Do not slap or spank in order to control him. Use enough strength to restrain any physical movement and he will gradually calm down.
Once he calms down, let him drink some water and wash his face. Distract him from the issue at hand by bringing up a new topic or asking him to help you with some household chore. If he is considerably grown up, talk to him about why such tantrums are harmful and unacceptable, and find better ways to communicate in the future.
The Best Ways to Discipline Children
When children are in their growing stage, it is the responsibility of parents to keep their behaviour in check, otherwise, they will go out of hand. Children spoiled in young age, remained spoiled for life. So, a little discipline is necessary, don't you think? But how to discipline them so that they take it in a positive manner? Here are some ways of making sure that your children behave properly without you having to resort to physical or verbal thrashing.
Second Chance – If your child has been rude or disrespectful towards you or anyone, make him aware of what he did and ask him to repeat his actions without being rude.
No More Talking – If he has said something rude or unpleasant, ask him to firmly stay silent for some time. This will give him some time to think and introspect. He will understand that such a behaviour was completely unnecessary and will remember it in future.
Let Him Win – If certain things are not to your liking but the consequences aren’t harmful to anyone, you can let him win an argument and allow him certain control in his own life.
Breathe – Shouting back at a child who is already throwing tantrums and shouting will only result in noise and disrupt the neighbours. So, instead of playing the shouting game, firmly send your child to his room or ask him to sit in a corner for a while, and let him calm down.
Spare the Rod – Spanking your child or hitting him should rarely be an option. Using the rod even in the mildest form creates a fear in him rather than a sense of responsibility for his actions. So, remember never to spank your child even if you are angry at him. You don't want him to be afraid of you.
No ‘I-told-you-so’ – Even when you forewarn him about an upcoming problem, he may ignore it until it stares at him right in his face. As tempting as it might be, don’t resort to telling him that you had warned him already. Help him in dealing with that problem and he will appreciate that you are by his side.
Be Smart – When your child doesn’t want to listen to you, create interesting scenarios for him so that he will end up listening to you and doing what you wanted him to do.
Sacrifice – In order to show him the cost of his actions, take away his favourite toy or video-game for some time until he understands what he did was wrong.
Restricting Social Interactions – Restricting social interactions of a child is a solution that might work because he wouldn't want to get embarrassed in front of his friends. But, don't use this way when he is with his friends or among relatives. As this will lower his morale and he will dislike you. Although it is one of the options, it is best to avoid it.
Love and encouragement – It is a common misconception among people that to disciple a child, one needs to use strict ways. But that is not true at all. Discipline can be inculcated once children are encouraged for good behaviour. You talk to your child politely and he will listen to you. Discipline is never confined to a strict approach, it is blossomed by a positive tone.
Tantrums are a child’s way of showing his dislike and refusal to agree with what you’re asking since he isn't fully equipped to process unwanted emotions. By understanding your child better and using the right methods to inculcate discipline, your child will not only behave better but become closer to you as well.
Also Read: How to Make Kids Listen to You – 12 Best Tips Read more
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. #asktheexperts what to give children when starting solids?
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 8 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. After completing the time of six months you should start with dal water and rice water followed by all kind of fruits and vegetables porridge khichadi mash banana mash potato mash sweet potato dairy products and varieties made made out of ragi Suji and oats can also be given to your child
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बच्चों को माँ की जरूरत है मेड की नहीं
मैं जहाँ रहती हूँ वहाँ ९०% माता-पिता नौकरी करते हैं और उनके बच्चों को मेड पालती है। जो बडे़ है वो अपना ख्याल रख लेते है पर जो छोटे हैं वो पूरी तरह से मेड के सहारे रहते हैं। मैने उन बच्चों को मेड के गंदे हाथों से खाना खाते देखा है। जिस हाथ से मेड खुजली करती है उन्ही हाथों से बच्चे को खाना खिलाती है। कोई चीज अगर जमीन पर गिर जाए तो उसे झाड़-पोछकर बच्चे को खिला देती है। बीमार होने पर बच्चों को रोते देखा है मैने क्योंकि माँ को तो छुट्टी मिल नही सकती इसलिए बीमारी मे भी बच्चा मेड के पास रहता है।स्कूल की छुट्टी के बाद बच्चों को बाहर घंटो मस्ती करते हुए देखा है क्योकि घर पर तो कोई है ही नही पूछने वाला।
जरा सोच कर देखिये बीमार बच्चे को माँ की जरुरत है या मेड की।
ऐसे बच्चे टीवी और मोबाईल से भी चिपके रहते है क्योंकि कोई रोकने टोकने वाला नही होता। टीवी और मोबाईल पर बहुत सारी ऐसी चीजे होती है जो शायद बच्चों को नही देखनी चाहिए। मोबाईल से निकलने वाली रेडिएशन भी बच्चो के दिमाग को नुकसान पहुँचाती है। हद से ज्यादा टीवी देखने से भी बच्चो की आँखों को नुकसान पहुँचता है। और आजकल बच्चे टीवी देखते- देखते खाना खाने का भी शौक रखते है जिससे वो ज्यादा खाना खा लेते है और मोटापे का शिकार हौ जाते है।
एक एेसे ही बच्चे के बारे मे बताऊँगी जिसके माँ- बाप नौकरी पर चले जाते और वो दादा-दादी के पास रहता। चौथी क्लास मे पढ़ता है। स्कूल से लौटने के बाद टीवी पर लग जाता। दादा-दादी की बात नही सुनता। जब टीवी से मन भर जाता तो मोबाईल लेकर बैठ जाता अपने दादाजी का। दादा-दादी सोचते की गेम खेलता है पर शायद आप यकीन नही करेंगे वो अश्लील विडियो देखता था। एक बार उसके दादा जी ने पकड़ लिया और उसके माता-पिता से बताया। माता-पिता ने बच्चे को डाटा फटकारा बस लेकिन माँ आज भी नौकरी करने जाती है। बच्चे से ज्यादा नौकरी पसंद है।
अब जरा सोचिए चौथी क्लास का बच्चा अगर अश्लील विडियो देख रहा है तो उसका भविष्य कहाँ जा रहा है।
आये दिन हमे ये सुनते है कि मेड बच्चे को पीटती है। एक छोटा सा बच्चा जो कुछ बता नही सकता ये सब सहता रहता है और डरा डरा सा रहता है। माँ को जब पता चलता है तो वो मेड को निकाल देती है और सीसीटीवी कैमरा लगवा देती है। फिर से उसकी तलाश शुरु हो जाती है नये मेड की।
बडे शहरों मे माता-पिता बच्चो को मेड के सहारे छोड़ कर नौकरी पर जाते है और मेड बच्चे को गंदे कपडे़ पहनाकर भीख मँगवाने ले जाती है या फिर बच्चे को अफीम खिला के सुला देती है और अपने प्रेमी को घर पर बुला कर मजे करती है।ऐसी और भी बहुत सारी बाते सुनने मे आती हैं।
कुछ बच्चों को तो शारिरिक और मानसिक शोषण भी सहना पड़ता है और वो डर के कारण कुछ कह नही पाते। अपने इस पोस्ट के माध्यम से मैं बस इतना ही कहना चाहती हूँ कि पूरी जिन्दगी पड़ी है नौकरी करने के लिए, पहले अपने बच्चे की परवरिश कीजिये ताकि उन्हे इस तरह की किसी तकलीफों से ना गुजरना पडे़।
एक माँ से अच्छी परवरिश अपने बच्चों की कोई नहीं कर सकता।
धन्यवाद
स्वाती कपिल गुप्ता
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Twinkle Khanna Has a Brilliant Response On Why She Didn’t Change Her Surname After Marriage
As women, we go through so many changes in our life that there are always new friendships and new traditions to be explored. Our social circles change as we move from our roles of a wife and daughter-in-law to a mom and we do our best to keep our world happy. But it takes a lot to please our society. No matter what you do, there will always be some tradition or notion you don’t quite embrace 'properly' and this is hailed as your weakness. Bollywood mom and columnist Twinkle Khanna recently had a taste of just how interfering society can get when a Twitter user decided to pester her. He grounded her for using her maiden name even after marriage. How she responded to him reveals volumes about just what makes her life and relationships work…
Twinkle Khanna got married to Akshay Kumar in 2001 and the couple have two children together – 14 year old son Aarav and 2-year-old daughter Nitara. Twinkle quit acting after her marriage and instead pursued her other passion in life – writing. Mrs FunnyBones is now a top columnist and best-selling author with her first book selling over one lakh copies in India. They are a happy, close-knit family and don’t let the glamour and glitz invade their personal lives. While Twinkle looks after everyone and keeps the household working well, Akshay too takes time out to be with the children and go on walks, vacations and important school events. But there will always be some people who find fault and ferret out reasons to question other people’s decisions….
Recently, on Twitter, a gentleman called Prabhakar Menasinkai grew very curious and interfering about why Twinkle goes by her maiden name ‘Khanna’ instead of using her husband’s surname ‘Kumar’.In his opinion, she should call herself “Twinkle Kumar” and not “Twinkle Khanna”. The practice of the wife changing her surname after marriage is a very old one and popular in Indian society as a tradition.Many women don’t think twice about getting this done – across paper work, certificates, and in regular usage. But some women prefer to stick to their maiden name.It is a completely individual decision and neither is right or wrong. However, the women in the latter group are often pestered by elders and relatives to change their surname.Not doing this, they feel, is an insult to their husband and his family and showcases a lack of commitment and dedication.It is almost as if being married must mean the woman is branded for life and must mandatorily carry signs of this brand on her person.
In response, Twinkle had something crisp but meaningful to say. We love this smart mommy for being so honest yet so polite!
"A lot of people bring this up, though not as stridently as this gentleman. Khanna it will always be.
#MarriedNotBranded"
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="508"] Source: https://twitter.com/mrsfunnybones[/caption]
Brilliant, Twinkle! Adopting your husband’s surname is hardly a must-do to make a marriage work. Love, affection and sharing in responsibilities are far more important than sticking to a tradition unless you want to.As a couple, Akshay and Twinkle have learned to embrace their differences, listen to each other, spend quality time together, and trust and respect each other without question.Now these things stick out a mile - much more than any other ritual can! Twinkle, in any case, has always 'loved' her name – her little daughter teases her about it,asking why she doesn’t live in the sky if she’s a star! If left to her mom, says Twinkle, her other names could have been Sparkle and Sprinkle!
That said, Twinkle Khanna has been fulfilling her role as a parent and wife beautifully. As a mother of two young children – a teenager and a toddler - Twinkle has a hundred things to do every day.She wakes up early in the morning to get her son ready for school and play with her little daughter. She takes out time to catch up with her yoga – something she has always been practising,stay up to date on official mails, and finally get on with her writing. In her 15 years of marriage to Akshay Kumar, there have been several ups and downs but her willingness to make things work and her ability to create a work-family balance have kept things in order.
Thank you, Mrs Funny Bones, for showing us just how to stand up for something we believe in, irrespective of what the society dictates.Our decisions are our very own and no one else should have the right to dabble with affairs that our not theirs. We only hope your kids grow up to be as a fiery and strong as their Mamma !!! Read more
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Tips for Potty Training Your Kids
Potty training is an integral part of a child's upbringing. And often, new parents are clueless as to how to go about it. Well, to ease your doubts and journey, today, we have a few tips for potty training that will help all new parents.
Tips for Potty training Your Kids:
Get the right potty seat, make the child choose their color
as the child will use it.
Training pots are of 2 types -one is the small pot or just the seat which fixes on adult seats. If the child is getting trained to use the big toilet, use a stool under their feet to relax.
Decorate the area near the pot, give a book or a toy so that they can spend some time sitting on the seat.
Schedule plays a vital role in the training. Just make the child sit in the seat right in the morning after having milk or before having milk.
Be a good example for the child. Talk to the child and tell them that we all use the washroom.
Tell them about all the steps from undressing themselves to flushing, washing hands, and finally dressing back.
Choose a potty-training rhyme; this also really helps, and a child gets motivated.
Rewards and compliments should be given whenever they put some effort. Don’t wait for success or failure.
Do role-plays with pretend toys where the dolls or toys are using the toilet seat.
Consistency is the key, so don't lose hope and try every day. Anything to form a habit takes around 25-30 days, so we must keep trying continuously.
Be patient, and you will train the child.
Make them joyful by telling the child time and again that he/she is a good boy/girl.
Celebrate when they use the toilet seat and inform the family members too. A warm hug makes a difference.
If sometimes they do not go in the right place, do not smack them. Make them realize that you were upset with what they did.
Every child is different, so their training will be a little additional, and we mothers have to twist some of the tips as per the child's needs. However, these pointers more or less cover the entirety of the potty training process. Happy parenting!
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her. Read more
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Meet The New Star On The Block – Misha Shahid-Mira Kapoor!
Something really cool happened yesterday. New Daddy Shahid Kapoor posted his daughter Misha's first ever picture on his Instagram account – and gosh, we are still trying to recover from the cuteness overload!
Born on 26 August 2016, baby Misha is now over 5 months old. You might remember this picture that Shahid shared previously, where he can be seen taking Misha home. But the couple barely let us get a glimpse of their angel back then. Shahid has always been fiercely protective about his daughter, right from the beginning, and kept her away from the public eye. However, he did promise that he would introduce his daughter to the world when he felt the time was apt. He previously said in an interview, “I will share Misha's picture very soon... I am just waiting for a special moment to do it, but I will do it soon.”
[caption id="attachment_167103" align="alignnone" width="1024"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/shahidkapoor/[/caption]
Well, everyone will agree when we say – we have been kept waiting for a really long time. Babies are so cute and angelic, their arrival into the world a moment of such delight, that who can help being eager to join in the celebration? Plus, there is always a curiosity to see whom the baby resembles more - Mommy or Daddy?
The wait finally ended for all of us yesterday as Misha looked right at us, and said 'Hello world'! We are so glad you didn't keep us waiting any further, Shahid. In the picture below, we can see mother Mira lying on the floor, cuddling Misha to her bosom, as Misha looks right into the camera. Not only is she unbearably cute, she is also already very confident, and does not appear to be camera-conscious or shy at all.
A star in the making? We think so!
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Source: https://www.instagram.com/shahidkapoor/[/caption]
While the baby name Misha is a guess-able combination of Mira and Shahid's names, it also means 'God like' in Russian. And we are pretty sure Shahid's fans all over the globe will agree – Misha sure seems to have a heavenly and angelic aura about her! She definitely looks 'out of this world' and is definitely bringing unparalleled delight to her family, every day!
From what he has been saying in his interviews, and the opinions he has expressed time and again, ever since wife Mira got pregnant, this much is assured – Shahid will indeed be a very doting father. From getting up at regular intervals to change Misha's diapers, to thinking about how he is going to raise her, and keeping his baby-girl away from papparazzi, he seems to have it all figured out already. Talking about what Misha means to him, Shahid said:
“Misha gives me a lot of strength. Life is all about her now. You don’t realize how much a child can make you feel.”
Well, we can certainly see how much it has changed Shahid. Fatherhood becomes him for sure. Bringing up a child is equal parts responsibility and sheer joy - and this loving Daddy is surely making both count!
Read more
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Dr Sameer awadhiya has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due in 7 months
2 hours ago
Q. hello, on my first visit doctor suggested me duphaston twice a day..so m taking it morning n bedtime.now on my second visit doctor added susten sr 200 one tablet daily at night ,as m already taking duphaston at night , kindly guide me when should I take the susten tablet,also m having dizziness after taking susten .
Read moreDr Sameer awadhiya
Paediatrician
2 hours ago
A. Regarding the mentioned concern your local doctor will guide you in a proper way and the doubts can be cleared accorjodingly .so you can discuss and get the solution for query.
Also online consultation can be taken on the platform and it will also be helpful in getting the proper guidance as there could be a detailed discussion which would be benifecial helpful in the correct manner .
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. can I take gevocet m during breastfeeding
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 8 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. Please check with your doctor they will be able to confirm whether you can take this medicine or or not as a Dr who have a fair idea and they will know for what thing you are willing to take this medicine so whatever doubt you have associated there be able able able to clear it up for you
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. can I take zanocin 200 during breastfeeding
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 8 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. I’m not aware about what medicine it is for I can only tell you that these basic medicines you can take throughout your lactation it’s not a problem the medicines that you could take before your pregnancy can always be taken during the time of lactation
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. #asktheexpert mam iam 33 weeks now when can I expect delivery date
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 8 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. The basic delivery date is normally 39 to 3 40 weeks of your pregnancy whenever you are ready for your delivery and whenever you hit your labour that’s going to be the right time for you further move your Dr is going to tell you when are you going to deliver with the help of an ultrasound
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
1 hour ago
Q. iam 33 weeks pregnant now
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 8 m old girl
1 hour ago
A. What is your question associated with your pregnancy that you haven’t mentioned clearly can you please repost your question providing all the necessary details so at least I know and understand what are you willing to ask and accordingly I can give you help and assistance on that
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