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Hip Pain in Pregnancy – Causes and Treatment
Pregnancy hormones bring a lot of changes to your body. One among the many major discomforts that a mother-to-be experiences is hip pain. Surfacing primarily in the second and third trimester, hip pain aggravates when the body gets heavier to accommodate the growing baby and is unable to balance this extra weight. The body also starts preparing for labour in the third trimester, and aching hips in pregnancy is a very common symptom at this time.
Hip Pain and Pregnancy
Hip pain affects many women during pregnancy. While some women are able to handle the discomfort, one in three pregnant women face problems with sleeping or performing day to day activities due to hip pain. Soreness and pain tend to be worse on the side of the uterus where the baby rests. At least half of all mums-to-be endure some sort of back pain, hip pain or pelvic pain at some point. As pregnancy progresses, these aches get more pronounced.
Causes of Hip Pain during Pregnancy
Hip pain is inevitable during pregnancy and is just another indication that the pelvic area is gearing up for childbirth. Pregnancy hormones are relaxing the ligaments (these ligaments hold the sacroiliac joints connecting the spine to the pelvis) to loosen up the pelvic bones so that they can shift for childbirth.
The physical changes in the body cause severe hip pain during pregnancy. Softening and shifting of the pelvic bones coupled with the pressure of carrying the uterus only add to it.
1. Relaxin
Relaxin, a hormone required for smooth delivery, is released as early as the first trimester. In the third trimester, relaxin is produced in large amounts and encourages the pelvic joints and muscles to relax, stretch, and become flexible. It helps the joints and ligaments between pelvic bones to loosen, increase in flexibility, thereby preparing the birth canal for an easy birth. Flexible bones ensure smooth movement of the baby through the body during labour.
2. Sciatica
The two sciatic nerves in your body (originating from the lower back region to the feet) are under a lot of pressure when your uterus is growing. This increased pressure on the sciatic nerve also causes severe hip cramps during pregnancy. The enlarged uterus applies pressure on the nerves, and you experience cramps in the hips, thighs and derrière. Generally, you feel a numbness, pain, and tingling sensation which is a common sign of sciatica.
3. Round Ligament Pain
Round ligament pain, considered a normal part of pregnancy, is a sharp jabbing pain felt in the lower belly and/or groin. The two round ligaments on either side of the uterus stretch and thicken to accommodate and support the baby. The pains are felt like occasional spasms lasting a few seconds which are uncomfortable but harmless. This occurs due to a sudden movement such as coughing, sneezing, or getting out of bed. These activities make the ligament tighten and cause a jabbing feeling. The pain is internal and difficult to gauge, but if it were to be traced on the skin, it would run along the bikini line of a high cut bathing suit.
4. Transitory Osteoporosis
Osteoporosis generally affects women over 40, but could also afflict younger women in the second and third trimester. Consult a doctor if you are experiencing sudden hip pain which aggravates while walking or during other normal physical activities. An MRI scan will be able to diagnose the condition, and the prognosis could last for up to 2 months. If left undiagnosed it could lead to a hip fracture.
5. Watch Out For
Increase in body weight owing to growing pregnancy can lead to pressure on the pelvis causing a shift and pain
It is important to maintain a good posture right from the start as your body’s usual balance will get affected due to the growing weight of the baby
Overweight women and with prior back and hip problems will definitely experience hip pain while pregnant. With an already existing pressure on the pelvis, your back and hips are only under added pressure due to the growing uterus
Treatment for Hip Pain While Pregnant
Treating pregnancy hip pain is imperative as it causes sleeping problems, stress, and discomfort during the day. Although hip pain is a very common symptom that accompanies pregnancy, there are several ways to relieve hip pain during pregnancy and make you feel comfortable.
1. Pregnancy Pillow
Good sleep is important for an expecting mother, and a good posture and proper support while sleeping alleviates sleep problems. A pregnancy pillow to support your pelvic region will aid in good sleep. The pillow adjusts to the body shape and offers support to the back, enlarged belly, and legs.
2. Sleeping On The Side
Hip pain can cause discomfort when you lie down in the third trimester. Sleep on your side with knees and legs bent to alleviate this. If pain persists, place a blanket or pillow under your lower back and try sleeping against it. Place a pillow to support the abdomen and the upper leg region for more comfort. Avoid crossing your legs while sleeping as this increases pressure on your hips.
3. Heat Remedy
A hot water bath or a placing a hot water bottle on your hips could give pregnancy hip pain relief. A massage with warm oil and a warm bath could also prove very relaxing but ensure the massage is gentle.
4. Adequate Rest
If you stand on your feet all day there is no doubt that there is more pressure on your pelvis, and this could aggravate hip pain. Try to sit or lie down at regular intervals to relax. Always stay in a position which gives maximum relief, rest and relaxation. Raise your legs while you sleep and ensure proper back support to ease the pain.
5. Schedule a Prenatal Massage
A therapeutic massage from a trained therapist can relieve aches and relax muscles. A therapist knows the exact sore points and will help you destress and unwind.
6. Yoga and Pilates
Enrol in a special pregnancy exercise class teaching Yoga or Pilates. The instructors are trained to identify and teach you the positions suitable to stretch your hip and pelvic muscles and provide relief from the discomfort.
7. Water Therapy
Sciatica hip pain is very common during pregnancy because the nerves are compressed by the growing uterus. Swimming is a great exercise when you are pregnant. It keeps the blood flowing and reduces tightness. It also reduces the pressure on the sciatic nerves and helps you stay in shape.
8. Belts and Girdles
Pregnancy belts and girdles or an iliac brace offer support to your back and stabilise the hip while performing any physical task.
Ways to Relieve Pain during Pregnancy - 7 Useful Commandments
By the end of the second trimester, you will have made peace with the fact that hip pain is here to stay, but it does not mean you can’t seek relief with some small tips. Here are a few ways to ease hip pain when pregnant:
Place a pillow under your baby bump to avoid rolling forward while sleeping.
Apply ice packs several times to give instant relief to the pain.
Gauge the comfort level of your mattress and try and invest in one which gives you maximum comfort.
Put aside those ‘high heels’ until your delivery. Choose flat pumps or slip ons to walk comfortably.
Drink lots of water and have food rich in calcium, magnesium and folic acid which help to retain bone density.
Pain killers are not recommended to alleviate the pain as the baby might get affected. Consult a doctor before administering any pain killers.
1. Stretching
Stretches help alleviate tightness, spasms and aches and also stimulate smooth labour. Pregnancy hip stretches are not just beneficial for you but for the baby too. When you stretch, it helps bring more oxygen to your baby, thus boosting his/her growth in the womb. Incorporate stretching into your daily routine while pregnant.
2. Simple Stretches to Relieve Hip Pain in Pregnancy
Stretching is helpful for the body, irrespective of whether or not you are pregnant. Stretching exercises lengthen your muscles and loosen the entire body to make you comfortable and improve well-being. Here are a few stretches you may try when you are pregnant:
3. Hamstring Stretches
Hamstrings, the largest muscles located at the back of your thighs, need to be flexible. Rigid hamstrings can cause hip or back pain. These stretches are best when done in a seating or standing position during the second trimester. Here is how to perform it:
While seated, extend one leg towards the front of your body
Bend the other leg with the foot resting on the thigh or knee bent inside your extended leg
Hamstrings will stretch when you lean towards the extended leg
4. Seated Piriformis Stretch
Piriformis, the tiny muscles passing from the tip of the femur bone towards the tailbone in the vertebrae, offers stability and controls the movement of the joints at the pelvis. Instability of this joint affects the muscle and causes pain. Here is how to perform it:
Sit in a cross legged position (one leg over another) and bend forward near the hip
Continue this stretch till you feel the elasticity at the back of your bottom
5. Hip Flexor Stretch
The hip flexor denotes a group of muscles that allow you to lift your knees and bend at the waist. These become stiff during pregnancy and intensify hip pain. Here is how to perform this stretch:
Stand at the bottom of a flight of stairs or a small stool. Hang on to the railing with one hand for support
Keep one foot on the first or second stair up (whichever you feel is comfortable) and bend the knee
The other leg on the floor behind you should be held straight with the knees standing erect
Move forward slightly and lean in your bent leg, keeping your back straight
The leg resting on the floor will feel stretched and relax the muscles
6. Child’s Pose
While accommodating the growing uterus, the spine becomes rigid and inflexible because of the weight imbalance in the body. This pose stretches and extends the muscles of the spine which often become stiff in pregnancy. Here is how to perform it:
Kneel with both palms firmly placed on the floor and the top of the feet pressed against the floor
The lower body should rest on the feet and the upper body and ankles above the thighs
Your forehead should touch the ground. Exhale as you stretch, and extend your arms to make your upper body parallel to the ground
Exhale as you bring your hands back into position and straighten your body
7. Breathe In and Out The Pain
For maximum benefit, stretching should be coupled with breathing. Deep breathe to allow more oxygen to the baby as you stretch. For those days when you don’t have time to stretch, it is a great idea to simply focus on deep breathing.
Care to Be Taken While Doing Hip Pain Exercises in Pregnancy
Always check with your physician when you plan to start a stretching exercise
Warm up first
Don’t overdo and do not bounce
Any pain or discomfort during stretches should not be neglected and medical intervention must be sought
Frequently asked Questions about Hip Pain
1. Can You Relieve Hip Pain during Pregnancy While Sleeping?
Try sleeping on your side to lower the pain. Try to lie on your back and squeeze a pillow between your knees. This realigns the pelvic bones and eases pain for a while. As your belly expands, the hip expands and you may need to add more pillows or a larger one to realign your hip.
2. Why is Hip Pain More Common during the Second and Third Trimester?
The baby bump which appears in the second trimester adds excess weight and pressure on joints and ligaments. This triggers back, pelvic and hip pain. Relaxin, a hormone to loosen the pelvic joints and muscles, is released from the first trimester, but increases manifold in the third trimester when the hip pain gets exacerbated. The pain is manageable with a little effort and healthy exercises.
3. Does It Hurt If You Walk When You Have Hip Pain?
You could try going on short walks to help reduce discomfort but try not to overdo it. Take sufficient breaks while walking.
4. Can You Get Hip Pain during the First Trimester or Is Hip Pain in Early Pregnancy Common?
Hip pain can occur at any point during pregnancy. The body releases relaxin right at the start of the first trimester but it does not react until the second or the third trimester. Some women experience an immediate release of relaxin in the first trimester even if the baby has not grown enough and this can cause hip pain.
5. What Does Left Hip Pain during Pregnancy Mean?
Hip pain is generally common across both sides of the pelvis. However, there are chances that you may experience a shooting pain on your left side of the hip. This could be because of wrong posture or lifting weights.
6. What Caution Signs Should You Watch Out for While Experiencing Hip Pain?
Hip pain accompanied by soreness in the pelvic region, lower abdominal cramps, pink or brown discharge from vagina, lower backache without relief, or unexpected contractions during your third trimester could be signs of pre-term labour.
Changes in a woman’s body during pregnancy can create many aches and pains. Hip pain is a common occurrence, especially as your baby grows in the last trimester. It could be a cause of major annoyance for some women causing sleep disruptions and hindrance in daily routines. The primary culprit - relaxin - is needed for a smooth delivery but it also causes hip pain.
With a little extra care, you are sure to be able to cope with the challenges and enjoy the joys of an expectant mother. Fortunately, hip pain due to pregnancy does not stay forever and wears out evenly once the baby is born. Read more
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Children's Vitamins and Minerals: Importance, Facts and Benefits
Vitamins and minerals are important for growing children as they provide all the essential nutrients required to support a child’s activities and development as he grows.
Human body is not capable of manufacturing the vitamins necessary for healthy development, which is why they must be supplemented via healthy diet. There are various vitamin and mineral-rich foods that are easily available in market such as milk and dairy products, meat, eggs, strawberries, mangoes, broccoli, tomatoes, carrots, green leafy vegetables and more. These can be cooked as delicious meals for fussy eaters to provide the required nutrition.
Importance of Vitamins
Vitamin A for Toddlers -
Vitamin A is important for toddlers as it helps in the development of cells and tissues in the body.
1. Benefits
Strengthens eyesight
Improves skin, nails and hair
Helps in growth and development of bones
Strengthens immune system and fights infections
2. Daily Amount
1 to 3 years old – 300 micrograms
4 years and above – 400 micrograms
3. Sources
Milk, cheese, eggs, orange and veggies such as carrots and sweet potatoes are rich in Vitamin A.
4. Deficiency
Deficiency of vitamin A can lead to a medical condition called xerophthalmia. Dry skin is one of the symptoms of vitamin A deficiency, while it also increases the risk of diseases and death from severe infections.
Vitamin B for Toddlers -
The family of B Vitamins are helpful in improving metabolism and production of energy in the body.
1. Benefits
Vitamin B1 helps in releasing energy from food and proper functioning of nervous system.
Vitamin B2 helps in the breakdown of fats, proteins and carbohydrates.
Vitamin B3 helps in the absorption of food and promotes growth.
Vitamin B6 helps in the breakdown of proteins into energy, brain functioning and also RBC production.
2. Sources
Milk, meat, cheese, yeast, nuts, eggs, fish, beans, wholemeal breads, whole grain foods and cereals are some Vitamin B rich foods. In order to gain benefits of vitamin B, all types of B vitamins need to function in tandem with each other and it is vital to obtain all types of B vitamins in proper amounts.
3. Deficiency
A diet deficient in different types of B vitamins can cause the nervous system to function poorly in children and adults alike. It affects their ability to learn, poor memory, moodiness, confusion etc. Skin conditions like dry skin and oily skin, acne can be the signs of vitamin B deficiency.
Vitamin C for Toddlers -
Vitamin C is essential for healthy muscle and tissue growth as well as improves the skin.
1. Benefits
Helps in building collagen
Fights against infections
Absorbs iron from food
Keeps teeth, bones and gums healthy
2. Daily Amount
1 to 3 years old – 15 milligrams
4 years and above – 25 milligrams
3. Sources
Orange, kiwi, strawberry, broccoli, tomatoes, peppers and other citrus foods are rich sources of Vitamin C.
4. Deficiency
Deficiency of vitamin C can cause scurvy that leads to formation of brown spots on the skin, spongy gums, and bleeding from all mucous membranes.
Vitamin D for Toddlers -
Vitamin D aids in regulating the immune system, production of insulin and growth of cells in the body.
1. Benefits
Helps in absorption of calcium
Keeps bones and teeth strong and healthy
2. Daily Amount
1 to 3 years old – 10 micrograms
4 years and above – 15 micrograms
3. Sources
Sunlight, oily fish, egg yolks and butter are good sources of Vitamin D.
4. Deficiency
Deficiency of vitamin D leads to rickets in children that weakens the bones and also causes diseases related to bones.
Vitamin E for Toddlers -
Vitamin E helps fight against germs and ensures free blood flow through the vessels.
1. Benefits
Boosts the immune system
Helps in the development of eyes and healthy skin
2. Daily Amount
1 to 3 years old – 6 milligrams
4 years and above – 7 milligrams
3. Sources
Sunflower and canola oils, margarine and nuts are some Vitamin E rich foods.
4. Deficiency
Severe deficiency of Vitamin E in toddlers can cause chronic lever disease, slow growth, mild anemia, muscle weakness dryness of skin and hair, drooping upper eyelid, leg cramps etc.
Importance of Minerals
The two most vital minerals for the healthy growth of children are iron and calcium.
Calcium for Toddlers -
1. Importance
Helps in building strong bones and teeth
Helps in healthy functioning of nerves and muscles in the body
Is vital for blood clots
Helps in converting food into energy
2. Daily Amount
1 to 3 years old – 500 milligrams
4 years and above – 800 milligrams
3. Sources
Milk, cheese, yogurt, tofu and calcium-fortified orange juice are some rich sources of calcium.
4. Deficiency
Deficiency of calcium can cause bone development problems like bow legs in kids. Moreover, it can cause muscle cramps, numbness, poor appetite, paresthesia (burning or prickling sensation), petechiae (formation of tiny red dots due to bleeding under the skin).
Iron for Toddlers -
1. Importance
Vital for making haemoglobin and myoglobin
Necessary for avoiding anaemia
Helps in the development of the brain
2. Daily Amount
1 to 3 years old – 7 milligrams
4 years and above – 10 milligrams
Extra Vitamin and Mineral Supplements - Good or Bad?
Excess of everything is bad and excess of nutrition is also bad. Overdose of vitamins and minerals can be dangerous for kids as the fat soluble vitamins become toxic if taken in large amounts. Your child requires tiny amount of vitamins and minerals that can easily be obtained from his every day diet. It is best to let your child eat a variety of nutrition-rich foods than taking tablets or pills, unless prescribed by the doctor. This is because supplements cannot replicate all the goodness and nutrition provided by whole foods. But since kids are not exactly enthusiastic feeders, sometimes they need the external sources of vitamins/minerals to compensate the deficit they may be facing. You may choose to give your toddler supplements with the advise of his doctor. Be careful and selective while choosing and administering the supplements for your child. Read more
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5 Things Making Potty Training Difficult for Today's Parents - Here Are 3 Tips That Help
Toilet training your child is a very important step towards his growth. It not only makes him independent, but also instills in him a sense of confidence. But toilet training is also one of the most challenging tasks for a parent, especially if you're doing it for the first-time.
For parents of any time and age, getting kids to use the toilet and not dirty the diapers (and the floor!) has been a challenge. But the interesting thing is, if you ask your parents, they will tell you it wasn't all that difficult. You learnt to use the potty eventually. So, is this just the glossing effect of nostalgia or do we really have things more difficult?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpQEYsAQFNo
Well, according to child development experts, toilet training has indeed become harder for parents in today's generation.
Here, There are Five Main Reasons for Potty Training Resistance:
1. Diapers have gotten Better and Drier
This sounds a bit counter-intuitive, but the fact that we now have diapers that are gentle on the skin and super-absorbent can actually make things trickier! Modern diapers are so good that our children don’t feel wet and uneasy after urinating or passing stool. And when they don't feel discomfort, the chances of their wanting to use the toilet instead of the diaper get dim.
2. Many Moms are Finding it Hard to Make the Training Continuous
We have stressed out lifestyles, far more than what our parents experienced. This often means disjointed care for our kids. We spend time away from our children when we go out to work and leave them in the daycare or with a caregiver. If you had started potty training at home, but your child wears a diaper in the daycare, there is no continuity in the training ar all. This lack of consistency makes things more difficult for us and for our kids.
3. There's Less Advice Pouring in on What Worked for an Older Generation
Yes, it is true: hacks and 'grandma' tips really do work at times. You may have been a child resistant to potty training and then the three-day method worked for you. Maybe you needed a little reward or motivation to keep going. We all have our own tricks and tips tailored to us. But today, many families are geographically dislocated. This means that as new mothers, we end up getting less time and opportunities to discuss things with others who have more experience. There's only so much that the internet can achieve.
4. We are Feeling more Pressured, which is making our Efforts more Strained
Experts also believe that modern parents are likelier to feel guilty or pressured about potty training. If a colleague or a neighbour's kid has achieved this, we end up pressuring our child too, never mind their differences in age or growth. And, because each child develops at a different pace, this usually fails. The only thing that happens is that our efforts get more strained and our kids also sense the pressure. End result: they don't learn.
5. Finally, We are Reading the Signs of Readiness Wrong
For your kids to learn to use the potty properly, they need to have the required readiness - both in language and in motor skills. They also need to feel a sense of ownership about their own bodies and start seeing this as something that liberates them from diaper changing, or nudging mom when they feel 'uneasy'. If we misread these signs, or start imagining they are there when they aren't, we will choose the timing incorrectly. This is the biggest reason for potty training failures.
Source:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/parenting/why-do-todays-parents-find-potty-training-so-tough/
Look Out for These Signs to Start Potty Training in Children
Some parents don’t deal with the task of potty training their children till they’re 3 to 4 years old. It is important to remember that you need to watch out for signs to start potty training your child. You too may think that you should start only when your toddler’s bladder control has become more reliable. While there is no set age, there are a number of physical, behavioural and cognitive signs that determine when you should start potty training. Keep a track of the following signs to know when the right time arrives:
Physical Signs
When your child is coordinated enough to walk and even starts to run steadily
When your toddler starts having regular and well-timed bowel movements
When he starts to urinate a fair amount at once. This clearly implies that he’s ready to do it on his own
When he begins to have control of his potty habits, for example, when he’s able to take a 2-hour nap without wetting his pants or waking up to go. It means that his bladder muscles have developed
Behavioural Signs
He’s able to sit down in one position for a couple of minutes at a time
He’s able to dress and undress himself somewhat
He starts giving a physical or verbal sign when he’s having a bowel movement. The sign could be anything such as grunting, squatting or actually informing you that he has to go for potty
He tries hard to be independent. He even gets a little embarrassed when you take him to the washroom to urinate or defecate
He stops being resistant to learning how to use the toilet or potty seat
Cognitive Signs
When your toddler starts to understand the physical signs that mean he has to go to the toilet
When he can follow simple instructions and actually completes them
When he knows which object belongs where in the house
When he knows how to say the words for urine and stool
3 Tips to Make Potty Training Easier and Faster
Make your child sit on the potty seat for 30 minutes everyday after meals
Ditch the distractions. Ensure your child is only focused on the task so keep the TV shut and those toys away
Encourage and Reward. It is important to acknowledge your child's efforts and encourage them to become better at it. Chocolates as a treat always work!
Potty training is a tricky, but important milestone. It’s not how early you start to potty train your child that matters; it’s starting it at the right time. If you force it upon him too early, he could take longer than usual to learn it and get accustomed to it. On the other hand, if you delay the process for too long he might develop low self-esteem because of embarrassment. Since all kids are different, you don’t need tick off all indications in this potty training readiness checklist. Just look for a general overall trend towards your tot being independent and self-sufficient. That done, you should be able to overcome the challenges and ensure you ace this parenting responsibility very well. Read more
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These 9 Habits of Parents Can Cause Future Issues For Children. Let's Be Careful!
.. because to err is human, and parents are humans too! Children occupy centrestage in their parents' lives; we do so much for our children, and try our best to give them a good upbringing. How, then, do so many children grow up ill-adjusted to adult life?
It is not our intention to demean anybody's efforts. We hand it to you – you are doing more than just the best for your child. However, what many of us fail to realise – doing a lot is NOT the same as doing the right thing. If a plant needs to be out in the sunlight, you cannot cover it up, place it in the darkest corner of your house, and expect it to thrive. Some of us may even go so far as to saying, “How dare you say I don't care for you? I protected you from the sun!” but is that really what the plant needed to thrive?
9 Common Indian Parenting Mistakes, and How They Affect Our Children
Here are 9 of the most common parenting mistakes that most of us commit, and ways to fix them.
1. Sorry, Not Sorry
“Have there been instances when a heartfelt apology would have meant a world of difference to me? Of course. Would I have grown up to be a more confident adult, had I been offered an apology when it was due? I have no doubt about it.” - Lukasz Laniecki, Quora
Let's be honest – aren't we all guilty of this one? While some of us may refuse to accept our mistake only in selective matters, many of us NEVER say sorry to our children (even when we well know we're guilty!). One of the obvious outcomes of this is that children do not learn to say sorry. However, a more serious effect of this is that: children may develop a habit of rationalising wrong behaviour. This is going to leave them ill-equipped to become mature, and 'adult'.
Fix It: Start with the small things. Next time you are in the kitchen and your little one comes in the way, and you scold her, apologise. It won't come easy, and will take a lot of conscious thinking and effort on your part. But it is an important step to raise conscientious children.
2. Helicopter Parenting
Do you know names and addresses of all her friends? Do you know how much she scored on each of her class tests? Do you hover over her while she is having her meal, ensuring she finishes everything on her plate? Do you go to her sports/hobby classes and sit through them till they finish so you can observe her performance and bring her home yourself? Many Indian moms (and dads) do this; many Indian parents are "helicopter parents".
This behaviour on our part usually arises from fear, care and love. We may mean well when we follow the helicopter parenting style as our intention is just to protect and look after our kids. However, let's pause for a moment and think – how are our children going to survive when we are not around, if we don't let these crucial abilities develop?
Fix It: Give your children enough breathing space, room to make mistakes, and freedom to explore life. Make sure they imbibe your morals, values, and lessons, rather than your 'instructions'; they will automatically develop a sense of right and wrong and make good choices.
3. Dismissing their Problems/Questions
There are many things about our children's lives that we dismiss. Two of the worst things to dismiss are our children's questions, and their problems. Somehow it is unfathomable for us that a small child or a school-going kid can have legit problems that warrant due attention.
Dismissing our children's questions as unimportant, irrelevant, bizarre or audacious, stunts their curiosity. It stunts their creativity. Dismissing our children's problems as non-existential, conjured-up, or trivial, leads them to developing an inferiority complex, low self-worth, and can even affect their ideas about self-respect.
Fix It: When your child talks to you, listen. Put things aside and give your child the time and attention she deserves. Parents have their hands full and a child's questions may be unending! But let's make the effort to take their concerns seriously, and address their issues sincerely.
4. Treating them like a 'Kid'
While dismissal may be more common in younger kids, this particular parenting mistake is more common in older kids. Many a time, parents refuse to see their growing children as individual human beings in their own right. They continue to 'parent' them, even as they start becoming independent, going to college, and going to work, and sometimes even after marriage. For many Indian parents it seems almost impossible to step out of their role of 'parents' and give up on their duties and responsibilities as one.
This can be damaging in many ways. For as long as you keep preparing the road for your child, instead of preparing your child for the road, you are going to leave your child ill-equipped to take on even some of the most basic challenges of life.
Fix It: Let them adult. Let them become independent. Instead of doing things for them and patronising them all the time, equip them to make sane choices in life. That's more important for true survival.
5. Picking Inappropriate Nicknames
While most of us are aware enough to not call anybody bad names in front of the child, there is another kind of name-calling that can do equal damage.
We are talking about nicknames.
While we may not think much about them, nicknames can greatly affect a child. Being teased or given a nickname based on one's size, colour, features, can be very damaging to the self-image of a child. Such kids may subconsciously limit their potential because they believe they are a certain kind/type of individual and hence do not deserve or are not allowed to want or desire certain things in life. For example, a fat kid may not feel worthy enough to apply for a certain job because he equates his self-worth to his size, making him feel like the job is 'out of his league'.
Mom and columnist Twinkle Khanna agrees, "We go through Sanskrit tomes, consult astrologers and after grave contemplation decide on an illustrious sounding name for our offspring. However, the moment the umbilical cord is cut, the name immediately changes to ‘Aru’ or ‘Pintu’ or something like that! They sound cute, definitely, but when our kids grow up, they may actually find these less cute and more embarrassing."
On the other hand, while sarcasm is a great form of humour, a child who is exposed to it since childhood can grow up to be a bitter person. He may normalise sarcasm and adapt it as a regular part of his communication, which in turn will affect the kind and quality of relationships he has with other people as he grows up.
Fix It: Do not give your children such seemingly innocent nicknames like 'golu', 'dholu', 'sukadu', 'rotlu', etc. Make a conscious effort to avoid such nicknames.
6. My Way or the Highway
This style of parenting is called authoritarian parenting. Of the different styles of parenting, this one can be especially damaging.
Many Indian parents want their children to follow certain things, do exactly as they are told, and have the same opinions as they do. The idea that our child might have different views is hugely unsettling for many of us; it is even considered a form of rebellion in India. We may do this out of a sense of protection, or because of our concept of a 'moral and well-behaved child'. But this can be very damaging for the child's emotional development as well as independent thinking.
Fix It: Flip your perspective. Try to step into your child's shoes and understand where she is coming from. Realise that you don't 'own' your child, and that she may grow up to be a totally different person from what you want her to be, and that's okay! That's not a bad thing.
7. Daily Habits
It has now been established that parents' everyday habits – like smoking, drinking, partying, eating habits, etc. – have a direct impact on their children. While most of us might instinctively know that smoking and drinking habits of parents do encourage kids to follow in their footsteps, it might be a little amusing to think the same is relevant for eating habits as well.
This is, however, a big untapped means for us to nip childhood obesity in the bud. Imagine if we all started eating healthy, with proper portion control, and made wise food choices. Not only will our health drastically improve, we will be shaping our future generations well too.
Fix It: Be conscious and aware of the choices you make in front of your child – do you buy packaged water, or carry a bottle with you? Do you go for a second helping on the desserts? Do you get drunk or tipsy in front of your child? Children see, children do.
8. Guilting into Bad Parenting
Here are a few signs to identify this kind of parenting: do you give in to your children's demands more often than not? Does it make you uncomfortable when your child is angry or pissed off at you because you didn't give him what he wanted? When you try to parent your child, are you able to hold your ground, or does your child get his way? If you answered 'yes' to these questions, your style of parenting is 'indulgent parenting'.
Many parents might think this is okay; it is alright to indulge your children. However, it can have serious consequences too. Overindulgence of your children will lead them to thinking that that's how happiness is created in life – by acquiring things you want. Such children may develop compulsive behaviours, such as addictions, later on in life.
Fix It: Do not be desperate to get your child's approval and stay in his good books all the time. Teach him how to accept a 'no', because life is not always going to say 'yes' to everything he wants. If you know what you are standing for or doing or saying is right, let your child realise this. Give your child space and time to come to terms with it.
9. Not Practicing What We Preach
This one is especially important when trying to reinforce concepts about gender roles and equality. If you say 'men and women are equal', your son and daughter should see that in the house. That means – your husband should set the dinner table sometimes, and you should drive the car sometimes when the family steps out for an ice-cream. That means – if you let your son sit in front of the TV while you serve him dinner in his hand, you should do the same for your daughter (although we think it would be best to NOT do it for either of them!).
You cannot allow your actions and your words to be out of sync, if you truly want your children to imbibe your upbringing. Young children may not understand the weight of your words, or their importance. But they are definitely observing you, watching your every move. We know that can be a rather stressful thought, but it doesn't have to be.
Fix It: be more aware of your actions and words. If your child ever questions you about them, take his questions for what they are – just questions. Do not look at his questions as a challenge to your authority, but more as a reflection of your actions.
Being a parent isn't an easy job - it requires a lot of patience, foresight and dedication, and doesn't allow for any breaks/holidays! What you're doing every day for your kids is amazing and we salute you. It can be difficult to sometimes take the hard decision and risk making your child unhappy or cranky. However, as parents, we need to think about our kids' future. In the words of mommy blogger Kristina Kuzmic, “If you're trying to do the right thing and parent your children, them not liking you is not terminal. You know what's terminal? Them turning into entitled bratty adults that the rest of the world now has to deal with.”
Let's fix these parenting mistakes and prevent our child from developing issues in the future. Happy mommying! Read more
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Dealing with Emotional Infidelity in Marriage
If your husband cheats on you, it may feel like an insurmountable hurdle. However, dealing with platonic infidelity, or extra-marital relationships your husband claims are only "friendship", can be equally challenging!
Does your husband have a female friend he’s really close to? Maybe they really are just friends. But what if it's turning into an emotional affair? While being paranoid is one of the worst things you can do to your marriage, there are times when you can't help but worry!
What is Emotional Infidelity?
Emotional or platonic infidelity is a kind of affair that starts innocently enough through friendship. It slowly shapes into an emotional bond, which hurts the intimacy in your marriage. Though your husband may not be doing it knowingly, there are some lines no extra-marital relationship should cross. What's worse, such affairs are often the gateway to sexual infidelity.
Signs of Emotional Infidelity
It's always better to diagnose a problem early than face heart-breaking consequences. If in doubt, watch out for the following signs.
Has your husband started sharing his passions and problems with another woman? It’s time to be alert! Things may actually progress to emotional adultery.
Has he started comparing you to a friend or a colleague? You may assume it’s nothing but it’s likely that he’s thinking what life would be like with her instead.
You’re not as physically involved anymore. Sex seems to be a distant memory. What’s more, he has started justifying his behaviour.
He spends too much time on his phone, messaging and chatting. He’s no longer eager to tell you about his day. In fact, he prefers staying in the 'do not disturb' mode at home.
Dealing with Platonic Infidelity
When you know that something’s not right, you start wondering whether to leave him, fight with him or ignore what’s happening. While the pain that you feel is intense, you can learn to handle and overcome it.
Show Gratitude:
Instead of taunts and sarcasm, practice showing gratitude. Until you’re positive he is cheating, there’s no point alienating him. Take a moment to focus on the good things in your marriage.
Become Emotionally Intimate:
If the two of you share a platonic relationship in your marriage, it’s time to try getting close again. Start communicating, share your feelings and do things together.
Cherish The Past and The Future:
Think about the times the two of you were deeply in love and respected each other. It may be difficult to relive the past, but you can use it as inspiration to try to get close again.
Surviving emotional infidelity in marriage takes patience so be prepared to put in a lot of work. That goes for your husband too. If he really has cheated on you, try to rebuild the trust you lost by talking things over. If you know how to handle a crisis, your relationship may just start healing! Read more
Dr Priyanka Kalra has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
14 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
At which day should I take pregnancy test
Dr Priyanka Kalra
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist
12 hours ago
A. after 2 weeks. do ultrasound n necessary tests after consulting a specialist. without proper check up we can't advise or help you.. Avoid shirt cuts when it comes to health if mother n baby. ok.
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
14 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
when should I take pregnancy test?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
13 hours ago
A. after missed your periods you can wait for one week more ,then you can do a urine pregnancy test to know about the pregnancy result and consult with your doctor according to the result for medication
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant has added a new answer
Trying To Conceive
14 hours ago
Q. I am having pcod problem.
but having regular cycles below 35 days. some time it will extended upto 40 days.
so when should I take pregnancy test at home?
Dr Laxmi Chavan-Sawant
Ayurvedic Gynaecologist
13 hours ago
A. If you have missed your periods you can wait for one week more or else you can do a urine pregnancy test to know about the pregnancy result and consult with your doctor according to the result for medication.
The best treatment to have Regular periods is by having a healthy lifestyle with regular daily walking or jogging along with mild exercise and meditation whenever possible. as medications will only act till you are taking them
Dr Ghouse has added a new answer
Expecting Mom due this month
11 hours ago
Q. Done my first routine blood test ..it shows thyroid border line.its my 6 week running as per USG.
but prior to that my thyroid level was always normal I did check up every year and got it normal .this time it shows borderline high in 6 week pregnancy.
is it something to worry.plz guide
Read moreDr Ghouse
Paediatrician
10 hours ago
A. it is better to follow your doctors advice for treating the thyroid deficiency. if there is no relief it is better you see your doctor for proper examination particularly physical examination if there is need for doing investigations to find out the problem and treatment ok
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. #asktheexperts
Best activity toys for 15 month old baby
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
6 hours ago
A. Toys which have light and also sounds so that is going to be a good option for you to use apart from the different kids have different interest some kids like to play with cars some like to play with something else so just have to try to figure out what your child likes to eat just check what your child is more inclined towards
Rashmi has added a new answer
Guardian of 0 children
6 hours ago
Q. how to gain weight 32weeks
Rashmi
Mom of a 9 yr 7 m old girl
6 hours ago
A. You need to have a lot of good proteins and that is what is going to be helpful have a balanced diet and good have good amount of proteins as well which is what is going to be beneficial and good weight gain for your child as well
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